The Assassins' Guild - Headlines

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Monday, 12 November

[08:30 AM] Professor Klunk teaches Ryan Hamlet (Wannabe Tramp) a thing or two

[09:55 AM] Frog has James Brister (James Brister) put down

[11:05 AM] RC Assassin (The Dark Crusader) also takes a lesson from Professor Klunk

[12:00 PM] The Dormouse gets overexcited

[13:15 PM] Alcibiades serves Dominic Thompson (Dominic Thompson) his last meal

[13:15 PM] Dr Acula feasts on Jack Leigh (Pedro Sanchez)

[13:30 PM] Shenanigans occur

[15:55 PM] Magnum PI mows down Colm Flanagan (Alcibiades)

[16:00 PM] Magnum PI squishes Howard Dale (Frog)

[16:10 PM] Joshua Guy 'Duke' Blanchard Lewis sings a song for Luke Bennett and William (Twillo) Brooks

[17:15 PM] Fluffy slays Amir Hajizamani (Dr Acula)

[18:15 PM] The Recalcitrant Frog surprises John Barrett (Spiderjesus)

[18:45 PM] The Dormouse broke the heart of Emilie [Emmy] Yerby (JV)

[19:00 PM] Luke Bennett (I'm not a minion, I'm a man - oh wait I'm...) gives 3.14 + 2veg = yum and The Recalcitrant Frog the runaround, but eventually succumbs.

[19:35 PM] In which The man with a very big stick, Golden Worm, queen, The Mad Hatter, The Cheshire Cat and Fluffy all fail to kill one another

[20:00 PM] The man with a very big stick, Golden Worm and queen do the Emmanuel circuit

[20:04 PM] The Mad Hatter tells Martin Bailey (Northern Boys Love Gravy) the killing joke

[20:20 PM] The Cheshire Cat smiles on Andy London (Lord Roobob)

[20:44 PM] James Polyblank hunts The Recalcitrant Frog, but kills something else instead

[21:20 PM] The Mad Hatter and The Cheshire Cat do the Emmanuel circuit, bagging Pete Dyson (Destructive Dys), Tomas (Tom) Rodriguez Perez (Entreline), and Simon Abernethy (Horatio T Loins)

[21:40 PM] The Crow and Dzeytoun bring excitement to the Union, but 3.14 + 2veg = yum escapes by the skin of his reflective jacket

[22:00 PM] Magnum PI mutilated Martin Bailey's corpse

[22:10 PM] 3.14 + 2veg = yum scares Ludmila (Ludi) Demtchenko (The Crow) into the waiting clutches of Professor Klunk, while Dzeytoun runs away

[22:35 PM] Alice Jacobs collapses the wave function of Liam Mencel (The Mencellator)

Tuesday, 13 November

[09:55 AM] The Mad Hatter finds Jenny Molloy (Amanita Arbury)

[10:02 AM] Alvin takes the opportunity to dispatch Jayaveni (Jaya) Chedumbarum Pillay (The Dormouse)

[10:03 AM] 3.14 + 2veg = yum gets his revenge on Lorna Ayton (Pretty Hate Machine)

[11:04 AM] Simeon Bird get his vengeance on Michael Donaghy (Alvin)

[16:15 PM] 3.14 + 2veg = yum tracks down Amy Booth (Alice Jacobs), but takes an innocent too

[17:43 PM] 3.14 + 2veg = yum makes a tasty meal of Yuan Cao Zhang (Disclaimer)

[19:25 PM] Vinnie the Psychopath plays it safe

[20:45 PM] Fluffy stabbed The Cheshire Cat in an out of bounds area

[22:00 PM] Vinnie the Psychopath stalked Christina (Chris) Woodger

[22:20 PM] Professor Klunk strikes again, and Elaine Oliver (Napoleon Dynamite) dies

[22:25 PM] The Mad Hatter conquers Laura Parker (La Conquistadora)

Wednesday, 14 November

[12:45 PM] Professor Klunk takes down Simeon Bird (The Mad Hatter) (and an innocent)

[13:12 PM] The man with a very big stick thwaps Callum Rhodes (SDG)

[14:00 PM] Professor Klunk and 3.14 + 2veg = yum conspire to bring down Steven Shenton (The Cheshire Cat)

[16:25 PM] Lucas Perez Trujillo (Revolta) suffers from too much 3.14 + 2veg = yum

[17:46 PM] Fluffy delivers the mail to Dr Dash and co.

[17:50 PM] Simon Woolf (Dzeytoun) dies under the iron heel of Professor Klunk

[18:00 PM] queen cowers

[19:00 PM] queen sniffs the post

[19:30 PM] Dr Dash and The Tame Goose double-team Richard Brittain (Richard Brittain)

[20:10 PM] 3.14 + 2veg = yum makes mincemeat of Sean Maguire (Sean the Sheep), and How

[21:00 PM] Professor Klunk and 3.14 + 2veg = yum stomp Prashin (Prash) Jethwa (Dr Dash)

[22:15 PM] Theodore makes his first move, James Dixon (Magnum PI) and Sam Cocks (Mario) makes their last

[22:22 PM] Liam Brierley (Throttle the Hunter) gets throttled by 3.14 + 2veg = yum

Thursday, 15 November

[08:30 AM] 3.14 + 2veg = yum lurks for Fluffy

[10:00 AM] Will Everyone Stop Getting Shot! visits Theodore

[11:41 AM] Lean Mean Killing Machine defuses her post

[14:35 PM] Victor Xu Heng Leong (queen) and David Anthony Read (The man with a very big stick) go hunting for The Sex, but are ambushed by The Tame Goose

[17:30 PM] Fluffy finishes off Scott Wildgoose (The Tame Goose) and Vicky Nwosu-Hope (The Sex)

[19:05 PM] Vinnie the Psychopath checks the locks, thwarting Fluffy

Friday, 16 November

[19:00 PM] Fluffy shoots Professor Klunk from an OOB area, and then scares 3.14 + 2veg = yum away too

[22:40 PM] Theodore charges down Alicia Danks (The Recalcitrant Frog)

[22:45 PM] Theodore brings about a sur(3.14)sing end for Joshua Guy 'Duke' Blanchard Lewis (3.14 + 2veg = yum) and his puns

[23:05 PM] Professor Klunk dispenses his own brand of justice to William (Twillo) Brooks (Theodore)

Saturday, 17 November

[09:59 AM] The ghost of Alicia Danks poisons the soul of Kamila Ewa Julia Zubala (known as Camilla) (Vinnie the Psychopath)

[15:00 PM] Fluffy sends Roisin Kiberd (Modo) back to Mars

[17:00 PM] The Game Ends

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