May Week 2003 Game News - Day 3

Monday, 16 June


[00:00am] The Minister of Sinister assassinated Token Arts Student

Token Arts Student reports:

I could have sworn it said 0030. Oh well, at least I got some fresh air. And some not-so fresh water.

The Minister of Sinister reports:

This was another annoying one. I arrived in the knives zone at 23.40, at the Southern tip right by the river. I was immediately approached from different directions by 2 people, I think the one ahead was female, to the right male, so I chose the third way (with haste.) I crouched by some bushes, straining to hear voices, but there was a loud punt or two which didn't help. An innocent jogged past. I'd really like to know who those 2 were, please own up!

Anyway, at midnight, I just wanted to get home, so I prepared a water pistol for use, and as soon as I walked into the open, I saw 2 bushes appear to move and follow me. I waited behind a tree, and they approached. I stepped out and fired. It turned out that it was Michael Dnes, JJ Wilks, and Nick Krempel. Michael Dnes was leading the way, he was the only one hit by the jet of water. They all claimed that the knives zone ended at 00.30, so myself and Michael Dnes clumsily charged at each other, we both claimed to have got the other, and there was no way it could be resolved in the dark, and we gave up. But I hadn't got the other two in my initial blast. So we agreed to annul all but my shot at Michael Dnes, which was conditional on the zone ending at midnight, which it did. I should really have had 2 other kills. Anyway, we headed under the tunnel, towards the Anchor end of the knives zone, and as soon as Michael Dnes, who was leading the way, emerged from the tunnel, ...

[Add/edit reports]


[00:07am] Look behind you... mutilated the corpse of Token Arts Student

Look behind you... reports:

Once again I feel my pseudonym applies. After spotting the Umpire and Nokes together (see yesterday's news), I pulled over for a quick chat. When Jon said the knives only zone had finished I gleefully decided to cycle the boundary, hoping to catch unwary assassins. I spotted a group of 4 people going under the bridge, and dumped my bike on the side of the road and rushed over with a supersoaker. The *wrong* supersoaker as it turned out. I blasted them, but only killed Dnes. Grrr... if only I'd chosen the XP270, I would've got all four!

Then Ric arranged a truce so he could explain Dnes' death. At this point the others beat it pretty fast. Eventually we set off after them. This is when the infamous "silhouttes in the field under the trees" was shouted by Ric. Cautiously crept up on said silhouettes, which were making absolutely no noise at all (unusual for humans). COWS!! At this point, Ric was lucky not to get a soaking.

With hindsight, I have suspicions that Ric was deliberately trying to let them get away. He did talk to me for an inordinate amount of time, and then that incident with the cows took up a lot of time, which basically meant I didn't catch up with the Trinity trio, who were only armed with knives. If this is the case, Ric, then you did very well!!

[Add/edit reports]


[00:13am] The Minister of Muppetry made an attempt on Some Cows

The Minister of Muppetry reports:

..., water rained down, and I ran for cover as I emerged. We turned round to see Jon Jowett, who claimed the kill of Dnes. Oh boy, this was getting complicated. While I explained the previous incident to him, the Trinitarians ran off. I then made a no-kill agreement with Jon Jowett for the evening. He cycled and I jogged in pursuit in the Queens direction, but I saw them crouching in the field on the left. After a bit, Jon stopped, and turned round. I wouldn't interfere as I had no-kill with both groups. So I wheeled Jon's bike along. We crept back on the path, and waited, staring at the silhouette against the Fen Causeway lights. Nothing moved. We gingerly advanced, until I could see the huddled shapes. Jon prepared to close in...

They were cows. Sleeping, large cows. Oops. Jon resisted the temptation to shoot me. Although I think I've made a good play for the muppetry award.

Animal reports:

Did you know...?

"The average EU cow receives more than $2 a day in support from governments. That is more than the income of half the world's population"

- Julian Filochowski

BUY FAIRTRADE

Token Arts Student reports:

Did you know...?

The abolition of worldwide agricultural subsidies and tariffs would result in an immediate gain to the world of $128 billion, with the greatest beneficiaries being sub-saharan Africa. The WTO Doha talks are specifically aimed at the abolition of these restrictive practises.

SUPPORT FREE TRADE

[Add/edit reports]


[00:32am] Look behind you... assassinated Living on Borrowed Time

Living on Borrowed Time reports:

No-one cheats death, grasshopper, no-one.

I was feeling vaguely puzzled as to how exactly I was still alive, given that I had friends from home staying with me and had spent half of the day wandering through central Cambridge drunk and in no fit state to defend myself. Midnight found me back in my room with said friends, two of whom were staying with me while the other had a temporary home to be returning to on the other side of Cambridge. Knowing Memorial Court to be mostly locked up by now, I offered to let her out through the card-locked door that lead back to Queens' Road.

Having spent some time attempting to explain exactly where we now were in relation to the rest of Cambridge, I decided it would be easier to walk her as far as the end of Garrett Hostel Lane; I didn't really want to venture any further into town, but this far out the streets were still largely deserted.

We said goodbye by the corner of Trinity Hall and I turned back towards home in high spirits. It was only then I noticed that the placement of the lamps that lit the way was positioned such that in the dark it was essentially impossible to make out anything on the far side of the nearest lamp, half a dozen yards away.

I squinted at the figures in the shadows: a couple, walking away from me, near the gate leading into Trinity, and someone on a bike, cycling towards me very fast and oh fuck I recognise him and he's got a gun ...

No-one cheats death, grasshopper, no-one.

Look behind you... reports:

After Ric's muppetry, I cycled like a bat out of hell trying to catch the fleeing Trinitarians. Instead I did a neat cycle-by on Adam Biltcliffe. Sadly no-one else fell victim as I did a quick cycle round the centre of Cambridge.

[Add/edit reports]


[00:58am] It Could Be Bunnies! assassinated Banichi

It Could Be Bunnies! reports:

At dead of night a mysterious knocking disturbed my plotting. Naturally suspicious I dispatched two of my finest minions to investigate. Whilst they stalled the would be intruder with many an interesting tale, I repositioned to more advantageous ground and the ensuing gunfire left me the victor.

Banichi reports:

Hmm, now if I could only give one piece of advice to someone making a room attack in Harvey Court, what would I say. I know, "Watch the neighbours doors, they can get to nearly any room from the balconies." Talk about taking my own advice....

[Add/edit reports]


[01:31am] Camikaze assassinated The Mad Munger

Camikaze reports:

He attacked me this time, but i saw it a mile off, and had to kill him again. Am feeling a bit guilty, we were meant to be friends, i just hope i haven't ruined his birthday....

[Add/edit reports]


[02:15am] The Moustache assassinated richardA

The Moustache reports:

With not an assassin to be seen hanging around the market square at night, it seemed like such a waste of time to be lurking there, but Woo Yay, good old richardA appeared at just the right time. After a silly period of "is that really him?" on my part, we exchanged fire from opposite sides of a group of people including the umpire, inconclusively, until I moved away and got in a shot to his torso without gaining myself any bullet holes of my own.

The naughty chap managed to hit the umpire, too! Ooooooh! Bad richardA!

Then we played molest the lamppost and pester the security camera.

The Umpire reports:

richardA shot me in the process however. suggestions of punishment include locking him in a room with Cal or a while, however this is probably too evil so he loses 20 points instead, though afterwards in order not to penalise The Moustache.

[Add/edit reports]


[08:58am] ++?????++ Out of Cheese Error assassinated JabbaWookie's and other alien hybrids

JabbaWookie's and other alien hybrids reports:

++?????++ Out of Cheese Error were feeling hungry and suspecting that someone was trying to kill them, they slipped out their abode early. waiting with extreme patience they say outside the door of JabbaWookie's and other alien hybrids. Needless to say the HC balcony allowed her to come the way I expected but giving her the edge with the superior weaponary, so the ++?????++ Out of Cheese Error being very primitive beasts fled up the stairs and were trapped. Stupidly I put my head over the same parapet twice and recieved a jet of water in the hair.

++?????++ Out of Cheese Error reports:

It supprised me to hear something else awake at this time. Bad dreams of cows and fields and shifty figures troubled me, but the wanderer of the halls surely couldn't have the same excuse.. could they? As I emerged to investigate he ran up the stairs and fired his RBG in my general direction. He died marginally slower than the previous occasion and stopped to chat. The possibility of breakfast ended our conversation, but I'm sure we'll meet again soon... :-)

[Add/edit reports]


[10:30am] ++?????++ Out of Cheese Error assassinated Riff

++?????++ Out of Cheese Error reports:

The timing is somewhat approximate as I have no watch... :-(

Riff reports:

Yup, timings pretty much spot on ;)

[Add/edit reports]


[10:40am] Animal assassinated Slobbering Wolf

Animal reports:

Having gone away for the weekend Slobbering Wolf has remained somewhat untouched in the game. I was unaware that he was back in town until i saw his girlfriend going into the showers as I was leaving. Tom need some coaching in the game as he had left his door open. I popped my head around the door, aimed and said "Good morning" then waited for his startled look before pulling the trigger.

after finishing dying he then proceeded to finish making tea. Hope he has a nice peaceful 4 hours and I'll see him this evening maybe. note to self: taking rbg to the shower does pay off.

Animal

[Add/edit reports]


[11:38am] ++?????++ Out of Cheese Error assassinated An Unfortunate Idiot Who Kills Their Associates By 'Accident'

An Unfortunate Idiot Who Kills Their Associates By 'Accident' reports:

... Enter report text here ... Sniper fire and 'grenade attacks' distracted me from my essay and I was confirmed in my opinion that my room is not the best placed by a shot to the top of the head.

[Add/edit reports]


[12:00pm] The crippled product of Jenny's sadistic tendencies made an attempt on Banichi

Banichi reports:

Was rudely awakened by the distinctive sound of someone playing with my letterbox and then retreating stealthily. Assuming they were still in the corridoor I carefully opened the door and stuck my head out, then hastily pulled it back in as an orange pellet flew through the space it had just occupied. We exchanged fire briefly then decided we were at an impasse and I closed and locked my door.

The crippled product of Jenny's sadistic tendencies reports:

So, Banichi - at last we meet on the field of battle. I'd been looking forward to this moment for a long time. Stealthily I approached his abode, opening his letterbox to try and get a view of his room. Curses! Foiled by a Dressing Gown Of Dhoooooommmm!!! (tm). Banichi seemed alerted by this and I could hear him loading ammunition on the other side of the door. Hurriedly, I raced to the end of his corridor and faced his door.

Sure enough his curiosity got the better of him and he opened his door. Ker-pow! I fired my RPG at him, missing by only a couple of inches. We exchanged ineffectual fire for a couple of minutes before he retreated. I made a break for it into the bright sunshine.

[Add/edit reports]


[12:10pm] Token Arts Student assassinated Semiautomatic Miscellany Consistency Validator

Semiautomatic Miscellany Consistency Validator reports:

While hunting for victims, I emerged from Trinity Great Court and entered Whewell's Court. Having decided that not looking suspicious was a higher priority than looking around suspiciously, I wasn't looking behind me and didn't spot Token Arts Student following me in. The first I knew of his presence was a bullet to the shoulder.

Token Arts Student reports:

Actually, looking behind wouldn't have helped. I was walking to hall when I spotted one of the few assassins I can recognise headed straight for me. I dived into the nearest staircase and looked for somewhere to hide. However, in my haste, I had chosen a dead end. Certain I had been spotted, I pulled out my RBG and prepared to die like a cornered rat. It was only when the suspicious person passed by me that I realised the true situation. Two seconds and two shots later it was all over.

[Add/edit reports]


[12:30pm] President Hutt assassinated The Corpse

President Hutt reports:

A man came knocking at the door to the presidential residence. After an inconclusive firefight at the door we settled it with a duel.

[Add/edit reports]


[12:35pm] The Minister of Health assassinated The crippled product of Jenny's sadistic tendencies

The Minister of Health reports:

On IRC, Ed Allcutt said he was going to Clare Memorial Court. I decided to head up there and have a look. However as I cycled down West Road, I saw the unmistakable form of The crippled product of Jenny's sadistic tendencies walking towards me. I turned into the UL, cycled for a bit and turned round.
Was he the girl in the blue top walking towards me? No.
Was he the guy with blond hair cycling away from me? No.
Was he the guy walking straight at me with a pellet gun in his hand? Er, yes.
As we were on the road, we agreed to duel it on the field next to us. it later transpired that:

  • I had never won a duel
  • He had never won a duel
  • I had never killed a Tit Hallian (apart from Polly saying she was alive yesterday)
  • He had never killed a Selwynite
  • I had never been killed by a Tit Hallian
  • He had never been killed by a Selwynite

  • The duel started, his two pellet guns against my pellet gun and band gun. He fired several shots which I dodged, I fired one then my pellet gun jammed. He retreated whilst still letting off the occasional shot to kep me on my toes. He seemed to fumble with his gun, so I went clsoer and fired with my rubber band gun; it got him to the right of his left shoulder somewhat fortuitously.

    To make the improvements in the NHS that we need to, we clearly need to reduce the number of patients. So I was merely doing my job....

    The crippled product of Jenny's sadistic tendencies reports:

    Damn! The first assassin I run into in 24 hours and he promptly kills me. Grrrrr. Beware The Minister of Health, for I shall have my revenge...

    *Goes off for more duelling practice*

    [Add/edit reports]


    [13:00pm] TROGDOR the BURNiNATOR assassinated The Jania Project

    TROGDOR the BURNiNATOR reports:

    Well it is the Caius GCSU Garden Party today and there is much death in the air. I stabbed poor The Jania Project whilst he watched a game of snakes and ladders. I am sure there is some irony in their somewhere.

    [Add/edit reports]


    [13:01pm] JabbaWookie's and other alien hybrids assassinated TROGDOR the BURNiNATOR

    TROGDOR the BURNiNATOR reports:

    Well like I said, much death and JabbaWookie's and other alien hybrids lurched in after carefully planning since his death earlier this morning shooting myself and the poor other victim. Ah well, free food and I suggest someone is dispatched hencewithforth to the party where at least two poor assassins remain alive ;).

    JabbaWookie's and other alien hybrids reports:

    The shade of JabbaWookie's and other alien hybrids (wow {P1}'s me this time) hovered around the group consisting of people from RC including Jaina Proj feeling the time was near when it could reclaim it's body it departed and returned to find three Assassins. Needless to say I couldn't shoot the (dead) Jaina Proj without attracting the others and could I trust them for 4 hours of garden party. Three rubber bands later (and the breaching of a provisional pact), I could.

    We then went to Chris Field's room entered the reports such that... (Needless to say I wanted this delayed so +++... would have to shoot three times).

    [Add/edit reports]


    [13:01pm] JabbaWookie's and other alien hybrids assassinated It Could Be Bunnies!

    [Add/edit reports]


    [13:03pm] The Minister of Health assassinated Holden Caulfield

    The Minister of Health reports:

    I went to Ed Allcutt's staircase for a bit, but only ran into Mike Cripps again coming for lunch. I gave up and headed back to Selwyn. I entered hall, and Holden Caulfield was getting his lunch from the servery. I walked up behind him and said bang at an opportunje moment. He said something about getting fliers about assassins on his door this morning. Anyone owning up? And why didn't I get any?

    [Add/edit reports]


    [13:12pm] ++?????++ Out of Cheese Error assassinated JabbaWookie's and other alien hybrids

    JabbaWookie's and other alien hybrids reports:

    ++?????++ Out of Cheese Error could read the report and come quickly down. Ironically I was just asking where Bryony Baines was when I saw her. The corpses pointed (I think but it might have been my consience ^), but anyway she had already seen me. Foolishly I prefered my place in the queue to my life so rather than fleeing I ducked into an alcove where I discovered again that even a light CPS can outrange an RBG especially when it jams.

    However all this mayhem seems to have attracted...(but it's not my problem)

    I wonder if I'll see be able to get revenge at the (censored) may ball.

    [Add/edit reports]


    [13:20pm] Honorable Girtonian made an attempt on Token Arts Student

    Muppet reports:

    Erm. This is embarrassing.

    If it actually *was* Token Arts Student who I shot in an obscure corner of college, rather than the doppelganger (also called Michael) I remembered about half an hour afterwards who would have had much more reason for being there, could he report?

    Otherwise, I am an idiot, and this should be a kill of a complete innocent for no better reason than "he came round the corner looking very like Token Arts Student when due to a mishearing of something Bjoern said I thought I was running away from Ric so didn't stop to confirm".

    Then again, this didn't occur to me until half an hour afterwards, so maybe it actually was Token Arts Student.

    Token Arts Student reports:

    First I've heard of all this. Seeing as I was in the faculty library at the time, I suspect that I was not the one eliminated.

    I never knew had a doppelganger. Makes me quite proud really. I feel like Saddam Hussein, only without the having to live in a bomb-proof building hidden where no-one can find it (I was lucky enough not to get a room in the Wolfson building).

    The renowned psychiatrist Dr Nikolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky reports:

    My preliminary diagnosis of the current state of the patient Ms Jenny Chase is that she is suffering from a temporary affliction of OIPS (Over Inflated Paranoia Syndrome - or as it is more commonly known J Doe's Disease). Symptomes include trigger-happiness, constant turning of the head, diving around corners with guns out, cycling from Wolfson Court to Girton College via Newmarket, mistaking nearly any phrase for "there's {insert random assassin's name}" and carrying more weapons than one's own weight. However it is also quite clear how this affliction came about and after having briefly investigated the corpse of the victim, it seems conceivable he actually was the assassin known as Token Arts Student. One possible therapy could consist of making sure she doesn't have to be paranoid anymore by killing all other assassins in Cambridge. I strongly recommend that the therapy should not be delayed.

    The Minister Reloaded reports:

    Err, I think I was in my room at the time. Although you would have had good reason to run from me had I been anywhere near.

    [Add/edit reports]


    [13:20pm] Honorary Caian assassinated An illegal non player

    Honorary Caian reports:

    Apologies to Token Arts Student!

    It's the voices, I tell you...

    The renowned psychiatrist Dr Nikolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky reports:

    Considering the most recent tragic death of an innocent as a result of the current OIPS epidemic, I suggest immediate action in order to contain the disease. All possibly infected individuals will be sought out in the near future and...treated.

    [Add/edit reports]


    [13:25pm] Shadowing Lemma assassinated President Hutt

    President Hutt reports:

    At some point the presidential Motorcade will learn to stop traveling by bicycle during Mayweek...

    [Add/edit reports]


    [13:30pm] Shadowing Lemma made an attempt on The I Didn't Do It Boy

    The I Didn't Do It Boy reports:

    He didn't do it.

    [Add/edit reports]


    [14:12pm] Fate's Least-Favoured Plaything made an attempt on Gandalf the Grey

    Gandalf the Grey reports:

    i had made the crowd laugh. though i just thought they were taking the mick, i played along, so 'look b...' was enough to set me spinning centre guard. the shot was straight, so it was double bad luck for the assailant :(

    in defence of being tarnished, all my "nos" to 40 min of bjorn appealing hits in our fight Were confirmed by lack of water by referee (nokes). i am v self aware and have trained v hard and v defensivly within what our ump explicitly allowed.

    [Add/edit reports]


    [14:13pm] The Moustache assassinated Fate's Least-Favoured Plaything

    Fate's Least-Favoured Plaything reports:

    The plan: infighting had seemingly already wiped out all the live players at the Harvey Court garden party, with the exception of a rather appealing 207 points in the shape of Bryony Baines MA. Surely, with no other live assassins in Harvey Court, she must be non-paranoid enough by now that I stand a decent chance?

    Now, there are a few things which no sweet innocent assassin such as myself deserves to have happen to them. Seeing Bjoernandjenny cycle past on the other side of the road as I was walking towards Harvey Court, then come to an abrupt stop a dozen yards or so further down the road and turn around was worrying, but not a particularly remarkable event for an assassin in Mayweek. What upset me was that as I made a tactical retreat down West Road towards the entrance to Harvey Court I saw a CPS-wielding figure which appeared to be none other than J Doe, the second PhD assassin I'd seen inside of a minute. Since he was still some distance away and didn't seem to have seen me, I quickly crossed the road and crept towards the entrance behind a line of parked cars.

    By the time I made it into Harvey Court he seemed to have disappeared, so I snuck round behind an ice cream van towards the gardens. There I saw not only the aforementioned J Doe, as well as my original target, Bryony Baines, but also Claire Bordenave and the Moustache himself.

    Deciding that bravery was the better part of suicide, and noting that none of the Caius war party appeared to be paying sufficient attention to the trees behind them, I then quickly circled around behind the still-unaware assassins. Unfortunately, just as I was at the edge of the undergrowth lining up a shot at the still-oblivious J Doe, a group of civilians off to one side shouted out, "look behind you!" I fired the shot; it appeared to find its mark in the target's chest as he turned, but as I was told later was apparently instead deflected by his still-furled shield.

    At this point I suddenly found myself under attack from four supersoaker-wielding Caians, and things rapidly went downhill.

    [Add/edit reports]


    [14:20pm] The Dusk Treader assassinated Hellacious Carbuncle

    The Dusk Treader reports:

    I went to a society punt trip. Noting that Nicholas D. Krempel was an active member of the society, I reasoned that he too might attend - and hence took my XP310.

    Alas, he didn't. However, we attempted to resolve a last-minute punt shortage by... phoning someone in Trinity! Guess who...

    So, as we pulled up at Trinity punts, to collect him, I opened fire from the bows, scoring a direct hit.

    [Add/edit reports]


    [14:30pm] Banichi assassinated richardA

    Banichi reports:

    Was innocently walking up Grange Road when I saw richardA approaching me from behind on a bicycle. Seeing as he was not shabbily attired I forebore to soak him and instead banged him with my rbg.

    [Add/edit reports]


    [14:48pm] The Squirrel assassinated The Highlander

    The Squirrel reports:

    Whilst minding my own business wondering down to check my mail, I saw The Highlander acting rather dubiously. My pace quickened and chose a different route in progressing on my journey. The Highlander was already waiting for me, we both fired at the same time resulting in a duel in the nearby car park, after avoiding bullets in a matrix-style fashion I managed to plant an elastic band in his side. My mission to collect mail proved successful.

    The Highlander reports:

    I underestimated the range of her RBG. Well done to Carrie, who used her fearsome The Squirrel powers to dodge four rubber pellets in succession.

    [Add/edit reports]


    [15:00pm] Captain Portelico assassinated An illegal non player

    The Man from the Door on the Right reports:

    Who would have thought Ed Wallace wasn't playing? This revelation took me completely by surprise. I suppose all that sneaking around wasn't really necessary.

    I prefer to see him, not as an innocent victim of a cruel and bloodthirsty assassin, but rather as an unfortunate casualty of the recent PWF failure, which prevented me from accessing a list of players.

    [Add/edit reports]


    [15:15pm] The Goddaughter assassinated The Dusk Treader

    The Goddaughter reports:

    Sometimes it is necessary to teach ones' parents respect also.

    A pleasant afternoon spent idling beside the river, knowing that The Dusk Treader would be punting past. As he came into view, I strafed along the bank to get an angle from which to miss the innocents all around him, and got him with one shot. He hadn't been expecting us at a point well on the way to Grantchester, but fortunately no-one else had preempted us.

    The Dusk Treader reports:

    I'd been alert, previously... So it's a shame nobody else tried.

    Still, being dead let me empty the water pistol into other punters with impunity.

    [Add/edit reports]


    [15:45pm] The Piscatorial Arts disturbed the rest of Joe Devils and Jeff Watson versus the Totally Insane Killer Rubber Band Gun of Dhoooooom!!!

    The Piscatorial Arts reports:

    Saw him in the street but he was dead already. Damn.

    [Add/edit reports]


    [16:00pm] The Minister of Health assassinated Captain Portelico

    The Minister of Health reports:

    It was at the CICCU Garden Party. I arrived during the talk, and saw Captain Portelico on the other side of the garden. When the talk finished, we eyed each other warily, and I began to chat to people around me, while keeping an eye on Captain Portelico. He went to get some food, so I walked up behind him with an RBG and said *bang*. He said that he thought it was out of bounds. I later consulted with the umpire, and he agreed with me that the event was out of bounds while someone was working on it, or while the talk was going on, but it had normal gardne party status for the rest of the event. In fact I remember assassins at last year's event killing each other.

    Sorry David, but it seems it was a legal kill. If you want a duel later in the week, get in touch.

    [Add/edit reports]


    [16:00pm] An Unfortunate Idiot Who Kills Their Associates By 'Accident' assassinated An illegal non player

    Semiautomatic Miscellany Consistency Validator reports:

    My ghost attended the Poohsoc garden party, at which An Unfortunate Idiot Who Kills Their Associates By 'Accident' found a committee member called David, and was convinced he was David Knipe, even to the extent of warning me about him. Tragically, we discovered after he perished in a hail of DHMO that he wasn't in fact David Knipe.

    (BUG: It was actually at 15:40, but the CGI script appears to be confused - the display bit says he respawned at 15:38, but the sanity-checking bit thinks he was still dead at 15:40. Both An Unfortunate Idiot Who Kills Their Associates By 'Accident''s next two events are also logged 20 minutes late for this reason.)

    An Unfortunate Idiot Who Kills Their Associates By 'Accident' reports:

    ... Enter report text here ... Oops. He had a suspicious name and suspious hair and I was too paranoid for my own good. Oh dear. I loose points. Make memo to self to find out who I'm after BEFORE killing them.

    [Add/edit reports]


    [16:00pm] Look behind you... assassinated A legal non player

    Look behind you... reports:

    People using super soakers in Clare Colony... couldnt resist the urge to shoot them. Oh well.

    [Add/edit reports]


    [16:01pm] An Unfortunate Idiot Who Kills Their Associates By 'Accident' assassinated A legal non player

    Semiautomatic Miscellany Consistency Validator reports:

    One of the Poohsoc committee got hold of An Unfortunate Idiot Who Kills Their Associates By 'Accident''s super soaker and was RBGed for her trouble.

    An Unfortunate Idiot Who Kills Their Associates By 'Accident' reports:

    ... Enter report text here ... While apologising to the above innocent I relaised (by being shot) that some fool had picked up my water gun. Despite the plesentness of being shot in that weather I still removed the dangerous threat to innocent life and limb (pot calling the kettle) from the world.

    [Add/edit reports]


    [16:03pm] An Unfortunate Idiot Who Kills Their Associates By 'Accident' mutilated the corpse of Semiautomatic Miscellany Consistency Validator

    Semiautomatic Miscellany Consistency Validator reports:

    When my ghost complained about killing of innocents, An Unfortunate Idiot Who Kills Their Associates By 'Accident' asked "You are dead, aren't you?" and shot me with his super soaker, just to make sure. I responded by equipping my corpse with my complete set of weaponry (in an entirely unsubtle fashion) and telling him a vague respawn time, just for intimidation value.

    (BUG: Um, the CGI script wouldn't let me enter a successful kill, but it did let me enter an attempt and change its status to successful afterwards?!)

    [Add/edit reports]


    [16:05pm] Animal assassinated The I Didn't Do It Boy

    Animal reports:

    Mr Anderson and I had a no kill agreement for the afternoon so that we could do a combined scan of town to find wandering assassins looking good to go to the grave. unfortunately the only assassin we ran into was the already dead Lachlan.

    After a quick half pint we decided to retire home but we would go by castle wolfenstien to see if the Holtzhaurs were around. they were not and we were not going to hang around.

    As luck would have it i spotted someone looking shifty on the other side of Madingly Road from where we were. on closer inspection i spotted that he was trying to conceal something in his pocket. I made my decision to shoot first and ask later.

    As I approached The I Didn't Do It Boy I pulled out my rbg but oh no! he's spotted me, gunfire ensued and we couldn't decide who had got the first chest shot in.

    "Duel?" suggested The I Didn't Do It Boy

    "What do you have in mind?"

    so we had six bands and ten paces.

    one...two...three...four...five...six...seven...eight...nine...ten...turn...

    damn we are both out of range, couple of steps back in, ping, ping, ping, one of mine connects with his left arm, he pulls out his other arm and uses that. too late, a shot to the chest sees him lying on the ground, mwahahahahaaaaaaa!

    Animal

    The I Didn't Do It Boy reports:

    I didn't do it. He did.

    [Add/edit reports]


    [16:11pm] Spongiform Monolith Construction Vehicle assassinated An Unfortunate Idiot Who Kills Their Associates By 'Accident'

    Spongiform Monolith Construction Vehicle reports:

    As it was known to be close to my respawn time and we were both at the Poohsoc garden party, myself and An Unfortunate Idiot Who Kills Their Associates By 'Accident' discussed how to settle the inevitable firefight with minimal collateral damage, briefly considering a duel. With nothing to lose, I had previously armed myself fully, including putting on my Bandanna of Silly Martial Arts(tm).

    As he described how few points he was now worth, I sprang towards him, shouting "Haduken!" and throwing an impressive fireball in the style of Ryu. He was unable to jump over the projectile and died.

    An Unfortunate Idiot Who Kills Their Associates By 'Accident' reports:

    ... Enter report text here ... Having already killed some non-players I was understandably nervous about Spongiform Monolith Construction Vehicle. As we discussed what to do, he killed me in an amusing way.

    [Add/edit reports]


    [16:30pm] The Piscatorial Arts disturbed the rest of The Highlander

    The Piscatorial Arts reports:

    Stabbed in Borders.. but he was dead already too.

    Curses! I'll meet a live player soon...

    The Highlander reports:

    I was indeed dead, which was useful as I had to wrap and post a rather late Father's Day present. Borders seemed quiet enough and had tables. While waiting in the Starbucks queue I felt a thud to my left kidney.

    *Blink at Rosie* "Oh I'm already dead." "Bugger!"

    [Add/edit reports]


    [16:30pm] Banichi made an attempt on Look behind you...

    [Add/edit reports]


    [16:45pm] Norman Bates assassinated fix it girl

    Norman Bates reports:

    Friends in his room politely informed me he was in his shower therefore... Got to tend to my mother now. :)

    [Add/edit reports]


    [16:46pm] The Minister of Health disturbed the rest of An Unfortunate Idiot Who Kills Their Associates By 'Accident'

    The Minister of Health reports:

    I gave the catering team a hand clearing up from the garden party, and went into Clare Memorial Court to pour some juice down a sink, leaving all weapons in my bag in the garden. As I returned, I saw Jonathan Paul Woollgar in the gardens. I sprinted to Adam's room, and borrowed some weapons. I then went round to the gardens again, but An Unfortunate Idiot Who Kills Their Associates By 'Accident' had flown. After picking up my bag, a quick cycle back to Robinson was fruitless, so I gave up, chatted to some people, then headed home.

    An Unfortunate Idiot Who Kills Their Associates By 'Accident' reports:

    ... Enter report text here ... So it seems that The Minister of Health thinks I would be mad enough to wander through the CICCU garden party while alive. I knew many assassins would be their. I expected The Minister of Health would be their and as David Knipe was not at Poohsoc... (I had killed someone I thought was David- he had the name and suspicious hair- but wasn't, bother :-().

    [Add/edit reports]


    [16:50pm] Banichi assassinated An illegal non player

    Banichi reports:

    Passing through Market Square I saw Stumo. Though I wasn't sure that he was playing, I followed him anyway to a clothing stall where I shot him for suspiciously brandishing a skirt in my direction.

    [Add/edit reports]


    [17:00pm] minion assassinated The sign of N

    [Add/edit reports]


    [17:02pm] Batman dealt legal death to 9 innocents

    Batman reports:

    Got a storm Mk-III cavalry unit charging at a player in a bad spot.
    Got a pumping 1500 at the base of a player's staircase.
    Took out a 2500, a 1500, and a 70 charging at me in Harvey Ct. gardens, and a 310 who was annoying innocents.
    After tripping over the "please don't walk on the grass" sign, Batman arrives at the abode of Master Criminal Roberts and duffs up two of his goons
    *sock*
    *oof*
    With this saddle-rifle and dart-gun down Batman then apprehended Roberts.
    There were two more goons outside with XPs.
    *pow*
    *kerpow*

    [Add/edit reports]


    [17:16pm] Amish Pole Man assassinated The Squirrel

    Amish Pole Man reports:

    Was skipping through college when I saw the Squirrelicious one. We shot simultaneously and inconclusively. We decided on a duel, which on the second attempt resulted in a lethal stab wound to her and a right-arm disabling blow to myself.

    The Squirrel reports:

    Amish Pole Man attacked me as I attacked him, we had a duel which turned out inconclusive and so took part in a second duel. The Amishites gun rapidly ran out of his 6 bands leaving me with the clear advantage only to find I'd rather stupidly loaded mine wrong, after the first shot, the gun was useless and we resorted to knives. I took his right arm clean off and was then stabbed.

    [Add/edit reports]


    [17:30pm] Animal assassinated The crippled product of Jenny's sadistic tendencies

    Animal reports:

    Complicated. i was in a innocent's room when i spotted a multicoloured weapon flash past the room i was in. a quick inspection told me that Mike Cripps was in college. called a no kill with him until he rounded the corner just so that we could say "hi".

    he disappeared and then i called on reinforcements. we stormed the corridor the we found him on and he retreated into the kitchen. which we then stormed with more aggression. managed to get the door open a crack and pushed "big bertha" around the corner and pulled off as many rounds as possible.

    "Arghhhhhhhhhh!" came the reply.

    Animal

    The crippled product of Jenny's sadistic tendencies reports:

    D'oh! Attempting to storm Fortress Girton only 40 minutes after respawning is not a good idea. Having run into the Squirrel and thought "At last. A kill!". Sadly, she was dead but still warm, so I loaded my RapidFire(tm) and run upstairs to find her killers. Ah ha! Animal and Mr. Anderson were there, thick as thieves. I charge down the corridor with only 4 shots coming out of my RapidFire(tm). Muppet!

    We called a no-kill and exchanged pleasantries. Then I ran off downstairs on my mission to find more Girtonians. MISTAKE! Appearing at the next set of stairs was Animal and more support, so I back-tracked, running into Mr. Anderson. I legged it back and hid in a kitchen, whilst frantically 'phoning Tit Hall for support. However, as I nearly finished the kitchen door popped open and a Killer Rubber Band Gun Of DhoooommmmM!!! (tm) appeared and blew me to smithereens.

    4 more hours then...

    Amish Pole Man reports:

    It all happened exactly as Animal described it, but with more screaming.

    [Add/edit reports]


    [17:30pm] ++?????++ Out of Cheese Error made an attempt on Token Arts Student

    Token Arts Student reports:

    Someone always tries to kill you when you most expect it- when you just know this would be the most inconvenient time for it to happen. So, when lumbering out of my staircase with my laundry, I see an aggressive shape coming towards me. Having expected this fully, I had my RBG out in no time. Laundry was safely deposited and we both hid behind a corner. Reasoning I knew the area better than my opponent, I proceeded to run around in a circle to come up behind them. In the meantime, not content to just sit there, they made their way to a sniping point overlooking where they had just been. I was hit in the shoulder, but managed to get a shot off to the chest before I was fully dowsed.

    We couldn't agree on what had happened, so we agreed on a duel. The question of weapons was raised, and I, wishing to fight on semi-even terms, said that the RBG and RPG I was carrying were all I had. I was hoping for a match of skill and rubber over the main court of Blue Boar, something I've always wanted to try. However, when we were standing on opposite sides of the central feature, I noticed my opponent was somewhat more heavily armed than myself- a water pistol and shield to counter my RBG. I was outranged, outgunned and in trouble. This called for a plan.

    "Bye!" I shouted as I ran into the maze of blue boar, reasoning that I had about a 10 second start before I was in range. Turning right, right again, right a third time, then right once more, then up, right, then into the corridors of Wolfson, I hoped to lure my adversary into a position where my knowledge of the terrain would nullify the fact that I was underarmed. I turned around and noticed one minor problem.

    I had lost my pursuer. I'm not the most athletic of people, so I wasn't expecting to outrun anyone. I had not reckoned on the fact that the person following me was encumbered by a heavy gun and an umbrella. I waited for a while, but clearly I had, for the first time ever, been too effective at running for my own good. Therefore, I had to try and find and eliminate my opponent. Running from cover to cover, I caught a brief glimpse of the other duelist, off in the distance. I waited where I expected I could ambush them as they searched for me. After a few minutes though, I realised that they were not coming. I returned to my laundry, where it had all began, and waited. However I suspect that I had come back too late, since no one returned.

    I picked up my washing and headed off to the laundry. However, if Bryony would like to try again, I'm quite happy for us to have another duel. I'd hate to think someone thought I would actually violate a duel and run away, so if you want to try again, I'm happy to try.

    ++?????++ Out of Cheese Error reports:

    On a *casual* wander through trinity I happened to chance on a certain historian busily occupied with his washing. We both seemed slightly startled and ran in opposite directions when my RBG jammed, I retreated up a handy stairwell, swapped to the 240 and sniped him as he ran past. Mike said I'd got him so I let down guard and got shot in the face by much fast moving rubber. As he'd told me he was dead previously we agreed to duel with our current weapons - him with a RBG and me with the 240 and a shield. As soon as the duel began he legged it in the other direction towards the exit and I lost him round the corner. I explored for a while but left, fearing an ambush by the assorted easily summonable trinitarians in the vicinity. We hadn't defined boundaries for the duel, so I'm not sure if this counts as him running from duel or me, as he may have stayed in the area.

    ++?????++ Out of Cheese Error reports:

    OOh a report! That wasn't there a moment ago.. I definately wish to duel, although preferably with the same weapons we had at the time :p Contact me to sort out times

    [Add/edit reports]


    [17:30pm] ++?????++ Out of Cheese Error assassinated Token Arts Student

    This was the result of a duel carried out on Tuesday.

    [Z]

    [Add/edit reports]


    [17:37pm] Batman assassinated Agranam

    Batman reports:

    Dinner-Dinner-Dinner-Dinner

    BATMAN !!!!!

    *oof*

    *sock*

    *pow*

    *kerpow*

    Following the trail of the Criminal Cyclist of Grange Road, who was Trying to Take Over Gotham City with the Giant Hemlock--Triffid Spawnofthedevil Whiteflower Tallgrower Monsterstalk Plantation behind Clare Hall West, the Dynamic Duo (supported by Batgirl) pull up the Batmobile in Storeys Way and storm the likely hideout of "the unknown man in only One picture of the General's event". After heavy resistance from the glum First Undergraduate, Batman gets snared by the Do Not Walk on the Grass Sign -- no doubt another product of the twisted Geneticist's imagination. He is now hanging upside down above a large vat of acid outside A staircase, being slowly lowered, when Robin comes up with an escape plan consisting in Getting Up off the Ground you Fool. There was then a big fight with Roberts' Goons, then Roberts was apprehended with a supersoaker, then even more Goons were taken out. But Batman was foiled, because Robin had messed up with the Criminal Identification Device, and the picture was actually of the more appropriate Silly Master Criminal Vegetablegrower. At this point we realised the Daleks might also be implicated and returned baffled by their criminal insanity to the comfort of the batcave...

    might Matthew Garrett also be implicated?

    what will happen to the dynamic duo now?

    find out

    *same place*

    *same time*

    *next May week*

    dinner-dinner-dinner-dinner

    [credits]

    [Add/edit reports]


    [17:45pm] The Moustache assassinated President Hutt

    President Hutt reports:

    At 17:45 today an assault was made by a number of unknown individuals on the Presidential Palace. Utilising a hole in presidential security an individual only recognisable by his 70's porn star style moustache assassinated the president today. A spokesman for the president said following the incident "I think this guy is in line for the Kenny award you know, man is he incompetant"

    A spokesman for the origami League denied all knowledge of the incident.

    [Add/edit reports]


    [18:40pm] Animal assassinated Daneaxe

    Animal reports:

    Having ventured down to hall for my tea i was wandering back to my room when i spotted Benedict moving in a group of people. he also spotted me so i casually walked around the corner and took the safety off of "Big Bertha". two rounds, one from each barrel saw his blood stain on the wall. once again Daneaxe has fallen to the mighty Animal.

    Animal

    Daneaxe reports:

    Sadly, even when moving from one room to another during a choir rehearsal, you're not safe from the terrifying might of these heartless killers.

    Is nothing sacred?

    [Add/edit reports]


    [18:45pm] Look behind you... assassinated Spongiform Monolith Construction Vehicle

    Spongiform Monolith Construction Vehicle reports:

    As I was peacefully sitting outside Savino's going about my legitimate business (um, OK, so I was recording previous death reports for future reference, since the CGI script hadn't accepted them and I'd been in a hurry), I noticed Look behind you... heading towards me, looking rather conspicuous in a dinner jacket. We both pulled out rubber band guns and fired a couple of shots. Unfortunately, sitting behind a café table does not facilitate dodging, so he hit first, splattering my brains across the shop front.

    Look behind you... reports:

    I can only be bothered to write the one report for the Emma May Ball. I will link all the others to this one. Too tired to do anything else!

    6:45pm - After returning from Clare Colony and the two abortive attempts by Ed Allcutt, I spot Simon Mcvittie outside a cafe next to Emma, eating and writing a report. Shot him. Owner of shop come out and enquires where to obtain a RBG. lol

    10:20pm - Shot Adam Sparkes at the Mad Hatters Tea Party. Look behind you...

    11:17pm - Stabbed Tom Garnett's corpse and stupidly ignored the unknown female he was walking around with.

    11:20pm - Tom Garnett introduces me to the unknown female, who stabs me while shaking my hand. Dishonourable, but effective.

    3:35pm - unsure of the time due to not wearing a watch, so I don't watch my back. Bad move, as Adam Sparkes shoots me. Due to alcohol-induced confusion over the time of the Joy Sumner incident, not entirely sure about whether I am a corpse or not.

    5:35pm - stab both the Emma assassins in the back while they wait around (before or after, I can't remember) the survivor photo. Ha!

    The rest of the night passed uneventfully (from an assassins point of view anyway)

    Spongiform Monolith Construction Vehicle reports:

    When you backstabbed me and Adam together, we were both dead already (your corpse mutilations showed up as kills for quite a while because the CGI script hadn't accepted my death reports for us), and it was before the survivors' photo.

    Adam thinks you were dead too, in which case that event *really* didn't count for anything :-)

    Look behind you... reports:

    I know it really didn't count for anything. But, hey, it was fun! You don't see zombie-kills-zombie incidents very often...

    [Add/edit reports]


    [18:50pm] Ways assassinated Joy Sumner

    Ways reports:

    Ran into Joy Sumner. Unfortunately for her she didn't seem to have a weapon handy.

    [Add/edit reports]


    [19:35pm] Shadowing Lemma assassinated Determinator

    Determinator reports:

    Returning upstairs after cooking a hearty 12-minute Sainsbury's curry, I observed the handle of the door belonging to the Shadowing Lemma begin to turn. Grabbing my RPB and bracing myself, I returned fire when it was flung open and he starting shooting at me. We exchanged several shots each, and then he switched from an RPG to a water gun which killed me quite convincingly. Ow ow.

    [Add/edit reports]


    [19:40pm] Slobbering Wolf assassinated the disposable blade of death

    Slobbering Wolf reports:

    The Disposable Blade was caught unawares as he queued for the footlights event at the adc theatre. The Slobbering Wolf pounced on his victim and plunged his deadly claw into the victims heart - he died instantly, though in great pain.

    [Add/edit reports]


    [19:50pm] Nikolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky assassinated Shadowing Lemma

    Nikolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky reports:

    
    One man deserves the credit,
    (for shooting Shadowing Lemma)
    One man deserves the blame,
    (for blocking Jenny's line of fire)
    And Nikolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name!
    One man spotted a target on a bike,
    (who was cycling slowly and couldn't really escape)
    One man's reports are all the same,
    (I even used this line before, I think)
    And Nikolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name!
    Oi!
    (or OIPS?)
    

    [Add/edit reports]


    [20:00pm] The Kinky Pizza Delivery Girl from Hell assassinated Harris

    Honorable Girtonian reports:

    After shooting Matt, we ran into Jen, and fought her as well, restoring the honour of Cambridge (well, 2 versus 1, with better weapons, and it still took us ages- but still, honour of a sort. Or points, anyway.)

    Nikolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky reports:

    The target was spotted, surrounded by an intricate maneuver of our shieldwall and died in the crossfire of our guns.

    [Add/edit reports]


    [20:07pm] Amish Pole Man assassinated Mr Anderson

    Amish Pole Man reports:

    We had a no-kill pact until 20:00. It expired, he was off his guard. Fool.

    Mr Anderson reports:

    Mr Anderson assassinated me. As Preator Fenix, warrior and hero of Starcraft would say, "There is no shame in defeat, so long as the spirit is unconquered." Unfortunately mine has been. May the spirit of Bjoern be with me always, and may he protect me from the evils of Ed Nokes.

    [Add/edit reports]


    [20:10pm] The Kinky Pizza Delivery Girl from Hell assassinated Inigo Montoya

    The Kinky Pizza Delivery Girl from Hell reports:

    Wandering past the Trinity may ball queue, we ran into Inigo Montoya and I shot him.

    [Add/edit reports]


    [20:15pm] The Piscatorial Arts made an attempt on Crazed Baron Haha

    The Piscatorial Arts reports:

    I couldn't resist taking a pot at her when I saw her walking down Trinity Street, but I was too late and she made it safely round the corner. Being a really crap runner I decided pursuit would not be a safe option.

    [Add/edit reports]


    [20:20pm] JabbaWookie's and other alien hybrids made an attempt on Ways

    JabbaWookie's and other alien hybrids reports:

    Having sent lot's of E-mails and coming to the gradual realisation that more people were on the welcoming committee than out and this was a little unstable. Arrived for Dip Soc early, waited in Kings for 40 minutes before spotting 1 of the prearranged acomplices. Watched said accomplice for 5 minutes from vantage point. Came down stairs, he saw me hands on RBG/water pistol in bag from distance. We stand nervous. Carefully I dropped my RBG to the floor and kicked it in front until I am close enough to talk but still able to respond to a sudden move.

    Wait in stairwell see Ways, shoot from between gap between door and walls rthen through the open door. Alas I could not see if they hit. Johannes Nordstrom retreats drops the bag and pulls out RBG whereupon we pause to see if the first hits hit. This was undecided, and distrustful of losing all in a duel decided to call a truce and entered the Safe Zone.

    Assumed JJ was at Trin Ball he wasn't so we missed him(probably fortunate).

    However on leaving too much internal paranoia...

    An Unfortunate Idiot Who Kills Their Associates By 'Accident' reports:

    ... Enter report text here ... Being the accomplace. I was slighty further inside the buildign and so didn't get a shot at the target.

    Ways reports:

    Got ambushed on the way to dipsoc, but it wasn't quite clear what happened. In the end we figued that I had only been hit in the arm, and that we couldn't be bothered to try and kill each other.

    [Add/edit reports]


    [20:30pm] The Dusk Treader assassinated Oscar the Grouch

    The Dusk Treader reports:

    Oscar the Grouch was working the Emmanuel Ball. I met her. We said 'hi'. I introduced her to Fluffy again.

    This time, she was still alive when this happened.

    [Add/edit reports]


    [21:27pm] The Jania Project assassinated Ways

    The Jania Project reports:

    As Diplomacy soc is a breeding ground for assasins, I was suprised to see such a low turnout for my killing spree. I can grant that Ways has very fast reactions being able to unleash two shots from his RBG before I got a chance to stab him but luckly for me he is also blessed with poor aim so in the search for finding his ammo, being 2 meters behind me I descovered that is was not me dead but he.

    Ways reports:

    I was called by nature out of the safety of the society meeting, and was sneakily ambushed on my way back by The Jania Project.

    [Add/edit reports]


    [21:35pm] Sean Connery made an attempt on The Jania Project

    Sean Connery reports:

    Was next to Johannes' door in evening suit, grey wig and bushy eyebrows when who should walk past but De Rivaz, oblivious to fate and yet looking behind himself every two seconds? I put my hand on my ppk when...

    [Add/edit reports]


    [21:36pm] Sean Connery made an attempt on Banichi

    Sean Connery reports:

    ...the Bearded Hitman appeared, also tailing Ambassador De Rivaz!

    *Intensifying Guitar-Chords*

    So I tailed the Bearded Hitman, but he started sprinting. I thought he had noticed me, so I was worried when he stopped and turned. I reckoned he'd figured out he had the bigger gun, and so would chase me. So I sprinted the other way round Gran Santa Tia-Marias to ambush him out of the Bazaar, whilst calling 004 and 008 for backup. I maintain De Rivaz noticed None of this!

    [Add/edit reports]


    [22:01pm] The Highlander made an attempt on Banichi

    The Highlander reports:

    I thought I'd do a bit of ball queue hunting. Unfortunately I got held up several times on trying to leave Girton, so by the time I got into town all was rather quiet. I decided to head towards Jesus Green to phone my Dad and wish him happy Father's Day, but nearly ran straight into Bjoernandjenny at about 8.30. I opened my shield to declare my intentions, but figured I was unlikely to win a fight against the two of them. I ran. Fast. Hell yeah.

    Later on I was considering heading back to Castle Wolfsonstein to inspect a painful emerging blister, but outside Great St Mary's spotted a suspicious character zig-zagging across the street. A cursory inspection revealed it to be Banichi. Again I unfurled the Girton Shield and drew my RPG. Banichi ran around the far side of GSM when I started running at him.

    He then emerged from behind the scaffolding opposite King's. We exchanged banter about whether we could see pellets in the dark, but I fired one at him anyway just to make sure he kept a respectable distance. Being in pain and not fancying a shootout on King's Parade, I headed off and let him go into King's for whatever mission he was on.

    [Add/edit reports]


    [22:20pm] Look behind you... assassinated Dalek designation #8086

    Look behind you... reports:

    Report here

    [Add/edit reports]


    [22:30pm] The Grammaton Cleric assassinated The Feared Pirate Assassin LeHutt

    The Grammaton Cleric reports:

    At approximately 22:25 I, Cleric McLean, ascertained the presence of the known Sense Offender James R. Bowe on Grange Road opposite Trinity Old Field. I followed him with appropriate caution at the recomended distance in order to evaluate whether the target was truly the person I believed him to be. He walked down Clarkson Road, and I knew then that his destination would be Churchill.

    Approaching from Madingley Road, I discovered a useful spot to hide myself, behind the bushes next to the crossing. Waiting patiently, I used my training to retain my calm and logic, and eventually saw him emerge. One shot to the neck felled the criminal in question, and a second to the ribs made sure. Any offensive material found in his room will be burned in due course.

    One less criminal to threaten our great Libria. May my efforts serve Father well.

    The Feared Pirate Assassin LeHutt reports:

    I swear there's some sort of conspiricy against me this mayweek. 7 Deaths is getting silly now...

    Kenny Award anyone?

    [Add/edit reports]


    [23:00pm] Joy Sumner assassinated The Dusk Treader

    The Dusk Treader reports:

    Smoothly executed kill, by one of several people I really should have known was playing.

    "Can you tell me when it's 11, please?"

    "Erm... It's 11 now, actually."

    "Ah. *stab* You're dead."

    [Add/edit reports]


    [23:17pm] Look behind you... mutilated the corpse of The Dusk Treader

    Look behind you... reports:

    Report Here

    [Add/edit reports]


    [23:20pm] Joy Sumner assassinated Look behind you...

    Look behind you... reports:

    Report Here

    [Add/edit reports]


    [23:30pm] Don Raps Nag assassinated TROGDOR the BURNiNATOR

    Don Raps Nag reports:

    Well, I'd met Ed Wallace earlier, so I felt that some people of the assassin persuasion may also be at Jesus Ball. I wasn't really hunting, but saw him playing Blackjack in the Casino. Hence I walked up to him and shot him. Which was nice.

    TROGDOR the BURNiNATOR reports:

    Well it was very lucky of him to find me. However as we were both playing exactly four hours later, and as he reached for his pocket, I stabbed him in the shoulder and then the back... ah the fun. Still someone should probably help me in that it will not let me post the report up, therefore I was robbed (pointswise :p).

    [Add/edit reports]


    [23:48pm] The Gunboat Diplomat assassinated JabbaWookie's and other alien hybrids

    [Add/edit reports]


    [23:48pm] The Gunboat Diplomat assassinated An Unfortunate Idiot Who Kills Their Associates By 'Accident'

    [Add/edit reports]


    [23:48pm] The Privileges of Diplomacy assassinated Logain

    The Privileges of Diplomacy reports:

    The Dipsoc Massacre: a well executed ambush outside King's left none of them alive.

    [Add/edit reports]


    [23:53pm] Shadowing Lemma assassinated An illegal non player

    Shadowing Lemma reports:

    Hosnestly. How many people can there be, with keys to the other half of my building, with a shaved head. Apparently he wasn't Mike - but theres only a black guy, and someone else it wasn't living there....

    The Kinky Pizza Delivery Girl from Hell reports:

    The first thing you did on resurrecting?!

    I thought it was just me who did things like that. :)

    [Add/edit reports]

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    Produced at Fri Jul 4 13:40:59 2003