Animal reports:
Spotted Mr Anderson and his master walking toward a party. gave chase, ran out of ammo and ran off again. outcome, wheezey breath and still alive.
Animal reports:
The Highlander was known to be tutoring Mr Anderson in the ways of the assassin. they were walking to a well known party when i saw them and gave chase, ran out of ammo and ran off again. no kills all round. how dull.
The Highlander reports:
After Mr Anderson and I had spent an evening discussing assassins, we decided to head to a house party nearby with friends. A mutual friend of myself and Animal informed me that Animal had been waiting for me so as to kill me, but would try again tomorrow. I then decided to take my ridiculously large umbrella and RPG (both suitably in Girton colours) to said party in case of an ambush.
It later emerged that Animal saw me wielding said item of defence as we walked outside and decided to make an attempt. I was just talking to my apprentice about the benefit of a sixth sense in the game, when I heard footsteps thudding behind us from across the playing fields. I opened the item and cocked my pistol, and Animal pursued Mr Anderson.
After a bit of falling over and me firing a few random shots, mainly for psychological purposes, I realised that no-one could see hits in the dark. He fired bands at me but they hit my shield. I got close enough to do a one-metre bang but at that point he spun round and knocked my umbrella down, breaking it completely. We decided to annul the whole thing because, inter alia, no-one could see what happened in the dark, he had broken rule 1.2.10 (no violence) and then tried to kill Mr Anderson immediately our kill discussion had taken place, while Peter was standing next to us.
The Doctor reports:
I returned from Castle Wolfsonstein feeling very paranoid. After a quick check of the vans and Gardies, I headed home. Only to discover a **Dalek** at the bottom of my staircase. A problem, especially as I had no tank-killing weaponry on me...
Just to scare the poor guy, I fired at the Dalek with my rifle, enjoying the ricochets immensely. (I was of course aiming for the tiny hole he was firing out of). We exchanged a few shots, with neither of us gaining the advantage, until his RBG jammed. I took the opportunity to run up the stairs and force my rifle through the top of the Dalek and a bang-kill was then inevitable.
Sorry, Davros, killed you again. And also sorry for any damage I may have done to that Dalek, which obviously took quite a while to build.
Dalek designation #8086 reports:
**** CONTACT REPORT ****
Arrived at designated target area:
U STAIRCASE
EMMANUEL COLLEGE
CAMBRIDGE
UNITED KINGDOM
EARTH
MILKY WAY
at +02003-06-15T01:18:00+1:00.
Designated target (Look behind you...) arrived +02003-06-15T01:48:34+1:00.
Opened fire on target as instructed.
##ERROR: SYSTEM MALFUNCTION##
Mk I RB WEAPONS SYSTEM JAMMED.
THIS CANNOT BE THE DALEKS ARE THE SUPERIOR BEINGS; THESE PRIMITIVE HUMANOID LIFEFORMS SHOULD NOT BE ABLE TO HARM US. EXTERMINATE, EXTERMINATE, EXTERM...
*** CONTACT WITH DALEK #8086 LOST ***
Stealthy Maker of Covert Video reports:
To aid in target recognition, I have acquired images of the Dalek. Use them wisely.
Animal reports:
mmmm, I love the smell of death in the morning. It wasn't planned nor was it very eventful. its just that the disposable blade of death happens 5to live on the same corridor as the washing machines. he was walking to the swimming pool when i saw him. he was unarmed so i thought that he would have run but he didn't. he just kept walking toward me. i thought that he must have some secret plan but he didn't. he just said "Thanks" after i shot him and kept walking. a most dissapointing end to my first kill.
minion reports:
I thought his pseudonym was inappropriate and decided it would be in my best interests to do something about it. :)
minion reports:
G-morning Sue!
Joe Devils and Jeff Watson versus the Totally Insane Killer Rubber Band Gun of Dhoooooom!!! reports:
I hate shopping during gametime. Sixty assassins in Cambridge and only one Sainsbury's to go round really isn't good enough odds of a quiet trip.
And indeed, rounding a corner near the frozen meats, I came face-to-face with Logain. We both froze for a fraction of a second, then as I drew and fired, he took off down the dairy produce aisle. I watched with awe as he executed some sort of flying leap over a startled shop assistant, but my next shot caught him squarely in the back.
The Kinky Pizza Delivery Girl from Hell reports:
That's why you go to Asda before the game starts.
Animal reports:
This, however did happen. why is it that i keep killing people when i am doing my washing? maybe i should try to do some washing at all times just so that i can keep killing people. it goes to show that you should always be prepared to play at any time no matter what you are doing.
I saw her on the stairs in between my room and the wash room. pulled out my rbg and killed her before she had chance to say "oh buggery"
Animal
A non player reports:
After being killed that much I had to get my own back.
Token Arts Student reports:
Something evil is stalking the halls of Cambridge. Well, not really stalking, more walking around and running into me by accident. But it's still evil.
Animal reports:
Ahhaa, my third kill of the day and the game. i love gardewn parties. the crocodile girl was spotted from my room which overlooks said party. Mwahahahaaaaaa!!!! she didn't even make an attempt to get out of my way or retaliate or anything. am i so scary that these people just freeze when i approach. maybe its my loud shorts. Sarah's choice comment was "That's not very gentlemanly".
oh well, i'm not much of a gentleman.
Animal surrounded by corpses.
Look behind you... reports:
Jenny should take note from my pseudonym. Saw her killing someone over the other side of Trinity Great Court and followed her as she went into a passageway. Fired at her with my rifle, but she claims it missed. 2nd shot hit though, but at the same time she got a nice headshot in with a supersoaker. So we agreed to duel it out.
At this point Bjoern came round the corner and soaked me again. Quite pleasant on a hot day!
We headed over to the backs of Trinity. Foolishly, I agreed to duel with any weapons we had on us at the time. This was a mistake as Jenny had a shield. Obviously, she won. Note to self - get some grenades.
The Godmother reports:
After killing Dnes, I went to find Bjoern, who was doing something probably very subtle and utterly useless somewhere else. Like a muppet I did no more than cursorily scan Great Court, and when Look behind you... came out of the canteen area behind me and took a rifle shot which whistled past me (I think, I certainly felt the second one for half an hour), I only drew in time for the second shot, which hit me in the chest as I soaked him.
So we agreed to duel it out, a proposition he seemed to find less attractive when I drew a shield. I chased him round a bit, he shot the shield a lot, I soaked him.
I fear some lessons to one's children have to be taught by experience, and this one was: a rifle is of little use against a shield.
A Volley of Rubber Bands reports:
Ed Wallace phoned me to tell me Johannes was in Sainsbury's... and while he was on the phone Johannes wandered over and stabbed him, apparently under the impression that Ed was playing.
Ways reports:
Ed Wallace "not playing". Bah, that's the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard.
Honorary Caian reports:
Surely since Ed was phoning Rosie to get her to come and kill Johannes, he was acting as an accomplice and therefore a legal target?
Animal reports:
At last a kill worthy of recognition. Same place as before, the garden party. Benedict was ready for me though. i approaced and he drew. i stepped back, out of range. he aimed. he was about to fire when... a none player stepped between us to talk to me. (Benedict didn't shoot). I made a hasty retreat to the building and went to a different door. climbed through some bushes so that i was directly behind him. waited for a few seconds and thought about what i was about to do. i have taken out half of Girton today, should i kill another? yes of course i should. came out from behind the bush and ran towards him. he saw me but it was too late, one shot from the trusty rbg and it was all over. He was lying on the ground with blood pouring from his chest. then we had a brief dring and i left.
Animal
Daneaxe reports:
Not even at a garden party, but the post-Chapel sandwiches and drinks. Shocking. Still, "those who live by the sword get shot by those who live by the gun"...
As John said, a non-player got between us, and I didn't feel that using human shields was desperately honourable, so John wandered off.
Now, Woodlands' Court has two exits, diagonally opposite, and I guessed that John, being the cunning person he is, wouldn't come back through the same door he'd left by. I wasn't sure if he was hiding behind the ornamental statues, but kept a general look-out and, yes, he did come up behind me, and was virtually on top of me before I noticed (embarassing). I drew, but he was slightly faster. Curses.
The I Didn't Do It Boy reports:
I didn't do it.
The I Didn't Do It Boy reports:
President Hutt hit me in the left arm.
I didn't do it.
Animal reports:
I spotted the disposable blade of death in the garden party, looked at my watch and decided that it was time that he died (again). i skulked around a bush and wlked up behind him. pulled out my trusty (but now bent) scmitar, one hand on his shoulder and the knife to his throat i said "I thought that i would slit your throat this time." and there was blood everywhere.
Animal 2, DBoD 0
Ways reports:
At the King's funday I shot Joy Sumner in the back at point blank range. Fun, fun, fun!
The Dusk Treader reports:
A duel. With swords. Three hits per location, and none of this backstabbing stuff.
I won. My blow-by-blow account was swallowed by the system, so I'll just recount the final tally:
Inflicted on me: 2 head, 1 right arm, 1 body. Inflicted on him: 2 head, 1 left arm, 3 body.
So perish all who... erm... get skewered like that.
The Piscatorial Arts reports:
I was on Garrett Hostel Bridge watching the incompetence of punters, when I saw Immad Akhund on a punt carrying a very small water pistol, so I shot him. He wasn't playing.
The Minister of Sinister reports:
I wandered into Trinity New Court in search of minion, but only saw The sign of N. Deciding that charging through Trinity with mammoth shield and RBG is the better part of valour, she died. This was an honourable kill, as minion could not then kill her for another 4 hours. Then we chatted and wandered to Borders together.
Look behind you... reports:
Oops this should be the 16th June
JabbaWookie's and other alien hybrids reports:
After fleeing Caius before respawning I tried to see if I could get other people. However the 3 people I tried were absent.(Riff,Sui,Davros) On the way through Trinity I shot a bloke with a CPS and another adjacent with a ((possible)sword hitting them both but from the lack of response I think they were non players (This report was meant to be under L-N-P but Jenny killed them all dead) Finally I waited outside Logain's door for 1/2 an hour but he wasn't in.
The Minister of Sinister reports:
I'd spent ages wandering around the centre of town, but had to go to New Hall Garden party, so I wandered back to Selwyn to get changed. As I walked in through the gardens, I saw someone who looked like Holden Caulfield in the gardens. On closer inspection it was, so I charged up fully armed, and he just stood there. He then asked me if the game had started..... Oh dear. Matt Swarbrick, who was also playing rounders in the garden then thwapped me with the bat for good measure. And they invited me to play, which I enjoyed.
Animal reports:
what can i say. i followed her around for 5 mins until she came back to life and shot her again. the she threw water at me. lots of water. silly girl. for that she will die again.
Animal
The Umpire reports:
Please note that you should not follow people around until they respawn while pointing a gun at them. Please withdraw out of weapon range and wait... And don't do it the other way around either - Obviously if the dead person doesn't mind, feel free to.
Otherwise it just makes the game boring for whomever. Also it may make sense to have a commonly recognised time when they reincarnate.
Joe Devils and Jeff Watson versus the Totally Insane Killer Rubber Band Gun of Dhoooooom!!! reports:
Wandering around Cambridge at lunchtime in something approaching a state of intoxication seemed a remarkably good way to get myself shot. However, as it turned out, I didn't see any other assassins until I ended up sitting on Lantham Lawn drinking gin and tonic and saw Inigo Montoya go past with a CPS. Accordingly, I ran up behind him and shot him, only to discover that he was already dead and had merely been patrolling with the supersoaker in order to prevent certain innocents who were also present at the Tit Hall garden party from running amok with their somewhat less impressive XPs.
The Lady of the Bouncy Castle reports:
I saw Locky and Pete wandering round the Girton Garden Party with hands in pockets, side by side, looking around warily. However, the bouncy castle provided cover and I shot them both ;)
Sir Bouncealot reports:
*Bounce* They *Bounce* didn't *Bounce* seem *Bounce* to *Bounce* expect *Bounce* our *Bounce* sortie *Bounce* from *Bounce* the *Bounce* bouncy *Bounce* castle *Bounce* and *Bounce* so *Bounce* the *Bounce* first *Bounce* attack *Bounce* felled *Bounce* both. *Bounce*
Animal reports:
We had been wandering aroung woodlands court for about an hour wondering when Jenny Chase and Bjoern would make an enterance (after a tip off from an innocent girl. the same girl, in fact, that Jenny killed at Robinson ball and stepped between me and Benedict earlier in the day). After an hour of pointless wandering around I was bored and drunk enough to retire to the relative safety of an accomplace's room. sure enough when looking out of the window 5 mins later i saw the whole thing. Peter John McGowan and Lachlan were standing by the bouncy castle when Mr and Mrs 'to be feared at all costs' jumped them from behind. lots of blood and screaming innocents followed.
needless to say i felt i had to avenge this ruthless atack but was too slow, the deadly duo had already left.
Animal
The Godmother reports:
One has to teach one's children some respect.
The Highlander reports:
Harsh.
Actually Mr Anderson and I, along with a few others, had been vigilant for about two hours beforehand, when The Godmother's first innocent victim of Robinson Ball warned us they were about. After two hours of paranoia, one's concentration drops.
Anyway Pete and I ended up isolated after the others ran to hide. Jenny got us with an XP before I had time to draw.
Jenny also nearly shot a few random innocents waving water pistols, but her Girtonian nature prevailed and she decided just to leave before the others (who had witnessed the proceedings from the second floor) organised a counter-attack.
Arnold Schledgeswigbiergartenhosteingunhollsterzinmeintrausersswagger reports:
I am looking for Connor. You are not Connor :)
Animal reports:
this one was self defence. I went back into the Garden Party to talk to Daneaxe about the rumor the a certain Mr and Mrs Holthaur were around. he asked me if i was alive and i said yes. he drew his gun but i faster. that and his jammed. still my trusty old rbg didnt jam and he died for the second time today.
Animal
Daneaxe reports:
What is there to add?
I must remember, when dishonourably shooting someone, to make sure that they aren't looking at me.
It's such a _shame_ that six-foot axes aren't allowed. That tends to get attention, but the Porters do keep giving me funny looks...
Mrs Holzhauer reports:
The rumours were true, taking account of bad spelling.
Animal reports:
What can i say, I was drunk by this point, well drunk enough not to care about spelling anyway.
Semiautomatic Miscellany Consistency Validator reports:
While cycling down Pembroke Street I observed minion walking towards me on the opposite side, deep in ice-cream-induced contemplation. I continued past her, did a quick U-turn, and cycled up to her, drawing my RBG for a cycle-by shooting.
As I pulled alongside she turned, recognition dawning in her eyes, and began to aim a tiny stealth pistol; but then my single shot found its mark, and it was too late.
The Baron Munchausen and his Four Bodyservants reports:
With the Germans at the door of Cambridge and the popular morale low come the sightings of a small white braid...
he shot at me but i lifted myself up by my own bootstraps and my servant carried me along at speed.
Two people with supersoakers walked through the plodge of (amusingly enough) Darwin College. They weren't fit for the assassin rich enviroment they walked through and died.
A friend of just killings reports:
In fact two most just kills, since they admitted to having soaked several random people during the afternoon.
Uber-Fluffy-Silly-Cute-Bunny-of-Dooooom! (UFSCBoD0) reports:
After managing to totally ignore Richard Atkinson at the CUAS garden party and even getting him a burger or two, revenge was had. A swift invitation to a non-existant event in corpus lead to Richard Atkinson arriving in my room. A quick shot to the chest, and there was nothing left but tea and cleaning up the blood. Mumm. blood. The Uber-Fluffy-Silly-Cute-Bunny-of-Dooooom! (UFSCBoD0) is not as Silly as some might suspect!
The Dusk Treader reports:
On my way to the annual dinner of a certain society, I approached The Mill (our chosen meeting point) from an odd direction - through a car park linked to both Silver Street and Mill Lane.
I was rewarded by the sight of President Hutt passing the exit I was approaching - not looking in my direction. Thus I snuck up behind him, and unleashed Fluffy.
The rabbit kills again!
Mike Cripps aka Scotsman is now playing rather than acting the victim, however due to his cast he cannot use or be hit by water weapons
Adam Sparkes has gone to immense and prepared a Dalek, it work to construct a Dalek, for this I have awarded him 25 bonus points, and would appreciate a picture for the sight if possible. The following applies to it:
An Unfortunate Idiot Who Kills Their Associates By 'Accident' reports:
... Enter report text here ... While watching TV there was a knock at my door. My peep hole enabled me to see that the 'student carrying out a survey' had an RBG. Opening my door while leaning against it I shot him with my water gun. I ordered his corpse to lay down its gun before opening the door to talk!! High paranoia and 'the bloody peep holes' can be useful.
Surveyor of Murderers' Cultural Values reports:
Curses, I knew that long-barreled RBG was a bad idea. I hadn't realised it was bigger than my clipboard, however :-)
So, does this mean An Unfortunate Idiot Who Kills Their Associates By 'Accident' would have believed my cover story had I managed to keep the gun concealed? Interesting...
Nipsie The Impaler reports:
Tried Ross' doorhandle to no effect. Then decided to leave. Halfway through his staircase i realised he was sprinting back to his room desperately trying to reach for his keys. Sadly, i only managed to impale him in the hindquarters when he was already in his doorway.
Cyril Fox reports:
It was supposed to be his birthday party, but it was just a cunning ruse to get presents from everyone. So, myself and a fellow assassin leaped into his boat, stabbed him repeatedly with a luminous knife before throwing him into the Cam (several times....). Muahahahaha!
Mew Two reports:
I was that "other assassin". Yes, we may have had 'a pact, you lying bastards', but come on - he was having an extremely cheeky non-birthday. Some fools even brought him presents. And we got to board his punt with knives between our teeth and make pirate noises.
I slashed at his limbs with my mighty cartoonish claws, but he was already dead at the hands of Cyril Fox. The corpse managed to throw Cyril Fox into the river a couple of times amusingly, though I understand this was reciprocated further downstream.
This was at like 6.30pm... revenge attempts were quashed a few hours later...
Bwah ha.
M2
After some playtesting, rules regarding certain liscenced weapons have been changed, and been encoded into the rules, these rules come into effect at 2200 Sunday 15th.
Please see the exact statment in the rules, which can be found here: here
Mr Anderson reports:
Upon seeing crocodile girl entering a certain society drinks reception, my master and I decided to ambush the target in a trap of her own making. The ambush was successful, if only because she was relatively unarmed and walked straight up to me and my master without the hint of an attack. Still, you've gotta start somewhere...
An assassin who needs to practice ambushes more reports:
At the same society drinks as above, I saw Daneaxe and the crocodile girl, and so planned an ambush with my apprentice. Unfortunately several members of the society saw me waiting with my f***-off big CPS and as well as getting in the way informed the two victims of our presence.
The crocodile girl got shot by Mr Anderson as she walked up to slap me for being so cheeky, but Daneaxe put up more of a fight despite only having 8 rounds. We retreated outside, but Daneaxe followed us round the court and nearly ambushed us. After managing to corner him, but with no easy kill either way, we decided to call a truce for the evening and let Daneaxe get home.
Mental note - next time bring a shield.
Daneaxe reports:
Fortunately Girton's corridors are well supplied with projecting walls and the odd pillar, making for excellent cover. Putting into practice some of the lessons I've learned from a degree in playing Delta Force, I kept in cover and held the two killers at bay, at two corners of Woodlands Court before being trapped between them outside the library.
Fortunately I was in a very nice alcove, with Lachlan worryingly close but covered, while Pete was further away in the other direction, but more exposed. Neither seemed keen to rush me, so we turned from 'war war' to 'jaw jaw' and agreed a truce in a highly civilised manner.
Ed says... I assume this was mean to be on Sunday, so I've moved it.
Uber-Fluffy-Silly-Cute-Bunny-of-Dooooom! (UFSCBoD0) reports:
Indeed it was sunday.
For some reason wearing a bunny tail is sufficient to get yourself assassinated. or so i'm told. lala.
Ha-Lan Kwin reports:
The Triad wants Jaffa Cakes, They'll do whatever it takes, But Harland was not afraid, And so they were not paid.
Thus they sought to kill him, In Cambridge's outer rim, Their hitman came on a bike, And made a clean swift strike.
Project 200 reports:
Oh, and that was kill number 200. A cycle-by shooting of a MA seems quite appropriate for the occasion.
Project 200 reports:
Waving your gun around when walking along the road is not subtle. A shame that parked car was in the way and I couldn't get as close as I would have liked to be, as a result I think I didn't quite hit her.
Project 200 reports:
Well, he wasn't particularly subtle either and sadly even further away from me when I opened fire.
Project 200 reports:
The reason why I happened to be in a position for the previous cycle-bys was that I was actually waiting for Strange to leave his hiding place in Harvey Road. I waited for ages, but apparently left 15 minutes too early...
Arnold Schledgeswigbiergartenhosteingunhollsterzinmeintrausersswagger reports:
I need your boatie picture, your threshold and your cortex...
Look behind you... reports:
I think we need to find a better venue next year. My only kill with a knife was an innocent. Well, most likely much less than innocent, because he was following me holding stuff in his hand. I hid in the shadows and jumped him, which no doubt was a bad move because he thought I wanted a fight. As he was at least twice as big as me, this was not good. At all. A quick explanation of assassins followed and I beat it *FAST*.
For the record, all sorts of odd things go on there. I think there must have been at least two *other* drug dealers (sitting in fixed spots for the hour). More amusing was the couple who were obviously caught in flagrante delicto and seemingly hid in a bush for the hour!
However, the whole experience was pretty scary and we definitely need to find a new venue next year.
The Minister of Muppetry reports:
I agree with Jon on this, although worth a try, I found it an unpleasant experience on the whole, the idea of being encouraged to attack strangers in the dark could have disastrous consequences. Would be really good if we could remove innocents in some way.
Down reports:
The couple in the bush?
It would have been a great disguise had we been bold enough to come out and kill anyone. Unfortunately we were too embarrassed.
25 points each to Bryony and Chris for their surprised reaction when I said hello to them from behind.
Wolverine reports:
There are certain rules you are advised to follow when faced by a man with 8in knives coming out of his knuckles, accompanied by two other assassins. The first is to run away, and was correctly followed on this occasion. The second is to avoid tripping up, falling down, and getting impaled. Here things were not so good.
Wolverine reports:
The third rule is not to run out from cover in which you are known to be hiding straight into the aforementioned man with 8in knives.
He was looking behind him a lot, which kind of gave the game away, so I apporached to confirm it was an assassin. Alas for I didn't get clsoe enough to utter his psudonym. damn lights.
The only one to get the jump on me tonight. Guess I should have avoided the obvious crossing point for the road.....25 points.
Headlines | UpdatesProduced at Fri Jul 4 13:40:59 2003