This morning at 4 am I heard some people moving surreptitiously about outside my room, and being pretty sure there wasn't a bomb on my door I charged out and shot them. Both turned out to be non-players, moving quietly so as not to wake me up, oops. They shouldn't have been walking past when I am jumpy.
By the way, Father Christmas's mince pies are being retained for future investigation, but the attempt at a door bomb didn't go off and has been dismantled. Neither was touched in any way by me, although I suspect the sticky stuff on the bomb is in fact glue rather than contact poison and will therefore not be hazardous to bare feet. I'm not testing that.
Overly jumpy, I say. I mean... 4am, Girton, for a police officer?
Another day, another hangover, another bomb. Could someone please try a direct confrontation for a change? I am really easy to kill, honestly!
The technicalities: trigger underneath a door, string attached to a bottle with another trigger underneath it as well. Devious, I agree - but the whole point was somewhat foiled by the simple fact that I could see the shadow of the first trigger from my bed, and upon closer investigation spotted also the second one, after which it was just a matter of scissors, string and awkward maneuvering.
Today I went to die. It was a considered decision based on the assumption that I should do some work instead of turning up for lectures half an hour early (I just learned that someone was a little annoyed when I did that this morning... I noticed all the ws had been changed to rs on the note on my door...)
Since my inbox had plenty of volunteers for the job of killing me, I picked one at random and emailed Scott Boham. He refused to visit last night, so we agreed to meet in the Emma Court at 4.30.
I only told Tom Garnett at 3.30, when he sent me an email asking if I felt like killing Scott. I had to do it, I had to inform him...but I asked him not to come along with the best of intentions. I really did go to die...just one little tiny plan which involved my own resources only.
Not everyone is as trusting as me. All people affiliated in any way, shape or form with the Emma Mafia turned up to ambush Tom. Who I hadn't meant to be there.
I bumped into Tom at the gate and asked him not to go in. But he went in anyway.
Walking around very nervously at the far end of front court waiting for Jenny and/or Tom. Not having met Tom before made it quite difficult, but my life was due to end. While ensuring everyone was in position one more time, I felt a gun in my back. This was Tom. With my last breaths I asked Tom to take me to the front of college to be buried. He agreed and was then shot by Simon. Excellent. Please can someone look after Rudolph for me, he needs his dinner.
I was loitering with the most evil intent imaginable. My agents had informed me that another two wanted criminals would be appearing in Emmanuel, and I had to be present. I had had enough of being goaded by Tom Garnett; he may have killed more police than I, but I now rightly assumed my position as Public Enemy Number 1. My thoughts are now with my fallen comrade, Father Christmas. He tried to bring joy into the lives of so many, but he will be unable henceforth.
I walked in a couple of minutes after Tom, not wishing to be associated with him in the eyes of the Emma Mafia (who tend to get the wrong impression, of course....) He was talking to a figure. Another figure was standing behind a wall with a large water weapon, while Simon Ford was lurking round the corner. I had dressed to appear unarmed, and in fact had only weapons in a bag. So I carried on walking past the guy with the water weapon with my hands up, saying "hi" in case I was standing, hoping to double round and warn Tom. I got lost trying to double round, climbed over lots of walls and gates which said "Private", gave up and decided to walk back still trying to look innocent.
Tom, Scott and Simon were now standing around, with no sign of guy with large water weapons, so I walked over rather nervously. It seemed all but Simon and me were dead. I ran away from Simon, then came back with a gun in each hand and he ran away from me (apparently he didn't want to be lonely on the wanted list) so I faced the possibility that I was the only one alive, and rather unwisely put the weapons away.
Ed Clayton and the mysterious stranger came round the corner and Ed shot me with a cap gun. Then the anonymous player asked if I was Bjoern and when I replied in the affirmative mutilated my corpse with the water weapon. Who is he?
That would be PC Wig, I would guess.
Anyway, Scott Boham, Tom Garnett and Jenny Chase are dead. Pope John-John the 13th, Bonnie and Clyde, Father Christmas, the Inquisitor, Sergeant Quetzalcoatl, Fluffy the Killer Rabbit et al and Philosophers in Quest are no more. There are no remnants of Corpus Hostium. The Game is a sadder but a safer place.
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