I had a job interview today with the nice people at Citrix - but little did I know they were secretly plotting to do away with me in the process. My first interiview poceeded with nothing out of the ordinary, but the second pair of interviewers came in and presented me with a box. A present, they said. Well, how nice of them. Apparrently they give one to all the interviewees. Isn't that nice of them. I thought best to leave it though - although I didn't want to seem impolite.
I noticed one looking rather dissappointed when I only prodded it gingerly with a pen towards the end of the interview, and immediately my suspicions were aroused, and clearly my evident paranoia over this hastily prepared device made them realise I would not be caught by such an attempt, for the preparer of the bomb (which was what it was) disarmed it and admitted the dastadly plot.
Long live The Umpire! All hail the Umpire!
Bald Rabbit reports:
A Cripps-Johnson production
Tom Hounsham as 'the man with both hands full.'
The friend as 'the man loudly asking about competence whilst walking out of the kitchen'.
Ric Brackenbury as 'the killer'.
Jenny Chase as 'the Godmother'.
John Haigh as the voice of Yoda.
Music composed and performed by Freddy and the Dreamers.
Based on a radio play inspired by a toilet-paper commercial inspired by the novel about a true story paraphrased by a guy on a bus.
© GMaf 2003
Handwash Only reports:
Having a supervision cancelled I was left with a few minutes of free time. I decided to use these productively and went to pay a call on Mr. Field. I was let into C block through a window by a helpful friend of Chris's who went on to IM to let him know I was coming. So I arrived at the door with him expecting me. I knocked and called out his name. He asked who was there. "It's Ed." He opened the door a crack and glared at me suspiciously, acusing me of trying to kill him. "Now, you don't really think I'd do that would you?" I asked, putting my gun away. I talked my way in, though carefully making sure I made no promise not to kill him. We chatted about various things, like his plans on how to kill certain other players. I took out my knife which I had waved at him with on Monday night, being the "strange guy with a beard outside his window" and told him the story of my only in-game stabbing. It ended: "I'm going to stab you!" and I did. Then twice more to be sure he understood I was serious. I then pointed out he should be more careful who he let into his room and left.
Dreamer of Electric Sheep reports:
My report is not long, all I can say is that I didn't know I was dead until someone messaged me to say, and alas it has been blamed on stupidity rather than honestly not knowing. I was confused for at least half an hour. Moral of the story: never trust someone wearing sandals (except for maybe Jesus). Oh and needless to say, I had the last laugh. Mwhahahahaha.
The Scottish Umpire reports:
And so it ends. We didn't want to end the game this way, but having not made a direct attempt all game we really had to.
Congratulations, Bryony Baines.Index | Wanted List | Incompetents | Police | Headlines | Updates
Produced at Sat Mar 8 16:07:35 2003