The Police Forsensics and Intelligence division has revealed the preliminary findings of its internal investigation into the alleged corruption of Commander Mario "Sniper" Sainz-Martinez. The report concludes that the trail of intimidation, misuse of power, and obstruction of duty leads to the very top of the force's chain of command, to the Commander of SWAT himself. Commander Sniper has therefore been made wanted for corruption, and Chief Claire "Incorruptible" Bordenave promoted to the rank of Commander-in-Chief of the Police Force.
When asled about these charges, ex-Commander Sniper supplied the following words:
it's cold outside
and the paint's peeling off of my walls
there's a man outside
in a long coat, grey hat, smoking a cigarette
now the light fades out
and i'm wondering what i'm doing in a room like this
there's a knock on the door
and just for a second i thought i remembered you
so i open the door
it's the 'friend' that i'd left in the hallway
"please sit down"
a candle lit shadow on a wall near the bed
you know i hate to ask
but are 'friends' electric?
only mine's broke down
and now i've no one to love
A parallel investigation into the mafia connections of PC Alex "Bud White" Wood has revealed that he too has been co-operating with the notorious criminal Simon "Dial Emma for Murder" Ford. PC Bud White has been convicted of corruption, and is also now wanted. Perhaps this explains the problems the police have suffered in trying to neutralise Simon Ford...
New evidence has shed more light on the background of the Sniper Affair: Before the start of the game, Sniper asked the umpires whether he could have a secret police force, which would then infiltrate mafias etc. He was denied this request. At around that time, he received a series of emails from DEfM in which he was prodding Sniper to assess his potential level of corruption. Sniper hadn't been paying much attention to these, but after the umpires denied him of his little toy spies, he did strike a deal with Simon. He made a pact with the Emma mafia so that he could use them as a Black Ops team, who would perform any illegal actions he needed. He wanted to use them to blackmail police officers by threatening their lives and to infiltrate and destroy mafias. In return he promised to protect the Emma mafia from the police. He also created the SWAT team for the purpose of steering political happenings and such.
When Dial Emma for Murder went wanted, Sniper told him that the Emma mafia could kill any policemen except Claire and the SWAT team (Ribena, Editor, and Bud White). However DEfM had already attacked the other Chief of Police, who then handed evidence against the traitor that she had on to the DIA. Sniper then met with the criminal and they organized a SWAT raid for the following morning, in which Chief Incorruptible was supposed to get killed. But for some reason (healthy paranoia, I'd say) she didn't turn up and the plot was slowly revealed on that day.
In order to fight corruption in our police force, a new recruitment drive has been started. PC Plodge and PC Sheepy Tim have now joined the quest for law and order on the streets of Cambridge.
The Umpires would like to take a moment to reiterate the following rules:
This morning Isobel "Teleute" Barry was blown up by a bomb from The Unusual Suspect. States the bomber:
5:30am, a silent figure glides swiftly over the walls of Pembroke college and melts into the shadows. Ten minutes later, and a TUS special is strapped to the door of his target, Isobel Barry, wired to detonate the moment she emerges from her unsuspecting slumber.
How does he manage to get up at such an ungodly time, when normal people have just gone to bed? Teleute doesn't seem to know:
Perhaps it is due reparation for her treachery that Teleute was killed emerging from her room this morning in an entirely undignified manner by a bomb resembling a cow. The bovine explosive caught her unawares as she was rushing to a lecture. However the mistake will not be made twice and Teleute would be happy to join the police force - the criminals will not be able to take her out....
Teleute is now a policewoman.
Teleute's poisoned letters continue to turn up though their sender lies now beyond the grave. The Duck Molester provided the following excerpt from its personal log:
Today I found a poisoned letter in my pidgeonhole. There was a striking emblem on the death-note - CCCP - which alerted me to possible connections with the communist activity reported in earlier newsfeed.
Note the following:
I was wearing gloves. Even if I wasn't, the muppet had put poison on little enough of it so
that, the way I picked it up naturally, I wouldn't have been poisoned even if I wasn't
wearing gloves. There was a small symbol under the flyer, drawn on cardboard, with a word
glue-smudged accross the back that might have read 'Telute'...
The symbol was an ankh - the Egyptian symbol of life (mine, of course) and
death (that of my would-be assassin, it turns out).
"The Unusual Suspect" mutiliated the corpse of Michael "Bunyip" Cox.
The stealthy figure slips through the deserted hallways to the room of Michael "Bunyip" Cox preparing the second device for deployment. During final testing of the detonator, however, there is the sound of jangling keys in the lock and the door handle begins to move... With lightning quick reflexes, the assassin dives behind a nearby wall and cocks his weapon...
The door opens.
There is a gasp as the bomb is discovered.
Timing his move perfectly, the assassin leaps out as the target begins to
remove the device and in a roar of gunfire blows a fist size hole in his
chest. As his heart and lungs impact on the far wall, the shocked corpse
utters the words every assassin dreads to hear:
"I'm already dead!"
Dammit dammit dammit dammit dammit. Treachery is such a terrible burden on our society these days, eh "Teleute?"
His job done for him, the assassin exchanges pleasantries with the semi-naked corpse, apologises for waking him up at such an unearthly hour (do the dead sleep?) and bids him a prosperous unlife. Once again scaling the walls of Pembroke he steals away into the brightening dawn, just another simple jogger on the streets of Cambridge. Beware Pembroke, for though his bloodlust is sated for the present, "The Unusual Suspect" will return!
Another rather unsuccessful attempt to kill Malibu Man with a poisoned letter:
How unsubtle can you be?
A suspicious looking square of yellow card with 'Beware of the Moose' written on it!
Only a true fool would touch that with naked skin.
The message on the back informs me that the Pembroke Mafia are after me...
If they think they can defeat Red Squad, I say bring it on!
The wanted criminal Simon "Dial Emma for Murder" (DEfM) Ford continues to leave behind him a trail of blood:
This afternoon I had great fun either side of my supervision. Before my supervision I had little success as there were few police or assassins about. I did manage to kill an innocent in the form of Christian de Cruz of Queens. Sources had indicated that he was a player, but unfortunately he was not.
'Tis ungentlemanly to shoot those who no longer take part in this game. Take note, assassins.
Post supervision I was to have much greater success, leaving 3 definite Bobbybags (TM) as I went about my stealthy business. PC Sheepy Tim was the first to perish. Sadly for him, he didn't know that he was a police officer, and he slumped onto his keyboard when shot.
I managed to gain entrance to the King's Market Hostel and left some contact poison for PC Editor on the fridge door. I am sorry to resort to such means, but he was not present. I hope an innocent does not die, but I take my chances.
PC Burns was the next to die. Upon entering his stairway, there were 2 figures; one male, the other female, chatting at the top. I passed by, suspecting that he was PC Burns. His room was open and I entered, finding his pistol on his desk. After some 20 minutes casually lounging in a chair, I heard his footfalls upon the stairs and I readied myself. He dashed in and attempted to stab me with a knife, but he had barely entered the door when his body was riddled with bullets.
St John's is a known hive of mafia activity, and I attempted to enter the rooms of known assassins in the college, but with no luck. I was about to leave when I spied a figure I had encountered previously. She was in a hurry, so I had to run up the stairs after her, shooting her in the back like the dihonourable curr that I am. I do hope her zombie enjoys the Chinese Ball tonight.
On my way home I passed the Bene't Street Hostel of Corpus, and managed to enter. I almost managed to have a brief encounter with PC Plodge, but unfortunately his girlfriend protected him, shutting the door in my face. There was no point killing her, as I have no quarrel with non-players.
After this attack by the Emma mafia PC Plodge was shaken, but still stirred:
This evening an attempt was made on the life of PC Plodge. A would-be assassin came to the local bobby's door but PC plodge's girlfriend would not let the fiend enter.
In response to Commander Sniper's treason, and hence his share of responsibility for the slaughtering of the police force, officials have considered reintroducing the traditional (but rather horrid) penalty for traitors: partial hanging, disembowelment, followed by decapitation and finally being cut into 4 pieces with an axe.
Meanwhile Dial Emma for Murder (DEfM) went on unchallenged.
Throughout my travels I have heard talk of the sweet
manna of revenge; of mafia at John's and Magdalene,
and a non-existent one at Pembroke. I have listened to
dying whispers warn me of future attempts upon my life
by such mafias, and pondered upon the mounting piles
of Bobbybags(TM) I have left in my wake. How much
longer my reign of "terror" continues is up to the
police, but any thoughts of an Emma mafia are
completely foundless.
DEfM
PS PC Bud White feels somewhat upset, I believe, that
his name on the wanted list hasn't any red writing
next to it. Any chance of some for him too?
If he insists... PC Bud White is now
not only WANTED, but those who get him should
also
Having seen these news, the courageous Maverick sent the following letter to DEfM:
We the magdalene mafia believe that you are avoiding us, the police are
easy targets as they have already been killed once and are obviously
incompetent. You have not even attempted to finish of your targets, I
know this because one of them is in the magdalene mafia. The letter bomb
was a feable attempt and having one wire to a battery sticking out made
it child's play to diffuse. In order to proove yourself you should take
on some real targets, I mean PC Burns today, he only lasted 3 minutes as
an assassin, call him a target. I disposed of him with such ease.
Therefore i shall leave you will this phrase:
Come and have a go if you think your hard enough
Yours
Maverick
In a very recommendable act of civil action Jehova's Witness tried to blow up the corrupt police officer Commander Sniper.
This evening, on my way to something, I detoured to Commander Sniper's room, Considering that I was responsible for the note of January the 18th, I felt that now he was wanted I had no excuse not to try and kill him. My idea was to lull him into a sense of security by placing an obviously inept bomb on his door - one so easy to disarm that he would not think me capable of anything subtle. The bomb consisted of a litre of Nitroglycerine, in an old milk bottle, with a detonator from a party popper (more than capable of setting off such a volatile liquid). This might have been effective, had he chanced to open his door carelessly from the inside.
This design sounds somewhat familiar...
Before placing the bomb (at 17:50) I checked he was in fact not present.
The point in using a milk carton was the fact that it has one obvious way
to pick it up - the handle, and the detonator was arranged is such a way
as to cover the area in tape - this provided a perfect cover for my
contact poison of choice - arsenic laden marmalade (as you know,
marmalade never stops being sticky, so there is no risk of it losing
potency) smeared on the inside of the handle.
I had hoped that he would regard my attempt as laughable (which it was
designed to look) and grow cocky, then fall victim to the poison. However,
not only did he have a far higher opinion of the bomb than I did, he is
also incredibly paranoid at the moment (which he probably should be...)
and so avoided death - this time.
Jehova's Witness clumsily planted a bomb on my door today... while I was outside. Upon my return, and after a quick inspection, I used my trusty Leatherman to cut off the detonator cable from the door. Then I went inside, picked up some heavy duty gloves (who knows, Jehova's Witness might have poisoned the bomb... I would have!), and calmly proceeded to check for alternative detonation mechanisms before disassembling the explosives (one litre of pure nitroglicerine) and the primary detonator (a tension-activated fulminate). Decent attempt, but I've seen much better ones...
Oh yes, before I forget...
Some young lady was waiting outside my staircase this morning. I managed to
avoid her by hiding in the basement just as she got tired of waiting and
went upstairs. I would've liked to introduce her to my friends, messrs.
Smith and Wesson, but I couldn't risk being late to my supervision, could I.
Maybe next time, Gadget.
Police recruitment currently just about balances the casulties inflicted by DEfM. To counter today's expected losses, PC Cookie Monster and Agent Big Yellow Rubber Duck have joined the police force. Hopefully they can help to wash the taint of corruption out of the police force, preferably with lots of blood.
Delirium's wounds following a
fight with the Emma mafia
had been believed to be fatal, however when he was
rushed to Addenbroke's, the skills their staff had honed while treating
dozens of injured assassins every year enabled them to save his life.
He will leave hospital today at 16:00. Until then he cannot be killed, nor
can he kill, but then he'll get a new license to kill...
He will be given new targets and assassins. Watch out when you meet him,
he might be after you now!
Doctors believe his surprising recovery was possible due to the fact that he was coshed by a non-assassin, before the assassin tried to finish him off. In such unskilled hands the deadly weapons of an assassin become mere toys that hardly do any damage. Seeing as he therefore wasn't actually unconcious, he was able to put himself into a deep meditation that enabled him to survive the gunshot.
"Shadow" tried to blow up The Mole, but the intended victim was on his guard.
Today, a feeble assault upon my person was launched. A large, suspicious, Cambridge-postmarked letter with a dodgy lump in the middle was placed in my pidgeonhole. With razor-sharp instincts, I suspected a bomb. Unleashing my trusty gloves, using a pair of scissors I carefully opened the package. I was not disappointed. Anonymous assassin beware - the retribution of Red Squad will be swift and brutal.
Yours corporeally, The Mole.
The perpetrator of this plot reports:
It was I, Shadow, who decided to branch out and try to learn some of the explosive techniques required for more sophisticated attacks. I do not mind if these tests did not claim the lives of those names that they bore because I enjoy the hunt itself and the retort of my fire arm before their shocked faces. Just as long as the recipients: realised that I do not send empty threats, and preferably they become more wary to provide real practice for what is to come. After delays in building I posted them on Saturday before realising the delays of delivery and thus I was impatient to finish off my victims before they arrived.
"Supernova" cut out the heart of Krunal "Notorious" Jashapara
Following a tip-off from an informant known only as "The Gangsta" who I believe has underworld links, I discovered that one of my targets not only did the same course as me, but also was known to my informant. With this knowledge, the kill proved routine. Approaching him after lectures, he seemed surprised. This surprise grew as I then drew my trusty blade and gutted him like a fish, before fleeing in a blood-induced frenzy.
Beware, fellow assassins, for knowledge is power.
Renegade police officer Commander Sniper tried to retaliate against Jehova's Witness.
Jehova's Witness has just received a good healthy dose of Pain (TM). Having discovered his name and address through my underworld contacts, I proceeded to leave in his pigeon hole the very detonator he tried to use against me, and a note saying 'Watch Out!'.
Note: Police officers may not use indirect weapons such as bombs or contact poison, unless they get into the room of a wanted criminal. Hence even if this attack had succeeded it would have been invalid.
Since I was there anyway, I thought I'd pay him a quick visit. His room was right next to a kitchen, a toilet, and a network hub - ideal conditions for an assassin since it means the target is likely to come out of his room quite often. There was music playing inside, so I decided to wait hidden in the hallway just outside his kitchen, where I could see his door via a reflection on the network hub's casing. After a few minutes, he opened the door, looked to both sides, and walked into the kitchen... at which point I emerged and shot him in the left arm, just inches from his heart. Before he could react, I was gone. I can't go around killing innocent, threat-sending, door-bombing, bomb-poisoning assassins, now can I?
You can't: Police officers may not attack players unless the players are bearing weapons or have just fired at the police officer. Police officers will at least become wanted for such attacks and might even be suspended.
Bang on the stroke of 16:00, I happened to be leaving my room, when - in a very smoothly executed manauver - none other than the dastardly Sniper span out from his place of concealment, gun in hand - firing before I could react. I was hit in the arm and fell, Before I had hit the ground, he was halfway down the stairs and by the time I managed to stem the flow of blood, and drag myself to safety, he was already back in his lair. Anyone feeling public spirited, I warn you, the cost may be high. Nonetheless, Jehova's Witness will recover, and I shall survive...
"Shadow" assassinated the terminally incautious John "The Lone Deranger" Morton. According to the assassin:
I returned that evening to the Devil's cradle with my new accomplice. After asking Porters (New court is hardly modern even for Cambridge) we tracked down John Morton. It was obvious why his suite did not allow water due to both doors being wide open. At this point I considered how to tell which of the two residents was my target, but I needn't have worried due to my victim's valor in admitting his identity when armed only with a fish slice and alone in the room — he cannot be part of the mafia. He died from gunshot wounds at 6.30. We had more trouble escaping from the area but eventually navigated the obstacles.
Wanted criminal Simon "Dial Emma for Murder" Ford has poisoned yet another Officer of the Law: PC David "Jasper McKintley" Knipe. In the killer's words:
It seems that the police force have decided that leaving their rooms will stop me from killing them, and it worked tonight. I was very frustrated, and had to resort to the lowest form of attack, contact poison. It has been liberally applied to the door handles of PC "Teleute" and PC "Jasper McKintley".
The cautious PC "Teleute" was well aware of the threat of contact poisoning, and dealt with the deadly chemicals safely, but PC "Jasper McKintley" was not so careful:
Shortly before midnight last night, I heard noises outside my room door. I thought little of it at the time. A few minutes later I returned to my bedroom (I have a bedroom and a sitting room). As usual, I glanced around shiftily to see if anyone was around - and as usual I neglected to check my door handle for contact poison. Next thing I knew I was floating along a tunnel, and there was a bright light at the other end, and there were angels everywhere and they were welcoming me into the Kingdom of God. I replied that their realm was not a true utopia as it excluded the Masses, allowing in only a small number of select individuals who were chosen on the basis of religious belief and political ideology.
Dial Emma for murder for once failed to kill The Horrible rock monster
The mighty,(or not quite so mighty as he would have people believe) Simon Ford rather pathetically tried to kill me. i survived due only to his incompetance, and my own paranoia. He tried the handle on my door, without thinking to open the door and shoot me, despite the fact that it was unlocked. This the alerted me to his presence, we exchanged looks, and he ran away. What a shame.
At last! Simon "Dial Emma for Murder" Ford's reign of terror has been singlehandedly brought to an end by the valient work of PC Alex "Cookie Monster" Churchill. But first yet another police officer had to die:
Alas, all good things come to an end. The adrenaline
is gone and now I feel the fatigue of defeat. I have
left a final Bobbybag upon the kitchen floor of AA
staircase Pembroke. PC Teleute
Dial Emma for Murder
Sitting doing some productive work (oh, all right then - I was surfing the web) in PC Big Yellow Rubber Duck's room, I ignored a creak outside the door, but then noticed the door handle surrepitiously turning. Fortunately as a live police officer I had naturally kept the door locked, knowing there were wanted criminals around. I was soon to discover one of them was rather closer than I thought!
I stealthily rose and peered through the Robinson door's peephole (oh, I love my fortress of a college). A figure was examining the corridor - seemed to match rather well the description of Cambridge's Most Wanted, DEfM, handily sent me by the Chief of Police earlier with warnings that he might attempt to kill any policepeople. My suspicions were confirmed when, in his slinking around, he produced a big black gun.
Being a reckless type, I didn't just sit tight in the room; I called out "Hello?" He seemed surprised to hear a male voice come from the Rubber Duck's room, and I think this relaxation must have been his downfall.
When I said "Can I help you?" (still behind the locked door), he said "It's OK, you're not the person I'm looking for". I opened the door, glanced round the room for a handy weapon (as Trezzer observed, the place is covered in them), grabbed a knife, and said "No - " [stabbing] - " I'm a policeman. Who are you?" As he fell over, he said "Bugger. I'm the Wanted Criminal..."
In recognition of his sterling work, PC "Cookie Monster" has been promoted to the rank of Inspector.
Today VANGO used a dispicable way of opening his post.
someone obviously thougt they could kill the VANGO by a poisoned letter. ha! i know all the tricks. just as well it was a cold day and i was wearing thick gloves while opening the envelope. i could sense something fishy about the letter so i handed it to a friend to open. she is now, i am sad to say, deceased. and not even a player- so whoever tried to kill me should be in trouble with the police. you can't fool the VANGO!!
I always thought, the rules were very clear on this subject:
If you are responsible for the death of an innocent
victim (see rule on Permissible Targets) then you are put on the Wanted
List (a public file containing the names and addresses of known
criminals). Getting other people to open your mail/door for you will make
you responsible for them. (Section 9.0 Innocent Victims)
As VANGO himself explains, he suspected the letter could be poisoned, but still handed it to his friend in the hope his assassin would be wanted. For her gruesome, coldblooded and premeditated murder Simon "VANGO" Cosgrove is now on the wanted list.
Beakachu survived a poisoned letter
A greedy old knave,
To Beakachu gave,
A letter of evil intent
Wise Beakachu knew,
What the knave tried to do,
And why the letter was sent
What a feeble excuse,
By a dunce on the loose,
For an assassination attempt...
Ich will sterben... survived a poisoned letter, this one from Dream
Just droppin' a note to say how lame the attempt on my life was this
morning, a big letter with a badly printed tag, full of something other
than paper.
I nonetheless openend it with latex glove, and discovered some flour and
an offer to donate for some children charitable fund.
the handrwriting of the assassin was not really legible but he will
recognise his lack of skills in this report.
Jehova's Witness survived yet another poisoned letter
Returning from lunch, I came upon a note wedged in my door, suspecting foul play, I donned gas mask and gloves, removed it carefully, checked for any sort of mechanism, then opened it with the point of a knife. It turns out to be a flyer advertising some pub (with free drink tokens)... To whomever put it there I say: If you are an assassin, thanks for the free drink, but you forgot to apply any contact poison; If you aren't, then what's wrong with my pigeonhole?
However Jehova's Witness was not the only one to receive such a card...
bh234 found a bright yellow booklet offering discounted beer and food on the floor outside his room today. bh234 thanks whoever was kind enough to see past the exterior image of a cold heartless killer and understandd that inside there is a cold heartless killer who would rather spend less money than he currently does.
Commander Sniper got one as well:
Mr. Yippy-yay Witness: I politely write to inform you that you may have failed to realise virtually everyone in Jesus College received said flyer. Granted, it is certain to have set off all assassins' poison and bomb alarms, yours truly's included, but to go as far as reporting it is just...unprofessional. By the way, apparently I cannot come and kill you so why don't you pay me a (heavily armed) visit so we can settle the score once and for all?
Accepting that offer might not be very healthy for Jehova's Witness, because Commander Sniper is quite well armed.
Do you notice something? Yes, exactly poisoned letters don't work very well, because everybody is beyond paranoid about any bit of paper they see. Why don't you just shoot your targets?
Yawn, another letter, this one to The Shadow
Just a quick note to say how easily I survived an "attempt" on my life
this morning. A thin, official-looking envelope arrived at my house. I
gingerly withdrew the letter, carefully avoiding the narrow smear of what
looked like prit-stick, to read:
"Dear Sir/Madam,
Sorry, my "Friend", but you're going to have to do a lot better than that
if you want to knock me off. You know where I live, so come round in
person if you dare - I'll be ready!
Death is coming. This letter is
poisoned.
Signed, Your Friendly Neighbourhood Assassin."
The Shadow
Jehova's Witness went over to Manhatten's room once more.
Once more, I went into the depths of depravity, horror and, dare I say it? John's, trying to bring an end to Manhatten... Luckily for him, he wasn't in, unluckily for him, his door was unlocked... Due to nosy neighbors, I was only able to contact poison the inside handle on his door, before I left. I imagine he will be warned by the aforementioned neighbor (I wasn't exactly being subtle), and avoid death, but it's the thought that counts... (Just in case he failed to warn you, it's the guy directly opposite you you should complain to Manhatten)
And this from the still alive Manhatten:
Jehova's Witness once again tried to assassinate me today. Whilst taking a shower I was informed by my next door neighbour that there was some stranger there to see me. Once alerted to his presence I cautiously opened the shower door just as the muppet was walking past only he didn't see me and I fled half naked back to my room and locked the door. I hung my towel on the door handle and got dressed. When I removed the towel I noticed it was covered in a viscous white substance - contact poison! So by complete fluke I managed to escape. Whatever it was he used it damn well better wash off or I'm going to be pissed.
The Duck Molester was brutally mowed down by The beautiful dead man's heavy machine gun. Apparently unconcerned college officials commentend:"That was just one more of those killings amongst mafia hitmen, we don't want to get ourselves involved in that. We're just happy that they kill each other."
Moving into Cripps court, John's, I see my target's staircase dead ahead of
me. Wishing to be as speedy as possible, I march straight up and knock on
his door.
"Who is it?" He asks.
"It's Dan" Say I.
"What do you want?" Quoth he, acompanied by the sound of advancing feet.
The footsteps go directly to the door. Do not pass Go, do not collect
arsenel.
The door opens. I shoot with my pistol, but miss. His head is at head
hight and his body isn't there, what with being behind the door and all.
The door slams.
There is no such thing as a problem, only a solution. So thinking, I
retreat a little and wait. And lo, a friend of his turns up. This friend
then walks round the corner towards me. I can tell he's an assassin
because he ignores my large machine gun. Any innocent would have at least
given me a puzzled look. As soon as he is safely up the stairs he calls
back, "Simon, I wouldn't come round!"
"Why's that?" asks Simon.
I step round the corner to answer.
He snaps off a shot with a little pop gun, but is hopelessly out of range.
I answer.
If you want to read the answer, go look in cripps court. You can't miss
the writing on the wall. Its about 6' high and bright red. Heavy machine
guns at short range are so messy...
Yours
The beautiful dead man
Despite categorical denials by the ducks of John's, the brutality of the murder fuels speculations that the ducks hired the killer.
I'm dead :(
Someone knocked on my door and uponquerying answered 'Dan'.
When I opened it, however, there was a stranger there who shot at me with
a rubber band gun. I slammed the door on the round, and paused for
thought. I then made the terminal error of pursuing someone armed with an
RBG, CPS and god knows what else with a cosh and a cap gun. D'oh! Worse
still, my one man support team decided to turn up unarmed (twat).
The assassin had an impressive arsenal, that sounds like a pro. How could the ducks afford someone this expensive?
Renegade police officer Commander Sniper killed PC Lenny, who attempted to remove his corrupt colleague.
Someone knocked at my door... naturally I suspected an assassin. So I armed myself with my
trusty gun and observed the target through my spyhole, studying his reaction at the lack of
response. He knocked a few more times and then went to talk to one of my neighbour, thus
offering his back to me. Such a tasty plate is difficult to resist, and so I yanked the
door open and yelled "Don't move!", while training my gun right at his heart. He turned
around and faked surprise at finding himself staring down the barrel of a rather large
revolver, and then attempted to convince me that he was a member of the hispanic society.
Yeah right.
The first test, which he passed, was speaking in Spanish. But his Central American accent
gave him away, as I then guessed (correctly) that this was Mr. Valdez, a newly-spawned
minion of the perverse Claire the Betrayer. But I could not shoot until he clearly
attempted to kill me... so I pretended to fall for it - yet maintaining a steady aim.
Slowly and naturally, he approached. I suspected he was attempting a knife or cap attack,
and so kept my distance. When he said the society was conducting a survey, I told him to
send me an e-mail instead. So he asked for my address and pretended to search his pocket
for a pen and some paper. This is it, I thought, and took a quick leap backward, just as he
pulled out a small cap gun. We both fired simultaneously, but his weapon was out of range.
I fear the cleaner's going to kill me tomorrow... these new hollowpoint Magnum rounds are
somewhat messier than I thought.
Eventually most bedders get used to it, but then they might join the police and actually kill you...
Rest in peace, PC Lenny, and know that your death shall not have been in vain, for I shall
prove my innocence and bring down the usurper, she who calls herself Incorruptible, but is
in fact knee-deep in a thick plot of murder, betrayal, corruption and lies. She shall pay
for her sins, and my name will finally be cleared of such wrongful accusations. For now,
Claire, know that if you keep sending your henchmen, your thugs, your so-called Policemen
and women, all you will get is a pile of corpses dressed in blue. Those truly loyal to
Justice, those that have not yet been tainted by the Betrayer's malicious stench, those
that seek the Truth, had better not waste their time, effort and lives in more futile
attempts to kill me. I, for one, will take no pleasure in disposing of perfectly good
Officers, who would much better be employed to bring down the Hammer of Righteousness upon
the truly vile - those who murder and maim indiscriminately, those who recklessly expose
innocents to foul acts of violence, those who kill anything and everything that moves while
seeking for pure pleasure.
Mark my words, Officers. And mark my words well. For when Claire the Betrayer falls from
grace, there shall be no mercy for her. Amen.
The memorial service for PC Lenny, who died a brave death in the line of duty, will take place this sunday in Trinity chapel. Commander Sniper's unfounded allegations against Chief Incorruptible prompted her to issue the following statement:
I feel distressed by his false accusations and will sue his corpse after justice has been done.
VANGO killed The Moose Caboose,
vango has succeeded in eliminating The Moose Caboose, only hours being put on the wanted list for involving an innocent victim. my method turned out to be very cunning indeed. after going round to his room to deliver the standard bullet in the head, it emerged that he wasn't there. his roommate, appearing at the door wrapped in a duvet (after all it was 11:30pm) informed me that he was in the queens' fitzpatrick hall. after asking random people if they knew of this guy, it turned out he was working as a techie for the queens' film night. my ticket for getting to his secluded technician room was by telling a passer-by, who knew steve (therefore he was a popular guy...before he was brutally murdered), that i had an "urgent message for him". i was led to the room where i opened fire and killed my victim. yeah baby.
In an seemingly unrelated incident greenmonster tried to kill John Galt, but failed.
Greenomonster wandered over to trinity college to kill John Galt. However, he was not in his room when my accomplice seductively tried to lure him out. Just as we were exiting the building, we caught a glimpse of two guys talking in the kitchen, and we asked them if they knew Navin, at which one of them gestured towards the other, who claimed that my victim "MIGHT be in his room ....." quite obviously a COVER-UP for himself. however, we still had our suspicions ... thus, we returned, at which we found that they had locked themselves inside a room out of fear. my seductive accomplice then attempted once more to lure him out, but he was being a*** and refused, in his prickish voice, to open the door or accept any "messages" by hand. thus, we were forced to leave ... but greenomonster WILL be back.
Witnesses witnessed the end of Jehova's Witness by the hands of Manhatten, who had tracked his assassin down.
Jehovas Witness was gunned down today in front of horrified onlookers. He suffered a point
blank gunshot wound to the ribs. A persistent annoyance to the Johnian Mafia, there will no
doubt be great jubilation amongst my brethren once they learn of his death.
Manhatten.
Shocked witnesses said that the killer had followed the victim out of lectures and then shot him with a cap gun. However all they remembered about the attacker was that his face was mostly hidden by a John's scarf. Jehova's Witness was identified as Tom Garnett of Jesus College.
There I was, metres from the door of the lecture theatre, just thinking about lunch, when from behind me who should approach but Manhattan, he called "Tom", then when I turned, pulled a cap gun from his bag, and shot me at point blank range. He then walked off, leaving me to die, in front of a stunned crowd of witnesses. Oh and by the way Manhatten, yesterdays poison was toothpaste - it should wash off fine.
Mat "Muffy the Umpire Flayer" Laycock murdered Iceman's stunt double.
I'm 99.99% certain it was him, but he was a bit miffed and didn't say anything. Hehe.
What did Muffy mean by 99.99%?
Well he looked like my target, earlier on his friend called him by the correct name, and he was in my target's drawing practical, and knew what was going on when I stabbed him. He never actually said "I'm your target", but the chances of it not being him were negligible.
Unfortunately for Muffy, this was the unluckly one in ten thousand, and so Mat Laycock is now wanted for the murder of an innocent bystander.
Wanted criminal Mat "Muffy the Umpire Flayer" Laycock killed Commander-in-Chief "Incorruptible". The victim reports:
2.55pm : *knockknock*
Me (suspicious) : "who is it ?"
Matt : "come on Claire, don't be silly, it's meeee, Matt !"
*looks through spyhole*
*sees Matt putting both hands up*
*doesn't see any bulging pocket*
*no backpack either*
*takes gun*
*opens door*
Me : "Hi, what's going on ?"
Matt : "Just wanted to tell you Mario has shaved his beard and is now
wearing a brown jacket."
Me : "er... well, thanks"
We keep on talking a bit when :
2.57pm : the fire alarm goes off
Matt : "Hey, what's this ?"
Me : "The fire alarm, guess we've got to go."
*puts gun in pocket*
*takes key*
*turns to shut door*
*feels pain*
*drops*
Matt : " Sorry about this. I've just been made wanted i'm afraid. "
*dies*
Claire
Mat "Muffy the Umpire Flayer" Laycock killed PC "Big Don".
Well I have successfully managed to be a very poor policeman, Matt Laycock came into my room and shot me, my mate who was visiting me from back home and one of my neighbours! Ah well So ends the life of PC Big Don
Mat "Muffy the Umpire Flayer" Laycock killed PC "Potato Head".
He came to my door, asked if I would help him kill Mario, then stabbed me with a pencil.
Mat "Muffy the Umpire Flayer" Laycock tried to contact poison PC "Big Yellow Rubber Duck" and Inspector "Cookie Monster", but they both survived. A poor innocent didn't though.
Hiya, guys. Angela's roommate's boyfriend (a non-player) just died to some contact poison (toothpaste) on the shared set door. I went and cleaned it off.
Mat "Muffy the Umpire Flayer" Laycock killed PC "Editor", but only on the second attempt.
Someone just tried to kill me. I was taking my afternoon nap when someone buzzed me. I didn't bother to answer it. After a while someone came up and knocked on my door. I didn't answer that either. Partly because I didn't wan't to get up, partly because I suspected it would be an assassin. The person outside left after a while. Then I got up and carefully opened my door, and found that someone had contact poisoned my doorknob. I wiped it off, took on my dressing gown and sneaked out into the corridor with my SMG. When I asked some of my neighbours whether they had seen anyone strange lurking about the staircase they simultaneously replied "Yes, you".
Having survived this attempt, the police officer went on the offensive:
After having been visited by Matt Laycock I went to Jesus college, in case
that was where Matt would go next. I waited in PC Jehova's Witness's room
for a while and then left.
As I walked up the stairs to my room I figured I should be armed in case
Matt had come back, and started reaching for my gun. That was when I got
shot in the back
Mat "Muffy the Umpire Flayer" Laycock killed Superintendent Harry "Snapper" Organs of Q division in Caius JCR. Both umpires watched this attack and were highly amused seeing as they hadn't warned the police officer, who really deserved all he got. Harry "Snapper" Organs had no chance at all, because there wasn't any toilet nearby he could have hidden in.
The extremely wanted criminal Mat "Muffy the Umpire Flayer" Laycock's lastest victim is PC "Plodge". The cold-blooded master of disguise describes his deeds thusly:
Got Pickavance, said I was Alex Churchill and did he want to go kill Mario. He was confused and opened the door pointing a cap gun at me. I made sure it was more than 1m away at all times :) Talked for a few seconds, then his girlfriend said "Kill him". So I opened fire. I don't think she was talking to me though. I jumped back as I fired so it definitely didn't hit, he agreed. We exchanged a couple of shots before I hit his chest. He was a good sport.
His girlfriend then said "That Mario story is exactly the same as the one he used on all the other cops!"
I said "Oops, I'll have to think of a new one."
Will no one stop this nefarious fiend? And all the other criminals? The still wanted (why does nobody manage to kill him?) and corrupt Commander Sniper seems quite happy about these events:
Today, the bells toll for Claire the Betrayer. Ralph the Golgothan is dead,
and so is Johannes the Fearful. Much as I would have enjoyed to bring the
Grim Scythe upon them personally, it was but a criminal who unwittingly, in
an ironic twist of destiny, delivered terminal Justice to them. Officers
Plodge, Potato Head and Big Don, however, were good men and shall be deeply
missed. These three hideous murders shall not be condoned: as highest
ranking officer of the Police Department, it is my responsibility to uphold
the Law, even after having had my record severely blemished by the lunacy
and fabrications of the Betrayer. I shall clear my reputation - and that
means the Flayer's death.
Regarding Officer Yippy-yay Witness, he too is a good man and I have no
desire to kill him. I had no choice but to deal with Officer Lenny
yesterday, and I do not wish to repeat such a tragic scene. I hope he makes
the right decision, and dedicates his efforts to apprehending the true
enemy, the nefarious Flayer.
The umpires would also like to remind all police officers that they must remove any criminals in their own college within one week or they will be considered corrupt. After all killing people in your own college is normally quite easy.
Clarification: Police officers are not allowed to use indirect weapons, unless they get a wanted criminals room or they stay around (e.g. put bomb on door, knock and hide around corner). Police officers may not use gas under any circumstances, because it endangers innocents.
Dead police officers will be considered for resurrection (if they are interested) just before the incompetents get put on the wanted list at the end of next week.
In a ruthless act of terrorism Jamie 'Lloyd' Douglass gassed "Ich will sterben..."'s girlfriend. He is now wanted.
Oh deary me. I have made a blunder. On my way to kill "Ich will sterben...", I decided
to forego my usual favoured gun, and thought a spot of poison might work
wonders. Affixing my gasmask, I cautiously opened his carelessly unlocked
door, and delivered a (hopefully) deadly dose. In fact, had all gone
according to my exquisite plan, he would be cold on the floor as you
read. But no. I suspect not. I misjudged the size of the rooms allocated
by certain colleges, and had the pleasure of seeing him, slightly
perplexed, turn around to face me. A good, oh, forty feet away. He must
have had an AGE to grab a mask. In fact, by careful calculation, I reckon
that if he grabs one before March he should be in rudest health. I really
do apologise - especially to him, for what ranks as an almost insulting
attempt at murder. Rest assured, next time I shall, well, be slightly
more efficient. I hope. If you are dead, you are a very silly
boy. If not, pray accept my utmost embarrased apologies.
love and kisses
Lloyd
However the target was not alone in his room.
a nice guy came to my place went to the bathroom took a spray that was
there and sprayed in my room, just opening the door without even noticing
I was in, instantly I grabbed a gas mask and a weapon but he did not come
inside, Therefore I had time to close my door open the window and wait for
the gas to have disappeared before removing the mask, however my
girlfriend was there and I had no spare gas mask, she lays dead in my arms
and I want revenge, couldn't that assassin simply enteer my room and shoot
me, no he had to use that despicable weapon.
I want justice done, and quickly, for I am sure some corrupt policemen are
getting bored.
NB : for an assassin to simply use the spray that is in the adjacent
bathroom, how lazy is that.
And now further explanations for the criminal's deeds:
Dear Boy, If you will leave canisters of nerve gas around, then dont be
surprised if nasty ideas pop into the minds of the devious. The word is
not lazy but efficient.
Putting on the sole gas mask at the expense of your girlfriend's life?
Dear me, whatever happened to the age of chivalry? Sometimes I despair of
the youth of today, I really do.
PS If you want revenge, old boy, well, you know where I am... You wouldnt
be satisfied by some flatfoot getting me would you? Not much poetic
justice there.
Vango was executed by SvenskMoose, after attempting the Moose's assassination whilst inappropriately armed.
While eating brunch in pembroke hall i noticed my target, unaware of my presence, on another table. in a fit of adrenaline, realising i had no weaponry on my person, i dashed over to where the cutlery is kept and grabbed a knife. i sneaked over and, claiming this knife to be my official weapon, brutally murdered the svenskmoose. but then the VANGO himself was killed....i remembered i was on the wanted list, and, before i could scarper, i was shot in the head by a member of the pembroke mafia. of which i was never a part- but i could disclose information on who the members are...
Since every player has thoroughly examined the rules, there is no need for me to mention that it is explicitly stated that stainless steel cutlery is not an approved weapon. Vango's killer reports:
THIS IS THE NON-EXISTENT PEMBROKE MAFIA. VANGO IS NOT ANYTHING TO DO WITH US. FOR THE INSULT TO OUR FICTICIOUS ORDER HE HAS BEEN ELIMINATED.
Always aware, I settled down to my breakfast. Despite being from Pembroke canteen, the food was not poisoned. Vango, the innocent-slayer attempted to attack me with a canteen knife - too blunt to cut a chip let alone do any damage to a human, let alone an assassin.
I hastily constructed a knife and lunged at him across the table. Just in case that was insufficient, another member of the absent order shot him in the head at less-than-point-blank range.
Here ends the life of the tent, his evil deeds no more shall marr the name 'Pembroke mafia' even though it doesn't exist.
The police force has recruited another officer. PC Dilemma formerly a deranged criminal, now reformed and law-abiding, will help to bring down wanted criminals, most especially the corrupt policeman PC Bud White of his own college, the vicious cop-killer Muffy, and of course the evil Commander Sniper, who is probably even now scheming in order to have the police force eradicated.
The demonic Beakachu didn't manage to claim Uh's soul, but shot his accomplice instead.
This evening, The Brown Avenger and I went to assassinate Uh. Following years of painstaking research in
the field of excellence, not to mention several gruelling undercover
operations, I located his soiled nest. We waited outside the nest for
around ten
minutes, whereupon an arrogant-looking fellowe strolled past and went
downstairs. Little did we know that it was the unholy Uh
himself.
A few minutes later another arrogant looking fellowe came
upstairs and proceeded to unlock Uh's
door with a set of keys and walk
in. I promptly shot him twelvety (six) times in the back, thinking he was
Uh. The dunce then purported not to be
Uh, but an accomplice sent
to retrieve his gun. I believe there were adequate grounds for shooting
him, as he was opening the target's door with the target's keys, and was
intending to deliver an illegal weapon for the purpose of murder.
Following this shocking encounter, we tiptoed downstairs to where the evil Uh was squatting. Unaware of the fate of his sinful accomplice, the knave was cowering behind the door of the dead man's room. Upon seeing his grotesque, owl-like visage, I fired twelvety (four) slugs at his head. There was then some confusion as Uh attempted to shut the door before the bullets reached him.
The door protected him sufficently.
And this from the intended victim:
Last night at about 8 o'clock I was walking towards my room in search of
alcohol. Lightning flashed across the sky and the rain beat hard against
the
windows as I walked the dimly lit corridors of K-block, Harvey Court. I
was
approaching my door when I spotted two grim looking figures skulking in
the
shadows. Their pale faces looked devoid of all humanity. My pulse rate
instantly doubled. I abruptly changed direction and went up the staircase
opposite my room. Overcome by terror, I took several deep breaths in an
attempt to control the thunderous beating of my heart. I decided I wanted
another look at these fearsome characters. I came back down again and
hurried past them heading for the downward flight of steps adjacent to my
door. I caught the gaze of one of the dark vampish figures.
The eyes!!! Oh the eyes!!!
They glowed a
brilliant red through the long demonic black
hair which
cascaded over his shoulders. His unwavering gaze left two smoke trails in
the air behind it. Sharp pointed teeth protruded from beneath his
blood-stained lips. He had a hunger about his expression; he had spotted
his
intended victim and we both knew it. I averted my eyes and quickened my
pace; hoping to avoid a major hicky. I hurried down to my trusty side-kick
Tonto's room. He saw the look of terror on my face and realised that the
creatures of the night had come for me. "My stake is in my room" I gasped,
cursing myself for my folly.
"Trust me my friend" he exclaimed, a look of defiance spreading across his
face. "I shall bring you your weapon" he said, striking a noble pose. I
looked at him in admiration; here was a true hero. He leapt into action
running up the stairs with my room key in hand. I knew he would succeed
because, having seen the forementioned pose, I knew that no-one could
seriously threaten him. My assailants had seen me; they had seen the fear
in
my eyes. I had walked past them twice now. Surely they would not shoot
poor....
These are probably the longest reports about a failed attempt that the umpires have seen lately.
P.S. I tried to kill Manhatten on Friday night with my trusty flame-thrower. He wouldn't open his door so I attempted to burn it down but my gas canister ran out before the door gave way. I shall return.
And this is what the now dead innocent has to say:
My friend, who calls himself "Uh", I believe, came knocking at my door complaining of strange people outside his room. One had long hair: they were assassins. Worried, he hid in my room and got my to go up to his door with the key in my hand. Sure enough, I got shot with a cap gun by someone called James. Unhindered by their recently acquired criminality, the two loitered outside my room as I tried to do my laundry. Uh made it out through the window, and a drunken shout of "assassins!" from my neighbours scared his pursuers away. Uh returned later with backup but everything had returned to normal.
Beakachu came very close to apprehending the wanted criminal Lloyd
Following our attempts on the life of Uh, The Brown Avenger and I decided to take the life of the wanted criminal Jamie Douglass. Having knocked on his door several times we were astonished to find it unlocked and his soiled nest empty. Greedily we decided to sit around in his room and wait for the knave. With a cap gun and water pistol (belonging to the target himself) we waited for his arrival. About 5 minutes later we got bored and decided to phone him, The Brown Avenger having discovered his mobile number in his room. Sadly, the phone was on top of the fridge. We discovered this after we called it and it started ringing, from on top of the fridge. I then ordered The Brown Avenger to return to the Brown Cave and retrieve the Bowelbomb and a deadly canister of 'Brown For Men'.
While the slave was away, the target returned to his lair. Unaware of my presence (I was sitting in his armchair facing the door), the coward was still exceedingly cautious and armed. There followed a long range gunfight. He was armed with a cap gun and I had a cap gun and water pistol. Firing both wildly, the gunfight ended as the target fled. A truce was called to ascertain what had happened. Sadly I had only wounded him on the hand with my water pistol (a witness confirmed the target's claims). As for our cap guns, we were at too great a range to confirm any kills. I quietly slipped away, weary after a long day of not doing anything good.
Children, children. You'll have to do better than this...
returned to my room from a small gathering to find a person in my easy
chair. No manners at all. Before I could offer him a drink, or perhaps a
light snack, he started to blast the wall behind me with an enthusiasm I
can only describe as alarming. I appreciate the internal architecture of
Sidney as little as anyone with a modicum of taste, but honestly..
OBVIOUSLY I shot him, but sadly I was a little out of range for my dainty
snub-nose (I worry about the number of male assassins who favour large,
and frankly phallic, super-soakers. A slight inadequacy perhaps? Would
they
care to comment?) and I didnt care to approach such an anti-social
guest. After a little chat, we decided that no harm had been done, other
than converting the lavatory wall into a particularly arresting water
feature, so I gave him a drink and sent him into the night. Nice chap
actually, when one gets to know him - though I do suggest a quick course
to learn the proper way to introduce oneself, without the use of firearms...
love and kisses,
Lloyd
PS He claimed he was going to poison my wine. Please dont do that sort of
thing. Sainsbry's Chateau Neuf du Crap tastes so awful, I might not
notice...
With four criminals at large we are probably looking forward to an interesting sunday, traditionally the most deadly day of the week. Already the first report of crimes has come in, but police investigators have now come to believe that it was none of the already wanted players, who contact poisoned Dream's door handle.
Whoever put VISABLE contact posion on the TOP of my doorhandle is a real amateur - did they really think it would kill anybody??
Could whoever is responsible for this please own up to his attempt? Oh, before I forget about it: you can already tart killing cops, because you are wanted.
Supernova killed the highly dangerous Adrian John 'Shadow' Proctor.
Having been told about shifty-looking characters hanging around outside my room, I was expecting to get a visitor sooner rather than later. Soon enough, there is a knock at my door, and my adrenaline starts pumping. Hiding my gun behind my back in my left hand, I open the door to find someone trying to spread the Word. This is clearly highly suspicious, especially when his hand inches its way towards his jacket pocket, and this is all the incentive I need to draw. But he was quick too, and I was saved by his weapon misfiring, while mine shot straight and true. Unfortunately for him, a cunning plan fell apart due to dodgy weaponry, but Fortress Supernova remains unbreached.
And so ends the life of Shadow, who had claimed 4 kills in his short carreer. He has however joined the police now.
I since my last success (Tuesday) I have made at least 14 trips to the
living quarters of my three targets some of these at awkward times for my
victim as well as for myself and all involving cunning plans. Yet on NO
occaision was any of my intended victims to be seen and I grew
impatiant. At 6pm on Sunday I left with my most dasterdly plan yet (saving
greater traps for later weeks) and knowing that some of my targets had
shown themselves to be capable and that they had spy holes and and doors
such that any obvious assassin would be blasted before the door fully
opened by a competant foe. My plan (which I would have tried on
Saturday) was to pretend to deliver 'revelations' booklets to my victims
knowing that it started today and Sunday was the last opportunity to
pretend to be doing God's work. I might have tried something else but I
didn't think I could pull of a deception with something as ridiculuos as
Ginger Cake.
Having collected 5 of these booklets off neighbours who I promised I would
return them to I left in the heart of the storm, I couldn't wait not now
that my speach was planned. However, there was no show and the rain only
prooved to dampen my spirits and the booklets somewhat that in my rush I
failed to properly protect. Also my adversary Dr X had managed to leave
two innocents in his room and two others wandering freely about his
quarters who I had difficulty in not gunning down but in my mercy I let
them live hawever, I blew my wonderfull cover in the process of our
discussions I expected that he would now be ready for me if I returned and
unsure whether late at night the vital shortish cut would be available to
distant Fitz.
So I had also visited the mole int the rain when after lunch and a video I
left again to try the 'hand of God' one last time before it was too
late. I add at this point that many have told me that this isn't a
respectable method and I had got so far as deciding that my next
'succesfull' report would ber in the form of a Catholic Confession to
atone for these sins I do not of course have any official links to the
relevant aythorities/organisations who spread the gospel. My behaviour is
not supported by these. (disclaimer over). So this final time I visited
Supernova after another distant walk with the damp booklets in a plastic back
to prevent damage from the now dry air. I galnced at his window which
still seemed dark and dispondantly knocked expecting another no show. My
chance with Dr X and the mole was looking slim with this trick and this
target I had not heard anything about so half expected a poor show of the
standard of previuous encounters.
My heart leaped as finally I heard movement and holding the booklets in
both hands greated him to ask if by any chance he had yet received one. He
hadn't and seemed not to know much which was strange as there were posters
nearby. I explained what it was about and handed him one (actually two as
it turned out) then I noticed that he seemed to be retreating into his
room maybe suspicious and trying to escape, I could not let it happen. On
top of my blood lust was the fact my friends wanted their damp booklets
back. I didn't use the 'whats that behind you trick' and also in my nerves
and desperation my hand leapt to my pocket (not relaxing on to the gun
then leaping) These errors though important do not match the fact that I
hadn't noticed him hiding a black revolver in his left hand (not my
trigger hand) as I had used eye contact to avoid looking shifty, he held
the booklet in his right and the door was proped open, I'd assumed that
few assassins would expose themselves in this way if there was a
possibility of an assassin (I could have had an accomplice etc) but he
was on his guard and fired.
There was then confusuion due to my shock at finally having tried this
'full proof' plan. I explained mine had gone off and demonstarted that it
still worked and there was an empty cyclinder now but was myself unsure
and wondered whether it had become damp. At first I thought that his
retreating might have saved my skin (range) but later I relised that my
ability to walk through walls was due to death at that moment, being dead
and out positioned (his gun was next to him, mine was hidden) I relise
that if my weapon had fired its ghost like bullet would not have harmed
him and I expect he survived. My other target were lucky they did not show
up to face this trap.
Shadow leaves the stage to avoid confusion with the less active 'THE SHADOW'