The Assassins' Guild - Stats| Position | Real Name | Pseudonym | Number of Kills | Conkers Score |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Joshua 'The Duke' Blanchard Lewis | Michelle AKA The ITV News AKA The Penguin AKA PIE! AKA X AKA I'M Richard Gibson AKA Dyeduska Vodyanoy AKA The Grue AKA The 'Other' Duke AKA Bjorn Again AKA The Nuke AKA You say you want a Revolution? | 23 | 76 |
| 2 | Emily Scragg | arva | 3 | 4 |
| 3 | Rupert Rutledge | Holmes AKA Quincy Jones | 2 | 14 |
| 4 | Bethany English | ScienceFictionDoubleFeature | 0 | 0 |
| 5 | Serguei Mouratov | The Soviet Samurai | 1 | 1 |
| 6 | Dominic Carr | Elfboy AKA NINJA Elfboy | 4 | 11 |
| 7 | Henry R. B. Duke | Black Eyed Pete | 1 | 1 |
| 8 | Gordon Levine | Saturn AKA Orfeo | 4 | 7 |
| 9 | Ashley Chadwick | The Knight who say Ni | 1 | 1 |
| 10 | Robert Bell | Ernesto | 0 | 0 |
| 11 | Adina Judy Bernstein | Isha | 0 | 0 |
| 12 | Philip Hubbard | The BBC News AKA Sir Lai Xi | 2 | 4 |
| 13 | Nadia Shahanara Islam | Richard "Solvent Insurer" Gibson | 0 | 0 |
| 14 | Rich Miller | Banana Flavour | 1 | 1 |
| 15 | Alice Draper | Marvin | 0 | 0 |
| 16 | Christopher Powell | You got Sarge'd | 2 | 2 |
| 17 | Alasdair Wilkins | Jimbob Jones AKA l33t-girl888 | 4 | 13 |
| 17 | Brook Roberts | Sheepish AKA I pwn n00bs AKA The Last Biscuit | 5 | 7 |
| 19 | Christopher Milligan | suckmyrocket | 0 | 0 |
| 20 | Shantanu Kafle | The Unsubtle Menace | 0 | 0 |
| 21 | Oliver Timmis | Lionheart | 0 | 0 |
| 22 | Mary Fortune | Sidhe | 1 | 1 |
| 23 | James Brister | Baroque Obama | 1 | 4 |
| 24 | Simon Taylor | Lord Erebus | 0 | 0 |
| 25 | Carol Sparke | Cogito Ergo Femina Sum | 0 | 0 |
| 26 | Daniel O'Brien | Richard Paul Astley | 0 | 0 |
| 27 | Yuan Cao Zhang | latent electricity | 0 | 0 |
| 28 | Dominic Hinkins | The Avuncular Troglodyte | 1 | 1 |
| 29 | Benjamin Huw Gibson | Cupcake | 0 | 0 |
| 30 | Jack William Matthew Jackson | Rhymnocerous | 0 | 0 |
| 31 | Karoliina Lehtinen | Magnet | 0 | 0 |
| 32 | Jessica Donnithorne | Dora the explorer | 1 | 1 |
| 33 | Giles Fleming | Mr Scrub | 1 | 1 |
| 34 | Anthony Yong Kheng Cordero Ng | Bruce Lee | 0 | 0 |
| 35 | Lauren Withall | Lethal Llama | 0 | 0 |
| 36 | Caroline Tecks | Panthunter | 0 | 0 |
| 37 | Merlin Evans | USING ALL CAPS MAKES ME FEEL POWERFUL | 0 | 0 |
| 38 | Matt Taylor | Grubberlang | 0 | 0 |
| 39 | Stephen Tordoff | MrF | 0 | 0 |
| 40 | KT Bosse-Foy | Robot in Disguise | 0 | 0 |
| 41 | Alexander Scott | Prometheus | 1 | 1 |
| 42 | Jimmy Bost | Biceps Femoris | 0 | 0 |
| 43 | Mukund Kanoria | Kundi | 0 | 0 |
| 44 | Kai Van Duuren | Half-dutch | 0 | 0 |
| 45 | Parin Shah | Donkey Oaty | 0 | 0 |
| 45 | Bibek Mukherjee | Hercule Poirot | 0 | 0 |
| 47 | Jacob Wills | Beef Tea | 0 | 0 |
| 48 | Allie Rinck | ink | 0 | 0 |
| 49 | Kaifei Yu | never ending night | 0 | 0 |
| 50 | Luke Sharpin | Kluke | 0 | 0 |
| 51 | Tanuj Bhojwani | Sulphane | 0 | 0 |
| 52 | Todd Davidson | Capital T | 0 | 0 |
| 53 | Matthew Yates | Ali Dia | 0 | 0 |
| 54 | Tushar Dabral | Alcohilic | 0 | 0 |
| 54 | Jonah Hill | Meg | 0 | 0 |
| 54 | Leo Scott | Ginge | 0 | 0 |
| 57 | Sam Atkinson | Professor Challenger found the lost world, and then he | 0 | 0 |
| 58 | Malachy Gerard Higgins | The Joker | 2 | 3 |
| 59 | Anthony Price | What she said | 1 | 1 |
| 59 | James Wilkinson Barwise | Albi The Racist | 1 | 2 |
| 61 | Julie Chan | knawit | 0 | 0 |
| 62 | John Shirley | grasshopper | 0 | 0 |
| 63 | William P Brooks | I have no need of a pseudonym because I am going wanted (low redemption conditions please!) | 3 | 3 |
| 64 | Joseph Reed | If it moves T#%T it | 2 | 9 |
| 65 | Adam S.Backer | Dan The Garbage Man | 0 | 0 |
| 66 | Matthew Evans | last rites | 1 | 1 |
| 67 | Foysol Miah | With karate I'll kick your ass, from here to right over there | 0 | 0 |
| 67 | Coryan Wilson-Shah | NO PIE?! | 6 | 6 |
| 69 | Theo Sanderson | Inflatable Mongoose | 0 | 0 |
| 70 | Alex Guttenplan | Philby | 0 | 0 |
| 71 | Harry Robinson | That was unexpected... | 0 | 0 |
| 72 | Thomas Alexander | This IS a gun in my pocket! | 0 | 0 |
| 73 | Luke James Montgomery Robins | The Author | 1 | 1 |
| 74 | Yi Luo | Screaming Dove | 0 | 0 |
| 75 | Adam Morgan | Peregrine | 0 | 0 |
| 76 | Robert Rivera | Shadowgerbil | 0 | 0 |
| 77 | Thomas Martin Prince | The Artist | 0 | 0 |
| 78 | Alicia Danks | wywwy | 3 | 3 |
| 78 | Matt Hickford | dr -NIM | 0 | 0 |
| 80 | Andrew Hobson | The Antagonised Ape | 0 | 0 |
| 81 | Adam Guterres | Seafarer Attic Butler King | 1 | 1 |
| 82 | Jamie Goodland | Flash Kong | 0 | 0 |
| 82 | Jane Aston | Turnus | 0 | 0 |
| 84 | Harry Steggles | The Muffin Man | 2 | 3 |
| 85 | Harry Huang | Peter Duffett-Smith | 0 | 0 |
| 86 | Ben Gadsby | Josie Mitchell | 1 | 1 |
| 86 | Joachim Cassel | diavolo abile | 1 | 1 |
| 88 | Chris Hands | Touch of Pink | 0 | 0 |
| 89 | Paul Tinton | General Evil | 1 | 1 |
| 89 | David Reid | Sicarius Clandestinus | 0 | 0 |
| 91 | Michael McCulloch | Scotty | 0 | 0 |
| 92 | Elaine Oliver | mojito | 0 | 0 |
| 93 | Netta Chachamu | the muffin man | 0 | 0 |
| 94 | Mark Pendar-Bare | Heydar | 0 | 0 |
| 94 | Charlie Schoonman | some loathsome individual whose name is not worth mentioning | 0 | 0 |
| 96 | Duncan Stibbard Hawkes | Pain in the Assassin | 0 | 0 |
| 96 | Daniel Peckham | The fireman | 0 | 0 |
| 98 | Jeremy Kneebone | Artichoke | 0 | 0 |
| 99 | Oliver Dominik Caspari | Gabriel Otto Dwarfsmith | 0 | 0 |
| 100 | William Warman | Nightjar | 0 | 0 |
| 101 | Jonathan David Benwell | The Cameraman | 1 | 2 |
| 101 | Aaron Barker | a small child | 2 | 4 |
| 101 | Jonathan Marten | The Dread Pirate LeChuck | 0 | 0 |
| 104 | Francis Bleibel | blue | 0 | 0 |
| 105 | Steven John | Rorschach | 0 | 0 |
| 106 | Jack Oyston | The Evil Weevil | 0 | 0 |
| 107 | Nicholas Fullerton | Gilgamesh | 0 | 0 |
| 108 | Edward Ignatius Morland | Jaqen H'ghar | 0 | 0 |
| 108 | Roseanna Pendlebury | The Poultrygeist | 0 | 0 |
| 110 | Evelyn Brockmann | Charlotte Corday | 0 | 0 |
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