Cloak & Dagger The Assassins' Guild - Week 2 News

Saturday, 7 February

[15:00 PM] Black Eyed Pete's lack of booty is beginning to frustrate him, all he sees are corpses!
Black Eyed Pete reports:

I'm so frustrated that I can't be bothered to write this in the third person! SO here we go. This afternoon I decided to try and shorten the list some. I picked a few names and set off. My first stop was Trinity Hall where I found Jessica Donnithorne in her room when I walked in and shot her. She greeted me with "but I'm already dead!" so I appologised and we exchanged pleasantries before I left.

Next I went to find Saturn. Found [UNSPECIFIED_ADDRESS] and knocked but the crafty gent used the frosted glass panel in the door to see that I probably wasn't a social caller and he wouldn't open the door. I left swiftly before he decided to arm himself and come after me.

Finally made a call to Jack William Matthew Jackson, knocked on his door but there was no answer. Slipped a note under the door and, on hearing 2 of his flatmates down the corridor, went to have a chat with them. Neither of them knew where he was but one of them was kind enough to give me his phone number. Upon leaving, I gave him a call to confirm that the number was his and he informed me that he too had already fallen.

At this point I decided to call it a day so did some shopping and came home.

Sunday, 8 February

[10:40 AM] The Knight who say Ni wants to flsuh away some incos. He was too late for Giles Fleming.
The Knight who say Ni reports:

I paid a visit to the home of Giles Fleming this morning at 10:40, in an attempt to rid the game of more incompetents. Unfortunately there was no sign of him. But the exercise to get to his room was worth the trip, four flights of stairs, glad I live lower than that.

[22:00 PM] NO RUM?! drove Harry Robinson (Dick Deadeye) to his death
NO RUM?! reports:

Today I Joseph Reed destroyed the incompetent police man Harry Robinson. While discussing our plans to breach the fortress of [UNSPECIFIED_COLLEGE], I took it upon myself to surprise him with my trusty knife (pen) and took his useless life. Be warned Treachery is rife!

[23:00 PM] William P Brooks (G) attacks someone he can't kill. Baroque Obama punishes him accordingly.
G reports:

I stabbed [UNSPECIFIED] because he had brown hair like Dan O'Brien. This turned out to be an error. Baroque Obama then shot me for bearing.

Baroque Obama reports:

At around 11 I saw officer William P Brooks making a kill; knowing that my competence deadline had passed, I shot him in the back.

The Umpire would like to remind police that they are only allowed to attack incompetents and wanted criminals listed on the website. Shooting live assassins or innocents has no effect unless they are openly attacking you or a licit target.

The Umpire would also like to point out to assassins that shooting police players does not count for competence

Monday, 9 February

[09:40 AM] Is Sheepish really a turtle? X can't find him either.

[11:00 AM] It's the last roll of the dice for Daniel O'Brien (Richard Paul Astley) as Bosun Pudding strikes down another inco.
Bosun Pudding reports:

Call that a knife? Now THIS is a knife! Oh wait...

[12:00 PM] Not content with being dead again, William P Brooks tries to interfere with Joshua 'The Duke' Blanchard Lewis and Cogito Ergo Femina Sum
Joshua 'The Duke' Blanchard Lewis reports:

On my way back from my lecture on agricultural reform in the 18th Century, I happened across the delectable Cogito Ergo Femina Sum. I greeted her jovially, upon which she proceeded to join one William 'I am so corrupt' Brooks in chasing after me in a threatening manner. Once I had found a location that I deemed safe for making a stand, I called out to her and urged her to keep her distance, for otherwise I would be forced to slay her. She accepted this, waved, and departed. We shall have to enjoy crumpets together some day, or perhaps in another life, when we are both cats.

Cogito Ergo Femina Sum reports:

Whilst out with Twillo we ran across Joshua 'The Duke' Blanchard Lewis. Twillo took off in hot pursuit with a loud cry of greeting - I followed Twillo in what I hoped was a sort of "I'm an innocent person wondering where Twillo's gone - who me? Don't suspect me" sort of way.

Needless to say, The Duke is far too experienced to fall for that sort of thing ... despite attempts to get close enough to shoot him I failed, and had to make do with a cheery wave, before going on my merry way.

G reports:


The Umpire would like to point out that neither police nor dead players should interfere in events with live players. If he feels that they are interfering too much, he may be forced to annul kills and/or competence.

[12:10 PM] A familiar face returns?
I'M Richard Gibson reports:

This afternoon I came across the delightful Mr Tom Wootten, who was not wearing a hat, but rather a hood of some type

[20:45 PM] The BBC News wants to kill incos, but Alice Draper, Nadia Shahanara Islam and Oliver Timmis won't come out to play
The BBC News reports:

Another frustrating incobash! All of them seem to live in card-secured buildings and people at [unspecified college] were giving me decidedly shifty looks, so after a bit of lurking around and trying to get in I gave up and went home. :(

[21:00 PM] Shantanu Kafle is apparently subtle enough to evade arva and The Penguin

[22:00 PM] a horrible drunken accident involving a marrow, a "woman", a "boy",a suspicious green bag and a scary, scaly thing making RAAAAAWR noises. has a warning for Shantanu Kafle
a horrible drunken accident involving a marrow, a "woman", a "boy",a suspicious green bag and a scary, scaly thing making RAAAAAWR noises. reports:

Whilst two non-innocents were witness to a horrible drunken accident involving a marrow, a "woman", a "boy",a suspicious green bag and a scary, scaly thing making RAAAAAWR noises.., it seems that said accident did not kill anyone. Wherever Shantanu Kafle was this evening, it was a fortunate place, far from this dreadful accident. Such a shame that he'll be hit by that rather less fortunate bolt of lightening rather soon if he doesn't come out. a horrible drunken accident involving a marrow, a "woman", a "boy",a suspicious green bag and a scary, scaly thing making RAAAAAWR noises. or a bolt of lightening? That is the question.

Tuesday, 10 February

[09:55 AM] The ITV News has a special early morning bulletin for Carol Sparke (Cogito Ergo Femina Sum)
The ITV News reports:

NEWSFLASH! Suspected lady of the night struck down on Silver Street Bridge! (dum dum doodle doo). Wave of debauchery as rainbow-coloured furries bare all and are arrested for indecent exposure! (doo bee doo be doo) Becks flies home early to spend Valentine's Week with Posh! (dee doo bee doo bee doo bee dum dum) Lindsay Lohan once again in rehab! (duh duh dum de dum de duh duh dum de dum de duh duh dum de dum de dum de dum dee) And later on the programme, watch and mock those funny Aussies as they fail to flee the raging fires in their slow japanese cars! All this and more on our 6 o'clock news. But now: Ant and Dec's knicker fight super family blockbustering game show!

[12:27 PM] It appears Black Eyed Pete has an ally in his quest for treasure.
Black Eyed Pete reports:

Black Eyed Pete would like to make one thing perfectly clear:

Today, Black Eyed Pete was sat comfortably getting on with [UNSPECIFIED_TASKS] and thinking about getting some lunch when his mobile telecommunications device made him aware that he might want to examine it. Upon doing so he discovered a very useful picture of one of his targets sent by none other than [UNSPECIFIED_ASSASSIN] along with a message requesting the urgent elimination of this person. Given the way things are currently going for Pete, he expects this person to be killed about an hour before he makes an attempt but we shall see!

[13:10 PM] Simon Taylor (Lord Erebus) should have known better than to mess with l33t asssassins like l33t-girl888 and I pwn n00bs
l33t-girl888 reports:

Returning to my room, ahead of me I spied a figure I recognised not to be from my college. Ducking behind a hedge, I watched as he suspiciously entered the block where my room was. I was 100% sure he was an assassin, but knowing there was another assassin in my block I couldn't be sure he was after me. Waiting until he left, i trailed him, and while doing so happened upon I pwn n00bs who joined me. We watched as he attempted another target, and then headed round a corner, we continued to follow, just as he came back around the corner, and we passed by each other with my heart beating furiously. Luckily it turned out he didn't know what i looked like and didn't suspect a thing. However, having lost our nerve I retreated back to my room, just for him to appear again outside my room a minute after i returned. This time however i now knew he was after me, so when he left, once again he was trailed, until I caught up. Where upon Simon who had me as his target, was soaked on the street.

Lord Erebus reports:

I decided to make an attempt on l33t-girl888 this afternoon. After lurking at [unspecified college] for a while, an innocent happened to walk past and asked who I was. I said I was waiting for l33t-girl888 (not knowing the name of anyone else in the block), and he accidentally informed me of their subject. Realizing that I'd better make an exit, I proceeded to another college for some incobashing. I passed a couple of possible assassins while I was there, but this target wasn't in so I proceeded back to my original target. A few minutes later, the innocent reappeared by chance and I made a hasty exit, annoyed at being accidentally foiled by a completely innocent.

A few minutes later I was gunned down on Kings Parade by the assassins I'd spotted at the other college, and discovered that the whole thing from the not-so-innocent's first appearance was a complete set-up and I'd been followed since I left originally, my continued existence only due to the fact that they didn't know which one of them I was targeting.

A most devious trap!

I pwn n00bs reports:

Lawlz at teh f00 Simon. Camps 0uts1d3 teh r00m, but w3 f0ll0w. h3 sees us but was 2 n00bish to do nething. So we -> base and he comes back. s0 we follow and is sniped bi l33t-girl888

[13:25 PM] President assassinated! Oh wait it's only James Brister (Baroque Obama) (this time).
iswydt reports:

Revenge is a dish best served in oddly familiar circumstances, with custard.

[13:30 PM] Mary Fortune (Sidhe) discovers that attacking Sheepish is a bad plan. First she shoots an innocent, and then is killed by her target, with a little help from Jimbob Jones
Sheepish reports:

Come home to see a suspicious person hanging outside my room. Cool as a cucumber, I stroll past her, then leg it in to my room and slam the door. She may have been on to me by then...but I wait her out, and when she leaves follow. She turns round, and after a brief moment I draw my weapon and shoot her.

Two assassins have come to get me, two have died. Bring it on X!

Jimbob Jones reports:

Heading to Sheepish's room, we passed a very suspicious character hanging around in the hallway. I passed by said person and headed up stairs avoiding going towards Sheepish's room in case I was mistaken as Sheepish and shot in the back. Sheepish, however, decided not to follow suit, and having walked past the person lost his nerve and ran into his room and slammed the door shut, showing the assassin he was in and exactly what he looked like :P. I watched from the window a couple of floors up until I saw the assassin starting to leave at which point i headed back downstairs to find the dead corpse of an innocent lying mangled across the stairs. We began to leave as well to follow and just as doing so we come face to face with the assassin again. Once again I walk past before diving for cover to avoid being hit by any stray shots, as Sheepish who was quicker on the draw took down Mary.

[17:15 PM] Would Oliver Timmis (Lionheart) give him kingdom for some PIE!?
PIE! reports:

Well, this was weird. Bond found himself tied up, upside down and hovering over a meat grinder. A cackling maniac rich bastard watched on.

-So, generic supervillain, do you expect me to talk?, he quothed.

-No, Mr Bond, I expect you to PIE!

Wednesday, 11 February

[11:55 AM] Sheepish dishes out his own bran of Justice on Jack Oyston (Hooded Justice)
Sheepish reports:

At a society meeting yesterday, someone started asking awkward questions about societies, and generally being suspicious. I don't like suspicious people, so after a lecture I dispatched the incompetent police Hooded Justice with a bang kill.

[13:00 PM] Shantanu Kafle (The Unsubtle Menace) avoids being thunderbolted by beight caught up by The Soviet Samurai
The Soviet Samurai reports:

The Way of the Party dictates, "Comrade who becomes incompetent Comrade has his days numbered." And being a Soviet Samurai i follow the Way, especially so if fate gives me such a sign. An anxious looking Shantanu Kafle walking up the stairs of the Fortress of Law. Me walking down the stairs of the Fortress of Law. I grip my blade tightly. Passing him i swung. His throat in two. Blood trailing down the steps as i continued my descent, reflecting on the Way of the Party...

[18:20 PM] Black Eyed Pete searches for James Brister without success. Surprise, surprise, he was dead anyway!
Black Eyed Pete reports:

Black Eyed Pete had decided earlier in the day that he should pay a visit to the incompetent James Brister so after finishing [UNSPECIFIED_TASKS] he set off to find the room belonging to this lazy person. On his way he happened to pass a certain Seaman G walking the other way. Given his current run of luck, Black Eyed Pete suddenly had a bad feeling that once again he was too late! None-the-less he continued on his way.

Having infiltrated the outer perimeter of the compound, he set about trying to locate the appropriate door - easier said than done in that crazy maze of buildings but eventually he found it. He tried the door but it was locked, there appeared to be lights on in the room but no sign of movement. Not to be put off however Black Eyed Pete found a suitable place in which to lurk and waited for his chosen mark. The minutes ticked by but the gentleman didn't show. After half an hour of getting very cold, Black Eyed Pete had had enough. He slipped a calling card under the door and made his way to safety.

[20:55 PM] Michelle pulls her belle moves on Christopher Milligan (suckmyrocket)
Michelle reports:

Chris was quizzical, studied pataphysical
Science in the home
Late nights all alone with a test-tube
Michelle Edison majoring in medicine
Calls him on the phone
"Can I take you out to the pictures
But as he's getting ready to go
A knock comes on the door...
Bang, bang, Michelle's silver hammer
Came down upon his head
Bang, bang, Michelle's silver hammer
Made sure that he was dead

Thursday, 12 February

[13:00 PM] The mysterious X responds to the challenge by taking down Alasdair Wilkins (Jimbob Jones AKA l33t-girl888) and Brook Roberts (Sheepish AKA I pwn n00bs AKA The Last Biscuit)
Sheepish reports:

Today I paid the price for helping an attempt. Whilst I and Jimbob Jones went round a corner to hide, X had us in his sights, and made use of our carelessness. With one shot from his gun, he managed to eliminate both of us. Perhaps my challenge was slightly misplaced :P

X reports:

It does have to be said, they really DID ask for it... :P

Brook Roberts : Two assassins have come to get me, two have died. Bring it on X!

X : Ok, sure. No worries. Around one good for you? Yeah, I have nothing in my diary then either. Great. You'll bring your friend Jimbob Jones? Lovely, I look forward to meeting him too. Ok, see you then!

Feeling Sheepish now? And as for the whole [I pwn n00bs] thing, well... I won't say it ;)

THIS ( roughly sums it up, I think.

And in another one of my guises... Sont des mortes qui vont très bien ensemble,
Très bien ensemble.

Jimbob Jones reports:

I am sorry to report of my demise, being unusually careless after lectures cost me my life. Going straight from my lecture to outside the next door lecture hall to hopefully take out one of my targets, me and Sheepish stayed too near to my own lecture hall for too long and were swiftly dispatched by one who had clearly been scouting one of us out for a while and had finally been given a good opportunity to finish us.

[17:20 PM] Bosun Pudding om nom noms another inco, Christopher Powell (You got Sarge'd)
You got Sarge'd reports:

lots of work + assassins guild = inco = dead

Just been killed by Coryan Wilson-Shah. Went down to the plodge to check mail, recognised him so made a quick break back to my room via an alternative route. Of course, this meant he got there first and my nerf ball gun choose the wrong time to become mildy defective.

Bosun Pudding reports:

It was kind of like going to Sheila, but instead, we read the Chris family Robinson.

[19:00 PM] NINJA Elfboy has fun in the snow, but Jimbob Jones doesn't increase his pleasure
NINJA Elfboy reports:

At 7pm I infiltrated [UNSPECIFIED], sliding all the way in the freshly falling snow... Notice the long slide marks in the snow around town at the main courtyard? ALL ME! :D I went to kill a friend, mr Jimbob Jones, not because he was a target but because he wanted to kill me... and that's just mean. So I went and poisoned his world then lurked for half an hour, potentially fresking his neighbours...

Friday, 13 February

[09:00 AM] Roseanna Pendlebury(Justice!...this time) dies again, this time to Captain Orgasmatron

[10:00 AM] What me? No, I'm not corrupt. appears to be less than corrupt, dispatching the inco Alice Draper (Marvin)

[11:00 AM] Holmes detective skills fail to locate Ernesto
Holmes reports:

I called for Ernesto at [UNSPECIFIED_COLLEGE] , but he didn't seem to be in to come out and play. :(

[11:00 AM] It's arva's turn to shoot the already dead Christopher Powell, with a little help from The Penguin
arva reports:

Lurked for a certain incompetent (Christopher Powell) today outside of his lecture (with The Penguin), but no sign of him at all. 45 mins later, we were in place again to lurk outside his next lecture. I saw him talking to friends, and then as he walked away I followed and stabbed him. Only to find out he'd been got already. Damn.

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