The Assassins' Guild

[30 Nov, 08:00 AM] Return of The Jazz Monkey has a nice kill of Coryan Wilson-Shah (Murdoc AKA The Shanatu Shuffle AKA Super-Coryan, Wilson-Shah AKA Hydrophobia AKA Big Brother AKA Bobo (the Otter) AKA Will the real Bobo please stand up?) before breakfast. Is there a better way to start the day?

[30 Nov, 12:00 PM] The Darkness counter lurks his own lecture for The Shanatu Shuffle, encounters the corrupt Severus Snipe and kills Alasdair Wilkins (The Jazz Monkey AKA Nwala AKA TidalWave AKA Bobo (The otter))

[30 Nov, 12:00 PM] What day of assassins would be complete without Daniel Baker (The right coset g of a subgroup G in X) dying to Tithe My Wok

[30 Nov, 11:25 AM] Altair is still having trouble with those locked doors which abound in Cambridge

[30 Nov, 08:10 AM] The Darkness descends on Super-Coryan, Wilson-Shah's house but is unable to locate him

New on Monday, 30 November

[30 Nov, 00:57 AM] A police war has been declared, it is rumoured Severus Snipe has turned to the dark arts

[29 Nov, 20:00 PM] The right coset g of a subgroup G in X catches Chloe Ursula Wallis (Mr. Krabs)

[29 Nov, 16:00 PM] Super-Coryan, Wilson-Shah goes hunting but both The Jazz Monkey and The Darkness are hiding

New on Sunday, 29 November

[28 Nov, 18:30 PM] Severus Snipe emails the wrong person detailing his corruptness

[28 Nov, 12:00 PM] Daniel Baker (The left coset g of a subgroup G in X) again tried to kill Tithe My Wok for no reason and once again ended up dead

[28 Nov, 18:30 PM] Super-Coryan, Wilson-Shah encountered an ex-hat-wearing ex-assassin

[28 Nov, 04:56 AM] An anonymous message is received

New on Saturday, 28 November

[27 Nov, 14:00 PM] Upon hearing Will the real Bobo please stand up? Dom Carr (Bobo (The Otter) AKA Bobo (For a Bite of Cake!) AKA The Real Bobo) obliged and was gunned down

[27 Nov, 12:00 PM] Hydrophobia spreads the feeling to Adam Greig (Robert Cecil AKA Didius Julianus AKA Salman Rushdie AKA Francis Walsingham)

[27 Nov, 12:15 PM] Altair, the mighty assassin, is defeated by the locked door of The Jazz Monkey

[27 Nov, 12:00 PM] Daniel Baker (Santa) came bearing guns to Tithe My Wok who promptly stabbed him for it

New on Friday, 27 November

[27 Nov, 03:46 AM] The Real Bobo has a message for you

[26 Nov, 18:00 PM] Bobo (The otter) gets the jump on Christopher Judge (Rabbit Master)

[26 Nov, 20:30 PM] The Shanatu Shuffle goes looking for The Jazz Monkey again and still can't find him as he's attacking Robert Cecil

[26 Nov, 22:10 PM] Emma Garnett (I wish I hadn't forced the Umpire to make up my pseudonym) is slain by The Mighty Scroggage

[26 Nov, 18:00 PM] The Darkness attempts to enshroud Super-Coryan, Wilson-Shah but misses him

[26 Nov, 10:00 AM] The Shanatu Shuffle lurks for The Jazz Monkey and The Darkness

New on Thursday, 26 November

[25 Nov, 21:00 PM] Robert Cecil goes hunting for Bobo (The Otter) and Rabbit Master but ends up killing Emma Nash (bunnies)

[25 Nov, 19:30 PM] Rabbit Master is betrayed by a friend yet nothing comes of it

[25 Nov, 20:30 PM] Bobo (the Otter) doesn't find The Jazz Monkey

[25 Nov, 19:50 PM] Daniel Baker (NOW I AM BECOME DAN, DESTROYER OF STUFF) has become dead due to Knives

[25 Nov, 13:00 PM] The long-surviving inco Krit Sitathani (Lazar Clarent) finally gets killed by Joshua Guy Blanchard Lewis

[25 Nov, 09:00 AM] Chris Wade (Pinball Wizard) may be good at pinball but he's got nothing on Ninja Pig

[24 Nov, 12:15 PM] Bobo (For a Bite of Cake!) and Severus Snipe raid [UNSPECIFIED COLLEGE] killing Brook Roberts (Unknown AKA A kill a day keeps the chief of police away AKA Trojan horse) and Rupert Rutledge (Pink Fluffy Bunny)

New on Wednesday, 25 November

[24 Nov, 10:30 AM] Altair visits a lot of people but can't find any of them, including Rabbit Master

[24 Nov, 11:00 AM] Captain Charlie hunts for Super-Coryan, Wilson-Shah at his lectures

[24 Nov, 11:50 AM] TidalWave goes looking for Super-Coryan, Wilson-Shah

[24 Nov, 20:45 PM] I don't particularly care for a pseudonym at this point and Severus Snipe make quite the team taking James Hardman (Jack the Ripper Jr) down

[24 Nov, 15:45 PM] Super-Coryan, Wilson-Shah sends Franz Ferdinand out to kill Alefiyah Jafferji (I don't understand what a 'pseudonym' is)

[24 Nov, 17:55 PM] Francis Walsingham attempts to catch Rabbit Master and An Innocent Bystander going for dinner but doesn't see either of them

[24 Nov, 12:00 PM] Trojan horse also attacks Super-Coryan, Wilson-Shah while he was OOB. Much counter attacking ensues.

[24 Nov, 11:40 AM] The Darkness stabs Super-Coryan, Wilson-Shah but he is saved by the amp he is carrying

[24 Nov, 10:00 AM] The vicious wanted criminal Philip Hubbard (An Innocent Bystander AKA Battalions of Bearded Badgers) is stabbed by the police foce's newest recruit I don't particularly care for a pseudonym at this point accompanied by Severus Snipe

New on Tuesday, 24 November

[23 Nov, 08:00 AM] Trojan horse lurks for Rabbit Master and An Innocent Bystander. Unfortunately for Trojan horse the bystander he stabbed was really innocent.

[23 Nov, 12:00 PM] Daniel Baker (Warsaw or the First Breath You Take After You Give Up) practically gives up and gets murdered by Tithe My Wok

[23 Nov, 12:30 PM] Last of the wilds cleans up the police force, killing Michael Darling (you are now breathing manually)

New on Monday, 23 November

[22 Nov, 17:00 PM] Brook Roberts is being hounded by assassins

[22 Nov, 20:00 PM] Super-Coryan Wilson-Shah is being incredibly lame and staying in his room all day.

[23 Nov, 00:00 AM] Bobo (The Otter) shoots Esther Nicoll (Invader) and her doughnuts

[21 Nov, 17:45 PM] Dr. Talos Jabbersocky, A Mesa Trudger goes corrupt by shooting Cataclysm's girlfriend but then shoots straight and kills Matthew Evans (Cataclysm)

[22 Nov, 19:30 PM] An Innocent Bystander goes looking for I don't understand what a 'pseudonym' is and Unknown but settles for shooting an innocent

New on Sunday, 22 November

[20 Nov, 20:00 PM] Bobo (The Otter) finally spots the elusive Serguei Mouratov (The Purge)

[21 Nov, 16:00 PM] Super-Coryan, Wilson-Shah goes wanted for shooting an innocent. Will "More money than sense, but the student loan is due" Brooks is once again in the vicinity, suspicious eh?

[21 Nov, 17:50 PM] Super-Coryan, Wilson-Shah gets the kill required to redeem just 3 more days left. Matthew Hinks (Wildcard) is the unlucky victim.

[21 Nov, 17:20 PM] Several people come to visit Unknown but he is quite the busy man

[21 Nov, 16:10 PM] Severus Snipe goes to visit I don't understand what a 'pseudonym' is, Lindermann and Cataclysm but doesn't manage to harm any of them.

[21 Nov, 23:10 PM] Jamie Gibson (Jazzman) is shot by Ninja Pig when he opened his door.

[21 Nov, 21:25 PM] Peter Jones (Cautionary Tales of Swords) is not sufficiently afraid of knives, being cut down with one by Ninja Pig

[21 Nov, 16:15 PM] Dr. Talos Jabbersocky, A Mesa Trudger meets Franz Ferdinand and together they kill Bibek Mukherjee (Lindermann)

New on Saturday, 21 November

[19 Nov, 19:20 PM] Franz Ferdinand does a bit of assassinating of his own, Jeremy Kneebone (Omar) dies.

[20 Nov, 19:00 PM] William Keen (Count Peduran AKA Doktor Badger-Gherkin) is left floating down the river by The Shanatu Shuffle

[20 Nov, 18:00 PM] Oh dear, another innocent lies dead on the floor. Brook Roberts is the one responsible, while Will "Tigger" Brooks looks on.

[20 Nov, 14:35 PM] Mark Pender-Bare (Heydar the Great) gets shot by Robert Cecil

[19 Nov, 10:00 AM] Nwala tastes the wonderful sweetness of Nathan James (The Amazing Chocolate Orange)'s death

[19 Nov, 13:00 PM] Bobo (The Otter) hunts Lazar Clarent but he is once more nowhere to be seen

New on Friday, 20 November

[19 Nov, 16:00 PM] Tithe My Wok is a busy policeman. He visits The Umpire, you are now breathing manually, The Umpire again, I don't understand what a 'pseudonym' is and Heydar the Great. Unfortunately no-one was around to say hello.

[19 Nov, 17:20 PM] Unspfxable drops a safe on Tithe My Wok but due to the relativistic effects of computer rooms, he managed to survive it.

[19 Nov, 13:30 PM] The Darkness visits a few targets: Omar, Cataclysm and Count Peduran but can't actually find any of them.

[19 Nov, 13:45 PM] Julian Willis (Well, indeed) is killed by a nervous Wildcard.

[19 Nov, 16:45 PM] Johannes Knebel (hans) mistakenly attempts to cull Battalions of Bearded Badgers but they fought back

New on Thursday, 19 November

[18 Nov, 18:30 PM] A Trojan horse is seen in town. Murdoc is not taken in but Roman Sztyler (Rayman AKA Silent Murder) is too gullible

[18 Nov, 15:30 PM] Simon T Abernethy (Horatio T Loins) is killed by Philip Hubbard for the crime of leaving his door unlocked

[17 Nov, 12:05 PM] Lectures are dangerous places indeed, Matt Hathrell (mnkymn) is stabbed by Unknown

New on Wednesday, 18 November

[16 Nov, 20:00 PM] The Purge has a minor fight with Bobo (The Otter)

New on Tuesday, 17 November

[17 Nov, 19:20 PM] Count Peduran, The Amazing Chocolate Orange, Bobo (The Otter) and Unspfxable go searching for Robert Cecil, I don't understand what a 'pseudonym' is and Heydar the Great but don't encounter any of them

[17 Nov, 17:00 PM] Lazar Clarent is prescribed Paracetamoxyfrusebendroneomycin but Lazar Clarent is not in.

[17 Nov, 09:00 AM] The Shanatu Shuffle stabs the smoking hot Hayley Sharp. Smoking hot since she had been thunderbolted on Sunday.

[16 Nov, 19:20 PM] Alasdair Pearce (Nothing Up My Sleeve AKA OMG you killed dumbledore, you muggle! AKA applied philosophy). Severus Snipe takes after his namesake.

[15 Nov, 12:55 PM] Severus Snipe, the ever-efficient policeman, takes down Sophie Reed (Os)

[16 Nov, 21:45 PM] Jack the Ripper Jr is back and Jack McKenna (The Carpenter) feels the bite of his killer spiders.

[16 Nov, 16:30 PM] Salman Rushdie lurks for The Carpenter then misses Nothing Up My Sleeve with an RBG

[13 Nov, 12:00 PM] The Carpenter escapes from lectures unscathed, The Amazing Chocolate Orange and Count Peduran were waiting for him

[16 Nov, 08:30 AM] mnkymn surprises the sleepy Aayushi Sen (yosh)

New on Monday, 16 November

[15 Nov, 14:30 PM] A large assassins waterfight occured on the backs. Dr. Talos Jabbersocky, A Mesa Trudger, Super-Coryan, Wilson-Shah, The Umpire, Last of the wilds, Will "Tigger" Brooks and some other guys shot each other a lot. Much fun was had.

[15 Nov, 20:30 PM] The Darkness swirls around Vermirillion and Lazar Clarent but is unable to see them

[16 Nov, 05:00 AM] Massive thunderbolts are hurled from the sky by the all-powerful Umpire. Alexander Randall (Albino), Hayley Sharp (Vermirillion), Luke Cooper (Toast Boy), Milos Brckalo (Nikolay), P****** O******** (Mindfucker) and Ralph Thompson (killerrabbit) all fall

[15 Nov, 13:45 PM] Last of the wilds just can't find The Amazing Chocolate Orange

[15 Nov, 15:00 PM] An obliging Pink Fluffy Bunny saves Pierre Novellie (The Naughty Bea) from being thunderbolted.

[15 Nov, 00:15 AM] Cautionary Tales of Swords imparts his wisdom to Christopher Milligan (Dr. Chafe)

[14 Nov, 15:50 PM] Severus Snipe kills the inco Andy Georgiou (Tsandys)

New on Sunday, 15 November

[14 Nov, 12:50 PM] Edward Morland (Septimus Hodge) lurks for Wildcard but on his way out dies from an acute case of Hydrophobia

[14 Nov, 15:35 PM] Captain Charlie wants to play with The Naughty Bea but he doesn't want to come out

New on Saturday, 14 November

[14 Nov, 04:34 AM] Jack McKenna and Mark Pender-Bare are both out of cambridge for the weekend

[13 Nov, 23:45 PM] Cataclysm finally gets Richard Hall (Toast) after days of stalking him

[13 Nov, 19:15 PM] Wildcard catches Siobhan Forshaw (The Subtle Trout) out of the water

[10 Nov, 15:15 PM] Silverdevilboy and The Purge look for the incos I don't understand what a 'pseudonym' is, The Carpenter and Heydar the Great

[11 Nov, 19:30 PM] Jack the Ripper Jr tires of ladies of the night and goes to find I don't understand what a 'pseudonym' is, Rabbit Master, Nikolay and Lilly the Pig

New on Friday, 13 November

[13 Nov, 05:01 AM] Claire Gillan (bearded panther) requested to be thunderbolted early, I'm an obliging kind of guy.

[12 Nov, 19:20 PM] The Amazing Chocolate Orange and Count Peduran go looking for the inco The Carpenter but, like everyone before them, cannot find him

[11 Nov, 21:15 PM] Toast is attacked by Cataclysm but only loses an arm

[12 Nov, 20:00 PM] Lindermann takes some time out of his grand plans and tries to find Nikolay but to no avail.

[11 Nov, 20:00 PM] Bobo (The Otter) gets slaughtered at halo but kills two first: Daniel Lucas (Silverdevilboy) and Henry Staples (SPEX). Also shoots at The Purge but misses.

[12 Nov, 13:05 PM] Severus Snipe saves Alan Murray (The Landlord) from being thunderbolted by shooting him.

New on Thursday, 12 November

[10 Nov, 16:30 PM] Tom Duncan had a horrible day, with yet another assassin turning up to kill him. This time Severus Snipe.

[11 Nov, 14:40 PM] The Shanatu Shuffle lurks for Edmund Croft

[11 Nov, 16:40 PM] Dr. Talos Jabbersocky, A Mesa Trudger continues his crusade against incompetence, Paul Jefferson (Lilly the Pig) the victim, but the strain may be taking it's toll on Dr. Talos Jabbersocky, A Mesa Trudger

[11 Nov, 20:00 PM] Dr. Chafe rather enjoys being stopped by The Subtle Trout's door

[10 Nov, 16:50 PM] Murdoc goes looking for Albino, Tsandys and Toast Boy but cannnot find any of them

[10 Nov, 12:45 PM] Tom Duncan (Copper Pipe of Death) dies to ensure A kill a day keeps the chief of police away

New on Wednesday, 11 November

[10 Nov, 18:30 PM] Captain Charlie is desperately trying to clean up the streets of cambridge but it appears The Carpenter doesn't use the streets much.

[4 Nov, 16:45 PM] The Amazing Chocolate Orange and Count Peduran hunt down and kill David Wyndham Keith Cox (The Ninja Panda) and Miharu Obata (Michael Owen). Have we not all wanted to kill Michael Owen at some point.

[10 Nov, 18:00 PM] hans catches Aaron Miles (Neil B Formy) with his door unlocked

New on Tuesday, 10 November

[8 Nov, 15:45 PM] Unknown, TidalWave and a Pink Fluffy Bunny visit Lindermann, The Naughty Bea, Elton John and Manilla Wallett. Dominic Hinkins (Manilla Wallett) was finally in and got shot by TidalWave

[6 Nov, 12:00 PM] Silverdevilboy attempts to locate Robert Cecil and Albino but they remain elusive.

[8 Nov, 18:30 PM] The Blue and Yellow Monster Group loves to be chased, this particular time it is Call me what you will doing the chasing.

[9 Nov, 20:20 PM] Zoah Hedges-Stocks (The Blonde Peril) is slaughtered by Emma Nash

[9 Nov, 19:05 PM] Christian Harrington (Tetsuo) gets a blade between the ribs from Franz Ferdinand

[9 Nov, 19:50 PM] Gareth Tear (Bob the Builder) is killed by a Ninja Pig. On a completely unrelated note, today has been declared a national holiday.

[9 Nov, 14:00 PM] Salman Rushdie fails to meet Vermirillion and Nothing Up My Sleeve

[9 Nov, 13:20 PM] Margie takes Laurie Griffiths (Irene Adler) out at lunch

[9 Nov, 15:30 PM] mnkymn continues trying to keep Girton inco-free. yosh was out but he killed Sean Hewitt (esion the great)

[9 Nov, 09:00 AM] Neil B Formy attempts to find The Jazz Monkey, An Innocent Bystander and The Blonde Peril but is thwarted by locked doors

New on Monday, 9 November

[8 Nov, 21:40 PM] Timothy Kew (Call me what you will) kills Hester Thorneycroft (Bellatrix Lestrange(r)) but is simultaneously stabbed in the back by Count Peduran

[8 Nov, 18:10 PM] Unspfxable is yet another person who visited Manilla Wallett and Elton John. Manilla Wallett was dead by this point and Rebecca Palmer (Elton John) was killed by Unspfxable

[8 Nov, 15:30 PM] An Innocent Bystander innocently wanders around the abodes of Manilla Wallett, Elton John, Toast and Horatio T Loins but no-one wanted to even talk to him.

[8 Nov, 13:50 PM] David Turner (Arundel) pops his head out to see if there are any assassins about and it is promptly shot to pieces by Silent Murder

[8 Nov, 13:00 PM] applied philosophy visits Elton John who is out and Manilla Wallett who is saved by the matrix

[7 Nov, 18:30 PM] Call me what you will helps out Neil B Formy and stabs Christopher Powell (The ninja pirate monkey (also a zombie)) for bearing

New on Sunday, 8 November

[5 Nov, 18:00 PM] Pinball Wizard slaughtered Chris Hands (The Ghost of the Essence of Youth and Childhood). Quite how you murder The Ghost of the Essence of Youth and Childhood, I'm not sure.

[7 Nov, 18:40 PM] Another police raid, another dead inco. Joe Waldron (Eagle Eye) is stabbed by Severus Snipe

[8 Nov, 05:49 AM] Amy Buchanan-Hughes (Dream cheese resigns due to having caught flu.

[8 Nov, 00:00 AM] The wanted assassin Tomas Kesek (Xezbeth) is taken down by Omar

[7 Nov, 20:45 PM] applied philosophy attempts to find An Innocent Bystander in cambridge, he's going to have some trouble there.

[7 Nov, 17:50 PM] A double kill occurred. Alexander Lodge (Galois) and Nye Redman-White (Luchas AKA The hero formerly known as Kaukomieli AKA Dick Turpentine) both die

[6 Nov, 16:00 PM] Severus Snipe cleans up the force, killing Peter William Hatfield (Nickhead)

[7 Nov, 08:45 AM] Zoe Holder (Big Dave) falls to Silent Murder

New on Saturday, 7 November

[6 Nov, 13:20 PM] The Purge needs to urgently repair his RBG but can't find The Carpenter

[5 Nov, 18:00 PM] A Wildcard gets past college security only to find The Purge is not in.

[6 Nov, 13:00 PM] Wildcard can't find The Purge at lectures either. Where does he spend his time?

[6 Nov, 12:15 PM] mnkymn goes to see bunnies and Os but is not admitted

[6 Nov, 00:30 AM] Julian Willis (Poison For Legs) attempts to remove the corrupt Dr. Talos Jabbersocky, A Mesa Trudger from the police ranks but only ends up dying.

[5 Nov, 18:00 PM] Poison For Legs tries to assassinate an incompetent corpse, Miharu Obata

[4 Nov, 13:00 PM] Luchas butchers a Malithi Hennayake (Baby Gorilla)

New on Friday, 6 November

[5 Nov, 15:30 PM] The Blue and Yellow Monster Group shot Dr. Talos Jabbersocky, A Mesa Trudger, Super-Coryan, Wilson-Shah and The Umpire. But everything was fine as we were all OOB.

[5 Nov, 13:00 PM] Altair shoots the Templar Prateush Singh (chocolate bear)

[5 Nov, 20:00 PM] Aaron Barker (The Jam Sandwich (of death)) is dealt with by The Shanatu Shuffle

[5 Nov, 18:05 PM] Yuan Zhang ('-_-')'s dinner plans were rudely interrupted by Cataclysm

New on Thursday, 5 November

[5 Nov, 17:00 PM] Jack Euesden (Jay) is eliminated by The Subtle Trout

[5 Nov, 13:40 PM] Knives continues the war on incompetence, visiting Baby Gorilla and Big Dave. He has obviously not seen the new laws on Fiona Berreby (Fox) hunting.

[4 Nov, 19:30 PM] Jack the Ripper Jr persists in his attempts to clean up the streets of cambridge, Krishan Changela (Ryback) falls.

[4 Nov, 17:25 PM] Yet another Police raid, led by Severus Snipe. Only one inco was killed by cambridge's finest. Chris Hutchinson (Alberto Balsam) shot by Ninja Pig

[4 Nov, 18:45 PM] Xezbeth is overcome with grief at the death of his comrades and takes revenge on Brian Premchand (bah), going wanted in the process.

[4 Nov, 17:20 PM] Jack the Ripper Jr takes a break from his usual activities and takes a piece of Tom Partington (Mango)

[4 Nov, 12:00 PM] Severus Snipe is completely unfazed by Roseanna Pendlebury (The Phantom Tollbooth) and shoots her

[3 Nov, 21:10 PM] Bobo (The Otter) ambushes Jennifer Lynn VanAusdall (Jennifer's Body) and gets her wet.

[4 Nov, 11:55 AM] James Brister (Legrange does it with the least action) is reduced to no action after being shot by Septimus Hodge

New on Wednesday, 4 November

[4 Nov, 01:53 AM] Another person resigns: Chris Ramsden (Gordius) this time

[3 Nov, 21:00 PM] Xezbeth attacked the day-old corpse of Rosalyn Buckland

[3 Nov, 13:50 PM] Didius Julianus earns an Merlin Evans (M.Fail)

[3 Nov, 12:00 PM] Ashley Chadwick (Carlsberg don't do Assassins, but if they did, they probably would have already been killed by me) is eliminated outside lectures by Lilly the Pig

[2 Nov, 10:00 AM] Foysol Miah (YEAH BUDDAY!) is viciously murdered by a Pink Fluffy Bunny

New on Tuesday, 3 November

[2 Nov, 22:00 PM] Kiriakos Shiarli (Kikos) is mown down by Severus Snipe

[2 Nov, 17:00 PM] Cataclysm goes hunting but only finds the corpse of Alice-andrea Ewing and no Michael Owen

[2 Nov, 17:30 PM] The police go on a raid. Incos beware.

[2 Nov, 19:30 PM] Carlsberg don't do Assassins, but if they did, they probably would have already been killed by me's killer pigs feast upon the corpse of Harry Robinson

[2 Nov, 13:15 PM] Didius Julianus discovers Stephen Tordoff is (Grateful Dead)

[2 Nov, 11:00 AM] Murdoc catches Harry Robinson in (An Inconvenient Lie)

[2 Nov, 11:00 AM] Neil B Formy pays a visit to The Jazz Monkey, An Innocent Bystander and The Blonde Peril but they weren't in.

[2 Nov, 11:00 AM] Os kills Alice-andrea Ewing (The Flump)

[1 Nov, 12:15 PM] mnkymn finishes off the Girton incos, Benjamin James Webb (The Mysterious Mason), Nicholas Farandos (Altaiir).

[1 Nov, 11:40 AM] mnkymn helps with incobashing. Cameron Stocks (Lorenzini 'The Stilletto' Macnief), Eleanor Catherine Richards (Enid), Pavel Kantchev (Bigmelons Law), Sophie Norman (Care Bear) and Thomas O'Pray (Drunken T) all die by his hand.

[1 Nov, 12:15 PM] Rabbit Master attempts to clear up the girton incos, Benjamin James Webb , Eleanor Catherine Richards, mnkymn and Pavel Kantchev without knowing most of them are dead

New on Monday, 2 November

[31 Oct, 12:00 PM] The Incobash happened, lol occured.

[30 Oct, 18:15 PM] Michael Darling (Marco) sticks up for his friend Ventura but ends up double killing with Emma Garnett (Grey eyes)

[30 Oct, 17:00 PM] Cautionary Tales of Swords fully recovered from his brush with death yesterday, tracked down his would be murderer, Robin McConnell (Loremaster) and got revenge

[29 Oct, 18:45 PM] Alex Rossides (Stabby McStabbin) learns that guns > knives, shot by Count Peduran

[30 Oct, 12:00 PM] Assassins are queuing up to be killed by Nwala. Craig Newbold (Terry Moss), Julian Parmar (The Man with the Striped Banana) and Rowena Paren (Grey) all die.

[1 Nov, 16:00 PM] The Darkness settled over Jack Arthur Roberts (Badger)

[1 Nov, 18:50 PM] The Blonde Peril has no Sally Higson (Sympathy for Old Girl)

[1 Nov, 18:00 PM] applied philosophy shoots David John Frederick Brooks (Big Dave)

[31 Oct, 14:45 PM] Horatio T Loins sneaks up on the incobash and shoots Daniel Gregory Wallace O'Brien (Captain "Fabulous" Falcon)

[30 Oct, 14:20 PM] Nick Eames (The BFG) was killed in Selwyn but no-one has actually claimed the kill

[1 Nov, 06:15 AM] Severus Snipe had a busy day, killing Joseph Myer Sanderson (Advocatus Diaboli), Tom Bettany (The Shadow), Malcolm Perry (Tarquin)

[30 Oct, 13:00 PM] Bobo (The Otter) goes to look for Jennifer's Body but is unable to find the right spot

[1 Nov, 14:45 PM] Lise McNally (S.A.L.O) is killed by a Badger for being incompetent

[1 Nov, 13:20 PM] Paracetamoxyfrusebendroneomycin is pehaps not as safe as first believed. James Kellett (Jack Colt) is killed by Paracetamoxyfrusebendroneomycin

[1 Nov, 12:40 PM] Arundel attempts to backstab Clare Bernstein but stabs only a corpse.

[1 Nov, 12:30 PM] Rayman shoots Clare Bernstein (X^Y) with a banana gun.

[31 Oct, 12:30 PM] Has no-one ever tried shooting ringwraiths with water pistols. Apparently it's quite effective yosh kills Eleanor Dickinson (Neon Ringwraith)

[31 Oct, 18:00 PM] Ben Strak (I See You) does not manage to spot Severus Snipe

[1 Nov, 11:00 AM] Max 'Murdered' (Jhim) learns not to trust anybody. Rayman kills him.

New on Sunday, 1 November

[1 Nov, 05:01 AM] James Barwise (Hangonaminute...) resigns from the game

[31 Oct, 19:30 PM] While incobashing, Robert Cecil stops off to kill one of his targets: Pip Ash (Ventura)

[31 Oct, 17:15 PM] Jeff Carpenter (Shluf) so nearly avoids the incobash but is shot by Severus Snipe

[31 Oct, 22:15 PM] Oh, look! An inco! spots an incompetent Peter Hereward David McGibbon (grey squirrel)

[31 Oct, 22:20 PM] Faced with the prospect of the Unknown on Halloween, William Kenyon (abacathoo) dies.

[30 Oct, 19:10 PM] Irene Adler calmly dispatches Amanda Hadkiss (Teresa Green)

[31 Oct, 13:30 PM] Matvey Soloviev (1 in 3 students are a victim of crime. Don't let it be you!) is a victim of murder, killed by SPEX

[31 Oct, 10:10 AM] Rayman shoots Nick Fitzpatrick's corpse due to not reading his emails, then kills his current target Jack Jackson (Scubbo)

[30 Oct, 16:30 PM] Silverdevilboy and The Purge visit a few people but are defeated by the locked doors of Robert Cecil and MENSA.

[31 Oct, 09:00 AM] He is the one. He defeated Christopher O'Sullivan-Duffy (AgentSmyth). He is Jazzman.

New on Saturday, 31 October

[30 Oct, 23:50 PM] Assassins are everywhere, even in cinemas. Scubbo stabs James Latter (Beanster)

[30 Oct, 11:00 AM] The CoP takes down another wanted criminal, Shubnit Bhumbra (Dr Zeus)

[31 Oct, 08:04 AM] Some more people resigning. Charles Reith (Mr Darcy), Erroll William Wood (someone who wishes to remain anonymous), Karin Bergvall ("Steve")

[31 Oct, 01:00 AM] Halloween parties make for good assassins reports. Jatinder Singh Sahota (MooHead) dressed as a mummy is shot by Jay the Oompa Loompa

[30 Oct, 12:30 PM] Another person wishing to remain competent. Gordius visits Ryback and Wildcard.

[31 Oct, 07:55 AM] Christopher Milligan is out of cambridge for the weekend

[30 Oct, 23:55 PM] The Carpenter encourages Alice Coburn (22135)'s door to open.

[30 Oct, 23:30 PM] Christopher Wells (Elser) believed that assassins don't come out at night. Where do these people get their ideas? Galois sets him straight.

[30 Oct, 20:30 PM] Bob the Builder hits Rachel Purdon (TwiceAsNiceAsMice) with a skyscraper

[30 Oct, 19:30 PM] Wildcard goes hunting for X^Y and Scubbo but doesn't find them

[30 Oct, 17:30 PM] The hero formerly known as Kaukomieli is unable to find Galois and MENSA

[30 Oct, 18:00 PM] Eagle Eye does not experience a Cataclysm

[30 Oct, 12:05 PM] Appearing on University Challenge may seriously damage your health. A point proved by Alexander Guttenplan (The Man With Absolute Motion) killed by MooHead

[30 Oct, 17:00 PM] It's guy love... between two guys. Only this time chocolate bear murders Vinaya Sriangam (mediclove)

[30 Oct, 15:45 PM] Pigs will fly before David Clarke (Roboto De Disastre AKA bladey) gets killed. Carlsberg don't do Assassins, but if they did, they probably would have already been killed by me was the killer.

[30 Oct, 15:50 PM] Everybody should avoid spiders, especially when being thrown at you. Like Jack the Ripper Jr did to William Morland (Philemon).

[30 Oct, 12:55 PM] The undead are walking again, but The ninja pirate monkey (also a zombie) can't find a Black Badger to flail at

[30 Oct, 14:00 PM] Felix Wood (Philip Woodley) doesn't enjoy Jennifer's Body

[29 Oct, 11:30 AM] Loremaster failed to read the rules properly, so fate intervened preventing him from killing Cautionary Tales of Swords

[30 Oct, 08:45 AM] An Innocent Bystander goes wandering around cambridge again, visiting The Ninja Panda who is TwiceAsNiceAsMice

[31 Oct, 06:10 AM] Matthew Evans is out of town until the 2nd.

New on Friday, 30 October

[29 Oct, 23:59 PM] Another day, another set of people realising they're too busy / too paranoid / too lame to play any more. Beth Peters (betty3), Dominic de'Ath (Domdeath), James Forbes-King (pokemon trainer), Max Menzies (Ken Adams) all resign.

[29 Oct, 22:12 PM] A warning message from Rowena Paren.

[29 Oct, 21:30 PM] bah is visited by Nothing Up My Sleeve. Nothing much happens.

[29 Oct, 17:20 PM] esion the great decides he'll have a bit of Anna Goldenberg (Apfelstrudel)

[29 Oct, 14:40 PM] Another assassin dies as a direct result of laundry. Luchas stabs Daniel Baker (the Nesquik Assassin)

[29 Oct, 13:20 PM] Justin Esau (Silent) is killed by someone TwiceAsNiceAsMice

[29 Oct, 17:20 PM] Manilla Wallett takes the novel approach of leaving the door unlocked and still kills Christoph Straeter (paradoxon)

[29 Oct, 15:20 PM] A suspicious amnesty cold caller, Toast, visits David Turner

[28 Oct, 17:00 PM] Arundel goes in search of The Amazing Chocolate Orange but the search is fruitless.

[28 Oct, 13:56 PM] Robert Cecil culls the Michael Sargent (Riff-Raff)

[27 Oct, 15:45 PM] Jack Daniel Vulcan Oxley (Mulciber) is slain by Riff-Raff

[29 Oct, 13:30 PM] Stuart Alexander Burns (C. Montgomery) is unable to keep up with The Shanatu Shuffle

New on Thursday, 29 October

[28 Oct, 20:00 PM] Shubnit Bhumbra visits all his targets hans, Toast, and '-_-', meets none of them but does kill an innocent.

[28 Oct, 10:00 AM] It's not quiet enough for Silent, 2 assassins knocked on his door.

[28 Oct, 10:30 AM] Cambridge's llamas are safe once more. Nick Fitzpatrick (The Llama Pirate) is killed by hans

[28 Oct, 12:00 PM] Chris Wade had a really bad day. Cataclysm is the third person to stab him in as many hours.

[28 Oct, 16:30 PM] An Assassin visits Luchas while he is out.

[28 Oct, 10:00 AM] Let all prospective criminals hear. Our police force is not to be messed with. Poison For Legs kills Robert Andrew Sullivan (Crate of Sharks)

[28 Oct, 12:48 PM] We've managed to scare some more off. Alex Karmazyn (Brunel) and Ricky Jones (Macros the Black) resign.

[28 Oct, 18:20 PM] An encounter for the connoisseurs. Dream cheese vs Michael Williamson (the lobster).

[28 Oct, 14:00 PM] Unknown, Heydar the Great and Pink Fluffy Bunny go for an assassins trip out. They only meet a corpse.

[26 Oct, 20:20 PM] A Crate of Sharks is unleashed in sainsburys, Emily Scragg (Rain) and Joshua Guy Blanchard Lewis (Ooh Tigger, ooh Tigger, ooh Tigger) are killed. Wildcard watches in amusement.

[28 Oct, 16:35 PM] An Innocent Bystander hangs out at The Ninja Panda's abode.

[28 Oct, 12:00 PM] Paul Jarvis (Jack's Uncle) discovers it is right to fear the Unknown

[28 Oct, 12:45 PM] The Jazz Monkey upsets children everywhere by slaughtering beloved author Sean Tull (Hans Christian Andersen)

[28 Oct, 11:00 AM] ... paper beats rock and The Subtle Trout beats Jake Harris (The Jakehammer)

[28 Oct, 12:15 PM] Rabbit Master refuses to display his powers, electing to knife Thomas James Kirkwood (Withnail)

[28 Oct, 10:00 AM] Just to make sure, The Darkness mutilates Absum's corpse

[27 Oct, 18:50 PM] Luchas encounters a well armed Irene Adler and goes off to nom on Paddy Orchard (mrpasta)

[28 Oct, 08:47 AM] Another wanted criminal dealt with by our ultra-efficient police force. Ninja Pig kills Chris Wade (Absum).

[27 Oct, 18:20 PM] Murdoc shot down the gun-toting Sebastian John (The Flying Space Monkeys)

New on Wednesday, 28 October

[27 Oct, 14:00 PM] Theo Sanderson (Vaguely like a nym) gets double teamed by The Amazing Chocolate Orange and Count Peduran

[27 Oct, 13:00 PM] Xezbeth eats a Richard Cole (Biscuit). Om nom nom.

[27 Oct, 17:40 PM] Irene Adler surprises Thomas Bytheway (SurpriseBobcat) with a big gun

[27 Oct, 14:30 PM] Devon Buchanan (Nephron) learns even laundry is a dangerous activity for an assassin. Elser was the killer.

[27 Oct, 10:15 AM] The Darkness wishes to join MENSA but can't find him anywhere.

[27 Oct, 08:50 AM] Murdoc goes grey squirrel hunting and discovers they're harder to find than foxes

[26 Oct, 23:30 PM] Riff-Raff and Call me what you will tour cambridge and find nobody.

[25 Oct, 15:30 PM] 22135 - bombs dropped and they missed Cous-cous.

New on Tuesday, 27 October

[25 Oct, 00:00 AM] Chris Wade kills Shluf illegally.

[26 Oct, 17:50 PM] The wanted criminal Hester Thorneycroft (Nessa Cavilihr) is dispatched by our ruthless Head of The Department of Magical Law Enforcement, Dr. Talos Jabbersocky, A Mesa Trudger.

[26 Oct, 17:30 PM] Ooh Tigger, ooh Tigger, ooh Tigger shoots his weapon at Emily Cottrell (Shirley Knott)

[26 Oct, 13:10 PM] Konrad Wagstyl (conman) isn't tricky enough, Roboto De Disastre kills him in hall.

[26 Oct, 16:00 PM] Nothing Up My Sleeve used some more magic and conjured Luke Sharpin (Father McGruder)'s corpse.

[25 Oct, 17:00 PM] Lilly the Pig has trouble opening locked doors. Boris Johnson, Mayor of Death and the lobster remain safe.

[26 Oct, 10:55 AM] Matthew Peck (Helmet Guy) falls foul of a Cataclysm

[25 Oct, 20:30 PM] A skirmish occurs. Hester Thorneycroft, The Amazing Chocolate Orange and Count Peduran kill Neal Carr (Dragonfly), Peter William Hatfield (Mr Moore) and an innocent

[26 Oct, 12:40 PM] Scrubs triumphs over historical drama. chocolate bear stabs Joseph Guy Briggs (Sir Robin).

[25 Oct, 10:30 AM] David Clarke attempts to surprise a conman but fails.

New on Monday, 26 October

[25 Oct, 19:10 PM] Big Dave enjoys killing Yarden Brody (Sali Dali) rather too much.

[25 Oct, 20:25 PM] Alex Bower (Orlando Boom) and Palika Bhasin (Awkward Palmtree) make the rookie mistake of believing a door is the only exit. bah stabs them both in the back.

[25 Oct, 20:30 PM] Have you ever noticed, it's the little things that are most dangerous. Caroline Jane Clark (Mr Pink) killed by bunnies

[25 Oct, 20:40 PM] Lazar Clarent does a bit of god-slaying. Evis Charalambous (Zeus) falls.

[25 Oct, 19:00 PM] Climate change is real. Chloe Ursula Wallis (Pseudy Pseu) killed by Rain

[25 Oct, 16:30 PM] Luchas is hungry and goes looking for mrpasta

[25 Oct, 15:40 PM] An Innocent Bystander is out in cambridge

[25 Oct, 12:31 PM] Pradeepa Sivasanthiran (RuinedPuzzle) resigns from the game

[25 Oct, 14:55 PM] Roboto De Disastre enters David Marc Jones (The Manic Moleman)'s den and stabs him.

New on Sunday, 25 October

[24 Oct, 18:10 PM] Another player guilty of opening their door, another corpse. Paul Butcher (asdf123) shot by Sali Dali

[23 Oct, 20:20 PM] Emma Kudzin (Ray Sersharpe) and Sophie Drummond (Lady Nightstalker) team up but both die. YEAH BUDDAY!

[24 Oct, 15:45 PM] Allowing Dragonflys to cut your arm earns you an M.Fail

[24 Oct, 13:15 PM] A game of cat and mouse ends up with Daniel Turner (Black Badger) dying. Neil B Formy the victor.

[24 Oct, 14:50 PM] Omar does what the vietnamese, russians and hillbilly sheriffs could not. James Philip Robert Tiffin (Rambo) dies.

[24 Oct, 13:00 PM] The president has been saved! Katherine Gammie (Inhabitant of one grassy knoll) taken down by the Nesquik Assassin

[23 Oct, 23:00 PM] James Hollingshead (Tanglefoot) got entangled with cross-dressing The Jam Sandwich (of death)

[24 Oct, 10:15 AM] Count Peduran crushed Mubdiu Reza Chowdhury (imarock)

[23 Oct, 19:00 PM] Andrew Edgar (The Fat Man) ate too much of Bobo (The Otter)

New on Saturday, 24 October

[23 Oct, 15:50 PM] The corpse mutilation begins! Rambo pays Thomas Craig Hodgson's grave a visit.

[23 Oct, 10:30 AM] Alexander Potts (Eric Fletcher) fails to lock his door and dies to Robert Cecil

[23 Oct, 22:00 PM] Marco killed Daniel Jay Davies (Kindness)

[23 Oct, 17:06 PM] Timothy Waters (Niccolo Machiavelli) is not sufficiently Machiavellian and is stabbed by a Baby Gorilla

[23 Oct, 18:20 PM] Septimus Hodge destroys Mason Robert Edwards (Divinity)

[23 Oct, 11:00 AM] Luchas runs away...

[23 Oct, 16:00 PM] Julian Willis (Rohypnol perpetuality) is ended by Silent

[23 Oct, 16:00 PM] Elizabeth Robinshaw (Red Squirrel) not cautious enough and gets her head blown off by Arundel

[23 Oct, 11:00 AM] Robert Cecil has a busy morning. Edward West (I'm going in for the pill, Im doing it cos I'm ill...) is the next to die.

[23 Oct, 14:00 PM] Nothing Up My Sleeve did, in fact, have an RBG up his sleeve and shot Thomas Craig Hodgson (Vladimir Killov)

[23 Oct, 10:20 AM] Charlie Schoonman (the anatidaephobic one) falls victim to Roboto De Disastre

[23 Oct, 12:00 PM] the Nesquik Assassin banged Emma Clegg (Satsuma La Roux)

[23 Oct, 13:00 PM] Chris Hands (I just lost the game) continued being a tard and was shot by The ninja pirate monkey (also a zombie)

[23 Oct, 13:01 PM] Joe Reed (The Emperor's fist) is no match for The Darkness

[22 Oct, 18:00 PM] Nessa Cavilihr broke a Samuel James Walker (Heartbreaker)

New on Friday, 23 October

[22 Oct, 21:35 PM] David Piggott (Mr. Brightside) failed to kill M.Fail, failed so much in fact that he died.

[23 Oct, 00:30 AM] Riff-Raff killed Esther Nicoll (Paff)

[22 Oct, 23:30 PM] Ventura shot Hannah Kirklin (mzbalsamic)

[22 Oct, 22:29 PM] Irene Adler attempted to lure SurpriseBobcat from his lair

[22 Oct, 23:30 PM] Marco set off a Jamie Gibson (Rocket Baby)

[22 Oct, 19:00 PM] Dr Zeus found a Sophie Catt (John Doe) but could not revive her.

New on Thursday, 22 October

[22 Oct, 13:00 PM] The ninja pirate monkey (also a zombie) ran away and I just lost the game

[22 Oct, 08:54 AM] Caroline Tanner (In cambridge, no-one can hear you scream), especially when shot by Murdoc

[22 Oct, 08:45 AM] The Jazz Monkey stabbed Richard Digby (... really can't think of anything!)

[22 Oct, 08:33 AM] Warren Hochfeld (Pablo Escobar) retired from the game

[22 Oct, 14:20 PM] Philemon brutally splattered Paul Stanyon (The Malevolent Tortoise). Someone call the RSPCA.

The Assassins' Guild - Updates

New on Tuesday, 1 December