The Assassins' Guild

[09:45 AM] Beard Bird slaughtered Mencellator as he walked carelessly around Trinity

[09:55 AM] SDG tried to bang kill Beard Bird through a shield, resulting in a duel where Beard Bird sliced SDG in half

[12:05 PM] Beard Bird bang killed Henry VIII who was painfully unaware of his surroundings

[12:39 PM] SDG takes on the very discreet (read terribly transparent) Beard Bird.

[12:47 PM] The Grape of Wrath got a little to close to Beard Bird and sliced his left arm off with a sword. Beard Bird countered with his right arm, delivering a fatal bang kill to The Grape of Wrath

[13:00 PM] Baby-faced Lemming shot Maria in the head with an RBG. (one lemming falls off a cliff, the rest follow)

[13:13 PM] Jack didn't Hug Me! So I stabbed him.

[13:24 PM] Delete this event

[15:54 PM] Beard Bird killed The Grape of Wrath

[17:04 PM] Beard Bird found the door of Henry VIII open and found a space in his chest to plant a shot

[18:21 PM] Alice Band killed Emma

[19:10 PM] Zaphod killed American Psycho

[19:14 PM] Alice Band killed Don Raphael

[20:00 PM] The Man with Absolute Rest killed Raven

[20:20 PM] The Man with Absolute Rest killed Salamonster

[20:42 PM] Baby-faced Lemming killed Emma

[20:45 PM] Maid Marion killed The Man with Absolute Rest

[20:47 PM] Baby-faced Lemming is left disappointed by the already-dead Don Raphael

[21:25 PM] The Viator decided that no kills are made to be broken so shot Beard Bird in the back

[21:35 PM] ...Maid Marion killed The Viator

Tuesday, 20 November

[09:50 AM] The Man with Absolute Motive was lurking atop a bridge when who but The Grape of Wrath passed, receiving a nice splatter effect

[09:55 AM] The Man with Absolute Motive waited atop a fire escape when Mencellator failed to look up until it was too late

[11:55 AM] Beard Bird waited until SDG thought the way was clear, then burst out and shot him in the back before he knew what hit him

[12:00 PM] The Man with Absolute Motive and Baby-faced Lemming double killed with vanishing rubber bands galore

[14:30 PM] Nature's Harmonic Simultaneous 4-Day Time Cube lured Zaphod out of his room and shot him in a deadly duel

[18:15 PM] The Man with Absolute Motive saw The Grape of Wrath lurking for him in the dinning queue so took appropriate measures with an RBG to enable him to eat

[18:15 PM] Raven molested Alice Band in the shower. Mmmmm.

[18:23 PM] The Man with Absolute Motion stopped the Beard Bird

[18:43 PM] Baby-faced Lemming finally gets Don Raphael

[19:27 PM] Zaphod killed Maid Marion

[19:31 PM] Beard Bird killed The Grape of Wrath

[21:56 PM] RC Assassin killed Jack Leigh Again! (but with more class this time)

[22:15 PM] Improper Duelling! In the middle of the street! The Man with Absolute Motion has none compared to The Viator.

Wednesday, 21 November

[02:30 AM] Dr Faust killed St Brendan

[02:54 AM] Dr Faust ditched Jack with an RBG!

[09:55 AM] Beard Bird was strolling around outside when who did he spy but Mencellator who was off gaurd, and very quickly off life

[10:00 AM] The SDG stumbled across a heated battle between The Man with Absolute Rest and Beard Bird, after making sure The Man with Absolute Rest met an elaSticity end, the SDG was shot in the back. Again!

[10:20 AM] An Assassin dined with Beard Bird before breaking a no kill to slaughter this gallant gentleman 10:20 PM not AM

[11:27 AM] Zaphod killed Maid Marion ...again

[13:00 PM] The Man with Absolute Motive kisaw his path to hall rudely inhibitted by Henry VIII, so decided stepping over his bullet riddled corpse was easier

[13:00 PM] Pickles killed Salamonster following him after lectures

[13:27 PM] Zaphod killed American Psycho

[13:28 PM] The Man with Absolute Motive saw The Man with Absolute Motion distracted by the food he was about to eat so Bang killed him from behind

[14:01 PM] Amy Booth killed Towanda the Avenger

[15:27 PM] Zaphod killed Maid Marion

[17:23 PM] Dr Faust killed St Brendan again with an RBG, in a valiant display of self defence, after being cornered and with one arm hacked to pieces with a rusty USB stick.

[18:05 PM] One Man and his Beard killed Maid Marion

[18:22 PM] Pickles killed Salamonster following him after lectures

[18:29 PM] American Psycho mutilated the corpse of Maid Marion

[18:30 PM] Zaphod killed American Psycho

[18:50 PM] One Man and his Beard killed Alice Band

[19:10 PM] While the SDG was skulking for Jejunal Infarction he happend upon Raven who shot him before he could reach for his gun.

[19:50 PM] One Man and his Beard killed The Man with Absolute Motion

[19:56 PM] RC Assassin mutilated the corpse of Jack Leigh, while Elaine Oliver looked on.

[21:10 PM] Zaphod killed Maria

[22:15 PM] Towanda ships Ludi off to Wonderland

[22:16 PM] Steve follows Ludi in her journey

[22:47 PM] Towanda visits Catz for the second time to find Sol unarmed

[23:17 PM] The Viator had means and opportunity, but was not The Man with Absolute Motive, as Amanita Arbury shot an innocent

[23:42 PM] Curiosity killed Jack

Thursday, 22 November

[00:15 AM] Zaphod killed American Psycho

[07:40 AM] The Man with Absolute Motive had heard An Assassin mention she was rowing early sho The Man with Absolute Motive got on his bike and shot her with a water pistol as she cycled by. Revenge is sweet

[08:20 AM] Beard Bird was warming up when Henry VIII entered the boathouse and left life

[10:00 AM] Maid Marion killed Baby-faced Lemming

[11:53 AM] Ben Weaver gets a visitor

[12:00 PM] Beard Bird lurked behind a car for SDG to come into the open, before chasing him and shooting him down

[12:00 PM] After an unsucsesful duel in the morning (ie no one died) the SDG was low on ammo. After lectures Beard Bird chased an unarmed SDG into a corner and shot him, AGAIN!

[13:11 PM] The Grape of Wrath killed Mencellator

[13:30 PM] One Man and his Beard killed Hug Me!

[15:00 PM] Pickles killed Salamonster

[15:26 PM] Towanda visits Jesus and gets American Psycho, who turns out to be not that psychopathic

[16:05 PM] A lurking Alice Band made short work of Maid Marion

[16:10 PM] St Brendan attempted to impose his monastic rule on Alice Band and got shot in the head with a water-pistol.

[19:08 PM] Baby-faced Lemming displayed necrophilic intentions towards the corpse of Maid Marion

[21:32 PM] The Grape of Wrath stabbed Beard Bird in the back; which apparently made him feel a little tired.

[21:36 PM] Henry VIII killed Beard Bird

[21:37 PM] The Viator killed Mencellator

[22:45 PM] Baby-faced Lemming stabbed Zaphod

Friday, 23 November

[00:00 AM] Baby-faced Lemming killed Maria

[03:46 AM] Dr Faust killed Jack AGAIN

[10:00 AM] Maid Marion killed Jack

[10:00 AM] Pickles killed Salamonster

[10:02 AM] The Viator tried to teach The Man with Absolute Motive some principles of Mechanics, but received his own lesson.

[12:50 PM] Maid Marion got Zaphod with a rubber band through the heart

[13:00 PM] SDG clashed but failed to kill each other Pickles

[13:05 PM] Maid Marion killed Baby-faced Lemming

[13:39 PM] The Grape of Wrath killed Mencellator

[14:34 PM] Pickles clashed with SDG

[16:01 PM] The Man with Absolute Motion killed The Man With Absolut Motif

[17:10 PM] The Man with Absolute Motion exchanged fire with Jejunal Infarction

[17:42 PM] Dr Faust pwnt St Brendan

[18:20 PM] Generator of Random Digits calculated the odds while cycling and squished The Grape of Wrath into the ground

[18:34 PM] The Man with Absolute Motion was not a Jómsvikingar!

[19:20 PM] Beard Bird had been eating bellow a portrait of Henry VIII and so knew his face when he stepped into hall for the last time

[21:44 PM] Maid Marion killed Zaphod

[22:00 PM] RC Assassin saw Elaine Oliver with the corpse of Jack Leigh and stabbed them both

[23:00 PM] Generator of Random Digits innocently watched tv when Mencellator made a miscalculation and failed to sneak up on him. The numbers came out in favour of the Generator of Random Digits

[23:23 PM] One Man and his Beard narrowly escaped The Man with Absolute Rest and The Man With Absolute Machismo

Saturday, 24 November

[01:28 AM] St Brendan, by the Grace of God, drove the last remnants of Curiosity from his troubled mind. About time...

[09:58 AM] The Viator killed Amanita Arbury

[10:07 AM] Baby-faced Lemming and The Viator outside lectures, k.i.l.l.i.n.g.

[10:09 AM] Look at you, you can't even lift that cannon you carry!

[12:00 PM] Generator of Random Digits generated P( Mencellator's ball would hit him)=0 so killed him

[12:05 PM] Beard Bird flew high above The Grape of Wrath's shield and avoided his sword to turn him into a nice house red

[12:51 PM] Zaphod killed American Psycho

[13:20 PM] Zaphod was late for an appointment with Death, so Maid Marion chivied him along.

[14:00 PM] Hug Me! stabbed Jack so far away from home. PLEASE CHANGE TO 14:00 SAT

[15:04 PM] The Viator killed Nature's Harmonic Simultaneous 4-Day Time Cube

[15:06 PM] Hug Me! owes Dr Faust a Sainsburys Doughnut

[15:50 PM] The Man With Absolute Machismo killed The Man with Absolute Motive

[16:28 PM] Robin Hood shot Mencellator as hemove across his landing.

[16:34 PM] The Viator killed Maid Marion

[18:22 PM] Robin Hood and Zaphod killed each other in a deadly fight

[20:59 PM] The Grape of Wrath & The Man With Absolute Machismo double kill at the last minute.

The Assassins' Guild - Headlines

Monday, 19 November

Tuesday, 20 November

Wednesday, 21 November

Thursday, 22 November

Friday, 23 November

Saturday, 24 November