Gregor Clegane reports:
Stroke midnight outside Emma, my first pseudonym and I have a harmless walk and suddenly our man in Havana (where he apparently isn't at the moment), came around the corner. We drew, he drew, he shot, we shot, he ran, we ran after him, he reached a code locked door in time to save himself.
PS: You can pick up those darts at our rooms tomorrow, if you want to, Simon.
My first pseudonym reports:
I decided to take some time off and enjoy a bit of recreational killing, and what happened? Not one player was kind enough to emerge from their room and offer themselves for slaughter. Even the deadly Simon Ford ran away when I met him outside Emma. (PS: Simon, you can retrieve your ammunition by appointment from my house.)
Eventually, I found myself chez Ed Wallace. "Aha," I said to myself, "His window is open! A plan is revealed!" Cunningly stationing two decoys in ambush about his stairwell, I proceeded along the balcony crabwise, so to say, before affecting my startling entrance into the Wallace's lair.
He wasn't there. Warily, I visually interrogated the nearby rooms, but none was of interest except for a curiously darkened cell with the door ajar... and nobody inside. Where could he be? As I turned, I saw my companions diceing in the courtyard, away from their posts. Quickly, I moved away to the edge of the balcony to address them: "I shall stay here," said I, and verily, was I proved correct, as the fiendish Mr. Wallace rendered my person immobile with two quick shots to the back from that mysterious cell. As any good evil overlord would, he told me of his plans for World Domination, and of the precise events leading to my death: the guardsman employed to wait silently in ambush had in fact tried the target's door handle, and in doing so, alerted the room's occupant, who had promptly deserted his room for pastures new the moment his guards has disappeared. Grrrrrrrrr.
Then there was a carrot throwing competition, which everybody lost.
Mr Ed The Stalking-Horse reports:
AHA! My plans for world domination are almost complete!!
Well, no, but shooting Nokes is a good start.
Harvey court is littered with root vegetables now.
Insincere Dave reports:
Just now I went up to Dan Jane's room. There were some people in there having a real interesting conversation! They were all yammering on for ages about free will. They sure do know a lot about philosophy!!
While they idly yammered, I carefully tested the door to see if it was unlocked, which it was. Dan Jane must care a lot about security! Then I went in and shot his face off while he lounged rudely in a set-tee. He put up a real good fight!
My next exploits are guaranteed to be even more fun!!!!!
Burns reports:
What do you mean 'a real good fight' ? I screamed, and that was about it.
Must snap out of this cannon fodder mentality.
Insincere Dave reports:
I refer you to http://www.moleman.freeserve.co.uk/id.htm
Krimson reports:
Early bird catches the worm, the saying goes. Unless the worm happens to be absurdly paranoid, of course. I waited outside The Incredible Sulks room for an hour early in the morning. When he emerged I shot him repeatedly, but only managed to hit his left arm. He then used his right arm to draw gun and shoot me in the chest.
The Incredible Sulk reports:
Well, there was I, heading for a shower... I was being fairly careful walking out of my door, and checking caerfully...
However, owing to some odd noises earlier, I wa holding a loaded and cocked gun, in my pocket.
I was just criticising myself for being insanely paranoid, when I saw Krimson, sitting in ambush - I dived back, as he fired several times, hitting my left arm twice, drew and fired once - he stood and rushed forwards, his are damaged, attempting to shoot once more, hitting my left arm again (I was tiurned away, and partially hidden in a doorway). I shot again, from the hip - hitting him square in the chest.
JJ. The Musical Ass Factory Foundation reports:
My incomplitude was again shown to be most forthcoming as I was unable to remember to buy/make any weapons. Insincere Dave fooled me by knowing me quite well, so I wasn't up to my usual lightning defence reactions. He cunningly walked up to me and stabbed me in the twelvety with a stray bean procured from Johns hall, which was apparently a knife. It was crusty and stale enough to be convincing and it had the word "nif" etched onto it in biro. A lot of that isn't true, but you get the point. Shitstation.
Insincere Dave reports:
I went to St. John's to meet that great assassin 'Revenge In Lilac'. The way she killed me last term was really devious! Instead, I went to the wrong staircase and found someone who looked like her. I shot her in the leg before she asked what the hell was going on. I'm pretty smooth!!
I knifed Neil Morrison today, but I just realised it might not be a legal kill since it was between 9am and 5:30pm in a computer room. He fought back really hard!!
Automatic umpire reports:
Indeed, this does not count. Computer rooms are out-of-bounds during office-hours (9:00am to 5:30pm).
JJ. The Musical Ass Factory Foundation reports:
Oh goody! I am the champions.
Kelpie reports:
I happened to spot the Trilobite while watching the events around the Senate House at 10:30 or so. She was part of a demonstration to encourage the Director of the World Bank to drop the debt of 3rd world countries. I thought it might be nasty to stab her while both of us were participating in such a worthy event so I waited until afterwards to send the Trilobite to join the rest of her species, albeit for only a few short hours...
Insincere Dave reports:
Here's a pretty smooth character for you: The Society Curio. I saw him in the computer centre. Then I left the computer centre. Then he left the computer centre. I was waiting for him. What an original plan!! I perforated his puny torso with millions of white hot lead shards from my boomstick. I've never seen anything like it!
Insincere Dave reports:
Hey, since I'm such a nice guy, I think it's perverted and evil to kill the same person twice. But Burns just had to try to get his revenge. I'm sure he meant well!! He saw me sauntering out of Great Gate brandishing my semi-automatic Shoe-horne launcher and yelled an accursed battlecry before shooting a cap-gun at me. He was about six or seven feet away. Within seconds, my Shoe-hornes had sliced through his fetid body and begun dancing merrily about near some schoolchildren, who had been watching with some interest. They probably thought we were real cool!!
I went to several other colleges, but nobody was in. It was excellent!!!!
Burns reports:
I could've SWORN that was six inches...
Professor Calculus reports:
Spying my target chatting idly on Magdalene Bridge, I quickly nipped back to my room to pick up a dagger - you don't want gunshots scaring innocent civilians on Quayside - before heading back to finish him off. Luckily Zebidee was still there so I quickly thrust the knife in between his ribs while he was conversing with his rowing chums. A look of surprise turned to..well...surprise, really, as before he perished he informed me that he didn't realise he was playing this term. Oh well. With that he toppled over and into the Cam, before floating out of sight.
Gregor Clegane reports:
I was waiting to see whether Krimson would leave his hostel just after resurrection, but instead I happened on a 'monstorous' character, whose body happened to react in an unfortunate way to high velocity rounds (i.e. collapsing).
Krimson reports:
Gregor Clegane may be interested to know that I in fact left the hostel about two minutes after my resurrection.
The Society Curio reports:
I should inform you (since he probably won't) that David Chaplin is not playing. Someone signed him up as a prank (possibly himself in a fit of drunkenness). If I am lying he will soon refute this; since he probably doesn't even know this website is here, he will not. Umpire, can you please verify this and remove him from the game? Failing this, can people please go easy on him? He doesn't want to get wet but if you ask him nicely I'm sure he'll let you stab him or something.
Professor Plum reports:
Professor Plum in the study with the revolver. All shades of purple are belong to us.
Miss Scarlett reports:
Miss Scarlett with the revolver on the roof. All shades of red are belong to us. After visiting Frances, I went to Tim's room. Upon approaching his corridor I drew my revolver, when suddenly Comrade Krimson appeared from behind a corner. We opened fire at each other at point blank range (most notably his first two shots hit my left arm), but things were rather messy so that we decided on a duel on the roof.
Two revolvers, nothing else, ten paces each, the clock strikes three (obvioulsy somewhat too late), we turn and don't fire (because we are both out of range). A stand-off evolves at the access to a staircase, but with my slightlty better gun I finally hit...surprise...his left arm. Several exchanges of fire ensue, then after a salvo of fire from my gun I pretend to retreat for reloading. Krimson tries to use this moment by picking up the bands I fired (he didn't have any spares). However I had expected exactly that and another volley of fire takes off his right arm. Now somewhat helpless he tries to flee, but is eventually run down.
Krimson reports:
I was waiting in a nice spot for Balaam's Ass to return to his room. After a while I heard the door to the corridor open. I pulled out my gun and came out ready to kill. It turned out that the arrival was not Balaam's Ass but Miss Scarlet, but 'm not picky and therefore fired anyway. For the second time in six hours I failed to hit anything but a left arm. Bjorn and I then unloaded at each other, but the outcome was inconclusive. We decided to settle the deal with a duel on the roof of Cripp's court, which I lost after having been shot in both arms.
X:3_)--- reports:
Timothy mouse, despite the name, despite the picture, was actually a psycho. Therefore he machine-gunned Miffy with one of his mouse-sized machineguns. *mousesizedmaniacalsqueak*ratatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatat* Miffy was left as a multitude of mutilated morsels, so appropriately the conversation that followed was about buying glue to make repairs.
Miffy reports:
Ouch. I should have remembered Newnham now has a vermin problem...
The Incredible Sulk reports:
Well, there I was, avoiding being anywhere too obvious, when Newboy walked past... Again... Unarmed.
Now, twice is okay, but killing the same person three times just feels wrong, so I took a shot at her, for thwe sake of it... missed, and persued slowly, stopping for a five minute conversation, without actually shooting her.
Honour amoung murders and all that...
Burns reports:
Saw Yellow Warlock walking over Trinity Bridge. Walked up behind him. Shot him point blank range.
Duram Laddel Cham reports:
The mouse and the horse entered the crossroads slowly. The tall man with the close-cropped white hair who stepped from the shadows amongst the columns of Emma was familar to them. The mouse smoothed her skirts and sniffed, when the man said "Call me Be'lal." and moved towards them. They fell back behind a boquet of flowers. "Take the shield!" the mouse snapped, throwing a hand toward the umbrella in the hand of the horse and tugged her braid at him, but the horse hesitated. Be'lal advanced on the mouse, when the horse shouted:"No!" and came striding through the battle, his eyes fixed on him. Be'lal stepped back out of the range of the mouse's gun and said:"I thought you were neatly out of the way. No matter. You are only an annoyance. A stinging fly. A biteme. I will cage you with the others, and teach you to serve the Shadow with you puny powers." he finished with a contemptuous laugh, and raised his hand weaving water, but the thread dissipated harmlessly around the horse, who had not stopped or slowed while he spoke. He was no more than thirty paces from Be'lal, and he raised both of his hands as well. There was an instant of surprise on Be'lal's face, and he had time to scream "No!" Then a bar of orange vegetable shot from the horse's hands. Before it, Be'lal becam a shape of shimmering motes, specks dancing in the light for less than a heartbeat, flecks consumed before his cry faded.
Mr Ed The Stalking-Horse reports:
Trotting along towards Emma, a wild vision loomed before us. The mouse squeaked, and so our little menagerie hid from the evil demon. finding refuge in a herbaceous oasis, we split. I pawed the ground mightily, whinnied, raised my shield, and charged as the mouse squeaked with glee......and the demon fell beneath a equine carrot of vengeance.
X:3_)--- reports:
They sought it with Thimbles, they sought it with care; They pursued it with forks and hope; They threatened its life with a railway-share; They charmed it with smiles and soap.
(we were betrayed in corpus, and alone in queens. heavens knows what the guy who sequenced the staircases was on...) at last we espied our Snark,)
but the snark was a Boojum, you see...
(we fought him with flowers, we fought him with shields we were routed and disparate we were well aware that a Bjoern never yields; so the horse wasted him with a carrot.)
Once we'd killed the psycho, we decided to BE the psychos... Firstly, following the adventures of Lord Havarti, he with the Sword Silver Sinister on Black and Green Ruptured Catseye on a field of Red on his shield, and a thimble for a greathelm,the Madmouse massacred some nice murderers...
Gaynor Barrett was sitting on a chair, pistol in hand about to emerge on a murderous cause, when in rode the Outlaw Mouselord and his band firing many quarrels with their paws.
X:3_)--- reports:
Tim Hinton was the next to fall to the Mouse-lord's fire; his corpse kindly unfeathered himself and returned my darts :) House Havarti gratefully reloaded and then bumped into the Umpire, a-buying some juggling clubs as the mouse-host departs...
SHARK reports:
Yesterday I visited the abode of Chris Rice and decided to ask for Pete hoping his room mate would be so called I said I wanted to play football and asked if Chris was in this chap said he wasn't and didn't seem security concious so I left.
Today I went back and shot at a guy who opened the door and wasn't the other but the gun failed. It would seem that the replacement ammo my old accomplice (and current non player) provided me with was dud!! he said he lost his gun before he got chance. Anyway this guy didn't shoot back on realisation of this so i miraculously survived and rectified the ummm problem - I had at least three incidents where I came close to combat and thought my opponents lucky when each time it was me- trust no1
Mrs Faithful's Uncle reports:
Thinking I might turn this into a regular habit around meal times, I once again neutralised Ug Gug, this time during his dinner. Since he was facing the wall, sneaking up to him and blasting a bullet in his neck was rather unchallenging.
Mr Ed The Stalking-Horse reports:
I stalked his room.... I hunted the Blue boar all over Curio court (or something like that).
Then, as I prepared to canter home, who should I see but my enemy, none other than the dangerous revolutionary who threatens the core values of our society and equestrianism down to its very hooves.
So, to quote someone else, I waved my band gun auspiciously in the air and shot him in the back. A horse made a man look sheepish!
Krimson reports:
After the four-hour interruption of my stalking at John's I decided to pay Chris Rice a visit. The thingy in the staircase said that Chris was in while his roommate was out; a good omen. I entered their unlocked room, finding one boy and one girl. The boy asserted that he was Chris' roommate but I shot him in case he was lying.
Krimson reports:
I got bored with waiting for Balaam's Ass and went home. On my way I was greeted by Mr Nokes with a friendly "Hello" and a not-so-friendly knife in the back.
Insincere Dave reports:
Beakachu the cursed. Beakachu the weak. Beakachu the fallen. His new name is definitely funnier!!
I was on a trip to return an holy Bowe-tie, and to kill Rembrandt Q. Einstein. Although he had once been an adequate assistant, his arrogance and Greede had led him into the jaws of squalor, and he was no longer fit to be a Gentleman of the Shoe-horne. Doing the Bumps was definitely a legitimate excuse!!
Waiting on the stairs, two plump fellowes (one was an Woman) trotted past. It's what's on the inside that counts!! They looked at me with amusement on their over-stuffed faces. I should have slain them right there, but I feared my unholy water would have little effect on them. Yet I realised my folly when R.Q. Einstein hobbled toward his window; the dumpling-men alerted him and I feared all was lost. I'm sure they were only being friendly neighbours!!
Einstein squealed, "Don't bother, Matthew." That almost convinced me not to shoot him!! Then I shot him.
When Beakachu tried to escape his duty, And feast on the filth of his Neste, A stout-hearted Shoe-horne, be-haloed in Beauty Speared straight through his black-hearted chest. I am the best.
Rembrandt Q. Einstein reports:
'pon returning to my nest I was alerted by two kindly Dumpling-Warriors to the presence of a greedy blackguard skulking by the toy-let. I put on my magical shoes of wisdom and ventured bravely forth. To my relief the rogue turned out to be my dull-brained, wantwit servant who was returning my beautiful Bowe-Tie. I bade him good morrow and pounced t'ward my door. Judas! the dolthead ran me through with a hideous shoe-horne launcher. Had my wondrous shoes failed me yet again? I looked down only to find that the lackwit had stolen my magical slippers and replaced them with the sandals of ignorance. The Shame!
Insincere Dave, The naughty Knave, Greedily slew, Poor Rembrandt Q.
Frightfully Vicious reports:
Just got killed by Ed Wallace while walking through Trinity. He just happened to be behind me, and needed only 1 shot of a rubber band gun while going up the steps towards hall from Nevile's Court. Joy was unconfined.
Mr. Darn Smooth reports:
As a patron of culture, I was enjoying a lovely evening of entertainment at Trinity College. Some exquisite Vaughan Williams....some lovely Mozart...an amusing, if trite, little operetta. How obliging of my old associate Mr. Chow to come along during the interval, presenting such a tempting target, and making my evening's entertainment more worthwhile to savour.
Produced at Thu Jun 21 19:33:39 2001 .