The Assassins' Guild

[20:02 ] TheBigGayKremlin, Three Fat Women on a Trapeze, K, DarkLordFlatulenceZOMGLOLm4dpwnijsk1llz0rzLaserGunPewPewPewPewROFLCOPTERr0xx and Irbaotaj were lame and not in when visited by Cesy, Not a furry, honest and Smeagol. TheBigGayKremlin was especially lame for leaving his door unlocked

[20:30 ] Three Fat Women on a Trapeze killed Manos, the Hands of Fate.

[20:36 ] Three Fat Women on a Trapeze (and three innocents) died by The Simple Expedient of indiscriminate CPSing

[20:56 ] Someone knocked on Not a furry, honest's door

[21:09 ] The Simple Expedient fell foul of Mike Zero Foxtrot Foxtrot X-Ray's Max-D 2000

[21:10 ] The Paedofinder General shot Mike Zero Foxtrot Foxtrot X-Ray a lot

[21:30 ] Azzy and CF killed I mean, if we only had a wheelbarrow, that would be something.

[22:20 ] The Paedofinder General killed There are those who call me..... Tim

[22:35 ] Irbaotaj welcomed K to the game

[22:42 ] Not a furry, honest shot at Irbaotaj, while The Pink Panther mutilated K

[23:20 ] Azzy and CF made Irbaotaj run around a lot before getting him wet?

[23:37 ] Not a furry, honest went for the same target as Azzy and CF

[23:53 ] Azzy and CF killed someone who may or may not have been using a Player's Internet!

Saturday, 17 June

[00:00 ] Stephen McCann resigned from the game.

[00:17 ] The Paedofinder General and Mike Zero Foxtrot Foxtrot X-Ray were confused by the autoumpire

[00:42 ] Oops... did I shoot that civilian 4 times... silly me...

[02:45 ] Not a furry, honest surprised Hungry Man 234

[03:37 ] Not a furry, honest killed I mean, if we only had a wheelbarrow, that would be something.

[07:16 ] Not a furry, honest squirted prematurely at Irbaotaj

[08:20 ] Irbaotaj dressed up as a tomato. The Pink Panther shot him, for being a boatie.

[10:40 ] OMG! WTF? shamelessly slaughters An infinite number of monkeys in their sleep

[13:58 ] I mean, if we only had a wheelbarrow, that would be something. confused Me And My Fromage Frais to death

[14:00 ] Pirates invaded the Cam!

[18:35 ] Not a furry, honest was slower than Mike Zero Foxtrot Foxtrot X-Ray. Three Fat Women on a Trapeze wasn't.

[18:45 ] Three Fat Women on a Trapeze killed Irbaotaj

[19:58 ] Me And My Fromage Frais killed Hungry Man 234

[20:20 ] OMG! WTF? K K K!

[20:45 ] Not a furry, honest found someone had got to K first

[22:23 ] Not a furry, honest tried to hide in TheBigGayKremlin's bin

Sunday, 18 June

[00:12 ] Not a furry, honest offered a bounty on OMG! WTF?

[09:57 ] Mike Zero Foxtrot Foxtrot X-Ray was hungry

[10:21 ] Three Fat Women on a Trapeze killed Taranaki

[10:40 ] Not a furry, honest found out how lame DarkLordFlatulenceZOMGLOLm4dpwnijsk1llz0rzLaserGunPewPewPewPewROFLCOPTERr0xx, TheBigGayKremlin, Irbaotaj, Three Fat Women on a Trapeze, Me And My Fromage Frais, OMG! WTF?, K and The Dance Commander's building are

[13:06 ] Manos, the Hands of Fate. woke up in time to kill Not a furry, honest

[13:20 ] Three Fat Women on a Trapeze killed Cesy

[13:30 ] Irbaotaj formally removed DarkLordFlatulenceZOMGLOLm4dpwnijsk1llz0rzLaserGunPewPewPewPewROFLCOPTERr0xx

[13:37 ] Three Fat Women on a Trapeze was as big and gay as people suggest, Improperly Killing The Dance Commander... In The Middle Of The Street!

[15:00 ] Azzy and CF and CF and Azzy fed Hungry Man 234 some hot lead (and by lead we mean water, and by hot we mean cold) - OM-NOM-NOM

[15:03 ] The Paedofinder General saw The Pink Panther. The Pink Panther ran away.

[15:20 ] Richard Gibson ran away from Jacob Samuel Corteen very quickly indeed.

[15:24 ] I mean, if we only had a wheelbarrow, that would be something. killed Hungry Man 234

[15:53 ] The Pink Panther didn't open the door to Matthew Garrett.

[16:02 ] An Evil Atheist Conspiracy? OMG! WTF?

[16:12 ] Irbaotaj was too eager to get Not a furry, honest wet, and ignored DarkLordFlatulenceZOMGLOLm4dpwnijsk1llz0rzLaserGunPewPewPewPewROFLCOPTERr0xx's suggestions about his weaponry

[16:35 ] Not a furry, honest chased I mean, if we only had a wheelbarrow, that would be something. towards Burrel's

[16:48 ] Bobscratch Goldfarb was cruelly silenced by OMG! WTF?

[16:49 ] Not a furry, honest shot at someone cycling down Trinity Street with an XP

[17:11 ] Taranaki bounced up to and stabbed a rather suprised Tyrannosaurus X

[18:05 ] Irbaotaj abandoned DarkLordFlatulenceZOMGLOLm4dpwnijsk1llz0rzLaserGunPewPewPewPewROFLCOPTERr0xx to his fate at the hands of Not a furry, honest

[18:48 ] The Brick died by The Simple Expedient of several rubber bands in the chest

[19:00 ] Irbaotaj killed The Pink Panther, but ended up with a bad case of limb loss.

[19:15 ] The Paedofinder General burninated TheBigGayKremlin

[19:28 ] Not a furry, honest shot someone who looked slightly like Nayeem Khan

[19:45 ] Irbaotaj covered Not a furry, honest as he killed Me And My Fromage Frais

[19:55 ] Not a furry, honest returned the favour for Irbaotaj to get Mike Zero Foxtrot Foxtrot X-Ray

[20:00 ] Irbaotaj added excitement to Mike Zero Foxtrot Foxtrot X-Rays sunbathing

[20:10 ] Taranaki killed The Moving Disaster Zone with and RBG over the head of Richard Gibson

[20:12 ] zomg! CF and Azzy dealt the dirty to Irbaotaj and Not a furry, honest, but not before Not a furry, honest got rid of Azzy and CF...again... :(

[21:02 ] Tyrannosaurus X OMG! WTF?

[21:10 ] OMG! WTF? mistook Taranaki for The Moving Disaster Zone whilst looking for de Murforte. Understandable, really.

[22:00 ] Death on the Dance Floor

Monday, 19 June

[00:05 ] Not a furry, honest killed Hungry Man 234

[07:20 ] The Moving Disaster Zone had a fun morning

[07:30 ] TheBigGayKremlin. (I would say, ''OMG! WTF?'' but we all know it's true)

[09:20 ] Irbaotaj stopped running long enough for Not a furry, honest to kill him

[11:50 ] Irbaotaj exchanged fire with Not a furry, honest

[12:10 ] Not a furry, honest took TheBigGayKremlin's bin, but Three Fat Women on a Trapeze still eluded him

[12:15 ] Petmaf? No, Paedomaf!

[12:15 ] There are no innocents in the war on paedophilia

[12:42 ] Carson of Milton Keynes. Unleashed the Hand upon Three Fat Women on a Trapeze while The Paedofinder General laughed maniacally in the background

[13:55 ] Sheilamaf went to the store, to shoot all of Petmaf to start the war

[14:10 ] K killed Not a furry, honest, then DarkLordFlatulenceZOMGLOLm4dpwnijsk1llz0rzLaserGunPewPewPewPewROFLCOPTERr0xx killed SuperUnknown, Irbaotaj, K

[14:35 ] Mike Zero Foxtrot Foxtrot X-Ray died by The Simple Expedient of not diving in the Cam

[15:00 ] An infinite number of monkeys committed homicide

[15:50 ] The Paedofinder General burned Cesy and Smeagol again

[17:15 ] Three Fat Women on a Trapeze killed Hungry Hungry Hitman

[17:40 ] An infinite number of monkeys killed Heavyness

[17:47 ] Fire in the disco! Fire in... Pembroke Street! The Dance Commander ordered some fun with Irbaotaj, Not a furry, honest and SuperUnknown

[18:00 ] An infinite number of monkeys committed homicide

[18:03 ] SuperUnknown went hunting for Mike Zero Foxtrot Foxtrot X-Ray, but was ambushed by the target, who narrowly missed, hitting Irbaotaj, who was sadly already deceased.

[18:10 ] The Brick was most obliging for Carson of Milton Keynes.

[18:10 ] 'Richard Gibson? OMG! WTF?' said The Paedofinder General

[18:15 ] SuperUnknown formally dispatched I mean, if we only had a wheelbarrow, that would be something. who, incidentally, was the one dressed to kill, as he was putting the finishing touches to his May Ball outfit. Dead on arrival, anyone?

[18:30 ] SuperUnknown went hunting for DarkLordFlatulenceZOMGLOLm4dpwnijsk1llz0rzLaserGunPewPewPewPewROFLCOPTERr0xx, but found K in the former's room, unarmed. Beggars can't be choosers.

[18:30 ] de Murforte found Tyrannosaurus X door unlocked and acted appropriately

[18:35 ] SuperUnknown located DarkLordFlatulenceZOMGLOLm4dpwnijsk1llz0rzLaserGunPewPewPewPewROFLCOPTERr0xx and launched an attack, resulting in mutual annihilation.

[18:50 ] Bobscratch Goldfarb mercilessly skinned An infinite number of monkeys

[19:21 ] CF and Azzy fed Hungry Man 234 some cold water (and by cold we mean ambient temperature, and by water we mean rubber bands) - OM-NOM-NOM!

[19:40 ] Blood on Trinity Street! CF and Azzy, Azzy and CF, The Simple Expedient, The Pink Panther and Manos, the Hands of Fate. performed a dance of death while The Dance Commander watched, giggling.

[19:45 ] CF and Azzy proved tigers>The Pink Panther

[20:10 ] Three Fat Women on a Trapeze killed TheBigGayKremlin

[21:01 ] The Dance Commander wanted to jive with Three Fat Women on a Trapeze, but Three Fat Women on a Trapeze wasn't having any of it

[21:17 ] I mean, if we only had a wheelbarrow, that would be something. killed Not a furry, honest

[21:24 ] The Paedofinder General shot Three Fat Women on a Trapeze in the Jesus May ball queue

Tuesday, 20 June

[00:20 ] The Paedofinder General killed Mike Zero Foxtrot Foxtrot X-Ray despite the loss of an arm

[05:26 ] CF and Azzy spread the Supreme Generalissimo of the Buffer Continent of South America across his death toast

[06:05 ] Not a furry, honest killed Hungry Man 234

[06:22 ] Faced with CF and Azzy, Irbaotaj and Azzy and CF, Not a furry, honest took Azzy and CF and a bystander with him

[10:12 ] Carson of Milton Keynes. brutally exterminated The Brick

[11:01 ] The Pink Panther impaled SuperUnknown from behind. In the middle of the road!

[12:10 ] The Paedofinder General shot Tyrannosaurus X, who thought he was Wolverine from X-Men

[12:15 ] The Paedofinder General shot de Murforte in the back

[12:35 ] Taranaki shot Manos, the Hands of Fate., and then double-killed with The Paedofinder General

[14:24 ] Irbaotaj killed DarkLordFlatulenceZOMGLOLm4dpwnijsk1llz0rzLaserGunPewPewPewPewROFLCOPTERr0xx

[14:50 ] Not a furry, honest

[14:57 ] Man's God-given Genius was in The Moving Disaster Zone

[15:00 ] Me And My Fromage Frais is particularly good at reporting events twice.

[15:00 ] SuperUnknown shot Me And My Fromage Frais. Oooh, nasty!

[15:21 ] Not a furry, honest is a man, but was torn between Vengeance and Fashion when he faced The Dance Commander in black tie

[15:27 ] The Simple Expedient was in The Moving Disaster Zone

[16:00 ] Three Fat Women on a Trapeze killed Doc

[16:05 ] Three Fat Women on a Trapeze killed The Manic Gerbil

[16:05 ] SuperUnknown caught Mike Zero Foxtrot Foxtrot X-Ray napping in his JCR.

[16:50 ] Bounties are offered for the heads of some players

[18:33 ] The Paedofinder General killed The Pink Panther.

[18:35 ] The Paedofinder General killed SuperUnknown

[19:20 ] Bobscratch Goldfarb disappointed quite a large posse, including Manos, the Hands of Fate. and his associates, 'cos he didn't have enough flashy watery gear

[19:35 ] The Paedofinder General shot Doc

[19:35 ] The Paedofinder General killed SuperUnknown

[20:10 ] Smeagol dead. Doc mutilated. OMG! WTF?

[20:39 ] Taranaki de Murforte OMG! WTF?

[20:45 ] TheBigGayKremlin killed Irbaotaj, apparently.

[20:50 ] TheBigGayKremlin killed Irbaotaj, apparently.

[20:57 ] TheBigGayKremlin killed Three Fat Women on a Trapeze

[21:08 ] Me And My Fromage Frais killed a very despondent Hungry Man 234

[21:10 ] Mike Zero Foxtrot Foxtrot X-Ray was not impressed with England's performance against Sweden

[21:15 ] The Paedofinder General shot TheBigGayKremlin, after attempting to mutilate Jake

[22:15 ] CF and Azzy and Azzy and CF paid a visit to the King's bar, King's bar, King's bar, where they found Underground Otter - any chance of jfa cakes inafstead of bourbons? Sainsbury's basics if possible...

Wednesday, 21 June

[00:25 ] Three Fat Women on a Trapeze killed TheBigGayKremlin

[08:07 ] The mighty Supreme Generalissimo of the Buffer Continent of South America didn't quite kill Twinkle Toes ...

[10:36 ] I mean, if we only had a wheelbarrow, that would be something. opened his door. Not a furry, honest was there

[12:00 ] Jet Jaguar reprogrammed himself to expand to twenty times his normal size to kill Twinkle Toes

[12:05 ] Three Fat Women on a Trapeze killed Taranaki

[12:09 ] Not a furry, honest shot TheBigGayKremlin, but was too late for Taranaki

[12:10 ] TheBigGayKremlin had a visitor

[12:23 ] An anonymous bounty was placed on Phil Bielby

[12:30 ] Three Fat Women on a Trapeze killed de Murforte

[12:40 ] Three Fat Women on a Trapeze shot Supreme Generalissimo of the Buffer Continent of South America who died of his injuries. But the Revolution lives on.

[12:45 ] Manos, the Hands of Fate. killed Three Fat Women on a Trapeze

[13:40 ] You're Not a furry, honest? OMG! WTF?

[13:50 ] George Davies and Phil Bielby were very naughty boys

[15:00 ] CF and Azzy and Azzy and CF proved that The Dance Commander likes to take it from furry fagbois (sic)

[16:00 ] Three Fat Women on a Trapeze killed TheBigGayKremlin

[16:40 ] The Paedofinder General killed TheBigGayKremlin, who was having a massage

[16:50 ] Redd Cry killed Azzy and CF but CF and Azzy wouldn't come out to play

[16:50 ] Azzy and CF went the way of many Bothans to draw out Taranaki

[17:15 ] Three Fat Women on a Trapeze performed for The Pink Panther. Irbaotaj then administered a mercy killing.

[18:00 ] Three Fat Women on a Trapeze killed Mike Zero Foxtrot Foxtrot X-Ray

[18:15 ] Three Fat Women on a Trapeze killed Me And My Fromage Frais

[18:15 ] The Paedofinder General killed Underground Otter, after aquiring an item on ucam.adverts.giveaway from his next-door neighbour

[18:40 ] The Paedofinder General shot Doc

[19:45 ] The Great SPT Wars of 2006

[19:50 ] Azzy and CF performed a resurrection charge at The Paedofinder General, but died in the process

[20:20 ] Irbaotaj ducked just enough to receive Not a furry, honest's Storm 600 in the face

[21:25 ] black-tied de Murforte killed Tyrannosaurus X after he walked past Sidney May Ball Queue.

[21:30 ] Not a furry, honest visited I mean, if we only had a wheelbarrow, that would be something., but I mean, if we only had a wheelbarrow, that would be something. had a wheelbarrow, although not a skipping rope.

[23:00 ] Mike Zero Foxtrot Foxtrot X-Ray accidentally cut several innocents' feet a bit

Thursday, 22 June

[00:37 ] I mean, if we only had a wheelbarrow, that would be something. waited for Not a furry, honest

[03:39 ] Mike Zero Foxtrot Foxtrot X-Ray made a lame attempt on Carson of Milton Keynes.

[03:43 ] Hopeless with timestamps stabbed someone carrying a water weapon

[08:55 ] The Dance Commander was ambushed by a surprisingly keen (and bedder-scaring) Three Fat Women on a Trapeze

[10:53 ] Not a furry, honest evaded DarkLordFlatulenceZOMGLOLm4dpwnijsk1llz0rzLaserGunPewPewPewPewROFLCOPTERr0xx's weight

[11:05 ] Azzy and CF and Jet Jaguar performed a dance of death while CF and Azzy and The Dance Commander performed a dance of being less involved

[11:30 ] Not a furry, honest om-nom-nom'd something. OMG! WTF?

[12:10 ] He's still TheBigGayKremlin? ZOMG! WTF?

[12:45 ] Not a furry, honest got Irbaotaj nice and wet

[13:26 ] Taranaki attempted to ambush The Dance Commander and The Paedofinder General in Fitz, but was somewhat outclassed in the water weapons area, and died to The Dance Commander

[13:40 ] Hopeless with timestamps left the window of his impenetrable bunker wide open to chat...Three Fat Women on a Trapeze took advantage of this

[14:00 ] Three Fat Women on a Trapeze killed The Brick

[15:30 ] Phil Bielby and Simeon Bird encountered some non-players.

[15:50 ] alsuren expanded to only 19.9 metres tall, but Jet Jaguar was too cunning for him.

[15:54 ] Three Fat Women on a Trapeze killed DarkLordFlatulenceZOMGLOLm4dpwnijsk1llz0rzLaserGunPewPewPewPewROFLCOPTERr0xx

[15:55 ] Battle Of SPT 2!

[17:00 ] I mean, if we only had a wheelbarrow, that would be something. killed Not a furry, honest

[18:26 ] The Dance Commander engaged in a dance-a-thon with Evil Atheist Conspiracy

[18:29 ] The bounty onIrbaotaj and The Paedofinder General was changed

[20:13 ] I mean, if we only had a wheelbarrow, that would be something. killed Hungry Man 234

[21:10 ] Azzy and CF made a complete hash of getting rid of Underground Otter - eventually resorting to a raccoon to finish the job. CF and Azzy was there, but decided it was Azzy and CF's time to vore Underground Otter

[23:10 ] The Umpire ran around in the dark for a while

Friday, 23 June

[01:45 ] I mean, if we only had a wheelbarrow, that would be something. found Not a furry, honest

[11:56 ] Areas of Thomas Wootten's staircase may be out of bounds.

[12:41 ] Not a furry, honest killed I mean, if we only had a wheelbarrow, that would be something.

[12:42 ] SuperUnknown ambushed Supreme Generalissimo of the Buffer Continent of South America, only to have his gun jam, leaving him defenceless to be taken out by the latter.

[12:43 ] Not a furry, honest gave Doc a proper goodbye

[12:54 ] David Smith and Phil Adsley resigned from the game

[13:08 ] Three Fat Women on a Trapeze killed I'm afraid this is going to be an understandable mistake

[13:15 ] SheilaMaf played Hearts upon Parker's Piece for the Style Award

[13:16 ] Three Fat Women on a Trapeze killed Supreme Generalissimo of the Buffer Continent of South America

[13:30 ] Three Fat Women on a Trapeze killed DarkLordFlatulenceZOMGLOLm4dpwnijsk1llz0rzLaserGunPewPewPewPewROFLCOPTERr0xx

[14:28 ] CF and Azzy, Azzy and CF and Not a furry, honest had a furmeet in Twinity! (no animals were harmed in the making of this report)

[16:20 ] Supreme Generalissimo of the Buffer Continent of South America killed alsuren

[16:22 ] Supreme Generalissimo of the Buffer Continent of South America killed Heavyness

[17:05 ] I mean, if we only had a wheelbarrow, that would be something. killed Hungry Man 234

[17:33 ] Irbaotaj removed all of Not a furry, honests limbs, before finally finishing the job

[18:32 ] Mike Zero Foxtrot Foxtrot X-Ray was not in Kansas.

[19:02 ] Redd Cry would like to reassure Three Fat Women on a Trapeze, Not a furry, honest, The Simple Expedient and Jet Jaguar that they were popular, just never in during the week when Redd Cry called round

[19:05 ] Three Fat Women on a Trapeze killed Not a furry, honest, again.

[19:58 ] Jacob Samuel Corteen HAHAHAHA OMG! WTF?, in one of the most unsporting events ever.

The Assassins' Guild - Headlines