Lent 2004 Game Headlines

Sunday, 25 January

[05:00am] The game begins
[05:05am] Aidan Robison got up early
[08:23am] Neo rudely awakened Douglas Winship (Crouching Tiger)
[09:20am] The Adult Male's Father bombed Mark Sibuns (Dark Star II)
[10:00am] The Adult Male's Father blew up Jenny Gardner (the robber of indeterminate sex)
[11:00am] Otis B. Driftwood was a bit of a chicken
[12:45pm] Yuan Shen (The flappinG Archaeopteryx) opened the door to Otis B. Driftwood
[12:45pm] Marvin blew Ian Blaney (The Railway System) into bits
[13:30pm] Tom Woolford made an attempt on Stuart Moore
[13:45pm] Uncountable 4 called for Stefano Debolini (Have you ever choked on a weasel?)
[15:15pm] Diogenes stabbed Jennifer Curtis (Lampost Solider Tounge)
[15:15pm] Dog-botherer paid H.R a visit
[15:45pm] Dog-botherer executed Patrick Snow (mallon)
[15:50pm] Dog-botherer visited a third target
[17:30pm] A balloon sausage dog failed to kill Stuart Moore
[17:50pm] Uncountable 4's target was out
[20:30pm] WhammyBar got a letter from The Adult Male's Father
[22:05pm] Dog-botherer didn't blow up H.R
[22:08pm] 414 blew up Dominik Hubler (KDeluxxe)
[22:51pm] Some innocents tried to spook Pemmer

Monday, 26 January

[10:10am] David Stark (Rasputin) was killed by Animal Rights Activists
[10:30am] Catherine Hall was too fast for Colin Leung (Nemo)
[12:15pm] The three of clubs's letter didn't kill The Adult Male's Father
[12:30pm] Lord Loopy's letter didn't impress Dog-botherer
[16:00pm] WhammyBar made an unsuccessful attempt on G.I.Bob
[19:00pm] The Man with the Golden Gown counterattacked against Tom Booth (Dog-botherer)
[19:00pm] 414 didn't let the tractor princess in
[19:45pm] 414 didn't kill Rosemary Warner
[19:45pm] astaga tried to kill Michael Brooks
[20:03pm] Matt F visited Philip Bridge (The FBI)
[20:30pm] uncountable 72 didn't find Sideshow Barbara
[20:37pm] Ian Abel (Xaositect) and Ed Saperia (CyberDog) both died
[20:47pm] Animal Rights Activists nearly made an attempt
[21:00pm] 414 didn't kill Rosemary Warner

Tuesday, 27 January

[00:15am] Pemmer had a word with Nathan Bowler
[02:00am] knaif left a bomb for Mr Magica
[07:45am] WhammyBar was warned of The Adult Male's Father's bomb
[08:15am] The three of clubs failed to blow Hannah Burton up
[11:22am] Sideshow Barbara didn't think much of uncountable 72's letter
[12:02pm] Red Anteater stabbed Kirsty Reger (Dragon Rider)
[13:05pm] Moose Hunter killed Radoslav Nespor (Budvar)
[13:25pm] A cute little tar baby killed Stuart Moore (by meeting their antimatter self and shaking hands)
[13:55pm] The three of clubs sent a letter to Hannah Burton
[17:50pm] Hannah Burton killed Laurie Scher (The Badger)
[17:55pm] Diogenes got a visit from Johannes Nordstrom (Div)
[19:05pm] Anton Collinski executed Thomas Hooper (Otis B. Driftwood)
[19:45pm] The living embodiment of the Will of The Umpire shot Ross Edmondson (Elvis P)
[19:46pm] 414 struck back against James Osborn (The living embodiment of the Will of The Umpire)
[20:45pm] Uncountable 4 didn't open the door to Caligula
[21:36pm] Dalriada found Paul Smith (Red Anteater)'s door unlocked
[22:00pm] Oook failed to find 414
[22:04pm] Andrew Sobala (The Whale with No Teeth) didn't make sure astaga was dead
[23:50pm] PC CyberDog 'accidentally' killed Tom Booth (PC staunch defender of the status quo, totally opposed to the evil Bourgeois revolutionaries bent on the overthrow by violence of the despotic, yet benign, rule of the Umpire and his cronies, who incidentally receive no perks whatsoever from their "special relationship" with him)

Wednesday, 28 January

[08:23am] Bryony Baines briefly woke Vilhelm Sjoberg (Cat)
[08:40am] Blood Is The Best Lubricant executed an innocent holding a snowball
[08:50am] Blood Is The Best Lubricant assassinated Lionel Nierop (Lord Loopy)
[12:45pm] The Establishment of the Industrial Proletariat played his cards right against David Hall (WhammyBar)
[13:00pm] Duncan Brewer killed a couple of innocents
[14:50pm] The arch-criminal 414 murdered Richard Thomas (PC Plod)
[14:55pm] 414 then killed Jenny Gardner (PC the cop of indeterminate sex)
[14:56pm] Maxwell's Silver Hammer joined in the spree with the murder of Peyman Owladi (One of Pat's minions)
[15:05pm] 414 failed to kill PC Mallon
[15:25pm] Paul Fox (The Man with the Golden Gown) never saw 414 coming
[15:40pm] Professor Nutbutter didn't blow up Michaelangelo
[15:50pm] Graham Thomson (Industrial Zombie) was betrayed to his target astaga
[16:15pm] E. Presley knifed two small children holding snowballs
[17:28pm] Something Indescribably Indescribable got a letter from The Haggis Hunter
[18:36pm] Hannah Burton (A cute little tar baby) failed to exact revenge upon 414
[19:10pm] Uncountable 4 poetically disposed of Nick Price (Captain Vimes)
[20:00pm] Doktor Von Fappenschlick most illegally poisoned Douglas Winship (PC Crouching Tiger)
[20:09pm] Stephen Mounsey (fuggster) ran into PC CyberDog
[21:12pm] Professor Nutbutter shot himself in the leg by mistake
[21:20pm] Fran Heritage (glidingpiper) was bombed by Elvis
[22:00pm] Ptolemy visited Lauren Grest

Thursday, 29 January

[06:00am] Lutin Malicieux didn't turn up to a duel with The Eighteenth Century Enlightenment Duellist (Please play Handel's 'Sarabande' as he approaches)
[07:55am] Dalriada blew up Ali Gee (Bill)
[08:40am] Maxwell's Silver Hammer went to work
[08:45am] Maxwell's Silver Hammer didn't poison 666
[09:10am] Maxwell's Silver Hammer tried to poison Russ Williams
[09:13am] knaif battled Jack Berk (Mr Magica), and won
[09:30am] Maxwell's Silver Hammer didn't poison PC Mathematical Menace either
[09:35am] Maxwell's Silver Hammer's bomb didn't kill PC Mallon
[09:46am] Maxwell's Silver Hammer failed to poison Caligula
[09:55am] Maxwell's Silver Hammer came down upon the head of Ian Abel (PC Xaositect)
[10:03am] Maxwell's Silver Hammer went hunting mathematicians
[10:30am] Maxwell's Silver Hammer poisoned Jonathan Hogg's doorhandle too
[10:43am] Maxwell's Silver Hammer shot an innocent ex-player
[11:00am] Maxwell's Silver Hammer lurked some more lectures
[12:00pm] Maxwell's Silver Hammer got lost at the end of the earth
[12:30pm] Maxwell's Silver Hammer actually succeeded in poisoning Steve Pettitt (Professor Nutbutter)
[12:35pm] Maxwell's Silver Hammer didn't kill PC Just Add Water
[12:45pm] Maxwell's Silver Hammer left even more poison for Jenny Chase
[12:55pm] Maxwell's Silver Hammer poisoned PC Evil Weapons Inc.'s brother
[13:05pm] Maxwell's Silver Hammer killed the innocent Sam Blackburn
[13:20pm] The Haggis Hunter couldn't spell "Bryony Baines"
[14:43pm] Internet Reject sent Chris Field a letter
[17:10pm] Blood Is The Best Lubricant killed Alex Crockford (Arthur Dent)
[17:20pm] The Electron Kid's letter didn't kill H.R
[17:35pm] Maxwell's Silver Hammer didn't poison PC Have you ever choked on a weasel?
[17:50pm] astaga made a brave attempt on the arch-criminal Maxwell's Silver Hammer
[18:15pm] Police Chief Sir Oban Glenmoray MacTalisker KBE BA Hons (Cantab.) didn't apprehend Doktor Von Fappenschlick
[18:50pm] Adam Baird Fraser ran into Jonathan Hogg (Darth Jar-Jar)
[18:55pm] Lachlan McLean (Police Chief Sir Oban Glenmoray MacTalisker KBE BA Hons (Cantab.)) blew himself up
[18:58pm] Thomas Hooper (PC At least I managed to kill one person before dying, which isn't too bad for my first time, and I'd like to see YOU do better making a longer pseudonym, oh wait, this is just an unreconstructed rant, never mind, at least this way I have a shot at the most amusing nickname award, even though I suck and this is a really crappy attempt, you know, so I'll just give up here...) was killed by 414's bomb
[21:02pm] Gho5t sent The Haggis Hunter a letter
[22:00pm] La Belle Dame Sans Merci left a bomb in the pigeonhole of The Eighteenth Century Enlightenment Duellist (Please play Handel's 'Sarabande' as he approaches)
[22:18pm] Melissa didn't kill Tom Woolford

Friday, 30 January

[08:20am] IFf exploded Leo Howell (knaif)
[09:30am] 414 failed to poison PC Mathematical Menace again
[09:40am] Weaponth of math Dethtruction made an attempt on Rollo Tomasi
[10:35am] Maxwell's Silver Hammer didn't poison PC Red Anteater
[10:43am] Maxwell's Silver Hammer happened across David Birch (The three of clubs)
[10:57am] Bryony Baines was too late to kill the freshly-expired The three of clubs
[11:10am] Maxwell's Silver Hammer poisoned Tom Carver (Rollo Tomasi)
[11:30am] 414 didn't kill John-Joseph Wilks
[12:03pm] Swearing in technicolour reported something, but the Umpire didn't understand what it was
[12:20pm] The Electron Kid sent a letter to Drunken Chunky Monkey
[12:52pm] Joanna Faure-Walker (flashtights) resigned
[12:55pm] Drunken Chunky Monkey killed Stefano Debolini (PC Have you ever choked on a weasel?) and several innocents
[14:45pm] The Adult Male's Father didn't die to The three of clubs' letter
[15:03pm] Marvin dispensed summary justice to the corrupt Ed Heaney (PC Zoidberg)
[15:05pm] Sideshow Barbara didn't find her target
[15:55pm] Elvis shot Phil Charles (Something Indescribably Indescribable)
[16:00pm] G.I.Bob couldn't find Something Indescribably Indescribable
[16:12pm] A Fallen Minion of Yorck didn't find his target
[16:15pm] The three of clubs' letter reached Maxwell's Silver Hammer
[18:30pm] Drunken Chunky Monkey murdered Matthew Davison (PC Oberslieutenant SS Bauer)
[18:49pm] Edward Allcutt failed to kill 414
[18:51pm] Matthew Johnson sniped at 414, but missed
[19:00pm] Martin Lester was too confused to kill 414
[19:15pm] PC Just Add Water killed the wanted criminal Ric Brackenbury (Maxwell's Silver Hammer)
[20:00pm] Martin O'Leary took down the wanted criminal Rosemary Warner (Doktor Von Fappenschlick)
[20:01pm] sir reginald duke of chutney got a letter from The three of clubs
[20:22pm] 414 got a letter from the expired The three of clubs
[23:10pm] The Adult Male's Father made an attempt on Melissa
[23:15pm] 414 left some poison for Martin Lester
[23:20pm] 414 murdered Matthew Johnson (The Establishment of the Industrial Proletariat)
[23:35pm] 414 didn't fool Chris Field

Saturday, 31 January

[00:36am] The Electron Kid mislaid his weapon
[01:00am] Animal Rights Activists visited Chris Knowles
[02:00am] The late Rollo Tomasi's bomb didn't kill Scoop Rinse Wobble Wobble Flush Your Tooth Down A Booth Mr Woof Whistle Thing Shark Up
[08:35am] The Adult Male's Father's bomb didn't kill Melissa
[09:58am] Joan N. killed Ben Esche (uncountable 72)
[10:30am] sir reginald duke of chutney didn't find his target
[10:57am] Stephen Chester killed the arch-criminal Alex Labram (414)
[11:12am] A letter from the late Doktor Von Fappenschlick caught Philip Bridge (PC Johnson) unawares
[12:35pm] Internet Reject's letter didn't kill Neill Campbell
[13:30pm] Michael Richards opened a letter from Oook
[13:50pm] sir reginald duke of chutney still didn't find his target
[14:06pm] Michaelangelo got a spicy letter from one-three-seven
[14:15pm] Presley, Elvis didn't poison Matt F
[14:22pm] PC Zoidberg's ghost found a letter from Doktor Von Fappenschlick
[14:42pm] Sideshow Barbara paid a visit to Michael Cripps
[15:30pm] Melvis failed to poison Michael Brooks
[16:08pm] A rabid squirrel's letter didn't kill Michaelangelo
[16:09pm] Drunken Chunky Monkey went after one of his legal targets, but couldn't find him
[17:00pm] Adam Baird Fraser survived Astral Surfer's bomb
[17:14pm] PC Hawsker apprehended an intruder who turned out to be Daniel Rudge (Swearing in technicolour AKA astaga)
[17:20pm] H.R found 0 out of 2 targets
[17:40pm] A rabid squirrel didn't kill Astral Surfer
[19:10pm] Jail house rock outwitted sir reginald duke of chutney's letterbomb
[19:40pm] Jail house rock correctly identified Jacob Shepherd (a sheep) on the second go
[19:45pm] Zarathustra's letter didn't kill the corrupt PC CyberDog
[19:45pm] Matt F stabbed Ross Fenning (The Bearded Lady)
[19:50pm] Jail house rock failed to make amends
[20:00pm] Adam Baird Fraser survived Astral Surfer's poison letter as well
[20:22pm] Adam Baird Fraser issued a statement on behalf of the so-called "Christ's Mafia"
[22:02pm] Aesahettr bombed the wanted criminal Nick Wood (Drunken Chunky Monkey)
[23:00pm] PC Detritus's accomplice was killed by the criminal Jail house rock
[23:10pm] Russ Williams didn't open the door to Uncountable 4
[23:30pm] Dalriada couldn't open his target's door

Sunday, 01 February

[00:35am] Pemmer's bomb didn't kill Dalriada
[01:15am] Angelus sought but did not find
[01:45am] Miss Teen Oklahoma sent John-Joseph Wilks some advice
[01:56am] The three of clubs' ghost got a letter from one-three-seven
[12:03pm] Neo cleverly outwitted a letter from kthxdie >:[
[12:03pm] Neo's letterbomb never even got to Alasdair North
[12:05pm] Ye lettre of Thy Dungeonman faileth to kille Gordon Ball
[12:20pm] Verdict returned on Jail house rock's crimes
[13:01pm] Jail house rock didn't kill any incompetents
[13:04pm] Thy Dungeonman did maketh his own attempte on Alasdair North
[14:05pm] PC Detritus couldn't reach Ish-Bosheth
[14:15pm] PC Detritus also didn't find Michaelangelo
[14:20pm] Ginger northerner didn't find her target
[14:25pm] Graham Thomson (PC Detritus) did find Bourbon Creams, and then died
[14:30pm] Uncountable (2^1257787-1)/(2^1398269-1) briefly visited the late Drunken Chunky Monkey
[15:48pm] Michael Cripps killed Martin Lester (IFf AKA The Adult Male's Father)
[16:40pm] PC Jar-Jar shot the incompetent Ian McCann (Bob)
[17:45pm] Adam Baird Fraser and others didn't kill Scoop Rinse Wobble Wobble Flush Your Tooth Down A Booth Mr Woof Whistle Thing Shark Up
[17:55pm] Aesahettr shot an innocent
[18:08pm] Gordon Ball (Aesahettr AKA Marvin) was shot in the back by Michael Richards
[19:00pm] Uncountable (2^1257787-1)/(2^1398269-1) couldn't get at The swine
[19:10pm] Uncountable (2^1257787-1)/(2^1398269-1) found no sign of quiet
[19:12pm] Aesahettr's booby trap killed the incompetent Iain Ezra Macdonald (quiet)
[19:25pm] The Haggis Hunter wouldn't open the door to Uncountable (2^1257787-1)/(2^1398269-1)
[19:58pm] Aesahettr's other booby trap killed Alasdair North (Ish-Bosheth)
[20:35pm] Bourbon Creams also refused Uncountable (2^1257787-1)/(2^1398269-1) entry
[21:15pm] Uncountable (2^1257787-1)/(2^1398269-1) visited Ginger northerner
[21:15pm] A group calling themselves "The League Of Extraordinary Jesuans" went hunting incompetents
[21:30pm] Uncountable (2^1257787-1)/(2^1398269-1) found quiet but didn't kill him

Monday, 02 February

[09:05am] The wanted Jail house rock murdered Chris Knowles (The Electron Kid)
[10:05am] Agent Jar-Jar killed the incompetent David Chow (Bourbon Creams)
[13:20pm] Michael Richards wasn't impressed by Moose Hunter's letter
[14:40pm] Weaponth of math Dethtruction blew up the incompetent Lawrence Wujanto (The swine)
[15:50pm] Bourbon Creams opened a letter from E. Presley
[15:51pm] Bourbon Creams' ghost wasn't impressed with Zarathustra's letter
[16:30pm] The three of clubs' very first letter finally reached sir reginald duke of chutney
[18:05pm] Moose Hunter's letter didn't kill Jon Jowett
[19:59pm] Jail house rock kicked off the DipSoc massacre with the killing of Stephen Chester (Oook)
[20:00pm] Jail house rock killed Patrick Snow (PC Mallon)
[20:01pm] Jail house rock killed Richard Mycroft (PC Mathematical Menace)
[20:10pm] Pelvis caught David Proctor (Grytpype Thynne AKA Diogenes) crying over spilt milk
[22:10pm] Elvis almost died attacking 666
[22:15pm] A cute little pokute killed James Revill (Melissa)

Tuesday, 03 February

[09:13am] Neo left a bomb for Sideshow Barbara
[11:49am] Anton Collinski made an inconclusive attempt
[13:45pm] Internet Reject was photographed by Moose Hunter while delivering a poisoned letter
[14:00pm] PC Kakariki under investigation
[18:00pm] IFf's ghost was shot while reading Astral Surfer's poisoned letter
[19:55pm] PC Kakariki made an ineffective attempt to kill the Umpire
[22:00pm] Elvis tried to blow up 666
[22:58pm] Michael Cripps killed the incompetent Joseph Lindsay (Scoop Rinse Wobble Wobble Flush Your Tooth Down A Booth Mr Woof Whistle Thing Shark Up)
[23:33pm] 666 didn't kill anyone

Wednesday, 04 February

[11:45am] 666's letter poisoned Jonathan Woollgar (A Fallen Minion of Yorck)
[11:50am] Gho5t survived Weaponth of math Dethtruction's bomb
[12:40pm] Caligula tried to illegally murder G.I.Bob, but failed
[14:02pm] Ptolemy killed an innocent who was making an attempt on him
[14:35pm] G.I.Bob went on his own killing spree, incidentally killing David O'Doherty (Caligula)
[15:30pm] sir reginald duke of chutney received a non-poisonous letter from the ghost of The three of clubs
[17:40pm] PC Teepee didn't get the incompetent Michaelangelo
[17:45pm] PC Teepee also didn't get Ginger northerner
[18:55pm] Edward Allcutt failed to kill Neill Campbell
[19:27pm] G.I.Bob poisoned PC with the Golden Gown's doorhandle

Thursday, 05 February

[09:00am] Paul Scrivens (Gho5t) found evidence of Weaponth of math Dethtruction
[11:10am] Gho5t's ghost found a bomb from Blood Is The Best Lubricant
[13:12pm] G.I.Bob continued to rampage through Jesus, killing Paul Fox (PC with the Golden Gown)
[13:15pm] Blood Is The Best Lubricant killed the incompetent Paul Cameron (The Haggis Hunter)
[14:19pm] Ptolemy set up and killed John-Joseph Wilks (Angelus)
[15:20pm] The Eighteenth Century Enlightenment Duellist (Please play Handel's 'Sarabande' as he approaches) met a suspicious character
[15:30pm] Uncountable 4 visited Russ Williams again
[16:50pm] G.I.Bob continued to rampage
[20:20pm] Michaelangelo fought off the attack of Gordon Ball (PC Chronitis)
[23:40pm] The corrupt PC Kakariki killed the equally corrupt Ed Saperia (PC CyberDog)

Friday, 06 February

[08:40am] kthxdie >:[ made a lame attempt
[13:07pm] Joan N. took revenge on Tom Woolford (Ptolemy)
[13:38pm] Jenny Chase successfully ambushed Russ Williams (A rabid squirrel)
[14:03pm] Gho5t's letter failed to kill Zarathustra
[14:04pm] La Belle Dame Sans Merci's letterbomb succeeded in killing Jamie Horder (Zarathustra)
[15:20pm] La Belle Dame Sans Merci's letterbomb didn't kill Adam Baird Fraser
[15:30pm] Jail house rock killed another innocent, almost with cause
[16:30pm] Miss Teen Oklahoma's letter didn't kill A cute little pokute
[20:00pm] PC Hawsker shot IFf's ghost

Saturday, 07 February

[10:23am] A rabid squirrel's letterbomb finally arrived, killing Emily Luckhurst (the tractor princess)
[12:00pm] Moose Hunter misidentified an innocent as his target
[12:43pm] G.I.Bob killed another innocent
[12:55pm] Astral Surfer's target wasn't in
[13:00pm] New Chief of Police sworn in
[14:06pm] one-three-seven failed to find Ginger northerner
[14:18pm] PC Corkscrew couldn't find Michaelangelo
[14:25pm] Sideshow Barbara didn't find her target
[15:45pm] Adam Baird Fraser brought down the nefarious Nathan Bowler (Joan N.)
[15:58pm] Adam Baird Fraser failed to find the tractor princess
[16:05pm] Agent Corkscrew couldn't find Jail house rock
[16:39pm] Presley, Elvis's bomb poisoned Matt Farr (Matt F)
[16:40pm] Jail house rock politely declined to kill someone
[19:10pm] Pemmer aborted an attempt on Joan N.
[21:30pm] Catherine Hall failed to find Michaelangelo
[21:30pm] The late Police Chief Sir Oban Glenmoray MacTalisker KBE BA Hons (Cantab.) made a particularly implausible attempt on some unsuspecting assassins
[21:45pm] Catherine Hall also couldn't find Ginger northerner
[21:49pm] Niall Taylor killed the incompetent Diana O'Carroll (Ginger northerner)

Sunday, 08 February

[02:50am] Pemmer's sneaky trap didn't kill Dalriada
[09:36am] Michaelangelo wasn't blown up by kthxdie >:[
[10:10am] Melvis didn't blow up Michaelangelo
[11:51am] kthxdie >:[ sent Bilen Ahmet (G.I.Bob) into orbit
[12:35pm] Uncountable 4 was surprised while planting a bomb for Michael Brooks
[13:00pm] The Eighteenth Century Enlightenment Duellist (Please play Handel's 'Sarabande' as he approaches) cunningly dispatched his attacker, Simeon Bird (Uncountable (2^1257787-1)/(2^1398269-1) AKA Uncountable 4)
[15:50pm] Michael Cripps failed to strike back against Sideshow Barbara
[16:10pm] Elvis yet again failed to kill 666
[22:33pm] PC Evil Weapons Inc.'s bomb didn't kill sir reginald duke of chutney

Monday, 09 February

[00:25am] The corrupt PC Kakariki discovered a bomb from PC Stealer of Hats
[02:00am] New police administration announced
[09:01am] Duncan Brewer (Pelvis AKA Elvis) left the building at the hands of Bryony Baines
[09:20am] Thy Dungeonman's bombe of poisone killeth Caroline Fabre (Lutin Malicieux)
[16:11pm] Neo made an attempt on one of his targets
[17:00pm] Chris Field wasn't killed
[17:24pm] Agent Corkscrew unsuccessfully tried to bomb Jail house rock
[22:55pm] PC Div caught Thomas de Rivaz (Jail house rock) leaving the scene of last week's killings
[23:40pm] H.R ambushed Alex Labram (Agent Corkscrew)
[23:41pm] PC Rabid Squirrel fought off the attack of Philip Maltas (H.R)

Tuesday, 10 February

[00:05am] Adam Baird Fraser killed the treacherous Steve Pettitt (PC Teepee)
[09:50am] Simon Ford dispatched Edward Allcutt (Mother Goose)
[12:10pm] Internet Reject once again didn't outwit Chris Field
[21:15pm] Police Chief One of these days I'll actually get around to killing something, or at least being mildly threatening, all the Oxfodians doing their research will think I'm a useless wimp who can't actually play but I can, GRRRRRR! See, you were scared! Now imagine that coming at you with a donut in one hand and a sword in the other, and we'll see who gets the jam and the SWAT team took revenge on Ross Edmondson (PC Kakariki)
[22:34pm] 666 went hunting

Wednesday, 11 February

[08:00am] Michaelangelo survived another bomb from kthxdie >:[
[08:10am] Ed Thomas (Anton Collinski) was blown up by a present from PC IFf
[11:50am] Blood Is The Best Lubricant did some lurking
[11:55am] Michael Mann (Michaelangelo) blew himself up
[22:50pm] Michael Cripps left a note for Sideshow Barbara

Thursday, 12 February

[16:55pm] sir reginald duke of chutney made an attempt
[17:30pm] La Belle Dame Sans Merci lurked a little
[18:50pm] Harbinger AKA Weaponth of math Dethtruction killed someone who wasn't actually sir reginald duke of chutney after all
[19:30pm] Harbinger's letter bomb killed the real Ariane Standing (sir reginald duke of chutney)

Friday, 13 February

[07:00am] The Sunshine Suicide Squad was interrupted while leaving a surprise for PC Haggis Hunter
[08:30am] A cute little pokute's letterbomb nearly killed The Sunshine Suicide Squad
[08:31am] A cute little pokute's poisoned letter came less close to killing The Sunshine Suicide Squad
[08:57am] The Sunshine Suicide Squad AKA Harbinger AKA Weaponth of math Dethtruction blew up Stuart Moore (Police Chief One of these days I'll actually get around to killing something, or at least being mildly threatening, all the Oxfodians doing their research will think I'm a useless wimp who can't actually play but I can, GRRRRRR! See, you were scared! Now imagine that coming at you with a donut in one hand and a sword in the other, and we'll see who gets the jam)
[11:00am] Sideshow Barbara left a note for Michael Cripps
[11:20am] The Sunshine Suicide Squad didn't poison PC Too Stupid To Be Alive
[11:40am] The Sunshine Suicide Squad didn't poison Agent Rabid Squirrel
[12:10pm] The Sunshine Suicide Squad's bomb didn't kill SWAT Commander Jar-Jar
[12:50pm] E. Presley shot Martin O'Leary (Jim the Elvis Impersonator AKA La Belle Dame Sans Merci)
[13:25pm] The Sunshine Suicide Squad killed Leo Howell (PC Too Stupid To Be Alive)
[13:35pm] The Sunshine Suicide Squad killed David Birch (PC Hawsker) and three innocents
[13:45pm] SWAT Commander Jar-Jar made a cunning attempt to locate The Sunshine Suicide Squad
[15:20pm] The Sunshine Suicide Squad killed Robert Chipperfield (PC Evil Weapons Inc.)
[15:40pm] The Sunshine Suicide Squad blew up and then shot a complete innocent
[15:53pm] Jonathan Hogg (SWAT Commander Jar-Jar) and the evil criminal Bryony Baines (The Sunshine Suicide Squad AKA Harbinger AKA Weaponth of math Dethtruction) shot one another
[16:25pm] Moose Hunter's contact poison miraculously failed to kill Michael Richards
[16:30pm] The Sunshine Suicide Squad's poison didn't get Deputy Police Chief Just Add Water
[16:41pm] Moose Hunter killed the technically-innocent Ed Nokes
[17:20pm] Moose Hunter found The Sunshine Suicide Squad's bomb

Saturday, 14 February

[06:40am] Jenny Chase killed Alan Cunningham (Internet Reject)
[15:45pm] Michael Brooks survived a bomb from Melvis
[15:46pm] Michael Brooks also survived a bomb from Presley, Elvis
[17:35pm] Pemmer's bomb didn't get 666

Sunday, 15 February

[13:30pm] Police Chief Just Add Water finally emptied the Wanted List by disposing of Lee Lewin (Moose Hunter)
[14:50pm] [CoPM] The King didn't kill The Eighteenth Century Enlightenment Duellist (Please play Handel's 'Sarabande' as he approaches)
[15:40pm] Victoria Kowalkowski (666) died at the hand of [CoPM] The King

Monday, 16 February

[10:00am] Adam Baird Fraser (Animal Rights Activists) was shot dead outside lectures by Stephen McCann
[11:00am] The Eighteenth Century Enlightenment Duellist (Please play Handel's 'Sarabande' as he approaches)'s card didn't kill Sideshow Barbara
[11:00am] Someone with suspicious hair made an attempt on Dalriada
[13:20pm] [CoPM] Simone Jenny Fordette left a gift for Sideshow Barbara
[15:30pm] Sinistar's bomb didn't kill Simon Ford
[19:08pm] PC Sunshine vaguely tried to kill Jon Jowett
[22:00pm] Jon Jowett wasn't killed by a bomb from Simon Ford
[22:01pm] Jon Jowett also survived the bomb from Thy Dungeonman

Tuesday, 17 February

[07:40am] PC Fallen Minion of Yorck couldn't get at one-three-seven
[08:30am] Neo lurked for a target
[08:45am] Jon Jowett lurked outside his target's lecture
[09:10am] Also lurking was kthxdie >:[
[09:25am] Michael Brooks stood in the rain
[09:45am] [CoPM] Byrony Baines was lurking for Neo
[10:52am] PC Fallen Minion of Yorck couldn't find Astral Surfer
[14:50pm] Michael Cripps continued to flirt with Sideshow Barbara
[16:50pm] Sinistar hungered for Niall Taylor (one-three-seven)
[18:10pm] Deputy Police Chief Div killed an innocent who wasn't Sideshow Barbara
[23:05pm] Deputy Police Chief Div shot another innocent

Wednesday, 18 February

[11:00am] Miss Teen Oklahoma killed Chris Field (Melvis)
[22:45pm] Stephen McCann saw some dead drunk assassins
[23:20pm] Agent IFf visited Sideshow Barbara

Thursday, 19 February

[14:15pm] Michael Richards piratically killed Jon Jowett (Astral Surfer)
[18:00pm] PC 666 failed to set up the corrupt Deputy Police Chief Div

Friday, 20 February

[13:15pm] Dalriada failed to find his victim
[14:35pm] Catherine Hall opened a parcel from Sinistar
[16:35pm] Michael Brooks spotted The Eighteenth Century Enlightenment Duellist (Please play Handel's 'Sarabande' as he approaches) planting a bomb
[17:29pm] Sideshow Barbara complained of textual harassment
[18:02pm] PC The Reformed and Benevolent Sir Maxwell D'Hammeur Argentiere BSc SSc AKA [CoPM] One of Mike Cripps' minions killed the most evil criminal Lauren Grest (Sideshow Barbara)
[18:35pm] Deputy Police Chief Div met Sideshow Barbara's ghost

Sunday, 22 February

[14:35pm] [CoPM] The King blew up Seth Thevoz (The Eighteenth Century Enlightenment Duellist (Please play Handel's 'Sarabande' as he approaches))
[14:45pm] Agent The Reformed and Benevolent Sir Maxwell D'Hammeur Argentiere BSc SSc AKA [CoPM] One of Mike Cripps' minions killed Johannes Nordstrom (Deputy Police Chief Div)

Monday, 23 February

[08:45am] Neo lurked some more
[13:58pm] Michael Richards had an exciting encounter with Jenny Chase
[13:59pm] Aidan Robison was also trying to kill Michael Richards
[19:05pm] Michael Brooks didn't letterbomb Neill Campbell
[20:55pm] Pemmer couldn't get into his target's room

Tuesday, 24 February

[18:15pm] Janet Jackson's Nipple Tassel didn't blow up Michael Brooks
[21:00pm] Miss Teen Dungeon Simon Forded Jenny Chase

Wednesday, 25 February

[12:00pm] PC Stealer of Hats got bored
[18:10pm] PC Stealer of Hats continued trying to rampage
[21:00pm] Miss Teen Dungeon Simon Forded all the people
[22:00pm] Miss Teen Dungeon didn't kill Catherine Hall

Thursday, 26 February

[10:02am] [CoPM] Simone Jenny Fordette assassinated Neill Campbell (Presley, Elvis)
[11:01am] Catherine Hall counter-ambushed Michael Cripps ([CoPM] The King AKA Michaela Cripps)
[11:55am] Simon Ford's cunning letter didn't kill Stephen McCann
[16:07pm] [CoPM] Byrony Baines didn't die to Simon Ford's letter
[18:30pm] Simeon Bird (PC Stealer of Hats)'s spree was cut short by Agent The Reformed and Benevolent Sir Maxwell D'Hammeur Argentiere BSc SSc AKA [CoPM] One of Mike Cripps' minions
[18:45pm] Michael Brooks also survived Simon Ford's letter
[20:00pm] Police Chief Just Add Water mutilated the corpse of PC Stealer of Hats
[21:30pm] Michael Richards survived a poison letter from Dalriada
[21:31pm] Michael Richards also survived a letterbomb from Y2J
[21:32pm] Michael Richards wasn't blown up by Pemmer either

Saturday, 28 February

[10:00am] Neo lurked for Michael Richards

Sunday, 29 February

[12:00pm] A cute little pokute lurked for Michael Richards
[12:00pm] [CoPM] Byrony Baines was lurking too

Monday, 01 March

[12:00pm] Jenny Chase declined to kill Michael Brooks
[13:20pm] Simon Ford failed to ambush Stephen McCann

Tuesday, 02 March

[10:00am] Sinistar did another unsuccessful lurk
[15:30pm] Catherine Hall searched unsuccessfully for Simon Ford
[17:00pm] Jenny Chase made an attempt on Simon Ford's washing line

Wednesday, 03 March

[09:55am] Michael Brooks ambushed Jenny Chase (The voices in Mike's bed AKA [CoPM] Simone Jenny Fordette AKA Neo)
[12:05pm] Stephen McCann fought off the attack of Simon Ford (Janet Jackson's Nipple Tassel AKA Miss Teen Oklahoma)

Thursday, 04 March

[16:10pm] [CoPM] Byrony Baines visited Catherine Hall

Sunday, 07 March

[01:00am] Stephen McCann left a very large bomb for Aidan Robison
[05:00am] A truce was declared
[16:30pm] Michael Richards defeated the other four survivors in the final duel
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Produced at Fri Apr 9 00:31:25 2004