University of Cambridge Assassin's Guild
Archived News for Lent 1993 Game

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Member L93NEWS
 Saturday 6th 13:49
   Corpus Christi was rocked earlier today as Ian Wells, an undergraduate of the
 college, was murdered in an apparently motiveless killing. Mr. Wells had
 recently returned from a party and was apparently preparing to go to bed when
 he was shot through his door. Forensic and other evidence suggests that the
 time of death was 13:24.
   The Master of the College remarked "Ian was always a good student. No-one
 here can possibly imagine why anyone should wish to kill him." He rejected
 claims that Corpus Christi's security was lax, but it is felt the death may
 still leave a stain on the name of the college. Detective Inspector I.J.Wells
 shall be investigating.
 Saturday 6th 17:51
   In a piece of late news, Richard Fairhurst of Trinity Hall was killed by a
 small semtex bomb attatched to a friend's door. He was found dead at 16:14 by a
 porter who had been sent to investigate the smell.
   This, the second death in under three hours, is likely to produce a wave of
 paranoia throughout Cambridge. Detective Inspector Wells, who has also been
 assigned this case, denied there was any known link between the two deaths and
 reminded the public that the carrying of firearms without a valid license is a
 criminal offence.
   There will be a service at 18:00 tomorrow in the Anglo-Saxon, Norse and
 Celtic department in memory of the deceased.
 Sunday 7th 10:05
   Friends and relatives were shocked to learn late last night that Richard
 Fairhurst's death was a result of a paranoid delusion. His friend, Duncan
 Forsyth, is apparently suffering from an acute persecution complex.
   "Essentially, he believes that there's someone out there who wants to kill
 him." explained Dr. Timothy Miller of the Psychology Department. "He is
 probably walking the streets of Cambridge right now, with a gun in one pocket,
 eyeing passers-by nervously."
   A police spokeswoman, who described Forsyth as "a very sick individual.",
 emphasised that there was no basis in fact for Forsyth's fantasies. On
 questioning, she confirmed that the possibility that he was responsible for the
 death of Ian Wells was under investigation. "Forsyth is still at large. The
 general public are warned not to approach him as he is to be considered armed
 and extremely dangerous. Members of the Cambridge Constublary with appropriate
 training have been issued firearms although, as always, it is hoped their use
 will not become necessary."
 Monday 7th 13:02
   A series of violent incidents shocked Cambridge last night and forced the
 police to widen their inquiries in what looks set to become one of the most
 puzzling and savage cases Cambridge has seen. The first occurred at 21:30
 yesterday evening when Mr M J Hardcastle, of Churchill College, was lucky to
 escape with his life after a murderous assault in his rooms. Mr. Hardcastle was
 reading after dinner in St. John's when he was decoyed into opening his door to
 his assailant, who immediately attempted to shoot him with a large pistol.
 After a desperate struggle, Mr. Hardcastle succeeded in reaching his own
 weapon, which was nearby, and shot his antagonist several times in the head.
 The man died instantly and his body was removed by porters. Mr. Hardcastle's
 companion, a Miss Stoddart, whose presence of mind in handing him his gun
 undoubtedly saved his life, was slightly hurt in the fracas. No motive has been
 established for the crime, but a clearly shaken Mr. Hardcastle told our
 correspondent that he would henceforth be on his guard. A number of witnesses
 were on the scene and testified to the ferocity of the attack.
   Arriving on the scene shortly afterwards, Detective Inspector Wells
 identified the deceased as Chris Brown of Trinity Hall, a known acquaintance of
 Forsyth, a killer who is still at large. He praised Mr Hardcastle and Miss
 Stoddart's bravery and rejected criticism that the investigation of the death
 of Richard Fairhurst should have been wider. He also asked for Brown's
 belongings to be collected which, sadly, resulted in the greatest tragedy of
 the night.
   Mr. Ivan Easy, a porter at Trinity Hall was instructed to empty Brown's
 pigeonhole. His attempt caused the explosion of a large vibration-sensitive
 explosive device. He and four others died in the blast, who shall be named as
 soon as examination of dental records allow. It also caused massive structural
 damage to the college. It is not known who was responsible for the device,
 although police have ruled out either Forsyth or Brown. "This was the work of
 an expert. I wouldn't be surprised to discover he had worked for ICL's
 terrorist division." remarked Sergeant C.P.Brown, new to the case. Traces of
 contact poison were found on Brown's door handle, heightening the mystery.
   Later that night, in an apparently unrelated incident, Robert Carver of
 Fitzwilliam College was shot in an 'execution-style' killing outside his room
 at approximately 00:45. A witness reports "This man wearing a strange scarf
 walked up to Robert and said '"You're dead"'. Suddenly, there was blood
 everywhere and I remember starting to scream." Mr Carver was rushed to
 Addenbrooke's hospital where he was pronounced dead on arrival. Police
 Pathologist Ann Gustard identified the cause of death as a single bullet wound
 in the neck. Nothing is known of the assassin.
   It is hoped more information will come to light later today.
 Monday 8th 16:44
   Sergeant Brown was shot dead at 16:18 today by Duncan Forsyth in Free School
 Lane. His partner, Sergeant Carver, said "The public are warned not to
 underestimate this man. Forsyth has killed twice and is likely to kill again
 unless he is stopped."
   The victims of the Trinity Hall bomb have been identified today as Craig
 Brown, Caroline Roper, James Needham and Elaine Hill, all of Trinity Hall.
 "This tragic loss has hit the small college hard. I cannot understand how this
 could possibly have happened here. Trinity Hall is usually such a friendly
 college." stated the Senior Tutor.
   Detective Inspector Wells, investigating, announced that it was now believed
 that Matthew Finlayson was responsible for the bomb. Finlayson has long been
 known to the police as a crack explosives expert. Accusations that Finlayson
 had been lying low posing as an undergraduate for over two years in central
 Cambridge were unconfirmed but will certainly serve to weaken public confidence
 in the police yet further.
 Monday 8th 18:12
   In a shocking announcement, a police spokeswoman told reporters that
 Detective Inspector Wells and Detective Sergeant Carver had been relieved of
 their duties pending investigation. Informed opinion now questions where the
 investigation is likely to lead, it having lost two of its highest-ranking
 officers. Allegations of police brutality and widespread corruption are likely
 to result in vigilante action, which could cause a downward spiral of violence
 in Cambridge.
 Monday 8th 20:39
   Further details have now emerged. It appears that Wells and Carver were
 responsible for the death earlier today of Nicholas Reed, a mathematician from
 Trinity Hall. He died at approximately 17:30. It appears that, rather than
 stake out the room of Duncan Forsyth, the cop-killer, they simply smeared his
 door-knob with contact poison. This highly unusual move has been criticised by
 many pressure groups and is likely to result in questions in the House of
 Commons tomorrow. It is expected that the two will have to face charges.
   The Master of Trinity Hall has announced that there will be a minute's
 silence at noon on Thursday in the college in memory of the recent dead.
 Monday 8th 20:48
   Dennis Smith, the last surviving porter of Trinity Hall, expired earlier
 today whilst attempting to handle mail for Duncan Forsyth. The letter read
 "With love from Jon Knight" and forensic tests confirmed that his fingerprints
 covered it. Dr Timothy Miller stated that he believed this was likely to
 strengthen Forsyth's paranoid delusions. It is not known how the college will
 operate without porters.
 Tuesday 9th 13:32
   In the Old Bailey today, Wells and Carver, the policemen alleged to have
 killed a Cambridge undergraduate, named an accomplice. He is Jim Cameron of
 Clare College and has no previous record of convictions. Carver claimed that it
 was Cameron who procured the poison they used. Cameron is now required to stand
 trial with the two. The two were remanded into custody.
 Tuesday 9th 21:03
   The wave of anarchy currently sweeping across Cambridge has claimed another
 victim. James Bullock of Fitzwilliam College, having returned from lectures at
 15:20 was opening his mail when a his fellow students were shocked to see him
 fall to the floor. Attempts at resuscitation were unsuccessful. This is
 believed to have been the work of Jon Knight, the Emmanuel poisoner. Why
 exactly Knight wished to kill Mr Bullock with noxious gases is not known, but
 it is clear that he is a serious menace to society.
   Knight is also suspected of an unsuccessful attempt on the life of Finlayson,
 who is also still at large.
 Tuesday 9th 21:43
   News is just in of another death in ill-starred Trinity Hall. At
 approximately 20:50 yesterday it is understood that Duncan Forsyth and some
 acquaintances who have been helping him evade justice were meeting in Nicholas
 Reed's room, which has been unoccupied since his death yesterday. A vigilante
 attempted to force his way into the room. Forsyth's friends attempted to
 protect the fugitive and one of them sadly died in the process. The man then
 fled. An eyewitness gave the following description: 'He was tall, over 6ft
 high, well built, wearing glasses and a baseball cap and carrying a large
 semi-automatic rifle.' Detective Inspector J.Bullock, the new head of the
 investigation, stated that the vigilante is believed to be Ian Bache of Trinity
 and that he will hopefully be brought to justice shortly.
 Wednesday 10th 01:20
   A startled Trinity undergraduate was lucky to escape with his life today when
 Simon MacGregor, a King's undergraduate, attempted to murder him in his room.
 MacGregor fled with a flesh-wound to his right hand which, it is understood,
 was later treated by Dr Marie Lyons at Addenbrookes.
 Wednesday 10th 19:18
   It is understood that Duncan Forsyth has claimed another victim. Mrs Dorothy
 Stein, a bedder of Trinity College died attempting to enter Ian Bache's room
 this morning. There were black marks on her hand, suggesting use of contact
 poison, although this has yet to be confirmed.
 Wednesday 10th 19:25
   At 17:40 in King's, Miss Vicki Rimmel passed away in the pigeon-hole room. It
 is understood she fainted holding a suspiscious package. Speedy action on the
 part of the porters was not enough to save her life. It is believed the poison
 was a curare derivative.
   Under fire today, Detective Inspector Bullock admitted himself baffled and
 shocked by the prevalence of poisons in Cambridge.
 Thursday 11th 13:21
   At noon today, Martin Hardcastle of Churchill College attempted to apprehend
 the felon Jon Knight in the Cavendish Laboratory. Witnesses report that he
 announced "I, Martin Hardcastle, am making a citizens arrest.". Knight
 attempted to resist arrest. In the ensuing struggle Knight sustained numerous
 blows to the head, which resulted in his death. Detective Inspector Bullock
 praised Mr. Hardcastle's heroism and said "We need more people like him." He
 also reiterated that vigilantes would not be tolerated in Cambridge.
   Knight is the first criminal in the recent wave of killings to be brought to
 Thursday 11th 15:57
   Upon the arrival of Police Pathologist Ann Gustard, attendants at the morgue
 were shocked to discover Knight's body missing. It thought that he might have
 been merely unconscious and still be at large.
   In other news, the Senior Bursar of Trinity Hall has launched an appeal for
 the renovation of the Porter's Lodge. It is understood that the damage has
 totalled over two million pounds.
 Friday 12th 14:57
   Jon Knight was shot by Martin Hardcastle in New Hall toilets last night.
 Attempts to save his life were unsuccessful. A service shall be held in
 Emmanuel chapel at 17:00 today.
 Sunday 14th 00:56
   Cambridge shows signs of returning to normal, Detective Inspector Bullock
 announced today. He pointed to the absence of violent deaths in the past
 forty-eight hours. The reason for this sudden out-break of violence is still
 unknown. All attempts to link the death of Wells to Forsyth have been
 Sunday 14th 14:14
   Matthew Finlayson was found dead today in Emmanuel pigeon-hole room holding
 five Valentine's cards, one of which was coated with a black substance that is
 believed to be poisonous. The public are warned to be on their guard.
 Monday 15th 13:11
   Trinity Hall's tragedy was added to today when Daniel Fish of the college was
 mis-delivered a letter intended for Duncan Forsyth. He was found in the
 make-shift pigeon-hole room having suffered a massive intake of Hydrogen
 Cyanide. Firemen wearing gas-masks were called to the scene to retrieve the
 body. Bee Wilson, the undergraduate who found the body, is in Addenbrookes
 undergoing treatment for exposure to the gas.
   Also, Chetan Radia was shot dead by Jim Cameron in Clare Buttery. No motive
 is known, although it is hypothesised that Cameron is suffering from a
 condition similar to Forsyth's.
 Friday 19th 00:55
 STOP PRESS!! Our Cockroft 4 correspondent writes:
   Five minutes ago, David Taylor was garotted in front of incredulous Computer
 Scientists in Cockroft 4. A King's undergraduate and keen bridge player, his
 partner attacked him after he failed to ruff a crucial trick. More news shall
 be posted as we get it.
 Sunday 21st 18:40
   Forsyth struck again today in the most barbaric attack in Cambridge's
 history. Early this morning he planted three explosive devices in strategic
 points in Angel Court, Trinity which exploded at 08:45. The explosion
 completely destroyed Angel Court and did some damage to the neighbourhood of I
 staircase Great Court. Cauis escaped unharmed other than for some broken
 windows in the JCR. The total number of dead is not yet known, although it is
 expected to be very high.
   The police are working around the clock until all the dead are accounted for.
 Four people have been found alive, including Mark Walters, the mathematician.
 It is feared no others will have proved to be so lucky. Amongst the dead
 identified so far are Paul Bolchover, Ian Bache and three women who were
 stock-taking in Heffer's Children's Store.
   Sergeant M.C.Finlayson, working at the scene, commented "I've never had to
 deal with something of this size before. It is unheard of."
   Detective Inspector J.Bullock later denied that the police were now
 initiating a 'shoot-on-sight' policy with respect to Forsyth, although he added
 that, should lives be immediately endangered, he would "not hesitate to use
 whatever means possible to prevent further outrage."
   The Master of Trinity Hall was unavailable for comment.
 Monday 22nd 23:14
   Nir Leuchter of Robinson College was killed this evening by Jim Cameron in
 yet another senseless shooting. Distraught friends of the deceased frantically
 attempted to save him, but sadly he expired before an ambulance could arrive.
 The killing was described as "casual and brutal" by Detective Inspector
 Bullock, who called for Cambridge to be calm in the face of the killings. "The
 last thing we need now is vigilante gangs roaming the streets."
   Over forty bodies have now been excavated from the remains of Angel Court.
 Most of these have yet to be identified.
 Friday 26th 00:34
   Detective Sergeant Taylor and P.C. Leuchter were shot dead today in what were
 described by a spokeswoman as "very professional" killings. Both died in a lift
 in the New Museums site. It is thought they died at different times, although
 this has yet to be confirmed. The bodies were found by Clive Jones of Christ's
   When newly promoted Detective Sergeant Finlayson arrived on the scene he
 asserted that there was "no cause for the public to become alarmed" at the
 developments. When asked why the police officers had been on the scene, he
 refused to comment.
 Friday 26th 01:50
   Forsyth, described by the police as "public enemy number one" killed Andrew
 Martin of Selwyn College yesterday. He was pronounced dead at 12:32. Frances
 Kaplan, the actress, described Forsyth in an interview given on Radio Four as
 "symptomatic of the sickness at the root of our moribund society".
 Saturday 28th 18:49
   Jim Cameron, the man who first shot to notoriety after his tragic vigilante
 action against Forsyth, became his victim yesterday. Witnesses report that he
 drew his gun and fired at Forsyth, but missed, destroying one of the many
 computers in the area. Forsyth immediately returned fire and in the ensuing
 shoot-out killed Cameron.
   Police Constable Bolchover then attempted to arrest Forsyth, only to be
 gunned down himself. What the three were doing in Cockroft 4, an area of the
 New Museums Site, is unclear.
   When asked to comment, Detective Inspector Bullock stated "Paul was a
 dedicated and conscientious officer. He will be sorely missed."
 Wednesday 10th March 6:42
   Detective Sergeant Finlayson was killed in his home yesterday in an attack by
 the increasingly audacious Duncan Forsyth. He is survived by a wife and three
 children. It is expected that there will be questions in the House today over
 the breakdown of law and order in Cambridge.
 Thursday 11th March 16:31
   Forsyth's reign of terror was ended today in a massacre reminiscent of
 Hungerford in Bradwells Court. He and Simon MacGregor opened fire upon each
 other using semi-automatic machine guns. Forsyth, taking cover in the Argos
 retail store, randomly shot passers-by. Among the dead numbered five police
 officers and two students who were attempting to collect for Rag. MacGregor
 then killed Forsyth in a Kamikaze-style run into the shop, where he sprayed the
 area with bullets. It is thought that Forsyth's gun must have jammed at an
 inopportune moment.
   At Prime Minister's Question Time, Malcolm Thornton, Conservative MP for
 Crosby, asked Mr. Major if he was planning to announce a state of emergency in
 the area. Mr. Major replied that a wide range of options were being considered.

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