Lent 2004 Game Updates

New on Sunday, 04 April:

[07 Mar 16:30] Michael Richards defeated the other four survivors in the final duel
[01 Feb 18:08] Gordon Ball (Aesahettr AKA Marvin) was shot in the back by Michael Richards
[01 Feb 17:55] Aesahettr shot an innocent
[01 Feb 19:12] Aesahettr's booby trap killed the incompetent Iain Ezra Macdonald (quiet)
[01 Feb 19:58] Aesahettr's other booby trap killed Alasdair North (Ish-Bosheth)
[31 Jan 22:02] Aesahettr bombed the wanted criminal Nick Wood (Drunken Chunky Monkey)
[01 Feb 17:45] Adam Baird Fraser and others didn't kill Scoop Rinse Wobble Wobble Flush Your Tooth Down A Booth Mr Woof Whistle Thing Shark Up
[01 Feb 16:40] PC Jar-Jar shot the incompetent Ian McCann (Bob)

New on Saturday, 03 April:

[02 Mar 17:00] Jenny Chase made an attempt on Simon Ford's washing line
[01 Mar 12:00] Jenny Chase declined to kill Michael Brooks
[28 Feb 10:00] Neo lurked for Michael Richards
[13 Feb 13:35] The Sunshine Suicide Squad killed David Birch (PC Hawsker) and three innocents
[07 Mar 01:00] Stephen McCann left a very large bomb for Aidan Robison

New on Thursday, 25 March:

[09 Feb 17:24] Agent Corkscrew unsuccessfully tried to bomb Jail house rock
[06 Feb 20:00] PC Hawsker shot IFf's ghost

New on Sunday, 07 March:

[07 Mar 05:00] A truce was declared

New on Friday, 05 March:

[02 Mar 15:30] Catherine Hall searched unsuccessfully for Simon Ford
[04 Mar 16:10] [CoPM] Byrony Baines visited Catherine Hall
[02 Mar 10:00] Sinistar did another unsuccessful lurk

New on Wednesday, 03 March:

[03 Mar 09:55] Michael Brooks ambushed Jenny Chase (The voices in Mike's bed AKA [CoPM] Simone Jenny Fordette AKA Neo)
[03 Mar 12:05] Stephen McCann fought off the attack of Simon Ford (Janet Jackson's Nipple Tassel AKA Miss Teen Oklahoma)

New on Tuesday, 02 March:

[29 Feb 12:00] [CoPM] Byrony Baines was lurking too
[29 Feb 12:00] A cute little pokute lurked for Michael Richards
[01 Mar 13:20] Simon Ford failed to ambush Stephen McCann
[26 Feb 16:07] [CoPM] Byrony Baines didn't die to Simon Ford's letter
[26 Feb 21:32] Michael Richards wasn't blown up by Pemmer either
[26 Feb 21:31] Michael Richards also survived a letterbomb from Y2J
[26 Feb 21:30] Michael Richards survived a poison letter from Dalriada
[26 Feb 18:45] Michael Brooks also survived Simon Ford's letter
[26 Feb 11:55] Simon Ford's cunning letter didn't kill Stephen McCann
[25 Feb 21:00] Miss Teen Dungeon Simon Forded all the people
[25 Feb 22:00] Miss Teen Dungeon didn't kill Catherine Hall

New on Thursday, 26 February:

[26 Feb 20:00] Police Chief Just Add Water mutilated the corpse of PC Stealer of Hats
[26 Feb 18:30] Simeon Bird (PC Stealer of Hats)'s spree was cut short by Agent The Reformed and Benevolent Sir Maxwell D'Hammeur Argentiere BSc SSc AKA [CoPM] One of Mike Cripps' minions
[25 Feb 18:10] PC Stealer of Hats continued trying to rampage
[25 Feb 12:00] PC Stealer of Hats got bored
[24 Feb 21:00] Miss Teen Dungeon Simon Forded Jenny Chase
[26 Feb 11:01] Catherine Hall counter-ambushed Michael Cripps ([CoPM] The King AKA Michaela Cripps)
[23 Feb 20:55] Pemmer couldn't get into his target's room
[23 Feb 19:05] Michael Brooks didn't letterbomb Neill Campbell
[23 Feb 08:45] Neo lurked some more
[24 Feb 18:15] Janet Jackson's Nipple Tassel didn't blow up Michael Brooks
[26 Feb 10:02] [CoPM] Simone Jenny Fordette assassinated Neill Campbell (Presley, Elvis)

New on Tuesday, 24 February:

[23 Feb 13:59] Aidan Robison was also trying to kill Michael Richards
[23 Feb 13:58] Michael Richards had an exciting encounter with Jenny Chase

New on Monday, 23 February:

[20 Feb 16:35] Michael Brooks spotted The Eighteenth Century Enlightenment Duellist (Please play Handel's 'Sarabande' as he approaches) planting a bomb
[20 Feb 18:35] Deputy Police Chief Div met Sideshow Barbara's ghost
[20 Feb 17:29] Sideshow Barbara complained of textual harassment
[20 Feb 13:15] Dalriada failed to find his victim
[17 Feb 10:52] PC Fallen Minion of Yorck couldn't find Astral Surfer
[18 Feb 22:45] Stephen McCann saw some dead drunk assassins
[17 Feb 08:30] Neo lurked for a target
[18 Feb 23:20] Agent IFf visited Sideshow Barbara
[20 Feb 14:35] Catherine Hall opened a parcel from Sinistar
[17 Feb 09:25] Michael Brooks stood in the rain
[17 Feb 14:50] Michael Cripps continued to flirt with Sideshow Barbara
[17 Feb 07:40] PC Fallen Minion of Yorck couldn't get at one-three-seven
[16 Feb 11:00] Someone with suspicious hair made an attempt on Dalriada

New on Sunday, 22 February:

[22 Feb 14:45] Agent The Reformed and Benevolent Sir Maxwell D'Hammeur Argentiere BSc SSc AKA [CoPM] One of Mike Cripps' minions killed Johannes Nordstrom (Deputy Police Chief Div)
[22 Feb 14:35] [CoPM] The King blew up Seth Thevoz (The Eighteenth Century Enlightenment Duellist (Please play Handel's 'Sarabande' as he approaches))

New on Friday, 20 February:

[20 Feb 18:02] PC The Reformed and Benevolent Sir Maxwell D'Hammeur Argentiere BSc SSc AKA [CoPM] One of Mike Cripps' minions killed the most evil criminal Lauren Grest (Sideshow Barbara)

New on Thursday, 19 February:

[19 Feb 18:00] PC 666 failed to set up the corrupt Deputy Police Chief Div
[19 Feb 14:15] Michael Richards piratically killed Jon Jowett (Astral Surfer)

New on Wednesday, 18 February:

[18 Feb 11:00] Miss Teen Oklahoma killed Chris Field (Melvis)
[17 Feb 09:45] [CoPM] Byrony Baines was lurking for Neo
[17 Feb 09:10] Also lurking was kthxdie >:[
[17 Feb 08:45] Jon Jowett lurked outside his target's lecture
[16 Feb 19:08] PC Sunshine vaguely tried to kill Jon Jowett
[16 Feb 22:01] Jon Jowett also survived the bomb from Thy Dungeonman
[16 Feb 22:00] Jon Jowett wasn't killed by a bomb from Simon Ford
[17 Feb 23:05] Deputy Police Chief Div shot another innocent
[17 Feb 18:10] Deputy Police Chief Div killed an innocent who wasn't Sideshow Barbara

New on Tuesday, 17 February:

[17 Feb 16:50] Sinistar hungered for Niall Taylor (one-three-seven)
[16 Feb 15:30] Sinistar's bomb didn't kill Simon Ford
[16 Feb 13:20] [CoPM] Simone Jenny Fordette left a gift for Sideshow Barbara
[16 Feb 11:00] The Eighteenth Century Enlightenment Duellist (Please play Handel's 'Sarabande' as he approaches)'s card didn't kill Sideshow Barbara
[15 Feb 14:50] [CoPM] The King didn't kill The Eighteenth Century Enlightenment Duellist (Please play Handel's 'Sarabande' as he approaches)

New on Monday, 16 February:

[16 Feb 10:00] Adam Baird Fraser (Animal Rights Activists) was shot dead outside lectures by Stephen McCann

New on Sunday, 15 February:

[15 Feb 15:40] Victoria Kowalkowski (666) died at the hand of [CoPM] The King
[14 Feb 17:35] Pemmer's bomb didn't get 666
[14 Feb 15:46] Michael Brooks also survived a bomb from Presley, Elvis
[14 Feb 15:45] Michael Brooks survived a bomb from Melvis
[15 Feb 13:30] Police Chief Just Add Water finally emptied the Wanted List by disposing of Lee Lewin (Moose Hunter)

New on Saturday, 14 February:

[13 Feb 11:00] Sideshow Barbara left a note for Michael Cripps
[14 Feb 06:40] Jenny Chase killed Alan Cunningham (Internet Reject)
[13 Feb 16:41] Moose Hunter killed the technically-innocent Ed Nokes
[13 Feb 15:53] Jonathan Hogg (SWAT Commander Jar-Jar) and the evil criminal Bryony Baines (The Sunshine Suicide Squad AKA Harbinger AKA Weaponth of math Dethtruction) shot one another
[13 Feb 15:40] The Sunshine Suicide Squad blew up and then shot a complete innocent
[13 Feb 17:20] Moose Hunter found The Sunshine Suicide Squad's bomb
[13 Feb 16:30] The Sunshine Suicide Squad's poison didn't get Deputy Police Chief Just Add Water
[13 Feb 13:45] SWAT Commander Jar-Jar made a cunning attempt to locate The Sunshine Suicide Squad
[13 Feb 08:31] A cute little pokute's poisoned letter came less close to killing The Sunshine Suicide Squad
[13 Feb 08:30] A cute little pokute's letterbomb nearly killed The Sunshine Suicide Squad
[13 Feb 07:00] The Sunshine Suicide Squad was interrupted while leaving a surprise for PC Haggis Hunter
[12 Feb 16:55] sir reginald duke of chutney made an attempt
[13 Feb 16:25] Moose Hunter's contact poison miraculously failed to kill Michael Richards
[12 Feb 19:30] Harbinger's letter bomb killed the real Ariane Standing (sir reginald duke of chutney)
[13 Feb 12:50] E. Presley shot Martin O'Leary (Jim the Elvis Impersonator AKA La Belle Dame Sans Merci)
[12 Feb 17:30] La Belle Dame Sans Merci lurked a little

New on Friday, 13 February:

[13 Feb 15:20] The Sunshine Suicide Squad killed Robert Chipperfield (PC Evil Weapons Inc.)
[13 Feb 12:10] The Sunshine Suicide Squad's bomb didn't kill SWAT Commander Jar-Jar
[13 Feb 13:25] The Sunshine Suicide Squad killed Leo Howell (PC Too Stupid To Be Alive)
[13 Feb 11:40] The Sunshine Suicide Squad didn't poison Agent Rabid Squirrel
[13 Feb 11:20] The Sunshine Suicide Squad didn't poison PC Too Stupid To Be Alive
[13 Feb 08:57] The Sunshine Suicide Squad AKA Harbinger AKA Weaponth of math Dethtruction blew up Stuart Moore (Police Chief One of these days I'll actually get around to killing something, or at least being mildly threatening, all the Oxfodians doing their research will think I'm a useless wimp who can't actually play but I can, GRRRRRR! See, you were scared! Now imagine that coming at you with a donut in one hand and a sword in the other, and we'll see who gets the jam)
[12 Feb 18:50] Harbinger AKA Weaponth of math Dethtruction killed someone who wasn't actually sir reginald duke of chutney after all

New on Thursday, 12 February:

[09 Feb 17:00] Chris Field wasn't killed
[11 Feb 11:50] Blood Is The Best Lubricant did some lurking
[11 Feb 22:50] Michael Cripps left a note for Sideshow Barbara

New on Wednesday, 11 February:

[11 Feb 11:55] Michael Mann (Michaelangelo) blew himself up
[11 Feb 08:00] Michaelangelo survived another bomb from kthxdie >:[
[11 Feb 08:10] Ed Thomas (Anton Collinski) was blown up by a present from PC IFf
[10 Feb 22:34] 666 went hunting
[10 Feb 21:15] Police Chief One of these days I'll actually get around to killing something, or at least being mildly threatening, all the Oxfodians doing their research will think I'm a useless wimp who can't actually play but I can, GRRRRRR! See, you were scared! Now imagine that coming at you with a donut in one hand and a sword in the other, and we'll see who gets the jam and the SWAT team took revenge on Ross Edmondson (PC Kakariki)
[10 Feb 12:10] Internet Reject once again didn't outwit Chris Field
[07 Feb 21:30] The late Police Chief Sir Oban Glenmoray MacTalisker KBE BA Hons (Cantab.) made a particularly implausible attempt on some unsuspecting assassins
[08 Feb 16:10] Elvis yet again failed to kill 666

New on Tuesday, 10 February:

[07 Feb 21:45] Catherine Hall also couldn't find Ginger northerner
[07 Feb 21:30] Catherine Hall failed to find Michaelangelo
[07 Feb 14:06] one-three-seven failed to find Ginger northerner
[05 Feb 15:20] The Eighteenth Century Enlightenment Duellist (Please play Handel's 'Sarabande' as he approaches) met a suspicious character
[10 Feb 09:50] Simon Ford dispatched Edward Allcutt (Mother Goose)
[09 Feb 16:11] Neo made an attempt on one of his targets
[09 Feb 00:25] The corrupt PC Kakariki discovered a bomb from PC Stealer of Hats
[08 Feb 22:33] PC Evil Weapons Inc.'s bomb didn't kill sir reginald duke of chutney
[10 Feb 00:05] Adam Baird Fraser killed the treacherous Steve Pettitt (PC Teepee)
[09 Feb 23:41] PC Rabid Squirrel fought off the attack of Philip Maltas (H.R)
[09 Feb 23:40] H.R ambushed Alex Labram (Agent Corkscrew)
[09 Feb 22:55] PC Div caught Thomas de Rivaz (Jail house rock) leaving the scene of last week's killings

New on Monday, 09 February:

[09 Feb 09:20] Thy Dungeonman's bombe of poisone killeth Caroline Fabre (Lutin Malicieux)
[08 Feb 11:51] kthxdie >:[ sent Bilen Ahmet (G.I.Bob) into orbit
[09 Feb 09:01] Duncan Brewer (Pelvis AKA Elvis) left the building at the hands of Bryony Baines
[09 Feb 02:00] New police administration announced

New on Sunday, 08 February:

[08 Feb 15:50] Michael Cripps failed to strike back against Sideshow Barbara
[08 Feb 13:00] The Eighteenth Century Enlightenment Duellist (Please play Handel's 'Sarabande' as he approaches) cunningly dispatched his attacker, Simeon Bird (Uncountable (2^1257787-1)/(2^1398269-1) AKA Uncountable 4)
[08 Feb 12:35] Uncountable 4 was surprised while planting a bomb for Michael Brooks
[07 Feb 10:23] A rabid squirrel's letterbomb finally arrived, killing Emily Luckhurst (the tractor princess)
[08 Feb 10:10] Melvis didn't blow up Michaelangelo
[06 Feb 15:20] La Belle Dame Sans Merci's letterbomb didn't kill Adam Baird Fraser
[08 Feb 09:36] Michaelangelo wasn't blown up by kthxdie >:[
[07 Feb 12:00] Moose Hunter misidentified an innocent as his target
[07 Feb 12:55] Astral Surfer's target wasn't in
[07 Feb 14:25] Sideshow Barbara didn't find her target
[07 Feb 14:18] PC Corkscrew couldn't find Michaelangelo
[05 Feb 15:30] Uncountable 4 visited Russ Williams again
[07 Feb 16:40] Jail house rock politely declined to kill someone
[07 Feb 12:43] G.I.Bob killed another innocent
[07 Feb 19:10] Pemmer aborted an attempt on Joan N.
[08 Feb 02:50] Pemmer's sneaky trap didn't kill Dalriada
[07 Feb 21:49] Niall Taylor killed the incompetent Diana O'Carroll (Ginger northerner)
[06 Feb 08:40] kthxdie >:[ made a lame attempt
[07 Feb 15:58] Adam Baird Fraser failed to find the tractor princess
[07 Feb 16:05] Agent Corkscrew couldn't find Jail house rock
[07 Feb 15:45] Adam Baird Fraser brought down the nefarious Nathan Bowler (Joan N.)
[07 Feb 16:39] Presley, Elvis's bomb poisoned Matt Farr (Matt F)

New on Saturday, 07 February:

[07 Feb 13:00] New Chief of Police sworn in

New on Friday, 06 February:

[06 Feb 13:07] Joan N. took revenge on Tom Woolford (Ptolemy)
[05 Feb 16:50] G.I.Bob continued to rampage
[06 Feb 15:30] Jail house rock killed another innocent, almost with cause
[06 Feb 16:30] Miss Teen Oklahoma's letter didn't kill A cute little pokute
[06 Feb 13:38] Jenny Chase successfully ambushed Russ Williams (A rabid squirrel)
[06 Feb 14:04] La Belle Dame Sans Merci's letterbomb succeeded in killing Jamie Horder (Zarathustra)
[06 Feb 14:03] Gho5t's letter failed to kill Zarathustra
[04 Feb 15:30] sir reginald duke of chutney received a non-poisonous letter from the ghost of The three of clubs
[04 Feb 17:45] PC Teepee also didn't get Ginger northerner
[04 Feb 17:40] PC Teepee didn't get the incompetent Michaelangelo
[04 Feb 11:50] Gho5t survived Weaponth of math Dethtruction's bomb
[28 Jan 15:40] Professor Nutbutter didn't blow up Michaelangelo
[31 Jan 16:08] A rabid squirrel's letter didn't kill Michaelangelo
[04 Feb 18:55] Edward Allcutt failed to kill Neill Campbell
[05 Feb 23:40] The corrupt PC Kakariki killed the equally corrupt Ed Saperia (PC CyberDog)

New on Thursday, 05 February:

[05 Feb 20:20] Michaelangelo fought off the attack of Gordon Ball (PC Chronitis)
[05 Feb 13:12] G.I.Bob continued to rampage through Jesus, killing Paul Fox (PC with the Golden Gown)
[04 Feb 19:27] G.I.Bob poisoned PC with the Golden Gown's doorhandle
[05 Feb 13:15] Blood Is The Best Lubricant killed the incompetent Paul Cameron (The Haggis Hunter)
[05 Feb 14:19] Ptolemy set up and killed John-Joseph Wilks (Angelus)
[05 Feb 11:10] Gho5t's ghost found a bomb from Blood Is The Best Lubricant
[05 Feb 09:00] Paul Scrivens (Gho5t) found evidence of Weaponth of math Dethtruction
[04 Feb 11:45] 666's letter poisoned Jonathan Woollgar (A Fallen Minion of Yorck)
[04 Feb 14:02] Ptolemy killed an innocent who was making an attempt on him
[04 Feb 14:35] G.I.Bob went on his own killing spree, incidentally killing David O'Doherty (Caligula)
[04 Feb 12:40] Caligula tried to illegally murder G.I.Bob, but failed
[01 Feb 21:15] A group calling themselves "The League Of Extraordinary Jesuans" went hunting incompetents

New on Wednesday, 04 February:

[03 Feb 23:33] 666 didn't kill anyone

New on Tuesday, 03 February:

[03 Feb 22:58] Michael Cripps killed the incompetent Joseph Lindsay (Scoop Rinse Wobble Wobble Flush Your Tooth Down A Booth Mr Woof Whistle Thing Shark Up)
[03 Feb 22:00] Elvis tried to blow up 666
[03 Feb 19:55] PC Kakariki made an ineffective attempt to kill the Umpire
[03 Feb 11:49] Anton Collinski made an inconclusive attempt
[31 Jan 13:50] sir reginald duke of chutney still didn't find his target
[31 Jan 10:30] sir reginald duke of chutney didn't find his target
[01 Feb 21:30] Uncountable (2^1257787-1)/(2^1398269-1) found quiet but didn't kill him
[01 Feb 21:15] Uncountable (2^1257787-1)/(2^1398269-1) visited Ginger northerner
[01 Feb 20:35] Bourbon Creams also refused Uncountable (2^1257787-1)/(2^1398269-1) entry
[01 Feb 19:25] The Haggis Hunter wouldn't open the door to Uncountable (2^1257787-1)/(2^1398269-1)
[01 Feb 19:10] Uncountable (2^1257787-1)/(2^1398269-1) found no sign of quiet
[01 Feb 19:00] Uncountable (2^1257787-1)/(2^1398269-1) couldn't get at The swine
[01 Feb 14:30] Uncountable (2^1257787-1)/(2^1398269-1) briefly visited the late Drunken Chunky Monkey
[02 Feb 15:50] Bourbon Creams opened a letter from E. Presley
[02 Feb 15:51] Bourbon Creams' ghost wasn't impressed with Zarathustra's letter
[03 Feb 18:00] IFf's ghost was shot while reading Astral Surfer's poisoned letter
[03 Feb 13:45] Internet Reject was photographed by Moose Hunter while delivering a poisoned letter
[01 Feb 13:04] Thy Dungeonman did maketh his own attempte on Alasdair North
[01 Feb 12:03] Neo's letterbomb never even got to Alasdair North
[01 Feb 14:20] Ginger northerner didn't find her target
[02 Feb 22:10] Elvis almost died attacking 666
[03 Feb 14:00] PC Kakariki under investigation
[03 Feb 09:13] Neo left a bomb for Sideshow Barbara
[02 Feb 14:40] Weaponth of math Dethtruction blew up the incompetent Lawrence Wujanto (The swine)
[31 Jan 23:30] Dalriada couldn't open his target's door
[02 Feb 22:15] A cute little pokute killed James Revill (Melissa)
[02 Feb 20:01] Jail house rock killed Richard Mycroft (PC Mathematical Menace)
[02 Feb 20:00] Jail house rock killed Patrick Snow (PC Mallon)
[02 Feb 19:59] Jail house rock kicked off the DipSoc massacre with the killing of Stephen Chester (Oook)

New on Monday, 02 February:

[02 Feb 20:10] Pelvis caught David Proctor (Grytpype Thynne AKA Diogenes) crying over spilt milk
[30 Jan 10:35] Maxwell's Silver Hammer didn't poison PC Red Anteater
[02 Feb 10:05] Agent Jar-Jar killed the incompetent David Chow (Bourbon Creams)
[31 Jan 23:10] Russ Williams didn't open the door to Uncountable 4
[02 Feb 13:20] Michael Richards wasn't impressed by Moose Hunter's letter
[02 Feb 18:05] Moose Hunter's letter didn't kill Jon Jowett
[02 Feb 16:30] The three of clubs' very first letter finally reached sir reginald duke of chutney
[31 Jan 17:14] PC Hawsker apprehended an intruder who turned out to be Daniel Rudge (Swearing in technicolour AKA astaga)
[01 Feb 13:01] Jail house rock didn't kill any incompetents
[02 Feb 09:05] The wanted Jail house rock murdered Chris Knowles (The Electron Kid)

New on Sunday, 01 February:

[01 Feb 15:48] Michael Cripps killed Martin Lester (IFf AKA The Adult Male's Father)
[01 Feb 14:25] Graham Thomson (PC Detritus) did find Bourbon Creams, and then died
[01 Feb 14:05] PC Detritus couldn't reach Ish-Bosheth
[01 Feb 14:15] PC Detritus also didn't find Michaelangelo
[01 Feb 12:03] Neo cleverly outwitted a letter from kthxdie >:[
[01 Feb 12:05] Ye lettre of Thy Dungeonman faileth to kille Gordon Ball
[01 Feb 12:20] Verdict returned on Jail house rock's crimes
[01 Feb 01:56] The three of clubs' ghost got a letter from one-three-seven
[31 Jan 14:06] Michaelangelo got a spicy letter from one-three-seven
[27 Jan 00:15] Pemmer had a word with Nathan Bowler
[01 Feb 01:45] Miss Teen Oklahoma sent John-Joseph Wilks some advice
[01 Feb 01:15] Angelus sought but did not find
[31 Jan 17:20] H.R found 0 out of 2 targets
[31 Jan 15:30] Melvis failed to poison Michael Brooks
[31 Jan 14:15] Presley, Elvis didn't poison Matt F
[31 Jan 23:00] PC Detritus's accomplice was killed by the criminal Jail house rock
[01 Feb 00:35] Pemmer's bomb didn't kill Dalriada
[29 Jan 07:55] Dalriada blew up Ali Gee (Bill)

New on Saturday, 31 January:

[29 Jan 17:35] Maxwell's Silver Hammer didn't poison PC Have you ever choked on a weasel?
[31 Jan 20:22] Adam Baird Fraser issued a statement on behalf of the so-called "Christ's Mafia"
[31 Jan 20:00] Adam Baird Fraser survived Astral Surfer's poison letter as well
[31 Jan 19:45] Matt F stabbed Ross Fenning (The Bearded Lady)
[31 Jan 19:45] Zarathustra's letter didn't kill the corrupt PC CyberDog
[31 Jan 17:40] A rabid squirrel didn't kill Astral Surfer
[31 Jan 17:00] Adam Baird Fraser survived Astral Surfer's bomb
[29 Jan 12:55] Maxwell's Silver Hammer poisoned PC Evil Weapons Inc.'s brother
[29 Jan 08:45] Maxwell's Silver Hammer didn't poison 666
[31 Jan 12:35] Internet Reject's letter didn't kill Neill Campbell
[31 Jan 13:30] Michael Richards opened a letter from Oook
[31 Jan 19:50] Jail house rock failed to make amends
[31 Jan 19:40] Jail house rock correctly identified Jacob Shepherd (a sheep) on the second go
[31 Jan 19:10] Jail house rock outwitted sir reginald duke of chutney's letterbomb
[30 Jan 09:40] Weaponth of math Dethtruction made an attempt on Rollo Tomasi
[29 Jan 13:20] The Haggis Hunter couldn't spell "Bryony Baines"
[28 Jan 17:28] Something Indescribably Indescribable got a letter from The Haggis Hunter
[31 Jan 16:09] Drunken Chunky Monkey went after one of his legal targets, but couldn't find him
[31 Jan 08:35] The Adult Male's Father's bomb didn't kill Melissa
[29 Jan 18:15] Police Chief Sir Oban Glenmoray MacTalisker KBE BA Hons (Cantab.) didn't apprehend Doktor Von Fappenschlick
[31 Jan 14:42] Sideshow Barbara paid a visit to Michael Cripps
[30 Jan 16:12] A Fallen Minion of Yorck didn't find his target
[30 Jan 15:05] Sideshow Barbara didn't find her target
[30 Jan 11:30] 414 didn't kill John-Joseph Wilks
[25 Jan 22:51] Some innocents tried to spook Pemmer
[31 Jan 14:22] PC Zoidberg's ghost found a letter from Doktor Von Fappenschlick
[31 Jan 00:36] The Electron Kid mislaid his weapon
[31 Jan 02:00] The late Rollo Tomasi's bomb didn't kill Scoop Rinse Wobble Wobble Flush Your Tooth Down A Booth Mr Woof Whistle Thing Shark Up
[31 Jan 11:12] A letter from the late Doktor Von Fappenschlick caught Philip Bridge (PC Johnson) unawares
[31 Jan 09:58] Joan N. killed Ben Esche (uncountable 72)
[31 Jan 10:57] Stephen Chester killed the arch-criminal Alex Labram (414)
[30 Jan 16:00] G.I.Bob couldn't find Something Indescribably Indescribable
[29 Jan 17:20] The Electron Kid's letter didn't kill H.R
[29 Jan 21:02] Gho5t sent The Haggis Hunter a letter
[28 Jan 21:12] Professor Nutbutter shot himself in the leg by mistake
[25 Jan 13:30] Tom Woolford made an attempt on Stuart Moore
[31 Jan 01:00] Animal Rights Activists visited Chris Knowles
[30 Jan 16:15] The three of clubs' letter reached Maxwell's Silver Hammer
[30 Jan 23:10] The Adult Male's Father made an attempt on Melissa
[30 Jan 23:35] 414 didn't fool Chris Field
[30 Jan 23:20] 414 murdered Matthew Johnson (The Establishment of the Industrial Proletariat)
[30 Jan 23:15] 414 left some poison for Martin Lester
[30 Jan 08:20] IFf exploded Leo Howell (knaif)
[30 Jan 20:01] sir reginald duke of chutney got a letter from The three of clubs
[30 Jan 15:03] Marvin dispensed summary justice to the corrupt Ed Heaney (PC Zoidberg)
[30 Jan 20:22] 414 got a letter from the expired The three of clubs
[30 Jan 19:00] Martin Lester was too confused to kill 414

New on Friday, 30 January:

[30 Jan 18:51] Matthew Johnson sniped at 414, but missed
[30 Jan 18:49] Edward Allcutt failed to kill 414
[30 Jan 19:15] PC Just Add Water killed the wanted criminal Ric Brackenbury (Maxwell's Silver Hammer)
[29 Jan 06:00] Lutin Malicieux didn't turn up to a duel with The Eighteenth Century Enlightenment Duellist (Please play Handel's 'Sarabande' as he approaches)
[30 Jan 20:00] Martin O'Leary took down the wanted criminal Rosemary Warner (Doktor Von Fappenschlick)
[29 Jan 22:00] La Belle Dame Sans Merci left a bomb in the pigeonhole of The Eighteenth Century Enlightenment Duellist (Please play Handel's 'Sarabande' as he approaches)
[30 Jan 09:30] 414 failed to poison PC Mathematical Menace again
[30 Jan 14:45] The Adult Male's Father didn't die to The three of clubs' letter
[30 Jan 11:10] Maxwell's Silver Hammer poisoned Tom Carver (Rollo Tomasi)
[30 Jan 10:57] Bryony Baines was too late to kill the freshly-expired The three of clubs
[30 Jan 10:43] Maxwell's Silver Hammer happened across David Birch (The three of clubs)
[30 Jan 18:30] Drunken Chunky Monkey murdered Matthew Davison (PC Oberslieutenant SS Bauer)
[30 Jan 15:55] Elvis shot Phil Charles (Something Indescribably Indescribable)
[29 Jan 13:05] Maxwell's Silver Hammer killed the innocent Sam Blackburn
[30 Jan 12:03] Swearing in technicolour reported something, but the Umpire didn't understand what it was
[30 Jan 12:55] Drunken Chunky Monkey killed Stefano Debolini (PC Have you ever choked on a weasel?) and several innocents
[30 Jan 12:20] The Electron Kid sent a letter to Drunken Chunky Monkey
[29 Jan 17:10] Blood Is The Best Lubricant killed Alex Crockford (Arthur Dent)
[30 Jan 12:52] Joanna Faure-Walker (flashtights) resigned
[28 Jan 22:00] Ptolemy visited Lauren Grest
[29 Jan 22:18] Melissa didn't kill Tom Woolford
[29 Jan 09:35] Maxwell's Silver Hammer's bomb didn't kill PC Mallon
[29 Jan 18:58] Thomas Hooper (PC At least I managed to kill one person before dying, which isn't too bad for my first time, and I'd like to see YOU do better making a longer pseudonym, oh wait, this is just an unreconstructed rant, never mind, at least this way I have a shot at the most amusing nickname award, even though I suck and this is a really crappy attempt, you know, so I'll just give up here...) was killed by 414's bomb
[29 Jan 18:55] Lachlan McLean (Police Chief Sir Oban Glenmoray MacTalisker KBE BA Hons (Cantab.)) blew himself up
[29 Jan 18:50] Adam Baird Fraser ran into Jonathan Hogg (Darth Jar-Jar)
[25 Jan 12:45] Marvin blew Ian Blaney (The Railway System) into bits
[29 Jan 17:50] astaga made a brave attempt on the arch-criminal Maxwell's Silver Hammer
[29 Jan 12:45] Maxwell's Silver Hammer left even more poison for Jenny Chase
[29 Jan 12:35] Maxwell's Silver Hammer didn't kill PC Just Add Water
[29 Jan 12:30] Maxwell's Silver Hammer actually succeeded in poisoning Steve Pettitt (Professor Nutbutter)

New on Thursday, 29 January:

[29 Jan 12:00] Maxwell's Silver Hammer got lost at the end of the earth
[29 Jan 11:00] Maxwell's Silver Hammer lurked some more lectures
[29 Jan 10:43] Maxwell's Silver Hammer shot an innocent ex-player
[29 Jan 10:30] Maxwell's Silver Hammer poisoned Jonathan Hogg's doorhandle too
[29 Jan 10:03] Maxwell's Silver Hammer went hunting mathematicians
[29 Jan 09:46] Maxwell's Silver Hammer failed to poison Caligula
[29 Jan 09:30] Maxwell's Silver Hammer didn't poison PC Mathematical Menace either
[29 Jan 08:40] Maxwell's Silver Hammer went to work
[29 Jan 09:10] Maxwell's Silver Hammer tried to poison Russ Williams
[29 Jan 09:55] Maxwell's Silver Hammer came down upon the head of Ian Abel (PC Xaositect)
[28 Jan 15:50] Graham Thomson (Industrial Zombie) was betrayed to his target astaga
[28 Jan 19:10] Uncountable 4 poetically disposed of Nick Price (Captain Vimes)
[29 Jan 14:43] Internet Reject sent Chris Field a letter
[29 Jan 09:13] knaif battled Jack Berk (Mr Magica), and won
[27 Jan 11:22] Sideshow Barbara didn't think much of uncountable 72's letter
[28 Jan 20:09] Stephen Mounsey (fuggster) ran into PC CyberDog
[27 Jan 17:50] Hannah Burton killed Laurie Scher (The Badger)
[27 Jan 23:50] PC CyberDog 'accidentally' killed Tom Booth (PC staunch defender of the status quo, totally opposed to the evil Bourgeois revolutionaries bent on the overthrow by violence of the despotic, yet benign, rule of the Umpire and his cronies, who incidentally receive no perks whatsoever from their "special relationship" with him)
[26 Jan 19:45] astaga tried to kill Michael Brooks
[27 Jan 20:45] Uncountable 4 didn't open the door to Caligula
[28 Jan 08:23] Bryony Baines briefly woke Vilhelm Sjoberg (Cat)
[28 Jan 13:00] Duncan Brewer killed a couple of innocents
[28 Jan 08:40] Blood Is The Best Lubricant executed an innocent holding a snowball
[28 Jan 08:50] Blood Is The Best Lubricant assassinated Lionel Nierop (Lord Loopy)
[27 Jan 13:05] Moose Hunter killed Radoslav Nespor (Budvar)
[27 Jan 19:05] Anton Collinski executed Thomas Hooper (Otis B. Driftwood)
[27 Jan 22:04] Andrew Sobala (The Whale with No Teeth) didn't make sure astaga was dead
[27 Jan 12:02] Red Anteater stabbed Kirsty Reger (Dragon Rider)
[27 Jan 17:55] Diogenes got a visit from Johannes Nordstrom (Div)
[28 Jan 12:45] The Establishment of the Industrial Proletariat played his cards right against David Hall (WhammyBar)
[27 Jan 22:00] Oook failed to find 414
[27 Jan 21:36] Dalriada found Paul Smith (Red Anteater)'s door unlocked

New on Wednesday, 28 January:

[28 Jan 20:00] Doktor Von Fappenschlick most illegally poisoned Douglas Winship (PC Crouching Tiger)
[28 Jan 16:15] E. Presley knifed two small children holding snowballs
[28 Jan 21:20] Fran Heritage (glidingpiper) was bombed by Elvis
[28 Jan 18:36] Hannah Burton (A cute little tar baby) failed to exact revenge upon 414
[28 Jan 15:25] Paul Fox (The Man with the Golden Gown) never saw 414 coming
[28 Jan 15:05] 414 failed to kill PC Mallon
[28 Jan 14:56] Maxwell's Silver Hammer joined in the spree with the murder of Peyman Owladi (One of Pat's minions)
[28 Jan 14:55] 414 then killed Jenny Gardner (PC the cop of indeterminate sex)
[28 Jan 14:50] The arch-criminal 414 murdered Richard Thomas (PC Plod)
[27 Jan 19:46] 414 struck back against James Osborn (The living embodiment of the Will of The Umpire)
[27 Jan 19:45] The living embodiment of the Will of The Umpire shot Ross Edmondson (Elvis P)
[25 Jan 09:20] The Adult Male's Father bombed Mark Sibuns (Dark Star II)
[25 Jan 12:45] Yuan Shen (The flappinG Archaeopteryx) opened the door to Otis B. Driftwood
[27 Jan 07:45] WhammyBar was warned of The Adult Male's Father's bomb
[27 Jan 02:00] knaif left a bomb for Mr Magica
[27 Jan 08:15] The three of clubs failed to blow Hannah Burton up
[27 Jan 13:55] The three of clubs sent a letter to Hannah Burton
[26 Jan 12:15] The three of clubs's letter didn't kill The Adult Male's Father
[27 Jan 13:25] A cute little tar baby killed Stuart Moore (by meeting their antimatter self and shaking hands)
[26 Jan 16:00] WhammyBar made an unsuccessful attempt on G.I.Bob
[26 Jan 20:30] uncountable 72 didn't find Sideshow Barbara
[26 Jan 20:37] Ian Abel (Xaositect) and Ed Saperia (CyberDog) both died
[26 Jan 20:47] Animal Rights Activists nearly made an attempt
[26 Jan 21:00] 414 didn't kill Rosemary Warner
[26 Jan 19:45] 414 didn't kill Rosemary Warner
[26 Jan 19:00] 414 didn't let the tractor princess in

New on Tuesday, 27 January:

[26 Jan 20:03] Matt F visited Philip Bridge (The FBI)
[26 Jan 19:00] The Man with the Golden Gown counterattacked against Tom Booth (Dog-botherer)
[25 Jan 17:50] Uncountable 4's target was out
[26 Jan 10:30] Catherine Hall was too fast for Colin Leung (Nemo)
[26 Jan 12:30] Lord Loopy's letter didn't impress Dog-botherer
[26 Jan 10:10] David Stark (Rasputin) was killed by Animal Rights Activists
[25 Jan 22:05] Dog-botherer didn't blow up H.R
[25 Jan 15:50] Dog-botherer visited a third target
[25 Jan 15:15] Dog-botherer paid H.R a visit

New on Monday, 26 January:

[25 Jan 22:08] 414 blew up Dominik Hubler (KDeluxxe)
[25 Jan 17:30] A balloon sausage dog failed to kill Stuart Moore
[25 Jan 15:45] Dog-botherer executed Patrick Snow (mallon)
[25 Jan 20:30] WhammyBar got a letter from The Adult Male's Father
[25 Jan 15:15] Diogenes stabbed Jennifer Curtis (Lampost Solider Tounge)
[25 Jan 05:05] Aidan Robison got up early
[25 Jan 13:45] Uncountable 4 called for Stefano Debolini (Have you ever choked on a weasel?)
[25 Jan 10:00] The Adult Male's Father blew up Jenny Gardner (the robber of indeterminate sex)
[25 Jan 11:00] Otis B. Driftwood was a bit of a chicken
[25 Jan 08:23] Neo rudely awakened Douglas Winship (Crouching Tiger)
[25 Jan 05:00] The game begins
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Produced at Fri Apr 9 00:31:25 2004