Assassins' Guild Lent 2001: Summary of News


This list is grouped and sorted according to the chronology of publishing, and so is not necessarily in the order in which actual events occurred. This makes it much easier to see when new reports have been put up, or old ones added to. The date given in each entry details when each actually occurred.

January the 25th:

[Jan 25 20:03] "Maverick" killed Dan James "Burns" Jane
[Jan 25 21:53] "Lloyd" tried to kill "Ich will sterben..."
[Jan 25 23:13] "VANGO" tried to kill "SvenskMoose"
[Jan 25 22:30] "Maverick" tried to kill "Beakachu"

January the 26th:

[Jan 26 08:00] "Trezzer" killed Paul "Ribena" Hickford
[Jan 26 08:45] "Shadow" killed Tom Chacko
[Jan 26 11:59] bh234 found a bomb on his door
[Jan 26 12:30] Stewart "Pikachu" Becker and Alex "Highlander" Wood killed each other
[Jan 26 14:00] "VANGO" tried to kill "SvenskMoose"
[Jan 26 16:15] "Jehova's Witness" killed Sanjay Joshi
[Jan 26 17:00] "Shadow" killed Johannes "The Editor" Nordström
[Jan 26 17:30] "Maverick" tried to kill "Big Don"
[Jan 26 18:00] "Delirium" contact poisoned "Bunyip's" room
[Jan 26 22:30] "Jasper McKintley" delivered a death threat

January the 27th:

[Jan 27 01:00] "Slaine" tried to bomb "Deadly Fluffy Wuffy Bunnykins"
[Jan 27 09:00] "Pilchard" sent out blackmail
[Jan 27 10:29] Simon "Dial Emma for Murder" Ford wanted for attempt on "The Ferret's Revenge"
[Jan 27 13:39] "The Purple Lady" killed "The Brown Avenger"
[Jan 27 14:00] "Maverick" killed Duncan "Big Don" Shaw
[Jan 27 14:00] "The Ferret's Revenge" killed David "Mr Majyka" Pickavance
[Jan 27 14:20] "Jehova's Witness" tried to kill "Manhatten" and Simon "Dial Emma for Murder" Ford
[Jan 27 15:01] "The Dark Side" tried to kill "Valkyrie"
[Jan 27 16:30] "Trezzer" killed Ian "Fire-Eagle" Dunlop
[Jan 27 14:00] "Rhombo" was visited by the Red Squad
[Jan 27 15:00] "Dangerous Dave" killed "Dr Evil"
[Jan 27 19:00] Frances "The Purple Lady" Robinson wanted for murder of John "Sheepy Tim" Wyllie
[Jan 27 19:56] Simon "Dial Emma for Murder" Ford killed PC Elephantitis
[Jan 27 19:56] Simon "Dial Emma for Murder" Ford killed The Purple Lady
[Jan 27 19:56] Simon "Dial Emma for Murder" Ford killed PC Fire-Eagle
[Jan 27 21:15] "The Unusual Suspect" visited "Dangerous Jim" and killed "Delerium"
[Jan 27 22:00] "The Dark Side" killed Freija "Valkyrie" Glansdorp
[Jan 27 23:00] Simon "Dial Emma for Murder" Ford tried to kill "Jehova's Witness"
[Jan 27 23:10] "Lloyd" tried to kill "Echo"

January the 28th:

[Jan 28 09:00] Police SWAT team tried to kill Simon "Dial Emma for Murder" Ford
[Jan 28 12:00] Simon "Dial Emma for Murder" murdered PC Valkyrie
[Jan 28 13:00] "Teleute" killed Michael "Bunyip" Cox
[Jan 28 13:10] "Dangerous Dave" killed "J"
[Jan 28 20:00] "Dangerous Dave" killed his assassins' accomplice
[Jan 28 16:00] "Pilchard" killed Nicholas "Mr Potatoe Head" Owen
[Jan 28 16:30] "The Ferret's Revenge" killed Henry "The Dark Side" Lockwood
[Jan 28 18:00] "Trezzer" killed Angela "Agent Big Yellow Rubber Duck" Rayner and Alex "Cookie Monster" Churchill
[Jan 28 19:51] Simon "Dial Emma for Murder" Ford failed to kill "The Horrible Rock Monster"
[Jan 28 20:25] David "Jasper McKintley" Knipe was killed by "Dr X"
[Jan 28 21:00] "Shadow" killed Ben "Mighty Upsetter" Jarman
[Jan 28 22:00] Simon "Dial Emma for Murder" Ford killed PC Paul "Ribena" Hickford and PC "Dark Side"
[Jan 28 23:00] Someone tried to kill Harland Quinn
[Jan 28 23:45] "Jehova's Witness" tried to kill Manhatten

January the 29th:

[Jan 29 05:30] "The Unusual Suspect" blew up Isobel "Teleute" Barry
[Jan 29 05:31] "The Duck Molester" survived Isobel "Teleute" Barry's poisoned letter
[Jan 29 05:40] "The Unusual Suspect" blew up Michael "Bunyip" Cox's corpse
[Jan 29 16:50] Simon "Dial Emma for Murder" Ford murdered an innocent.
[Jan 29 16:51] Simon "Dial Emma for Murder" Ford killed PC Sheepy Tim and PC Burns.
[Jan 29 16:52] Simon "Dial Emma for Murder" Ford tried to kill PC Plodge
[Jan 29 17:14] "Malibu Man" survived a poisoned letter
[Jan 29 20:00] "Jehova's Witness" tried to kill Commander Sniper

January the 30th:

[Jan 30 00:00] "Delirium" arose from the dead
[Jan 30 09:00] "Shadow" tried to blow up The Mole
[Jan 30 13:00] "Supernova" killed Krunal "Notorious" Jashapara
[Jan 30 16:00] Commander Sniper tried to murder Jehova's Witness
[Jan 30 18:30] "Shadow" killed John "The Lone Deranger" Morton
[Jan 30 23:45] Simon "Dial Emma for Murder" Ford murdered PC David "Jasper McKintley" Knipe

January the 31st:

[Jan 31 16:00] Simon "Dial Emma for Murder" Ford tried to kill "The Horrible rock monster"
[Jan 31 16:30] Simon "Dial Emma for Murder" Ford murdered PC Teleute
[Jan 31 17:10] PC Alex "Cookie Monster" Churchill executed Simon "Dial Emma for Murder" Ford

February the 1st:

[Feb 01 13:00] Simon "VANGO" Cosgrove wanted for the death of an innocent
[Feb 01 14:00] "Beakachu" survived a poisoned letter
[Feb 01 14:30] "Dream's" poisoned letter didn't kill "Ich will sterben..."
[Feb 01 14:35] "Jehova's Witness", "bh234" and Commander Sniper received poisoned mail
[Feb 01 14:50] "The Shadow" survived another poisoned letter
[Feb 01 14:55] "Jehova's Witness" tried to kill "Manhatten"
[Feb 01 15:00] "The beautiful dead man" killed "The Duck Molester"
[Feb 01 22:00] Commander Sniper murdered PC Lenny
[Feb 01 23:00] "VANGO" killed "The Moose Caboose"
[Feb 01 23:55] "Greenomonster" attempted to kill "John Galt"

February the 2nd:

[Feb 02 12:00] "Manhatten" killed "Jehova's Witness"
[Feb 02 12:05] Mat "Muffy the Umpire Flayer" Laycock murdered an innocent
[Feb 02 14:55] Mat "Muffy the Umpire Flayer" Laycock killed Commander-in-Chief "Incorruptible"
[Feb 02 16:00] Mat "Muffy the Umpire Flayer" Laycock killed PC "Big Don" and PC "Potato Head"
[Feb 02 16:30] Mat "Muffy the Umpire Flayer" Laycock tried to kill PC "Big Yellow Rubber Duck" and Inspector "Cookie Monster"
[Feb 02 17:00] Mat "Muffy the Umpire Flayer" Laycock killed PC "Editor"
[Feb 02 18:00] Mat "Muffy the Umpire Flayer" Laycock killed Superintendent Harry "Snapper" Organs of Q division
[Feb 02 19:40] Mat "Muffy the Umpire Flayer" Laycock killed PC "Plodge"
[Feb 02 21:02] Jamie "Lloyd" Douglass wanted for murdering an innocent

February the 3rd:

[Feb 03 12:40] "SvenskMoose" executed Simon "Vango" Cosgrove
[Feb 03 23:00] "Beakachu" tried to kill "Uh"
[Feb 03 23:56] "Beakachu" almost killed "Lloyd"

February the 4th:

[Feb 04 10:00] Dream survived contact poison
[Feb 04 21:00] Supernova killed Adrian John "Shadow" Proctor

February the 5th:

[Feb 05 10:00] "Muffy the Umpire Flayer" killed PC Simon "Dilemma" Ford
[Feb 05 11:26] Simon "Dial Emma for Murder" Ford poisoned "Malibu Man"
[Feb 05 11:58] "Beakachu's" killed Christopher "Uh" Reynish
[Feb 05 18:04] "The Shadow" received a poisoned letter
[Feb 05 22:00] Jamie "Lloyd" Douglass killed Inspector Cookie Monster and PC Big Yellow Rubber Duck
[Feb 05 23:02] Message from bh234

February the 6th:

[Feb 06 07:59] Muffy the Umpire Flayer blew up PC Jehova's Witness but not Commander Sniper
[Feb 06 08:10] Muffy the Umpire Flayer tried to destroy PC Bud White
[Feb 06 13:23] Muffy the Umpire Flayer tried to poison Commander Sniper
[Feb 06 16:00] Maverick shot "Dangerous Dave"
[Feb 06 22:15] Mrs Faithful survived a bomb on her door.

February the 7th:

[Feb 06 22:50] Someone tried to kill Mrs Faithful

February the 8th:

[Feb 07 22:00] Jamie "Lloyd" Douglass blew up Sergei "Sham the Puffy Cat Virus" Lewis instead of Commander Sniper
[Feb 07 22:30] "Lina Inverse" blew up Commander Mario "Sniper" Sainz-Martinez

February the 9th:

[Feb 06 22:15] "The Horrible Rock Monster" tried to kill Mrs Faithful
[Feb 08 07:00] "Delerium" tried to blow up "Slaine"
[Feb 08 08:00] "Delerium" assassinated Nidhi "Greenomonster" Mohnot
[Feb 08 10:00] "The Shadow" tried to poison "The Mole"
[Feb 08 15:48] "Captain Caveman" tried to poison "SvenskMoose" and "Greenomonster's" corpse
[Feb 08 17:00] Dangerous Jim killed Alan "Deadly Fluffy Wuffy Bunnykins" Harper
[Feb 08 17:10] "The Mole" attempted to kill "Slaine"
[Feb 08 17:17] "Mrs. Faithful" killed Tim "Mr. Cool" Redding
[Feb 08 18:00] "Archangel" killed Chris "Prof." Moriaty
[Feb 08 19:00] Mat "Muffy the Umpire Flayer" Laycock murdered PC "Razor".
[Feb 08 23:50] Mat "Muffy the Umpire Flayer" Laycock murdered PC "Bud White"; he and "Lloyd" are no longer wanted.
[Feb 09 12:00] Traffic Policeman "Editor" executed Robert "Nobody" Ennals
[Feb 09 13:00] Traffic Policeman "Dilemma" executed Louise Mary "Bubbles" Davies
[Feb 09 13:30] Traffic Policeman "Ribena" executed Joseph "Sergeant Pumpernickel" Zuntz
[Feb 09 14:15] Acting-Chief "Incorruptible" executed Charmaine "Chark"Coutinho
[Feb 09 15:30] Speed Camera Repairman "Editor" killed Julian "Crispman" Hunt

February the 10th:

[Feb 09 17:00] "Archangel" assassinated Chris "I-will-eat-you" Morton
[Feb 09 17:50] Speed Camera Repairman "Dilemma" killed Jon "Gringo" Reynaga
[Feb 09 19:00] Ticket Inspector "Dilemma" and Traffic Policeman "Bud White" killed Lucy "Lucifer" McWilliam
[Feb 10 10:00] Traffic Warden "Dilemma" executed Eleni "Mata Hari" Gouliou
[Feb 10 11:00] Traffic Planner "Dilemma" killed Jack "Horny Protoceratops" Rudd
[Feb 10 11:45] "Delirium" assassinated Roy "Slaine" Poulton
[Feb 10 17:00] "Echo" tried to kill "Lina Inverse"

February the 11th:

[Feb 08 23:30] "Captain Caveman" murdered Jenna "Merykare" Spellane and Colin "Despair" Magee
[Feb 09 18:30] "Iceman" mutilated the corpse of Jenna "merrykare" Spellane
[Feb 10 ??:??] Someone killed Rachel Sara "The Welsh Witch" Borysiewicz

February the 12th:

[Feb 10 01:20] "Viper" blew up Navin "John Galt" Dasigi
[Feb 10 08:40] PC Brown Avenger murdered the corpse of Navin "John Galt" Dasigi
[Feb 12 13:00] Chris "Viper" Maher and Mat "Muffy the Umpire Flayer" Laycock killed each other
[Feb 12 21:00] Onion Budgie recovered from poison
[Feb 12 22:00] bh234 narrowly escaped death

February the 14th:

[Feb 11 20:00] Stu "Harland Quinn" Gill tried to blow up the Shiela and her Dogge Society
[Feb 12 13:00] The Ferret's Revenge commented on the death of Chris "Viper" Maher
[Feb 13 18:30] Traffic Planner "Dilemma" executed Stu "Harland Quinn" Gill (M.A.)
[Feb 13 20:00] "Dream" killed Etienne "Ich will sterben, Je veux mourir, Quiero morir" Chatenay

February the 15th:

[Feb 13 12:00] "Baldrick" assassinated Paddy "Manhatten" Goodlet
[Feb 15 09:30] "The Shadow" killed Peter "Dr X" Hinstridge
[Feb 15 20:20] Lord High Traffic Warden "Dilemma" executed Stephen "Pamela" Cooper

February the 18th:

[Feb 17 13:20] Päivi "Snowman" Pasi is wanted for murdering an innocent
[Feb 17 21:50] Lady Paramount of Police "Incorruptible" killed Päivi "Snowman" Pasi
[Feb 18 10:00] Someone tried to kill "Rhombo"
[Feb 18 11:00] "Archangel" assassinated PC Jehova's Witness
[Feb 18 11:30] Assistant Donut Boy and Deputy Tea-Lady and Chief of Police "Dilemma" killed "Cyrus"
[Feb 18 13:54] PC Ribena killed "The Svenskmoose" again

February the 19th:

[Feb 18 11:40] "The Svenskmoose" died during an attack on John's
[Feb 18 13:54] Traffic Policeman "Bud White" executed Ross "The Onion Budgie" Brockman
[Feb 18 17:30] The Police Force raided John's; PC "Ribena" killed Sally "Trezzer" Clough
[Feb 18 18:30] The "Archangel" Muhammad Esa committed suicide
[Feb 19 11:45] PC Actaeon the (almost) Invincible tried to kill Jamie "Lloyd" Douglass

February the 20th:

[Feb 20 14:00] Jamie "Lloyd" Douglass assassinated PC Actaeon the (almost) Invincible

February the 21st:

[Feb 16 16:00] "The Unusual Suspect" tried to kill "The Shadow"
[Feb 21 17:53] "Delerium" assassinated "Dangerous Jim" Milner

February the 22nd:

[Feb 15 12:00] "Trezzer" received a letter from "Mrs. Faithful"
[Feb 15 13:37] "The Unusual Suspect" received a letter from "Dream"
[Feb 16 01:43] Someone tried to poison "Dream"
[Feb 21 14:00] Jamie "Lloyd" Douglass tried to kill "Echo"
[Feb 21 16:10] "The Ferret's Revenge" tried to kill Phil "The Mole" Bennett and Sam "Captain Caveman" Birch
[Feb 22 11:00] "Rhombo" assassinated the undead form of "Dangerous Jim" Milner
[Feb 22 12:24] "Mrs. Faithful" assassinated Gemma "Dream" Mitchell
[Feb 22 20:49] "Pilchard" tried to kill "The Ferret"

February the 23rd:

[Feb 22 15:00] "Macavity" killed Phil "The Mole" Bennett and Sam "Captain Caveman" Birch
[Feb 22 16:00] "Lina Inverse" did in Helen "The Horrible Rock Monster" Debenham
[Feb 22 18:00] "The Unusual Suspect" killed a friend of "Rhombo"
[Feb 22 23:45] "Echo" tried to kill "Supernova"
[Feb 23 00:00] Something executed Dan "Edmund Flesh" Lambert
[Feb 23 12:00] Superintendent and Deputy-Chief Tea-Lady of Donut Division "Dilemma" killed John "The Ferret's Revenge" Miller

February the 25th:

[Feb 25 17:31] Speed Camera Repairman "Editor" executed Dan "The Beautiful Dead Man" Seymour

February the 26th:

[Feb 26 18:30] Edward "Baldric" Wallace, Dan "The Unusual Suspect" Credgington and Robert "The Inverse Square Law of a Rational Function" Hiersemenzel killed each other

February the 27th:

[Feb 27 17:40] Sergeant Danger executed Jamie "Supernova" Richards
[Feb 27 17:50] "Macavity" murdered the corpse of Jamie "Supernova" Richards

February the 28th:

[Feb 28 10:00] PC "Normality" assassinated Eloise "Echo" Phipps
[Feb 28 13:00] Superintendent and Deputy-Chief Tea-Lady "Dilemma" of Donut Division killed Roop "Rhombo" Gupta


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