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Member L93INQ
Okay, first of all, a number of you will be wanting to know precisely who was
told to kill who.
Here's the list:
Martin Hardcastle (MJH22)
Duncan Forsyth (DF10003)
Jon Knight (JMAK1)
James Bullock (JB10010)
Ian Bache (ICB1000)
Nir Leuchter (NL105)
Paul Bolchover (PB10003)
David Taylor (DJT1000)
Robert Carver (RSC1004)
Jim Cameron (JC10007)
Chris Carr (CC112)
Simon MacGregor (SM10009)
Ian Wells (IJW11)
Matthew Finlayson (MCF14)
Chris Brown (CPB1001)
The list of deaths is quite complicated. My apologies for any errors, it got
incredibly complicated.
The first person to die was Ian Wells, who hadn't realized the game had
started. He was shot through his letter box by Simon MacGregor, his assassin.
Meanwhile, Duncan Forsyth had demonstrated that his ability as an undercover
agent was nil and Jon Knight sent off poison letters to both his target, James
Bullock and his assassin, Duncan.
Later that day, Richard Fairhurst died in what was to become one of the many
deaths in Trinity Hall. What had happened was that Duncan had trapped the
letter-box in his door against tampering. Sadly, Richard attempted to return a
screw-driver through it and blew himself up. Duncan went on to the wanted list
and Martin Hardcastle figured he just had to wait.
The next day, the first of many shoot-outs in Trinity Hall occured between
Simon and Duncan. Duncan's description of his assailant contained the immortal
line "May be a mathmo."
Matthew Finlayson placed a large bomb in Chris Brown's pigeon-hole along with
a vibration-sensitive detonator. Setting it up must have been a nightmare, and
it was pretty undefusable. Chris himself, however, was wandering up Churchill
way in an attempt to kill Martin. Martin, with the help of Aldabra Stoddart,
shot Chris in a rather messy gunfight. The bomb that would have almost
certainly have killed Chris and any number of innocent bystanders instead just
killed innocent bystanders. Matthew went on the wanted list.
Late that night, Robert Carver was shot outside his room by Dave Taylor.
The next day, a chase around the streets of Cambridge involving Ian, Robert,
Chris and Duncan occured. Duncan got away and later shot Chris in Free School
Lane. Chris commented "I'm not very good at this, am I?" Regrouping, Ian and
Robert asked Jim Cameron along. They applied contact poison to Duncan's and
Matthew's doorknobs and left a few other traps. Later that day, Nick Reed
visited Duncan and fell foul of the contact poison. Jim went onto the wanted
list, Ian and Robert were suspended from duties.
Jon's letter to Duncan finally made it through ICMS. It had leaked and so Jon
joined the criminals. His letter to James was more successful. All the
non-criminal players breathed a sigh of relief, Duncan reloaded his gun.
At this point traps came into their own. Not one of the many attempts were
successful, but not for want of trying. Assassins often made the fallacious
assumption that a given person was out simply because they failed to answer the
door (giving rise to one amusing incident where Matthew was notifying me as
Ian, Jim and Robert were trying to smear his doorknob with contact poison.) In
one case, the assassin assumed the intended victim was asleep and set a trap
that proved easily defusable by the late-night-party-goer.
Ian Bache tried to kill Duncan. He failed, killing Ben Jameson as well. By
this stage, nearly half the players were wanted. Around midnight, Simon tried
to kill Paul Bolchover. The reason for this is somewhat amusing. Paul had asked
Chetan Radia where one could find Garden Hostel, Kings. Chetan then proceeded
to tell both David and Simon that Paul was their nemesis.
Duncan attempted to kill both Paul and Ian with the use of contact poison and
poison gas. Several bedders died. Matthew Finlayson tried to poison Simon and
David. Simon's letter was intercepted by Vicki Rimmel. Dave survived, having
succeeded in reading the none-too-subtle message left inside. Matthew was
clearly slipping - five kilo bombs marked DIE SUCKER had also proved to be his
forte. Paul wondered if his bedders air freshener counted as poison gas. I
assured him that any choking sensation he might experience was not part of the
game.
Martin attempted to kill Jon in the Cavendish Vendearea. At this point I made
an error of judgement and announced Jon dead, a decision I later retracted. I
hope that the outcome of the game was unaffected by this. Jon is reported to
have said "You are dead meet sucker - I will not give you another chance".
Martin replied "We'll see". Jon died at the hands of Martin the next day in a
shoot-out in the New Hall toilets. What an awful place to die...
Jim sent poison letters to Chris Carr, Duncan, Dave and Matthew. Matthew got
sloppy and expired. The others survived. Jim had misposted Duncan's letter to
Dan Fish, saving Duncan the effort of being careful around the pigeon-hole
room. Jim joined the wanted list.
Dave Taylor then told Jim that Chetan Radia was his assassin. Jim proceeded
to blow Chetan away in Clare Buttery. Jim was none too pleased to discover
that, not only was Chetan not in fact his assassin, he wasn't even playing. Jim
announced that Dave was `next'.
Dave was indeed `next', although he did not die at Jim's hands. Paul
Bolchover garotted his partner whilst playing bridge on the DECs in Cockroft 4.
His triumph was short-lived, however, as he fell foul of an absolutely huge
bomb in Angel Court, Trinity that Sunday. My description of the effect of the
bomb was inaccurate (it took out half of Cauis as well) but this had no bearing
on the game. Ian also died in this explosion; Duncan hid in Cockroft 4 just in
case.
Two days later, the Pizza Crawl occured and Nir bought it. I recieved a whole
series of quite amusing messages on the subject which, sadly, have been lost. I
was really quite surprised he survived so long.
Jim was really getting into his stride by this stage, and took out Nir and
Dave in Cockroft. He later got involved in a rather messy shoot-out in Cockroft
4 with Duncan. I spent over a day trying to adjudicate it. Just to make sure,
they both killed Paul.
Colin Bell decided to kill himself. It is thought he was unsuccessful. Duncan
killed Matthew Slattery for no apparent reason. He went on to kill Matthew
Finlayson in what must have been one of the easiest kills of the game.
Simon and Duncan decided to terminate at least one of their careers by the
simple expedient of having a shoot-out in LaserQuest. Duncan lost. Everyone
went down and we stopped worrying about it.
Awards in no particular order:
The Dan Quayle Award for Competence: Duncan Forsyth
The John Kennedy Award for Survival: Ian Wells
The Strictly Ballroom Award for Making Me Laugh: The whole of Trinity Hall
The Nero Award for Moderation: Duncan Forsyth and Matthew Finlayson
The West Midlands Serious Crime Squad Award: Ian Wells and Robert Carver
The Maurice Ward Award for Invention: Simon MacGregor
Special Award for Resurrection: Jon Knight
The Julian Birch Award for Being A Lousy Bridge Partner: Paul Bolchover
The James Bond Award for the First Kill: Simon MacGregor
The Dario Fo Award for Accidental Death: Richard Fairhurst
The Queen's Award for Technology: Matthew Finlayson
The Easter Island Award for Accessibility: Chris Carr
The Judas Iscariot Award for Loyalty: Chetan Radia
The Baby Seal Award for Going Down With A Fight:
Ian Bache and Matthew Finlayson
Award for Twenty Years Distinguished Service on the Force: Chris Brown
The Hiroshima Award for Retaliation: Martin Hardcastle
The Assonance Award for Being A Useful Literary Device:
Detective Inspector James Bullock
The Norman Lamont Award for Intelligence: Nir Leuchter
The Lord Denning Award for Adjudication: Julian Birch
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