Game News

Day 7

The time of death is now two hours, instead of four hours, as of midnight Tuesday/Wednesday. Have fun. - Umpire.

The Dean (Bjoern Holzhauer) killed Harland Quinn (Stu Gill) at 00:22:32 on Wednesday
The Dean reports:
I had just returned to my sanctuarium in Harvey Court and was visiting the righteous Ed Nokes, when a knock came from the door:"Hi, it's Stu."
Hence I grabbed my gun, whilst Ed kept him talking such that I could take him by surprise and shoot him from behind.
But alas, it was not quite such an surprise, as soon as I appeared a rubber-band flew past me, but my fire hit Stu in the chest.
We will all mourn his dead, for this man, was one of the last real men. He was the last of a dying breed. A fleeting remnant of a time when Christian widebodies struck a tone of Godly fear into heart of every devil loving town across this great nation. He rode a bicycle, carried a gun in one hand and a Bible in the other.

The Dean (Bjoern Holzhauer) killed Slakko (Duncan Richer) at 09:30:47 on Wednesday
The Dean reports:
His door was locked,
so I knocked,
he defended well,
wouldn't go to hell.

So I took the vbs-spray,
with which I then,
brutally slay,
poor Duncan again.

The Dean (Bjoern Holzhauer) did a stunning legal kill of an innocent at 10:19:05 on Wednesday
The Dean reports:
The Mancunian marauders were known to hide in Stu's staircase, so I entered with gun and gas.
When I burst up the stairs, they were already scrambling for their guns.
Sadly the one that had his sleeping bag next to the staircase more or less threw himself in front of MI3, when he grabbed his gun, so that I probably only hit him (unless a sleeping bag counts as a shield that is, Muhahhahahhahahha).
Then I legged it at once spraying a bit of gas, as MI3 had a 1500 and I didn't.
Please correct me, if I've got any bits wrong, this happened very fast.
M13 (Julian Yon) reports:
A brave attempt was made to storm M13's operations base this morning. A lone gunman burst in and fired a number of shots into the room. We are pleased to report that there were no casualties, although M13 is now even more on guard than previously.

-- "Mithrandir", spokesman for M13

The Dean (Bjoern Holzhauer) tried to kill DoubleCrossingTreacherousSwine (Tim Pike) at 10:36:39 on Wednesday
The Dean reports:
Tim had his window open and didn't see me coming, when I sneaked up to the small half-open window, which was a bit high and small so that aiming was quite difficult, especially as I had to miss his computer.
The first shot missed and before I could correct my aim he dived out of his room.
I didn't wait for Time & Kathy to come out as I wasn't heavily armed.
DoubleCrossingTreacherousSwine reports:
Well I had managed to get up (just) and had made it no further than an ICQ conversation with Australia. Well the bathroom was occupied so who was I to hurry.

Anyhow I heard a noise behind me turned round and I saw a shape pointing through my window. This immediately preceded the damp patch on my wall a couple of feet from my head. No caffeine yet that morning, so I finally figured out that this "alternative" shower option wasn't particularly conducive to good health. Promptly stumbled out of my room to find a safe spot.

Told Kathy (presently occupying the bathroom, though by the time you read this she will no doubt have left it) that there was someone waiting for us outside. I spattered the garden with a bit of CPS shot to see if he loitered, though our assailent had vanished by then. I couldn't really be bothered to traipse the neighbourhood in my dressing gown, having seen firtshand what they do to suspicious people with waterpistols round here and I don't know whether the police would have believed the story again.

Anyhow, thanks for the care avoiding my poota, much appreciated, and if people wouldn't mind taking care to avoid the mouse as well. She is small and cute and furry, and if you bring a piece of cheese when you come to attack we'll let you say hello to her.

Ps to anyone official reading this it is of course a computer mouse I am talking about, not the one who tried to keep me awake last night by running round her exercise wheel.

Two messages for the final 12 hours of the game:
one is that last night's Hand-To-Hand session at Harvey Court went down so well that I've been asked to do it again. So, same rules as last time: 6pm-midnight (ie the last 6 hours of the game), anywhere inside Harvey Court, is hand-to-hand weapons only. Note that unfortunately poison gas doesn't count as a hand-to-hand weapon, to those who asked.

The other is the dead times. We're into 2 hours already, and will hit 1 hour at 2pm. Then the times go 7pm = 30 minutes, 10pm = 15 minutes, 11pm = 7 minutes.

And to those who've been asking, the resurrect time is determined at death. Ie if someone dies at 1:59pm today, they'll resurrect two hours later, but someone dying at 2:01 will resurrect just one hour later. For kills near the borderline times, please ensure you're using vaguely synchronised watches! - Umpire.

The time of death is now one hour only, as of Wednesday, 14:00. Let chaos reign! - Umpire.

Semirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrhage (Claire Bordenave) did a stunning legal kill of an innocent at 14:00:35 on Wednesday
Semirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrhage reports:
Went to Selwyn to see the Wind in the Willows
Waiting with Stu was too much to bear,
The thread of fire flickers and billows
Setting alight the armed Bandit's hair...

The Dean (Bjoern Holzhauer) killed The Operator (Darshan Sudarshi) at 15:32:36 on Wednesday
The Dean reports:
After stalking him for nearly a day, I finally tracked down The Operator and waited for him outside his staircase.
When he came out I let him go past and then shouted:"Hey, Darshan, how is it going ?", he turned around, but his smiled faded away due to the gun in my hand and the 2 shots that followed.

Semirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrhage (Claire Bordenave) tried to kill Harland Quinn (Stu Gill) at 16:00:35 on Wednesday
Semirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrhage reports:
With the Beast dead, we went for the Master
The waterbomb safely bounced off his chest
Compared to his Bear he was a lot faster
And throwing a Penguin we escaped at best...

Semirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrhage (Claire Bordenave) tried to kill Restless dead (Daniel Seymour) at 16:05:35 on Wednesday
Semirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrhage reports:
Now Toad had captured our Penguin and our XP
and the 1500 from the play we'd just been to see
I escaped down the avenue, when a tree sprouted arms,
I shot at this guy, then stopped and used my charms.

"Hey Dan, there's another 1500 behind
go waste Stu, it would be so kind..."
Then I sprinted safely away
to go and fetch my 1-K...

Lews Therin (Ed Nokes) killed Harland Quinn (Stu Gill) at 16:13:15 on Wednesday
Lews Therin reports:
Woke up this morning to see Bjoern and Stu in the courtyard, each carrying big supersoakers. Went down to shoot Stu and say hello. It turned out they were working together to get Daniel and Claire, who had followed Stu after his play. Whoops. Unfortunately, D&C were no longer there when we scouted around.
The Dean (Bjoern Holzhauer) reports:
Returning to Harvey Court I found Stu, who had been chased by Dan and Claire, and he asked for my help, so we wandered around looking for them, when suddenly Ed shot Stu.

The Dean (Bjoern Holzhauer) did a stunning legal kill of an innocent at 16:13:31 on Wednesday
The Dean reports:
After Stu was dead, there was nobody left to protect poor Bandit.
He was brutally murdered for the sole reason that he had a small water-pistol on him.

Christopher Robin (Matthew Wakeling) did a stunning legal kill of an innocent at 16:45:00 on Wednesday
Christopher Robin reports:
*Chatting to the Umpire, when a non-player starts waving a lightsabre around*

Oooh, Alex. Can I? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?
Go on then... - Umpire.
Christopher Robin reports:

Restless dead (Daniel Seymour) killed Peaceful Purple Pineapple (Angela Rayner) at 17:53:38 on Wednesday
Restless dead reports:
Wondering who to kill today, I decide to have a(nother) go at a house on Adam's road. Walking past the front of Tit hall I spot our beloved umpire due to his patented people detector (that's what he called it last time we met. I called it a big green light sabre) And at his side was Angela. I assume that she spotted me, if she didn't see the satanic flamethrower she should consult her optician, but made no move to either flee or to draw a weapon. so I pulled a small pistol and shot her, so as to save the precous fuel of the flamethrower. I could have attacked the umpire for bearing arms, but I wasn't sure if he was killable, and if I asked he would surely drop it.

Perrin Ayarba (Bjoern Holzhauer) tried to kill The Dragon Rebjoern (Claire Bordenave) at 18:45:03 on Wednesday
The Dragon Rebjoern reports:
A knife-sharp slash of light appeared outside Fourteenglissonroad.
More than knife-sharp. The Dragon Reborn rode through on a horse woven of Fire, Curtainraillandor in hand, spraying Balefire everywhere. This sprung the Saidin-sensitive trap (aka J Doe's paranoia), deflecting the Balefire into a convenient Whitecloak Fortress.

The Dragon Rebjoern (Claire Bordenave) tried to kill Perrin Ayarba (Bjoern Holzhauer) at 18:45:08 on Wednesday
The Dragon Rebjoern reports:
I Travelled after the False Dragon Bjoern Holzhauer, wielding Balefire and then used the Bowl of the Winds to kick up a Storm made with flows of Water powered by compressed Air.
A non-player reports:
*******************STOPPRESS PARANOIA REPORTS************************

Yes, we were ready for this sort of thing. The 20 jammed so I threw her a 24-shot Pirate Dragon Rubberbandgun and a Mark 2 Storm. We then pursued him down two roads and lost him. Therefore we adopted a defensive stance as pre-planned, in Homerton, making it back via the woods, Owlstone Court Queen's, Wolfson and then in through the back of Newnham into an airtight, fortifiable bathroom in Peile, checking behind every single bush, wall, tree, sink and other Bjoern-sized hiding places, followed by checking inside every (Ed-sized) cranny, Wheelie-bin etc. Wearing wigs. Whenever in doubt we covered the suspicious spot with the Stomp-rocket platform. We even stopped for a Pizza, telephone-ordered in the name of Grantham.

The night before, and under no provocation, on returning from Gladiator, we entered a random College house to swap clothes. Then the "guy in the suit and 'at" calmly walked to the door, whilst the be-sandeled, be-frocked "assassin" slinked round the back of the parked cars with a concealed "weapon" actually manufactured out of socks.

Not to mention the walkie-talkie routines aka mission impossible: going to the bathroom :)


Perrin Ayarba (Bjoern Holzhauer) tried to kill The Dragon Rebjoern (Claire Bordenave) at 18:57:32 on Wednesday
Perrin Ayarba reports:
Returning on my bicycle from B&Q with two 3m plastic tubes for the construction of lances, I suddenly spotted Claire and the so very innocent J Doe.
I drew my gun, but my aiming was kind of obstructed by the plastic tubes and I tried to shoot her while cycling past.
She took cover behind a car and then started running after me, when I had passed, but I was too fast.

The time of death is now just thirty minutes, as of Wednesday, 19:00. Can anyone keep up with this? - Umpire.

...And the time of death plunges on down, to fifteen minutes as of Wednesday, 22:00... Just two hours left! - Umpire.

Macavity (Mike Jeggo) did a stunning legal kill of an innocent at 22:00:59 on Wednesday
Macavity reports:
I heard the words "You were a worthy adversary, Mike!" behind me.
I turned round, saw a water pistol and fired. It turned out to be a non-player, although "innocent" might be too drastic a description of Nagi...

M13 (Julian Yon) killed Perrin Ayarba (Bjoern Holzhauer) at 22:30:07 on Wednesday
Perrin Ayarba reports:
Apparently got shot first in close-quarters combat with CPS.
M13 reports:
The terrorist group M13 have claimed responsibility for a fatal shooting in Braeside. Police have recovered two bodies, one of whom is believed to be an M13 commander, apparently gunned down from behind even as he executed his victim. The huge amounts of bullet holes in the walls suggest an intense shoot-out, suggesting that in fact M13 were merely defending their patch against an attack by a rival group. While police claim to know who the victim was, the identity of the M13 operative's killer remains unknown.

MI3 (Ed Nokes) killed M13 (Julian Yon) at 22:30:07 on Wednesday
MI3 reports:
Went to storm Braeside. Stationed myself in the toilets besides the M13 staircase. Bjoern opened the door, engaged the opposition, and drew him out. In a tense shoot-out, it was determined that Julian blatently hit Bjoern first. Being in a position to shoot Bjoern did of course mean that Julian's back faced me, and hence I made good use of the situation. My fire rearranged his internals upon the opposite wall, in a pattern reminiscent of Van Gogh's Sunflowers. Hahahahaha!
I really appreciate Fine Art.

M13 (Julian Yon) killed MI3 (Ed Nokes) at 22:30:07 on Wednesday
MI3 reports:
As he was returning to the unsafe realms of Rm16, Braeside (must check that staircase, feels "unsafe"), MI3 suddenly noticed a CPS-1000 pointed at his heart.
With a hand attached to it.
Oh. Dear.

(yes, I am being deliberatly confusing...)
M13 reports:
M13 regret to announce the death of one of their most respected
commanders. "Saruman" was killed at around half past ten this evening by
members of the HCRA. However, as a warning to others, we wish to infrom
the public that nobody left the scene alive, as our commander successfully
dispatched both of his assailants with his final act. We have kept one of
the corpses for research purposes.

-- "Mithrandir", spokesman for M13

MI3 (Ed Nokes) did a stunning legal kill of an innocent at 22:51:07 on Wednesday
MI3 reports:
I asked Edmund Pringle if he would "hold this for a moment?"

He declined, instead examining the object in question. Satisfied with its apparent lack of deadliness, he picked it up.

I had no choice but to shoot him for the bearing of a deadly razor-blade, in this particular case, one disguised as a credit-card.

MI3 (Ed Nokes) did a stunning legal kill of an innocent at 22:52:07 on Wednesday
MI3 reports:
Bandit looked particularly obtrusive, seated upon the stairs with a pistol in his paw. I demanded that he cease and desist looking upon me in such a manner, with the timeless phrase "You lookin' at me?"

He refused even to reply. I executed him with a single shot to the back of the neck for his lack of manners.

MI3 (Ed Nokes) killed Harland Quinn (Stu Gill) at 22:54:07 on Wednesday
MI3 reports:
Ohhh! Who's coming up the stairs? Yes, folks, it's Stu Gill.

I lobbed a couple of grenades, along with a covering of CPS fire. His legs and arms were thoroughly redistributed over the carpet. Annoyingly, he bled to death before I could administer a proper shot to the head. That was just /so/ inconsiderate of the man. *Sniff* *Folds arms beneath chest*

Then his corpse dressed itself in St. John's Ambulance Uniform, and we all had a good laugh when Bjoern's gassings and shootings of Mr. Quinn were thus invalidated.

Perrin Ayarba (Bjoern Holzhauer) reports:
I was in Ed Pringle's room, when Stu came up the stairs. There was a short shoot-out between Ed and Stu, but Stu disputed death, so I proceeded to gas his room out thoroughly and then shot him in the head when he came out - in his St.Johns uniform, so it wouldn't have been valid, even if Ed hadn't got him first.

Jebadiah Key (Steven Cooper) committed suicide at 22:57:52 on Wednesday
Jebadiah Key reports:
As I was about to part company for the last time with the rest of the Toxteth Mafia, at about 8:30pm, to go to my college's May Ball, I let my (ever-so-slightly) twisted sense of humour get the better of me. And I decided to play a joke on one of the others, by pulling a gun on her. Sadly, she (understandably) didn't see the funny side.
It took a lot of convincing that I wasn't actually going to kill her, and even then, I had dealt a severe blow to the trust on which a Mafia like ours depends.
This was not an acceptable situation, and later on, after some time for reflection at my May Ball, I viddied what I must do.
Not wanting to spoil everyone else's enjoyment of the (outstandingly fantastic) Ball, I snook away to the privacy of my room. Once there, I took my gun, stuck the barrel into the roof of my mouth, and pulled the trigger.
There was no other way. :-(
I'm sorry it had to turn out so badly.

The final hour. Death lasts just seven minutes. Let's go out with some bangs! - Umpire.

Non-Player (Legal Non-Player Kill) (Bjoern Holzhauer) killed M13 (Julian Yon) at 23:35:32 on Wednesday
Non-Player (Legal Non-Player Kill) reports:
Returning to Harvey Court and still not finding any sign of the jedi, I engaged Julian in a hand-to-hand duel.
My 3.98m lance against a lightsabre, which proved to be quite unfair for him, as I quickly chopped of his legs and arms without him being able to come close to me at all.

M13 Commander Radagast (Julian Yon) killed MI3 (Ed Nokes) at 23:48:28 on Wednesday
M13 Commander Radagast reports:
As revenge for the attack on our headquarters earlier today I went in search of revenge. I found it just outside the MI3 building (Harvey Court). Armed with lances my nemesis and I circled each other slowly before beginning an epic bout of gladatorial combat that ridley scott would have been proud of.

The eventual outcome?

With a carefully aimed sweep of my lance I removed the top portion of M13's head like a man removing the top of an egg. With that victory and vengeance were mine and so I could now rest easy knowing my work here is done.

MI3 (Ed Nokes) tried to kill Non-Player (Legal Non-Player Kill) (Bjoern Holzhauer) at 23:59:59 on Wednesday
MI3 reports:
Whoopsy! In the last second of the game, I realised that I had in fact forgotten to kill Bjoern several times, and hence had not stolen all his points.

Still, as a game fellow, I saddled and prepared my ever faithful warhorse, Bela, kitted myself out in full plate armour, mounted, steadied my lance and charged. Vexingly, I missed, having mistakenly thought him 30 feet to his left. Even as I wheeled my mount around for another go, the dandelion clock struck midnight, and the game finished. I was just *too* slow.
Non-Player (Legal Non-Player Kill) reports:
With the game drawing to an end we engaged in yet another duel, 3.98m lance against 4.11m double-bladed lance.
We fought hard and long, but by the end of the day, none had been slain.

Well, it looks like I've won this game with a total bodycount of 46 (33 player kills and 13 legal non-player kills), so I want to thank all those who tried to find me in my room in vain (I tried to be in sometimes though) and my loyal partner Ed, who never shot me in the back (although we fought two duels and I shot him once), not even in the last minutes of the game.

Maybe not so many thanks to him for always picking pseudonyms that could be confused with others.

That's all folks. - Umpire.

News from day 6 (Tuesday) * Back to main page.