nikilla reports:
at the emma event i managed to take Simon McVittie by suprise by garroting him from behind
although i might have managed to blind Simon McVittie whilst doing it
Supposed Mutilation of Cattle by Venusians reports:
As I was enjoying a quiet pint outside the bar (having forgotten that Nickie was likely to respawn soon), I felt a garotte around, um, my eyes. Eh? Sadly, my perfectionism overwhelmed my survival instinct: "nonono, you're doing it wrong. You put the garotte around the neck, see, like this... oh, crap".
Zombie Locky reports:
I walked back along Grange Road, when I was passed on bicycles by the charming Julia Bichard and the lovely Laura Ingle. Laura waved and said "Hi!", and then I set off after them. I heard squeals, and they cycled faster and out of range of my Triple Aggressor.
Dammit.
Wolfman reports:
12:28 am...
Nothing special. In Pembroke. Heard that Red October joined up simply because Red October wasn't a common enough psuedonym. Used the Eye of Argon to get into his room. Watched Back to the Future 3. Bang-killed Red October. He didn't seem to mind.
A collection of singing potatoes reports:
Why is it always Back to the Future 3 that people watch? I've never heard of anyone going back to someone's room to watch Back to the Future 1 or 2. I'm starting to think that the first two never existed, and the whole thing was a cunning marketing ploy to get people to buy the same film three times.
The Seven Deadly Sins reports:
I carried on down Grange Road and turned off at West Road, hoping to bump into Maz. My wish was granted, except that my 3xAggressor was a bit of a giveaway and he ran shrieking back into Harvey Court as I lumbered after him with all sorts of weaponry threatening to fall out of my pockets. Coward!
Matthew Garrett reports:
I was returning from a pleasant evening watching FLAMING STAFF AND CLUB MANIPULATION, hoping that perhaps there would be a "food" van on West Road. Maybe I would find R & S "Indian" Foods, purveyors of all things non-Indian. Or maybe A GREAT BIG GINGER MAN WITH A SUPER SOAKER. It looked quite big, and I was quite tired, so I decided that cowardice was the better part of valour, and ran.
I later discovered that it was one of the new Super Soakers. Maybe I should have stayed and fought him.
Zombie Locky reports:
Having passed three assassins without success, I headed back to the eventful Orgasm Bridge pathway (called "Orgasm Bridge" because it takes ages to get up it and you come down the other side really quickly, I hear). From behind a group of people, I could make out Adam. Then JJ. Then Carrie. Then Kirsty. Then Tom Garnett.
As I stood pondering the odds of MeAndAHugeWaterWeapon versus an undetermined number of live assassins numbering no more than five, I suddenly realised that Mr Biggleworth was a few metres ahead of the rest of the group and standing right in front of me, and I levelled the 3xAggressor at her.
"No Locky please don't!" "Why not?" "Cos I'm wearing nice clothes :-(" [Change to RBG] [Clickyclicky] "And I'm dead already." "Uuuhm, that would be a slightly better reason."
Zombie Locky reports:
Carrie moaned that they all wanted to go home and sleep. Being so inclined myself, I could understand their plight. A 6-way firefight would be interesting but silly, and I didn't want to go all the way around the Backs to avoid them. Then again, meeting 9 assassins in an evening and killing none of them would be pretty lame.
Then The Tigerbunny of Dhooom!!! charged me while I contemplated Tom's offer of peace. I offered her a supersoaker, and she stopped and ran back to the group. In the end we agreed to a truce, and walked past each other peacefully.
I then spent nearly 45 minutes giving careers advice to a 2nd year Girton lawyer, before walking all the way back to Mill Road via St Paul's Road.
Man am I tired...
Mr. Fluffy Ex-Umpire reports:
Upon returning to Clare after a wearing evening of stalking other assassins around various parts of Cambridge my companion suggested returning through a side entrance to avoid anyone waiting in ambush. I countered that the main entrance provided fewer opportunities for an ambusher and so received my comeuppance a few minutes later when a madwoman in a tree opened fire with an oversized weapon.
Zombie Locky reports:
I know cats like climbing trees, but wtf were you doing up there?
Good skillz though!
Matthew Garrett reports:
Dear Johannes,
Thank you for waving to me through your window as I left your staircase. I now know what you look like.
Love, Matthew.
Deuce reports:
Getting up before 11, which I think is a first for this term, I wandered into town to get some antihistamines and hopefully some sort of water weapon. As I emerged from Sainsburies, however, I bumped into a friend from college who quickly engaged me in conversation. While I was talking, I spotted Maz across the road, and instinctively went for my gun, as he produced his. A brief comparison of weapons showed his to be superior and more numerous, so I ran. I managed to get quite far before slowing down to see if he was still following me, at which point he shot me repeatedly in the back.
I really need a water weapon of some description.
Matthew Garrett reports:
Dear Tom,
In order to avoid messy deaths, I suggest carrying heavier weapons when going to visit Sainsbury's, just in case someone spots you. Water weapons are good outside, although possibly not suitable for putting out GREAT BIG FLAMING CHEMICAL FIRES.
If someone does spot you, but doesn't attack immediately, a good choice is to walk away slowly and casually: they might not be sure whether you're playing or not. A bad choice is to draw a weapon and approach the person, run off when you see that they are more heavily armed, then stop halfway down the street to see if they've stopped chasing you.
Lots of love, Matthew.
The Eye of Argon reports:
The Eye was moving again...I hoped to gain staggering information from the blue-haired imp of Doom but my bold quest was interrupted by nefarious Matthew Garrett who struck foolishly from in front. Drawing my intermediate water weapon with a reanimated arm I struck off! After inconclusive warring I smote off his wrist! He fled nobbly and I pursued. After eternal Time had passed he dropped weaponry and as he stooped to regain it I swiftly swooped, leaving only a gore-soaked corpse. But the quick Imp had vanished... My Quest continues! The multi-fauceted emerald will be mine!
Matthew Garrett reports:
Dear Matthew,
When attacking someone with a bigger weapon than you, approaching stealthily or charging them to take them by surprise may work. Duelling in the street might not.
Lots of love and kisses, Matthew.
Dear Matthew's Coat,
If you hold onto weapons you are less likely to suffer SOAKING PLASTIC ANAL VIOLATION.
Lots of love, Matthew.
hoopla! reports:
44.
Victor Fries reports:
I spotted The man with a rubber band, somewhere on his person, at least 80% of the time. Not really that hard to kill, and is unlikely to be running around or stuff. coming out of Sainsburys and pointed him out to Ivy. As he didn't bother with being paranoid and didn't look behind him, Ivy just bang-killed him.
Victor Fries reports:
I spotted her as she came walking up Green Street, but when I tried to kill her she fled into a shop and immediately started to phone people. Therefore we retreated via a convulted route.
Victor Fries reports:
After our previous encounter with Bryony we were retreating through Sidney Sussex to avoid contact with her allies. When we turned a corner Withnail suddenly wheeled his bike past us and was immediately shot by Ivy.
Winifred reports:
So, Rosie saw me wander out of Christs with a couple of other assassins but lost sight of us. She decided to wander along to see where we'd got to.
So, we ambled out of Christs and into the Bun Shop. And who should we see stroll innocently past the window? You guessed it.
Reacting with lightning swiftness, I grabbed Simeon's supersoaker and bang killed her. It is kind of exasperating to bang-kill someone with a supersoaker, but she did request it. I'm nice like that.
The Revenge of Neo-Shadow-Teppic reports:
Dodged round the bun shop for a while, but he finally got the drop on me. Damn.
Winifred reports:
So, with Rosie despatched I decide to ramble round the block. And Bryony espies me. And follows me. And loses sight of me. And wanders past the Bun Shop... See where I'm going with this?
hoopla! reports:
Running around Jesus area Bus chasing, I espied a large supersoaker followed closely by a Corkscrew coming the other way and tried to ambush him from a balcony, but was foiled by his cunning strategy of walking down the other side of the road and turning the other way, damn his scheming ways. I followed from a distance, but lost him in the crowd as I was distracted by the event of MY BUS going past with my rather deceased looking mafia accomplice. Running quickly to get round the corner and refind my target (and heneceto the bus station) I neglected to inspect the prime nesting ground of ChriMaf, the pub, and was promptly bang killed by an AbF.
Leader of the People's Democratic Kakistocracy reports:
Freeschool Lane, happen to spot them after praying and praying, their backs turned I stalked them for about 20m, at which point they utterly vanished. Possibly inside a building.
Leader of the People's Democratic Kakistocracy reports:
Adam, Xanth, Myself, bump into ChriMaf at the other end of Green Street. They run towards us. I duck behind a pillar. Two run past, I venture out, I see them, I think they see me, take my chances behind the pillar but I was snuck around and killed.
Bladud reports:
I didn't recognise Brian Eats Brains. He would have been fine had he not shouted "crap" and run madly towards me without drawing a weapon.
Brian Eats Brains reports:
Can't say I 'ran madly' towards anyone - I did say 'feck' and try to get away. Since I'd been shot yesterday by the same guy, it seemed a reasonable assumption he'd recognise me.
Death Becomes Her (far too often) reports:
Saw Johannes in Market Square. Shot him. The end.
Wolfman reports:
6:43pm... Damn. Let her sneak up on me. Shot Ed S under the impression he was Tom Booth. Haha.
Victor Fries reports:
Walking around with huge gun shaped objects on you is just not subtle.
Deuce reports:
We've tried, Bjoern, we've tried.
Wolfman reports:
OOPS WRONG BUTTON - UMPIRE PLEASE DELETE
Wolfman reports:
6.43 pm...
She thought he was Tom Booth... how funny.
Ivy reports:
He was walking with Ed Heaney and had kinda the same hair as Tom Booth from behind.
Also, I would suggest that Ed Saperia deserves to be soaked, and this should merit a bonus rather than be penalised.
Deuce reports:
Ed, this incident would probably be more amusing if it hadn't been reported twice already. By you.
Although the implication that I could be confused with any assassiny Eds is rather disturbing. As they said in the film, "does my hair really look like that from the back?!"
Ice Cream You Scream We All Scream With Die Screams reports:
I got back quite late from Huntingdon, and ambled awa' towards the pavillion on Parker's Piece. As I returned from it, still contemplating the paltry amount of ice cream I had gotten for my one pound fifty, I espied from a very very very long way away the distinctive figure of a Xanth. I kept walking towards him, sure in my mind that at any second soon he would see me and extract enormous great supersoakers from concealed places. Suddenly I was within attacking range.
He didn't see me.
[Runveryfastclickyclickyclickyclicky]
Poor guy was half dead with exhaustion, and not entirely awake.
Can't Stop The Rock reports:
Having spent the entire day walking in too much heat with far too much stuff not actually getting much done at all, I broke off from a group to pick up a birthday present that had ended up way over in the weird post office place further out than the Grafton. Not only did this involve a lot of walking and a lot more heat, I then couldn't find the place before it shut (so yes, I do have to go back at some point). After searching for a drink in vain, my presence was requested far away quickly. I couldn't run, so had to go by the most direct route, already far out of it from the heat, exhaustion and dejection of the failures over the last few days.
A euthanasia kill if ever I've heard of one. Rather Locky than a random assassin in the street, which would have been Ed Heaney in this case.
(I'm really rather tired as I type this, so I apologise if this comes out sounding self-pitying, which was not the aim at all but really sounds like it on reading back)
$I_L reports:
Walking along, looked round corner and lo - Philip Bridge was wandering towards me. How kind of him. Ducking back I gave him a couple more seconds to get closer while I drew my weapon, then jumped out and put him out of his misery. I'm nice like that.
ahdok reports:
I might have distcacted poor Phil a bit... he did seem a bit worried about me...
Ivy reports:
Two guys with supersoakers. You know the drill.
The Prinny Squad reports:
what's the matter Dood!
hoopla! reports:
45. Should have been Maz's. Hoopla!
Victor Fries reports:
Our intelligence sources revealed that Wei Xu was having a bottle of wine with friends in a random staircase. So we went there and asked for him, but he was not there. Luckily his friends managed to find him quickly and so he came out of the staircase trying to see who had been looking for him. When he did we shot him.
The Eye of Argon reports:
The glorious band known to some as ChriMaf were hunting through the streets of Cambridge. It was a dark and actually rather warm night. I espied a suspicious looking character tampering with bikes, and gradually sliding his hand towards his jeans pocket. He had blond hair. And he stared at me as if plotting murder...
After a brief in-walk consultation, we determined to test our theory. Was he a killer? We decided that the best way to know for sure was to shoot first, ask questions later. We wheeled around and approached the hapless victim again. Dressed as I was in dark blue and black clothing, I must have seemed to materialise into the streetlight he was standing under. I smoothly drew my trusty RBG and pointed it at him. His eyes widened.
"Whats up?" he squeaked. I thought fast. This was an unlikely response for an assassin in May Week.
"Nothing." I replied nonchalantly as I slid my RBG back into my pocket and walked on down the road. The lack of a bullet in my back in yet more evidence that he was just another hapless innocent.
{If it was you we met outside Cauis, feel free to change this...}
Victor Fries reports:
We felt like murdering a portion of chips. Wolfman was holding them at the time.
Ivy reports:
Ran into him on Market Square, snabbled him.
Headlines | UpdatesProduced at Thu Jun 24 18:53:57 2004