University of Cambridge Assassin's Guild
Archived E-mail for Easter 1993 Game


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Member E93MAIL
 KILLER, EASTER 1993: HIGHLIGHTS FROM THE MAIL
 
 Entries preceded with ">" indicate a message from the umpire to the user
 concerned, those preceded with "<" one from the user to the umpire. The
 entries aren't meant to form a conclusive story, but should be read in
 conjunction with the news or, better, the inquest (when I get round to
 it!).
 
 Richard Fairhurst, RJF1001 (umpire, Easter 1993)
 
 THE PRELIMINARIES
 
 <DF10003
 Oh - hell. You twisted my arm. Everybody was just going to shoot me on the
 off-chance anyway. I'm in!
 
 <ATF1000
 I wanna play killer! Name: Tom Forsyth. User ID: XJOBCON. Address: Clare
 Memorial Court. Alternatively, Clare Mem Court computer room, where my
 camp-bed is set up. I've got an exam on the 9th, so I'll start playing
 then, please.
 
 <ATF1000
 I have my eye on a vicious little pistol. You know those air-pressure ones
 that you pump up beforehand? There's a keychain version - it's miniscule!
   Yeah, I'll start on the 10th is what I mean. Should give me enough time
 to get pissed after my exams.
 
 >ATF1000
 I know the air-pressure sort - I use one myself. Or rather, I did. I don't
 think it's really on for the umpire to start shooting participants :-( !
   ...One of the reasons that Killer is starting on the 5th is that my last
 exam is on the 4th, followed by a large ASNaC piss-up :-) ...!
 
 <JC10007
 ...Can I have a decent target this time - I got Chris Carr last time and I
 couldn't get near the bastard.  How about a nice easy one like Nir 8-)
 
 <JMB29
 It's probably best to leave 'scores' well alone - there are so many random
 variables that the outcome of any given game is pretty uncertain anyway.
 For example, one of the major causes of death in the last game was being at
 Trinity Hall, rather than someone shooting at you (I am of course ignoring
 Duncan's bomb in this analysis.) I'd advise just sticking to honourable
 mentions.
    Of course, it's your funeral/ Killer game/ what's the difference? 8-)
 
 <NL105
 do you do aerobics at all?
 
 <ATF1000
 How about swords? I fancy a bit of Highlander-style slaying. Especially in
 the User Area. :-)
 
 >ATF1000
 Real swords permitted. Only against members of the CS...
 
 <JMB29
 I suggest you put your CD collection in :killer:bribery
 
 >IJW11
 Playing Killer could be quite a good move: you get to shoot all those
 people who've been messing up Zinque items and have a perfectly valid
 excuse for doing so. Probably best to keep the location of Zinque 3
 development HQ secret, though, unless you want armies of water-pistol-
 equipped loonies interrupting progress...!
 
 <IJW11
 Progress?  A bit unlikely, methinks...
 
 <MAC18
 Is there a file anywhere in your filespace with the names of all the people
 playing killer and their user id's? If there is (with the id's all in the
 same column) then could I use it to make up a killer who proggy from it -
 Ive got this library that could construct it very easily if youvr got such
 a file...
 [Nice try Mark, but no cigar!]
 
 <CRJ10
 I wonder how they'd feel about non-students playing in the next game:- it
 could be quite tricky to kill someone living in Swaffham Bulbeck. (-8
 
 THE TARGETS
 
 >JMAK1
 Chris Carr, CC112, has been judged by the Organisation to have gone one
 step too far and offended one too many people. We cannot afford to have a
 dangerous lunatic like this roaming the streets of Cambridge. Eliminate.
 
 >CC112
 The Organisation has decided that Duncan Forsyth, DF10003, must be removed
 as soon as possible to avoid the carnage seen all around Cambridge
 University last term. You have been chosen as the best man for the job.
 Your progress will be watched with interest.
 
 >DF10003
 Adam Cohen, ALC1001. We trust that you will carry out your assignment with
 customary efficiency.
 
 >ALC1001
 Prince Charles has contacted the Organisation, through an intermediary
 known only as "Squidgy", to protest at Mark Cheverton's outspoken and
 controversial views on architecture: "It really is appalling". You are
 asked to ensure that MAC18 (as he is also known) is silenced.
 
 >MAC18
 The Archimedeans are unhappy with the performance of their Secretary: he is
 felt to be devoting too much time to non-mathematical activities, some of
 which (last term) were suspected to be illegal. The Society cannot have
 links with such a shady character. Paul Bolchover, PB10003, kill.
 
 >PB10003
 The Southern Liberation Front has asked for your help in reducing the
 percentage of Northerners in Cambridge. Your first assignment is David
 Walker, DJW1004.
 
 >DJW1004
 Residents of Clare College have been complaining about the cacophony heard
 in the area around the room of JC10007, Jim Cameron. You are asked to solve
 this problem.
 
 >JC10007
 Marc Harris, MRH22. You know the rules, you know your victim, what more is
 there to say?
 
 >MRH22
 Colin Bell, CRB11, is felt to have too many Grognames. You are asked to
 resolve this problem by making sure he is not around to Grogg any more.
 
 >CRB11
 The Women's-Collective-Anarcho-Spartacists-Against-The-Bomb (Cambridge
 division) have made a formal complaint to the Organisation about the
 outrageous behaviour of Nir Leuchter, NL105. Please ensure that he never
 gets to use the Groggname "Sweet 21!".
 
 >NL105
 JMAK1 wastes too much central Zinque filespace. The Organisation has
 requested that you solve this problem by removing the userID of Jon Knight
 forever - as well as the persona of JMAK1. Have fun.
 
 THE SLAUGHTER BEGINS...
 
 <CRB11
 I've just killed Nir, with a garotte, under the brown stairs near the User
 Area. He turned up, logged on, we had a brief chat and then I followed him
 down the stairs and garotted him. Nice and easy.
   Jon Knight might be harder to kill though.
 
 <PB10003
 This evening David Walker was found dead in Angel Court, Trinity. He had a
 bullet wound in his back. Estimated time of death is 7pm
   I had some pens of his in my room, because he didn't want to take them to
 the pub after the exams, and couldn't be bothered to take them back to his
 room. He came round to get them this evening. I passed them to him through
 the window, and shot him in the back with a water pistol as her walked
 away. He was not very pleased, especially as he did not realise that the
 game had started yet.
 
 <JMB29
 Ooops. I was almost certain I'd play. Oh well, I'm sure I can think of
 something else to occupy my time.
 
 >CRB11
 I'm impressed. A couple of hours after the game started...!
   As you figured, your new target is Jon Knight (JMAK1). Judging by the
 last game, he probably _will_ be harder to kill than Nir. I'm sure you'll
 have fun trying, though...!
 
 >PB10003
 The Organisation is most satisfied with your handling of the Walker affair.
 The upper echelons of the hierarchy have assigned you a new target, in the
 person of Jim Cameron, JC10007. Be warned - he may not be so easy to
 eliminate: he has had more experience than Walker.
 
 >NL105, DJW1004
 The Constabulary's newly-acquired PR management company are most concerned
 with allegations made a few months ago about unfair police tactics. A
 strong line is likely to be taken, then, with any alleged breach of police
 rules.
 
 <DF10003
 The wanted list is surprisingly bare.
 
 >DF10003
 Not for long it isn't. The Umpire has adjudicated that you are to go on it
 :-)
 [After he shot Jonathan Colvin for playing with an elastic band!]
 
 <MCF14
 Just a warning Richard - Mark has just advertised two commands from his
 library in :KILLER:GOSSIP - they are KILLWHO and KILLWAN with the expected
 results. HOWEVER - he's 'forgotten' to point out that anyone who uses them
 will have their names logged.
   Up to you to decide whether to warn people about this....
   Matthew
   (Sorry Mark!)
 
 <CRB11
 A certain Mr Roddis has just tried to hit me over the head with a cosh in
 the User Area. He missed, though did brush my left ear and shoulder.
 
 <IJW11
 [After a report in the News file] Since when is Colin not a dangerous
 psychopath?  My hair has something different to say on that score...
 
 <IJW11
 War is hell. 8-)
 
 >IJW11
 But a fun kind of hell! :-)
 
 <JC10007
 BANG!  Little tiny bits of jc10007 all over the New Museums Site!  Mark
 Cheverton - knew he was after me & was somewhere on the site, so I was
 prowling around, and I found him.  Couldn't see a big enough weapon on him
 to beat my range, so of course Mr. Berserker here charges the bastard.
 Whaddayaknow? Grenades.  Boom Splat.  Porter's going to have great fun in
 the morning clearing up the mess.
   Can I be a cop and go and kill Duncan?  Please?
 
 <MAC18
 [This one rivals the Norse sagas in its complexity, but I thought it should
 go in]
  Well last night I made my first kill hehehehehe, In the dead of night
 (bout half oneish to be precise). Paul was spotted online from a terminal
 in the user area. Me, about to go to bed and having a last minute mail
 check from my dial-up notices the blatant PB10003 logged on from Computer
 Lab public console 17! Quickly I ran to the scene and logged on in the
 Mond. Settling down to do info find till he moved I waited patiently, and
 then he moved, quickly I ran to the building and hid in an opportune place.
 I waited, and waited some more. Nothing happened - I began to think heUd
 outwitted me - uncertainly I made my way to the UA. I logged on - he was
 now on from Telnet - I telnetted to where he was logged on - it was the
 Telnet gateway. I looked around the room - there wasnUt many people there
 so I made a guess, walked up and fired.
   It turns out after examining the body that he wasnt actually armed - sigh
 some people will never learn. Anyway I moved fast - my next target was
 jc10007 and heUd been warned. I moved to an opportune place in hiding and
 waited for him to pass, he stood undecidedly just a few metres away but
 then went in - I went on the chase. Confrontation happened in the doorway
 at the bottom of the stairwell - I looked at his massive water pistol and
 at my puny one and made a retreat. Quickly I headed for the toilets - my
 last hope to fill the bombs Id been carrying. Quickly I filled them my
 hands shaking and crept silently round the building. Suddenly there he was
 standing at the end of the tunnel at the left side of the NMS, he charged
 thinking he had advantage on range - I threw the first bomb - it missed!
 then I carefully aimed and threw the second at the wall just in front of
 him - the grenade exploded and the blast got him full in thestomach before
 he was in range to get me. I sighed with relief realising the night was
 truly over.
 
 <DF10003
 Poisoned Paul Bolchover's door handle.
 Near miss with Cameron. He has staked out Clare bridge!
 Looking for superior firepower now!
 
 <DF10003
 Phew!
 <Sound of dripping sweat>
 
 Couldn't find a larger weapon.
 Decided to booby-trap Jim's room while he was out.
 But when I went via Garret Hostel failed to see him on Clare bridge.
 Thought - where least obvious place to hide.
 Answer - stake out A Cohen (also at Clare).
 
 Peered through window - no sign.
 Listened at door - no sound.
 
 Ah - time for the old contact poison, I thought.
 Then if I get bored I can always take a walk.
 So I went to the kitchen to prepare the poison.
 I was a mite surprised to see Adam walk in with a gun!
 Fortunately my reflexes were the faster.
 I dropped the poison and reached for my own weapon, whilst at the same time
 diving for cover.
 After his first miss he dove for cover also, swinging himself behind the
 same door. He poked his gun round swiftly firing at where I had been only a
 moment earlier. Now crouched low, I had finally balanced my pistol & let
 loose a torrent of bullets.
 Adam died. A bullet passed through his brain.
 He was a brave adversary & a worthy opponent.
 
 Next, please.
 
 <ALC1001
 'E deaded me the dirty rotten swine...
   I was sitting quite peacefully in my room when I caught sight of a mad
 compsci-looking person walking past my window. Naturally I went outside to
 investigate (armed of course - you never know WHO prowls around Clare
 college these days...) and was pounced upon from behind the kitchen door. I
 managed to get a shot in before I was brutally slain and my remains
 splashed all over the hallway. Unfortunately the shot missed...
   After being shot I enquired as to my assassin's identity and discovered
 that I was only the latest in the serial run of Mr. Forsyth
 
 >ALC1001
 Bad luck. Oh well, you've got another chance to get him - this time as a
 policeman :-)
 
 THE KILLING FIELDS
 
 >JS138
 Your target is Mark Cheverton, MAC18. He has gained a fearsome knowledge of
 weapons and ways to use them. The Organisation requests your help in
 "disappearing" him before he may cause any more trouble. Speed is of the
 essence.
 
 >DF10003
 You are asked to eradicate Puneeta Mongia (PM10000). The Organisation is
 relying on the truth of reports about your accuracy and efficiency.
 Progress is expected to be quick.
 
 >PM10000
 Your target is Stephen Mawhinney, SJM1003. Use any fair means to wipe him
 out: water pistol, poison, you name it. A report on your progress is
 awaited with interest.
 
 >SJM1003
 The University has decided that Magdalene College is a dangerous subversive
 influence and is corrupting the left-wing image of campus politics. You are
 asked to help them in their efforts to remove every member of the college
 by disposing of Giuliano Procida, GPP10.
 
 >GPP10
 The Organisation have issued a demand for the killing of John Sloan, JS138.
 You have been assigned to the task to measure your efficiency. Do well and
 you will be rewarded with further employment. Fail and you are dead.
 
 
 <JC10007
 [One of the many attempts at guessing who was playing. No-one got it wholly
 right!]
 acm1001            Andrew Martin
 nwc10              Nick Clark
 mjh22              Martin Hardcastle
 df10003            Duncan Forsyth            w
 alc1001            Adam                      dc  df10003
 mac18              Mark Cheverton            w
 pb10003            Paul Bolchover            dc  mac18
 djw1004            David Walker              dc  pb10003
 jc10007            me                        dc  mac18
 mrh22              Marc Harris
 tgr10              Tim Roddis
 crb11              Colin Bell
 nl105              Nir Leuchter              dc  crb11
 jdr1002            John Robinson
 mjs1006            Matthew Slattery
 
 <JS138
 For interest, the first game run after Paul typed in the rules was run by
 Rob Swarbrick (rjs23) who made modifications and wrote most of the rules
 about computer rooms/libraries etc.
 
 <MAC18
 Managed totake out on of the sleezy cops today - Nir while at Addenbrookes,
 but seems someone beat me to him, I hadnt realised I was in the morgue.
 (sound of hand hitting forehead)
 
 <DNA1000
 Have you given my name to an assassin already? I received a possible death
 threat by NOTIFY this evening!  (From DFRB1) Or perhaps this was just a
 general threat.
 
 >DAB13
 Your target is Mark Cheverton, MAC18. Many have tried to kill him but so
 far none have succeeded. The Organisation considers him a dangerous menace
 to the fabric of Cambridge civilisation (or would do if it used those sorts
 of words). You will be rewarded with a place in the history books.
 
 >GPP10
 You have been rewarded with another mission. David Brown, DAB13, is showing
 dangerous signs of a rebellious spirit. The Organisation cannot tolerate
 this and requires his execution immediately. If you succeed, the world will
 know your name.
 
 <DAB13
 Cheers! Mark's going to be a toughy but I can do it.
 
 THE MASSACRE
 
 >ATF1000, JC10007
 I would like to propose that, in the light of the inconclusive and disputed
 shoot-out in Clare earlier, another contest is staged. This would be
 refereed by the umpire.
   It would happen tonight, and it wouldn't be a direct shoot-out, but
 people would be set off from different parts of the area and would have to
 use their native wit &c. Normal Killer rules apply, of course.
   All people NOT dead before tonight would be allowed to play. As far as I
 know, this is MAC18, DFRB1, JC10007, ATF1000, ALC1001. Remember that some
 of the above may _not_ be playing _at_the_moment_. Therefore, if killed,
 they are innocent bystanders (and only count as accomplices in any murder:
 "Targets cannot be assassinated by an accomplice", rule 1.2.3).
   MAC18 is a bit miffed about not having any weapon, therefore if no-one
 else objects, he can borrow my Super Soaker 100.
   Suggestions? Questions?
 
 <NL105
 the news for the 9th of june fail to mention that I was murdered
 *at*ADDENBROOKS*
 [Yes, and they also failed to mention that I had steak-and-kidney pie for
 dinner that day. Silly me.]
 
 <GPP10
 Hey, dead men cannot talk, so how is my name known?
 [Names were "made known" in this game because it was intended to be more
 of a fast game than usual, especially with a load of people joining in
 later that week. Normal service will be resumed in the next game!]
 
 <CRB11
 ...I've come round to see you on about four occasions now but you're never
 in. Oh well.
 [Usually because I was involved in some particularly involved shoot-out!]
 
 >JJC1001
 Andrew Martin, ACM1001. The Organisation hopes that your career as a killer
 will be more successful than that as an innocent bystander.
 
 >ACM1001
 The Organisation has decided that Chris Brown, CPB1001, poses a dangerous
 threat to all non-Amiga-owning computer users everywhere. You are asked to
 eliminate him at once. Upon his death, his Amiga will be taken into safe-
 keeping to prevent such a problem reoccurring: please notify the
 Organisation when this is possible.
 
 >CPB1001
 David Allsopp, DNA1000, is rumoured to have certain photographs in his
 possession which may endanger the whole future of the Organisation. These
 must not be allowed to be published. Remove him using any fair means.
 
 >DNA1000
 Julian Birch knows too much. He has an understanding of the finest points
 of the legal system relating to assassinations, full knowledge of the
 extent of the Organisation's involvement in the deaths in Cambridge of last
 term, and is pretty handy with a water-pistol. This is a tough assignment,
 but someone's got to do it. Be a hero.
 
 >JMB29
 Trinity Hall is showing dangerous signs of becoming an assassin's paradise.
 The University Senate has decided that the more "subversive" elements of
 the first year are to be eliminated, one by one. You are requested to
 commence this operation by removing Jonathan Colvin, JJC1001, from the
 college, the university, and this life in general.
 
 <JMB29
 I thought J Colvin had already bought it.
 [Yes, but as an innocent bystander before he joined in the game.]
 
 <DNA1000
 Julian Birch successfully terminated. Shot repeatedly on X staircase Sidney
 Sussex.
 ["This is a tough assignment". Ahem.]
 
 <ACM1001
 There was an attempted attack on my life this afternoon. Contact poison was
 smeared on my door nob, but I can open my door without turning the knob in
 the usual way and so I avoided it. The killer left a note signed Wolf.
 
 <JJC1001
 Duncan has just chased me through Trinity Hall.
   As I was leaving the room of my friend Ben Jameson, Duncan espied me from
 the wall by the river and drawing an automatic pistol began to chase me.
   Fortunately, I spotted him doing this, so I ran and thankfully made it to
 the safety of the crowds of people in the Dining Hall. When I emerged he
 had already made his getaway.
   I wish to lodge a formal complaint with the police force about the lack
 of policing in and around Trinity Hall - known to be a favourite haunt of
 this infamous criminal. If nothing is done then I feel that I shall be
 justified in taking the law into my own hands.
 
 <SJM1003
 Alas, I have been got by the radioactive toxic poison on my door handle,
 but by the assasin's own admissiom the poison takes 1 or 2 days before I
 die, so I shall seek my revenge ..... (Moronic meglomainiacal laugh)
 
 >DNA1000
 Congratulations. The Organisation is most pleased with your handling of
 this case. Your next target is JJC1001, Jonathan Colvin of Trinity Hall. Be
 warned: he is frightened of little, as suggested by his attempted kill on
 Duncan Forsyth earlier today. Progress reports are awaited with interest.
 
 <JMAK1
 One failed poison letter, looked sort of like pritt stick when  I cut the
 end off the envelope. Don't know much because I did not risk taking the
 note out of the envelope. Who writes me a letter addressed to J. M. A.
 Knight through UMS... in a soggy envelope, I mean it is not my Help User
 entry is it?
 
 OVERHEARD...
 reported NOTIFY conversations
 
 to DF10003:
 +***From MAC18:  Shit Im gullable
 +***From MAC18:  Sigh, I mean I wouldnt be bothered being set up by police
 but by people I dont even recognise...
 
 +***From ALC1001: Did you chase after MAC?
 # Didn't get there in time. Has lost police escort.
 +***From ALC1001:  Jim's lying at the foot of the rear entrance to the NMS
 with acute stomach ache after too muich exertion..
 +***From ALC1001:  b*gg*r
 +***From ALC1001:  and I was waiting at his home as well - I must have just
 missed him coming back
 # damn.
 # 2 injured here + Colvin
 +***From ALC1001:  there were some _very_suspicious people walking back
 along clare avenue, so i was slowed down
 # Don't panic you are the police.
 +***From ALC1001:  who got hurt?
 # Brown And Alsopp
 +***From ALC1001:  but I thought one of them WAS MAC!
 +***From ALC1001:  and another was holding a spherical thing which looked
 extreemly like a greanade
 # None had grenades
 +***From MAC18:  Argghhh
 +***From ALC1001:  it turned out to be a tennis ball...
 +***From ALC1001:  MAC always seems to  have grenades tucked away somewhere
 +***From ALC1001: Did you chase after MAC?
 +***From MAC18:  It was a setup!
 +***From ALC1001:  so here I am, armed to the teeth, jim downstairs holding
 my waterpistol and I miss everything.
 +***From ALC1001:  just my luck
 +***From ALC1001:  I think we need a groan killer...
 +***From ALC1001:  guess who's just logged on
 
 to the umpire:
 ***From IJW11:  Oh bugger.  Someone's killed Julian.  Now who's going to pay his rent??? 8-)
 
 to CRB11:
 +***From MAC18: I wasnt here - I godda rush - cops on the loose - sorry
 colin - will examine scrollbaclk of other computer later
 +***From MCF14: Nark's probably left his computer xqfile'ing the killer
 files. Ooops. Forget Isaid that. 8-)
 
 to DF10003
 +***From MAC18:  THe gate was locked so they expected me to come through
 the entacard door
 #m Er... Yeah? What did you do?
 +***From MAC18:  I havent an entacard so had to climb over the gate so they
 lost the surprise attack
 #m ha ha ha.
 +***From MAC18:  THe gaurd slung me out for tresspassing though
 # Not so good.
 who
 --------+--------------------------------+---------------------------------
 RJF1001 | Richard                        | Trinity Hall
 MAC18   | Mark                           | Central Unix Service (bootes)
 CRB11   | Colin                          | Pure Mathematics 3 (G23)
 MCF14   | Matt                           | Central Unix Service (bootes)
 --------+--------------------------------+---------------------------------
 # What time is it?
 # Are you aware that Matt Finlayson is logged on from the same (alledged)
 position?
 +***From MAC18:  1.29
 +***From MAC18:  What shjould we do?
 +***From MAC18:  I could try to get back to my room to get the bomb stuff
 # Fine - anything you need?
 +***From MAC18:  Hell be in his room
 # I have a cooking timer!
 +***From MAC18:  Right well if you think a bombs a good idea - Ive got two
 27 boxes and some string and stuff - we could rig that to the timer
 # Fine.
 # Meet outside Kings in ... how long will it take you?
 +***From MAC18:  Where shall I meet you (If I dont get killed carrying two
 great boxes marked bomb about?
 # Don't mean King's. Mean Clare, memorial court
 +***From MAC18:  Kings is a bit risky theres three maniacs about - ermmmm
 do you know
 +***From MAC18:  OK, outside the main gate stright back froimthe rear of
 clare?
 # Fine. When?
 # Do you know how to get in Clare at night?
 # There are 2 ways. Via a side gate or risk barbed-wire through the hedge.
 +***From MAC18:  OK see you there - Im the one carrrying two boxes - dont
 shoot me!!! Ermmm about - 10 to if I meet no trouble If Im not there by two
 then I could be running - try a logon and If Im not there scarper. Nope how
 do I?
 +***From MAC18:  Il go through kings then :)
 +***From MAC18:  Im going to leave myself logged on... Ill see you there
 # OK stay safe!
 jgspy mac18
 MAC18 is accessing MAC18.IS.ASLEEP
 logoff
 
 JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT IT WAS SAFE...
 
 >JMAK1
 The Organisation is most impressed with your termination of the subversive
 boatie Chris Carr. Your next target is ACM1001, Andrew Martin. Progress
 reports will be awaited with interest...
 
 >ACM1001
 You are asked to fulfil the contract held by the late Duncan Forsyth. The
 Organisation requires the death of Puneeta Mongia, PM10000, of New Hall. If
 you can succeed where Forsyth failed there will be rewards.
 
 >DAB13
 Your new target is MRH22, Marc Harris, of Selwyn College. You are requested
 to ensure his swift demise.
 
 <MJS1006
 To: His Greatness The Umpire <RJF1001>
 Please could I join the Killer game, starting from midnight i.e. 45 mins
 time?
 [Like the nickname...!]
 
 >PM10000
 Unfortunately, your target (Stephen Mawhinney) has died after a prolonged
 illness caused by radiation poisoning. Your new target is Ben Jameson,
 BFJ1000. He is showing signs of dissent from the line pursued by some CUCS
 committee members over the issue of the new CUCS machine. They have asked
 the Organisation to ensure his death, and you have been chosen to carry out
 the contract.
 
 >BFJ1000
 Your target is MJS1006, Matthew Slattery. The Organisation is worried that
 he will become a dangerously individualistic assassin and has consequently
 asked another dangerously individidualistic assassin to solve this problem
 - you. Have fun.
 
 >MJS1006
 You are asked to fulfil the contract on the life of Guiliano Procida,
 GPP10, which Stephen Mawhinney was unable to carry out due to his tragic
 death from radiation poisoning. The Organisation hopes you have more luck
 than Stephen did.
 
 <JMB29
 Oh, I'm dead again btw.
 
 <MJS1006
 Subject: Tragic (hahaha) death of 2 police officers
 I have had a fun morning so far... I have killed 2 police (SCUM!!!)
 officers... Snigger snigger snigger... Adam Cohen was shot in the head
 while walking through Clare college at approx. 9:40am and Ben Jameson was
 also shot in the head after my impersonation of his friend Alec Gunner
 tricked him into getting out of bed and opening his door.
   Nowhere is safe.  I will continue to kill police officers wherever
 possible.
   HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
 
 <MJS1006 (again)
 Subject: Another death [SNIGGER]
 I have claimed the life of another scummy police officer, Duncan Forsyth,
 who was blown up while sleeping(?) in his room at 10:51am by a 9000cm3
 bomb.  I was safely out of range, but I think that a fair bit of N
 staircase was blown up. Also killed was Nick Reed (who witnessed the bomb
 going off a few microseconds before his tragic (NOT) death).
   I'm also not sure that I've reported the death of Jonathan Colvin yet -
 he was garotted in TH computer room at approx. 12:15am.
   This killing spree is a great laugh, you should try it sometime...
 
 <MJS1006 (what a surprise)
 Another police officer [grin], Chris Brown, has been killed by none other
 than myself.  The contact poison left on his door at approx. one minute
 past midnight was his downfall - he returned from Robinson May Ball in a
 state of inebration and put his hand right in it... 8-)
                                         - Matthew 'Terminator' Slattery -
 
 <CRB11
 Nobody seems to have noticed anything, although in real life I would have
 expected LMT to scream or faint or do some ladylike thing.
 
 <CRB11
 Isn't carnage _fun_?
 
 <PB10003
 I regret to inform you of the death of Colin Bell.
    At 4:30 today, as I was crossing Trinity Street, I was accosted by Colin
 Bell, who tired to garrot me. Luckily, the garrot caught in my protective
 gogglers, totally ruining them, and thus hit me on my upper lip, not my
 neck.
   I then grabbed the garott, but Colin fled into N staircase Whewell's
 Court, Trinity. Having observed this, I proeceded back to my room for some
 extra weaponry, and went up N-staircase, wher found Colin waiting to ambush
 me with his co-conspiritor, Robindra Bhattacharyya. I surprised them, and
 seeing that Colin was armed with a poison-tipped umbrella, I killed him
 with two shots, one to the leg, and the other to the head. In the ensuring
 chaos, Robin unfortunately fled.
                         Superintendant Bolchover
 
 <PB10003
 On further inspection, I have discovered that N3 Whewell's court, Trinity,
 outside which Colin Bell was hiding, is the headquarters of a secret
 organisation know as the PGR. It is possible that members of this semi-
 masonic lodge might cause a danger to the public. Known members, with their
 code-names include
 
 Colin Bell              (CBR11)
 David Jones             (DRJ11)
 Eva Myers               (ERM1001)
 Richard Brooksby        (RPTB1)
 Michael Greene          (MTG??)
 Michael Fryers          (MJF??)
 Gareth Rees             (GDR10)
 Robindra Bhattacharyya  (RB10005)
 Robin Michaels          (RM10006)
 Colin Yakely            ?????
 Adam Chalcroft          (DAC11)
 Mark Wainwright         (MAW11)
 David Moore             (DSTM1)
 Julian Birch            (JMB29)      [Former PC Birch]
 
 I will attempt to investigate further.
                         Inspector Bolchover
 
 [Meanwhile, back on Planet Earth...!]
 
 <ACM1001
 I have killed Puneeta Mongia (PM10000). Just before eight o'clock I was
 waiting in her corridor contemplating how to kill her when she come the
 other way and entered her room. I knocked and went in where I calmly shot
 her after a brief discussion where she pleaded for me to not shoot her
 balldress. I quietly left the scene of the crime.
    (I have also discovered who tried to blow me up this morning, it was
 Marc Harris, now a policeman after I killed him last night, he had no care
 that he would kill innocent people, including me.)


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