Cloak & Dagger The Assassins' Guild - Headlines


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Friday, 17 June

[19:03 PM] Ortho Rhombic held Woolgar at gunpoint, before realising he wasn't playing
[19:15 PM] Soggy killed Jack before Jack knew the game has even started!
[19:40 PM] The Sparrow of Doubt guided An assassin to rival the one in Mulholland Drive into the wind turbine of eternity
[19:43 PM] STEVE IS THE ENEMY killed The Sparrow of Doubt
[19:44 PM] Adnan Khashoggi exacted revenge on STEVE IS THE ENEMY
[20:13 PM] A well-meaning but sadly misunderstood lizardman from Antares IV watched Ortho Rhombic putting his trousers on, but still failed to kill him.
[20:20 PM] Adnan Khashoggi chased Ortho Rhombic to the Grafton centre, but gave up when he got there
[20:22 PM] Le Renard Subtil shot the *extremely* pi**ed Pope Nunchucks VII (and his sidekick Jesus) with his RBG
[20:23 PM] R0xx0r teh n00b Prince killed hamster of doom
[20:24 PM] R0xx0r teh n00b Prince killed Twinkle Toes
[20:25 PM] Adnan Khashoggi killed The Mound Of Sound
[22:12 PM] Predatee waved hello to A well-meaning but sadly misunderstood lizardman from Antares IV, who subsequently killed him
[22:38 PM] A well-meaning but sadly misunderstood lizardman from Antares IV ran away from, followed, ran away from, bumped into, hid from and finally killed Adnan Khashoggi

Saturday, 18 June

[00:12 AM] Adnan Khashoggi and the autoumpire confused someone
[10:15 AM] Adnan Khashoggi killed The Masters of the Bench of the Middle Temple
[11:00 AM] The Jesuan Historian was attacked by persons unknown, but was protected by a mysterious aura.
[11:00 AM] The Elemental Lord of Malt Loaf poked The Mound Of Sound, and was soaked by Excessively Dangerous Thing's weapon
[13:00 PM] It's only a ____ stabbed The Jesuan Historian
[15:15 PM] Le Renard Subtil killed Pope Nunchucks VII (and his sidekick Jesus)
[17:00 PM] The Jesuan Historian exacted revenge upon It's only a ____
[17:10 PM] Ortho Rhombic ran away again, this time from the Punt Wars crew
[17:13 PM] Adnan Khashoggi killed The Violating Viola with a CPS.
[17:15 PM] Ortho Rhombic chased R0xx0r teh n00b Prince down Trinity Street, but didn't catch him
[19:02 PM] RIAA assassin killed The Mound Of Sound and an innocent
[20:45 PM] Tom Booth killed a puntload of drunken people
[21:45 PM] It's only a ____ returned the favour to The Jesuan Historian
[22:35 PM] Adnan Khashoggi brutally murdered, in an incredibly un-PC way angsty livejournal entries (tautology you say? deal with it or i'll write some goth poetry...)
[23:40 PM] Poison Ivy killed Firestone, who was then shot by N88EP. He went on to kill Blasphemy (AKA Hump-phrey), before Ortho Rhombic ended his killing spree
[23:56 PM] The Elemental Lord of Malt Loaf heard a knocking without the door, but got confused and thought it was some kind of Zen
[23:57 PM] Ortho Rhombic mutilated angsty livejournal entries (tautology you say? deal with it or i'll write some goth poetry...)

Sunday, 19 June

[00:20 AM] The Elemental Lord of Malt Loaf mutilated angsty livejournal entries (tautology you say? deal with it or i'll write some goth poetry...)
[00:22 AM] binking in dread killed The Elemental Lord of Malt Loaf
[00:40 AM] The Umpire and Tom Booth heroically saved a man from a swamp
[00:50 AM] Adnan Khashoggi gunned down terrorist
[01:15 AM] Adnan Khashoggi killed The Mound Of Sound
[02:10 AM] An ever-so-slightly tipsy Ortho Rhombic couldn't find A well-meaning but sadly misunderstood lizardman from Antares IV, so left a present instead
[11:08 AM] The Elemental Lord of Malt Loaf stabbed Tigerbunny, but his flying daggers were no match for Random Chance's awesome weapon
[11:20 AM] A well-meaning but sadly misunderstood lizardman from Antares IV paid a moderately lethal visit to Jack, catching him with his pants down. (More compromising that you'd think)
[13:35 PM] STEVE IS THE ENEMY killed Le Renard Subtil
[13:40 PM] STEVE IS THE ENEMY killed VanOfDeath at the kings fun day
[13:45 PM] A well-meaning but sadly misunderstood lizardman from Antares IV greeted Mort with a gun in his hand.
[13:45 PM] Gordon Ball was killed by being taken to the Caius Bar
[13:55 PM] STEVE IS THE ENEMY also killed Jar Jar at the king's fun day
[14:39 PM] R0xx0r teh n00b Prince killed Lizziwizzy
[15:10 PM] Tigerbunny killed Random Chance
[15:25 PM] A well-meaning but sadly misunderstood lizardman from Antares IV bravely killed The Jesuan Historian and Predatee while going for a stroll.
[17:00 PM] Edgar Allan Dipsy possibly committed something of a faux pas by killing Adnan Khashoggi
[17:25 PM] Excessively Dangerous Thing killed Zephyr's innocent friend
[17:45 PM] RIAA assassin killed angsty livejournal entries (tautology you say? deal with it or i'll write some goth poetry...), before Ortho Rhombic shot him. Excessively Dangerous Thing then CPSed him, before being gunned down by Edgar Allan Dipsy.
[18:10 PM] A well-meaning but sadly misunderstood lizardman from Antares IV bopped into It's only a ____.
[18:15 PM] STEVE IS THE ENEMY killed VanOfDeath
[18:18 PM] A well-meaning but sadly misunderstood lizardman from Antares IV cooled The Mound Of Sound down.
[19:50 PM] FIRE IN THE DISCO! FIRE IN THE DISCO! FIRE IN THE... GATES OF CAIUS!
[20:34 PM] The Violating Viola killed The Elemental Lord of Malt Loaf in a pincer movement with binking in dread around Blue Boar... Mwa-ha-ha
[21:05 PM] A Heraldic Dolphin killed the absent-minded Jack
[22:11 PM] Ortho Rhombic gunned down Firestone as she tried to escape
[22:56 PM] Adnan Khashoggi rid the world of another terrorist
[23:00 PM] R0xx0r teh n00b Prince mercilessly murdered Adnan Khashoggi with added alliteration (and assonance)

Monday, 20 June

[11:27 AM] While on the toilet, Pope Nunchucks VII (and his sidekick Jesus) was killed by Tri Klinic
[12:40 PM] The Masters of the Bench of the Middle Temple arrested Lizziwizzy
[13:23 PM] The Violating Viola killed The Elemental Lord of Malt Loaf , just minutes after he had narrowly avoided Tri Klinic in a mad dash
[13:45 PM] Jar Jar was killed while at the Caius bar
[13:48 PM] The Masters of the Bench of the Middle Temple closed the case against R0xx0r teh n00b Prince
[14:05 PM] Tri Klinic bang killed The Mound Of Sound
[16:20 PM] Firestone killed Tigerbunny
[16:20 PM] Blasphemy (AKA Hump-phrey) and Tri Klinic lurked for A well-meaning but sadly misunderstood lizardman from Antares IV but came off slightly worse
[17:15 PM] Tri Klinic stabbed Pope Nunchucks VII (and his sidekick Jesus) so they could talk in peace
[17:45 PM] Poison Ivy picked off ET
[17:45 PM] Poison Ivy blasted Mr Bump
[17:50 PM] The Seagull of Uncertainity killed Jar Jar
[18:32 PM] Stephen McCann killed James Wardley
[19:05 PM] R0xx0r teh n00b Prince killed Adnan Khashoggi
[19:06 PM] The Elemental Lord of Malt Loaf took advantage of the confusion to stab R0xx0r teh n00b Prince in the back
[19:12 PM] lol internet
[19:15 PM] Tri Klinic rubber banded The Elemental Lord of Malt Loaf while in line for the ball
[19:30 PM] Having seen less-than-formal-wearers in the queue for May Ball, The Rampant Bunny threw a knife into Predatee's forehead... then retrieved it to kill Excessively Dangerous Thing
[20:02 PM] Never stand next to Steve McCann BOOM BOOM'd A well-meaning but sadly misunderstood lizardman from Antares IV with a rubber band to the face
[20:37 PM] The weapons master went hunting...
[21:58 PM] Le Renard Subtil shot The Mound Of Sound as he was leaving Sainsbury's
[23:40 PM] Edgar Allan Dipsy sliced The Elemental Lord of Malt Loaf

Tuesday, 21 June

[00:05 AM] Richard Gibson and Stephen McCann went looking for each other, were both pretty surprised when they found each other and then double-killed.
[01:42 AM] Adnan Khashoggi knifed Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr
[02:40 AM] A well-meaning but sadly misunderstood lizardman from Antares IV lost to The Umpire and Lauren Grest in a shooting contest.
[03:40 AM] Edgar Allan Dipsy checked his watch, and sliced The Elemental Lord of Malt Loaf a second time
[04:05 AM] A well-meaning but sadly misunderstood lizardman from Antares IV encircled and surprised Tigerbunny.
[05:03 AM] Adnan Khashoggi let A well-meaning but sadly misunderstood lizardman from Antares IV off.
[06:00 AM] Vitreous Luster knifed Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr *after* the end of the ball, thus not breaking a no-kill
[06:05 AM] A Heraldic Dolphin was up bright and early to catch Poison Ivy
[06:10 AM] Ortho Rhombic threw a knife at A Heraldic Dolphin, that was determined to have hit her in the head after much discussion
[07:38 AM] Tigerbunny killed Random Chance
[08:30 AM] Adnan Khashoggi killed alk in his sleep
[08:55 AM] Adnan Khashoggi shot The moving curtain
[11:35 AM] Random Chance and Tigerbunny shot one another
[15:14 PM] STEVE IS THE ENEMY killed RIAA assassin
[15:25 PM] A Heraldic Dolphin killed zi
[15:53 PM] Ortho Rhombic and Le Renard Subtil fought, but got nowhere
[16:10 PM] STEVE IS THE ENEMY shot a terrorist, making the world a safer place for all food-mixers
[16:30 PM] STEVE IS THE ENEMY killed James Wardley
[16:37 PM] STEVE IS THE ENEMY shot Giles Caulderwood from beneath revelations window, unfortunately 'the special one' did not witness this incident
[17:46 PM] Slaty Cleavage goes even more hypocritical by killing Pope Nunchucks VII (and his sidekick Jesus) again
[17:53 PM] Adnan Khashoggi killed The Penguin of Death
[17:55 PM] A well-meaning but sadly misunderstood lizardman from Antares IV went to a garden party with The moving curtain.
[18:55 PM] Vitreous Luster CPSed N88EP and an innocent
[19:00 PM] R0xx0r teh n00b Prince killed The Elemental Lord of Malt Loaf
[19:03 PM] R0xx0r teh n00b Prince killed Edgar Allan Dipsy
[19:04 PM] angsty livejournal entries (tautology you say? deal with it or i'll write some goth poetry...), whilst wearing only panties, killed R0xx0r teh n00b Prince
[21:15 PM] RIAA assassin brutally gunned down Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr
[22:58 PM] Never stand next to Steve McCann killed Le Renard Subtil
[23:10 PM] Blasphemy (AKA Hump-phrey) and Poison Ivy shot at and killed Firestone as binking in dread watched impassively...
[23:15 PM] Twinkle Toes killed Blasphemy (AKA Hump-phrey)
[23:15 PM] Poison Ivy killed Twinkle Toes
[23:15 PM] i reserve the right to scream killed Poison Ivy
[23:26 PM] STEVE IS THE ENEMY shot Le Renard Subtil outside of the Lion's Yard

Wednesday, 22 June

[00:37 AM] The Rampant Bunny killed hamster of doom
[01:05 AM] The Jesuan Historian used a cunning disguise against It's only a ____
[01:45 AM] Adnan Khashoggi should Never stand next to Steve McCann or all hell will break loose!
[03:20 AM] A well-meaning but sadly misunderstood lizardman from Antares IV encountered Random Chance on another one of his early morning constitutionals.
[11:32 AM] Soggy woke up and wasn't very pleased to see A well-meaning but sadly misunderstood lizardman from Antares IV.
[11:52 AM] Lachlan McLean not-so-subtly snuck up on The Sparrow of Doubt, but he was already dead
[12:35 PM] An assassin to rival the one in Mulholland Drive was casually slaughtered by I'm Feeling Plucky
[13:25 PM] STEVE IS THE ENEMY killed Mr Bump
[13:30 PM] The Lesser-Spotted Woodpecker of Ambiguity killed The Elemental Lord of Malt Loaf
[13:55 PM] Firestone casually knifed Random Chance
[13:55 PM] RIAA assassin killed Excessively Dangerous Thing
[15:40 PM] The Gentoo Penguin of Hesitation killed Jar Jar
[16:00 PM] Edgar Allan Dipsy tried to kill There are no problems with the Autoumpire, but clearly wasn't subtle enough and lost both his arms whilst being chased back towards angsty livejournal entries (tautology you say? deal with it or i'll write some goth poetry...), who double-killed with There are no problems with the Autoumpire
[16:42 PM] There are no problems with the Autoumpire jammed his gun at The Mound Of Sound
[17:10 PM] Slaty Cleavage shot Beware the Deadly Donkey falling slowly from the sky - You can CHOOSE the way you LIVE, my friend, but not the way you DIE while out punting
[17:10 PM] The Rampant Bunny killed A box labelled "All Things" while punting.
[17:30 PM] The Elemental Lord of Malt Loaf killed The Gentoo Penguin of Hesitation
[17:45 PM] STEVE IS THE ENEMY spent the grand total of 48 pounds and 80 pence on train tickets and taxis, in order to follow Edgar Allan Dipsy to london and ambush him in kingscross!
[18:00 PM] A well-meaning but sadly misunderstood lizardman from Antares IV welcomed bluebottle to the Guild with a friendly bang-kill.
[18:00 PM] Philip Bielby shot two innocents on a punt
[18:10 PM] A well-meaning but sadly misunderstood lizardman from Antares IV realised he hadn't seen zi for a few days so he popped in to shoot her.
[18:50 PM] A well-meaning but sadly misunderstood lizardman from Antares IV found Mort again.
[20:45 PM] Lachlan McLean not-so-subtly snuck up on The Sparrow of Doubt, but he was already dead
[22:50 PM] An assassin to rival the one in Mulholland Drive removed The weapons master's eye space
[23:05 PM] Twinkle Toes killed Mr Bump
[23:05 PM] hamster of doom killed ET

Thursday, 23 June

[00:15 AM] Beware the Deadly Donkey falling slowly from the sky - You can CHOOSE the way you LIVE, my friend, but not the way you DIE killed Predatee in a most mean (yet somehow humorous) way
[01:34 AM] R0xx0r teh n00b Prince joined the exclusive "I've killed Edward Saperia" club
[01:54 AM] Beware the Deadly Donkey falling slowly from the sky - You can CHOOSE the way you LIVE, my friend, but not the way you DIE bang killed The Gentoo Penguin of Hesitation out of boredom, then spent the rest of the trip home wondering whether this was a good thing...
[05:34 AM] Adnan Khashoggi killed The Mound Of Sound
[10:50 AM] Never stand next to Steve McCann killinated the nosey Michael Conterio
[12:07 PM] The Violating Viola and The Rampant Bunny CPS'ed The subtle knifer joyously from above, only to find that he was already dead, yet strangely up and about.
[12:20 PM] Predatee killed final requiem
[12:40 PM] A well-meaning but sadly misunderstood lizardman from Antares IV didn't think Mort would fall for it...again.
[12:50 PM] A well-meaning but sadly misunderstood lizardman from Antares IV said goodbye to The moving curtain.
[13:15 PM] A well-meaning but sadly misunderstood lizardman from Antares IV apologetically killed zi.
[13:31 PM] Le Renard Subtil shot Slaty Cleavage at the GCSU Garden Party
[14:20 PM] The Masters of the Bench of the Middle Temple put Tigerbunny out of her misery, before being caught off guard by RIAA assassin
[14:35 PM] The Masters of the Bench of the Middle Temple put Tigerbunny out of her misery, before being caught off guard by RIAA assassin
[14:50 PM] A well-meaning but sadly misunderstood lizardman from Antares IV, I don't think you're quite...alive....again....just....yet......
[15:17 PM] The weapons master shot An assassin to rival the one in Mulholland Drive in the back
[15:30 PM] STEVE IS THE ENEMY killed I'm Feeling Plucky
[15:36 PM] Stephen McCann shot i reserve the right to scream but then got spooked into shooting an innocent, such is life
[15:36 PM] STEVE IS THE ENEMY killed hamster of doom
[15:41 PM] Twinkle Toes killed angsty livejournal entries (tautology you say? deal with it or i'll write some goth poetry...)
[16:18 PM] Beware the Deadly Donkey falling slowly from the sky - You can CHOOSE the way you LIVE, my friend, but not the way you DIE killed Predatee...AGAIN!!
[16:55 PM] Omega killed Adnan Khashoggi
[17:00 PM] Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr degraded There are no problems with the Autoumpire
[17:00 PM] Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr degraded There are no problems with the Autoumpire
[17:55 PM] Pope Nunchucks VII (and his sidekick Jesus) attacked Le Renard Subtil, so Le Renard shot him
[17:57 PM] Slaty Cleavage had his revenge against Le Renard Subtil
[17:57 PM] Ortho Rhombic got his own back against Le Renard Subtil
[18:41 PM] James Gooding has just found out that STEVE IS THE ENEMY
[19:25 PM] The European Eagle Owl of Suspicion killed A box labelled "All Things"
[19:25 PM] The Fork-tailed Storm-Petrel of Hopelessness killed The Penguin of Death
[20:04 PM] binking in dread was misinformed, with tragic consequences
[21:30 PM] Slaty Cleavage knifed Bootross Bootross Garley while down the pub
[22:30 PM] A terrorist gave cause for some angsty livejournal entries (tautology you say? deal with it or i'll write some goth poetry...)
[22:46 PM] terrorist killed angsty livejournal entries (tautology you say? deal with it or i'll write some goth poetry...), but needs to learn that it's 'bang', not 'pow'...
[22:46 PM] Adnan Khashoggi killed another terrorist
[23:00 PM] Tri Klinic, Never stand next to Steve McCann and Adnan Khashoggi soaked a room containing A well-meaning but sadly misunderstood lizardman from Antares IV and A Heraldic Dolphin, but failed to kill either

Friday, 24 June

[01:03 AM] The Black-Throated Diver of Factual Inconsistency shot Vitreous Luster on the way to Gardies
[01:15 AM] STEVE IS THE ENEMY of The Sparrow of Doubt
[02:05 AM] STEVE IS THE ENEMY and doesn't sleep much either, as he killed an RIAA assassin
[03:50 AM] Dear Jack, I sort of killed you a bit. Hope you don't mind, A well-meaning but sadly misunderstood lizardman from Antares IV.
[09:00 AM] Vitreous Luster killed Pie Calf
[09:10 AM] STEVE IS THE ENEMY killed terrorist due to the key being in the outside of the door
[10:30 AM] Adnan Khashoggi also followed Edgar Allan Dipsy to London to kill him
[10:46 AM] Slaty Cleavage killed Pie Calf
[10:59 AM] A well-meaning but sadly misunderstood lizardman from Antares IV said his farewells to final requiem, The Penguin of Death and Beware the Deadly Donkey falling slowly from the sky - You can CHOOSE the way you LIVE, my friend, but not the way you DIE.
[11:00 AM] A well-meaning but sadly misunderstood lizardman from Antares IV killed A box labelled "All Things"
[11:10 AM] After a one and a half hour lurk of Newnham, Richard Gibson stood a little too close to Stephen McCann, but would nonetheless like to congratulate him on an excellent victory.
[12:53 PM] R0xx0r teh n00b Prince killed Pope Nunchucks VII (and his sidekick Jesus) over lunch
[13:17 PM] R0xx0r teh n00b Prince contemplated the idea that the Time field in the "Add Event" form should be made more prominent
[13:20 PM] Excessively Dangerous Thing showed The Jesuan Historian why we keep starting fires
[13:25 PM] Adnan Khashoggi killed bluebottle
[13:27 PM] Adnan Khashoggi killed zi
[14:02 PM] Tigerbunny gunned down RIAA assassin in front of his own mother
[14:15 PM] Firestone saw off a spirited counter-attack from Adnan Khashoggi
[14:20 PM] FIRE IN THE DISCO! showed The Jesuan Historian why we keep starting fires
[14:29 PM] final requiem killed evil maths paper which has been known to kill many many innocents
[14:40 PM] A Heraldic Dolphin bled to death after fleeing from Adnan Khashoggi.
[15:07 PM] FIRE IN THE DISCO! showed The Mound Of Sound his place on the ladder
[15:27 PM] hamster of doom squirted I'm Feeling Plucky but felt guilty after hearing about all his misfortunes
[15:30 PM] The terrifying hamster of doom descended upon poor Christopher J Jenkins and tore out his spleen.
[16:00 PM] Adnan Khashoggi wreaked vengeance on N88EP and Omega
[18:03 PM] Ortho Rhombic killed Mathmo Chris as he waxed lyrical about the maths tripos.
[18:05 PM] Beware the Deadly Donkey falling slowly from the sky - You can CHOOSE the way you LIVE, my friend, but not the way you DIE killed Zephyr, on a Field trip
[18:43 PM] Vitreous Luster and Adnan Khashoggi double killed

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