Cloak & Dagger The Assassins' Guild - Week 3 News

Monday, 12 February

[08:30 AM] G.I. Bob discriminated aginst Jon Wright(Chocolate face)
G.I. Bob reports:

I went all the way to Homerton with Steve McCann. On the way in, we spotted two dudes. Steve suggested that one was Seb Jefferies. I found this to be unlikely, since Seb goes to ARU, not Homerton. I then shot the other guy, because he had large eyebrows.

Having completed this kill, the nefarious G.I. Bob has been adjudged to have brought death to "a number of dudes". He is therefore redeemed.

[10:00 AM] The Mole expanded John Daniel Duder(Meerkat of Doom)'s lecture timetable
The Mole reports:

Having generously placed his lectures on Facebook Mr Duder was surprised to find that his 9am Plates and Shells Lecture was followed by a 10pm Seminar entitled, "Rubber Bands: The Silent Killer".

[19:45 PM] Papertree finally caught Alexander Higgs(Deadly koala of doom)
Papertree reports:

Dear Mr Umpire,

Thank you for informing me about your koala problem. I had a free appointment slot at 7.45pm, and so went to assess the size of your problem. Upon doing so, a Deadly koala of doom emerged from his lair, where I was able to exterminate him with several shots to the chest. This should have solved your problem, and no further course of action will need to be taken. I will be sending you your bill shortly.
Yours Faithfully,

[20:03 PM] Edward "Steam-Powered" Heaney wasn't afraid of Talan Le Geyt(The Phantom Rasberry Blower of Old London Town)
Talan Le Geyt reports:


[22:00 PM] Dear Michael Patrick Wallace,

For the notice of Michael Patrick "Raccoon" Wallace, lol-M.A. rofl-PhD, Commander Emeritus, Legions of the North.

In order to preclude our going to APU *again*, we would like you to do your policy duty and shoot the last inco. In return for this trifle, we promise to offer you no less than TWELVE hot cross buns, courtesy of J. Sainsbury's.

If you do not, we may say you are a bit lame. And we might not give you any more crocodiles!


[23:20 PM] Dear 'Sheilamaf',
Joshua Guy Blanchard Lewis reports:

Too many worthy and promising assassins are falling to the sordid blades, guns and killer hippos of a nefarious organisation known only as SheilaMaf. This mob must be sought out and terminated before it exercises too great a stranglehold on the game. I therefore offer a very generous bounty of copious amounts of chocolate to any assassin who causes one of their members to breathe their last. If their notoriously villainous leader should be slain, the enacter of this shall be further rewarded. May the gods speed you on your way and guide your weapons!

The Duke

Tuesday, 13 February

[21:30 PM] Treachery alleged! Joshua Guy Blanchard Lewis(The Duke AKA Vindici) and David Jeremy Sharples(SilentShadow) found dead! Read all about it!
SilentShadow reports:

At around 9.30PM Tuesday 13th The Silent Shadow fell foul to an underhand betrayal from within. Rushing to join up with his erstwhile comrade (who had already fallen to the deceitful act of treachory) he was ruthlessly mown down outside the gates of Emma, his soul slipping silently into the night sky, vowing vengence on the betrayer and companions.

The Duke reports:

What are you two?

Villains all three! The very ragged bone
Has been sufficiently reveng'd!

Oh, Hippolito? Call treason!

HIPPOLITO stamping on him
Yes, my good lord: treason, treason, treason!

Then I'm betray'd!

Alas, poor lecher in the hands of knaves:
A slavish duke is baser than his slaves.

lovely little monster reports:

At around 9.05 I killed the duke with a knife outside Emma.

The Runaway Son reports:

Save me!
The Duke, please save me!
I've got a heart of gold!

[23:45 PM] Simeon Bird shot He For Whom the Bell Tolls
Simeon Bird reports:


Wednesday, 14 February

[12:00 PM] Richard "The Apocalypse of St. John" Gibson shot Danny White(Link) with a little assistance from Richard "Systéme Internationale" Gibson
Richard "The Apocalypse of St. John" Gibson reports:

He that overloometh, the same shall be clothed in White raiment; and I hast blotted out his name out of the book of life

Link reports:

[13:55 PM] Sir Humphrey Injoke defeated John Barrett(Thoughtful Vole). How scientific.
John Barrett reports:



Not by the hands of man, beast or god. Oh, no.

Betrayed by myself. Betrayed by my own sloth and gluttony!

I suppose if nothing else, I now know why they're known as the deadly sins.

It all happened so quickly. I sat at my desk, engaged in some trivial task the exact nature of which escapes me, when all of a sudden I heard the sound of a turning handle; the creak of hinges. Instinctively, I turned towards the sound and sat, paralysed by first bewilderment - how is my door opening? I always lock it! - and then rage at my negligence, as the portal swung open to reveal none other than [people]. By the time I realised what was going on, it was too late. Two shots tore into my exposed flank, forcibly ejecting me from my mortal coil.

As I lay dying, I was angry. Not at my killers - no, they may have been my friends in life, but this is assasins; there are no friends in assassins - but at my failures: two failures, one big, one oh so painfully small, that led to my demise. The first was not killing [person], a target of mine, first. Indeed, I had plotted to kill him this very same day by lurking near his abode in the early hours of the morning, but thought I awoke early, my bed was warm, the day was cold and I could not bear to drag myself outside at such an hour. The second was a simple as failing to engage the lock on my chamber door after returning from the kitchen with the ingredients for a tuna sandwich. So exhilarated was I at the thought of preparing and consuming that magical mixture of fish, dairy and wheat that I neglected all caution and left my door unlocked.

In short, I have no one to blame for my demise but myself.

Well played to those who out-lived me.

Sir Humphrey Injoke reports:

So, I hear John Barrett leaves his door open.
How unscientific.

Thursday, 15 February

[16:00 PM] The Dalai Lama and Gizmo double-teamed Emilie Yerby(Geroge)
Gizmo reports:

Squeeeeeeeee cheese.

The Dalai Lama reports:

May your soul find harmony in its final voyage. May rest come swiftly and enlightenment follow. May you be at one with the Earth and all that live upon it.

[18:00 PM] The Runaway Son implemented plan B with fatal consequences for John William Edward O'Brien(The Mole)

[18:01 PM] Benjamin Weaver(Violet D'Eath AKA Richard "The Apocalypse of St. John" Gibson AKA Sir Humphrey Injoke), Emma Pewsey(Papertree), Jennifer Helen Berry(Silk AKA lovely little monster) and Simeon Bird(Richard "Systéme Internationale" Gibson AKA Edward "Steam-Powered" Heaney) all trusted Betrayer of Souls. That is all.
Betrayer of Souls reports:

Plan (a):
1.) Shoot John O'Brien
2.) Meet SheilaMaf to go and shoot John O'Brien
3.) Shoot SheilaMaf as they arrive

Plan (b):
1.) Meet SheilaMaf to go and shoot John O'Brien
2.) Shoot John O'Brien
3.) Shoot SheilaMaf in one go (five kills in under a minute)

Plan (b) was enacted.

I note that every other member of SheilaMaf had a similar plan:

Simeon planned to wait until I noted that the alliance seemed to still be intact before shooting me and Ben, and going on to duel with the rest.

Ben planned to cosh everyone, and then kill us with his hippo.

Emma just generally planned to backstab us at the best opportunity.

I think Jen was considering it too, but hadn't come up with a plan.

All in all, it was a rather profitable minute or so.

Roj Blake reports:

< Avon> Have you betrayed us!?! Have you betrayed me!?!
< Blake> Yes. Yes, I have.

[22:16 PM] Raccoon had the last word again, killing Sebastian Jefferies(wrath of happy the wonder cat)

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