``Assassination should consist of Universally Tasteful Practical Jokes. Assassination should be Subtle. And laid-back Society Meetings, while no-kill zones, should not be entirely safe either (read Espionage and `Sabotage')... This is the Inner Half of Assassination..."
Day: The Sunday after Varsity, weather permitting.
Time: welcome any time within 1:00--4:00.
Place: Queens Backs. ***maplink***
In this Killing Event/Party, you shall provide or be allotted the Presidency of a Silly Society (most Don't Really Exist or are Parodies of Societies which do Exist -- Spocksoc, Crocsoc, Root Veg Soc, the Trinity Foot Bagels, Ducksoc, the indoor version of Capture the Flag, known as Capture the Wig... http://www.srcf.ucam.org/also/TheInnerHalfVI.html lists them and what they do, but be welcome to bring your own/improvise...). You shall run a number of "10 minutes maximum" meetings of that Society in one of the Five Picnic Areas and attend others' Mayhem, ahem, Meetings.
For a Society to be Valid, it has to have a prescribed means by which the person in power can close the Meeting. This is usually sudden, as a ploy for the person in power to shoot others present :)
The Five areas shall have: Snacks, Main Course, Dessert, Drinks and Glasses/Plates/Cutlery. We advise you not to choke on the picnic food while you are laughing.
You will also be given a list of Presidents of other Silly Societies who are your Targets for Assassination. The above weblink also has the Rules for this Killer Game, which will additionally be On Display on the Flat's Door. The idea is that you Can't Kill People Within Society Meetings, but you can kill them Before the Meeting Starts, Just After it Ends and While People Move About Between Meetings. It shall be Miniature Weapons Only (see below).
With best wishes & email us if you have any Questions!
Alicia Danks (ad476) and Ed Anderson (ea212) *possibly add organizers*
0. It is a fun party and please note that the killing is only a game!
Thus No Part of the Picnic merits nasty or inappropriate behaviour.
If you are killed, betrayed, lied to or plotted against in the killing,
that is no grounds for taking real-life offense.
1 no part of the evening merits causing Trouble or Nuisance. Do not shoot bystanders if there are any.
2 The purpose of a pluralistic silly party, and of assassins, is the constant meeting of new people and the making of friends. You will see and hear many strange and wonderful things, and you will need to find out who those targets are... Encourages you to mix.
N.B. you are welcome to come as a non-assassin, provided that you nevertheless consent to occasionally being stabbed or shot with safe, carefully handled toy weapons/ fluffy toys/ pieces of cardboard (for you may be misidentified, or killed accidentally, or randomly), and preferably if there are at least eight players present at the Picnic at the time.
3 The Rules of Killer, List of Societies and Scoring System will be publically displayed on some of the Tablecloths. You may not play The Inner Half Picnic Killer unless you've read its rules.
To play, turn up and fill in cards saying what you are the president of and what its power structure and means of closure are. Or take some of the pre-prepared cards for "standard" Silly Societies.
The Inner Umpire on duty has the traditional Immortal and Unbiassed traits of Umpires as regards the assassination bit of the party. The Inner Umpire says:
* All assassin attacks should be Universally Tasteful Practical Jokes.
I * The assassining is set up to favour those who are keen on assassining that afternoon.
Reincarnation every 10 minutes will allow the keen but initially hapless quite a number of opportunities
to become proficient/get even...
II * Assassins is not a `contact' or `physical strength' game.
Thus little and large and weak and strong can play together both
evenly, and SAFELY.
Emphasis: Assassins is Never about pushing people around or
forcing them out of your way.
In particular: 1) No actual knocking weapons out of other people's hands.
2) Certainly don't do anything that might even slightly hurt you or anyone else.
III * You may not kill people in open society meetings.
IV * Only *live players* can kill people. If you are dead, stay totally out of it till you reincarnate...
If you kill anyone not bearing arms, not Wanted, not your target or not your assassin, you are Wanted and everyone will be told that you are and what you are President of.
0 * You may only use something not listed below if the Umpire sees it and approves it.
1 * Labelling: You may improvise attacks by attaching sticky labels to things lying around such as fluffy toys, tissue boxes or blunt pieces of cardboard. The label should say which of the weapons below it's supposed to be. Certainly hard objects such as cutlery or shoes, or overly large objects like pillows, or messy objects such as food items not on the list below are NOT permitted to become weapons by labelling.
2 * Knife: labelled blunt cardboard knives or nerf-darts may be used to TAP WITH NO FORCE IN THE BLOWS. NO ACTUAL STABBING OR SLASHING. These may be thrown. PENS are NOT ALLOWED as knives.
3 * Club: NB this is fatal, not a stun-weapon. labelled rolled-up newspaper, Penguin or Aubergine may also be used to TAP WITH NO FORCE. These may NOT BE THROWN. NO SWORDS ARE ALLOWED.
4 * Furthermore you are NOT ALLOWED TO TAP TO THE FACE OR THE NAUGHTY BITS.
5 * Gun: Each Picnic Area will have four cornerposts making a 10 metre by 10 metre square.
Each of these Squares is No Water Weapons. Therein, guns are represented by flicking bands and
by ridiculously underpowered Nerf-guns provided by the Management.
Outside these squares, you may use "CPS's" represented by the four-inch xp 215 supersoakers,
and "XP's" represented by (sub) 2-inch squirty-pistolettes (of which the Management shall provide plenty).
There are no Bang-Kills.
6 * Grenades: you may throw Paper Balls, and the Foamballs and Teddy Bears provided,
but not along any lines that compromise the food and drink.
Neither grenades nor knives may be Multi-thrown.
7 * Razor-Edged Hats: Those labelled hats that are Soft Enough to be Approved by the Umpire cut you
right in two!
8 * Blocking is allowed with hand-held weapons. Ricochets count as hits.
There are to be No Blocking Extensions appended onto weapons and No Shields. However, the piles of food,
trees etc count as blocking all weapons.
What constitutes a hit and disagreements over kills
9 * Death is instantaneous if hit in the head or torso (unless it's an illicit tap strike, CF * 4).
10 * A hit to a limb results in the loss of that limb as regards playing
assassins until the next incarnation.
11 * Be honest. If you disagree about the outcome of an attack,
12 * This Will be a blindfolded water pistolette duel between the top few players pointwise, each starting with one water pistolette and there being several more of these randomly scattered around the duel area.
In addition to Champion, there will also be Actual Prizes for Most Innovative Society Organizer, Most Entertaining Societal Performance, Most Spectacular Kill, Most Deaths, Bringing Criminals To Justice, Longest Run... as well as possible One-offs like Double and Triple Kill Prizes, Worst Pun Prizes, All Souls Merit and Distinction Performance Awards (currently held by only 1 and 3 people respectively) and the All Souls MSc award for any particularly outstanding non-winning performance (currently held only by the Charming and Dread Mr Martin Lester). The Reigning Inner Half Champion is Ben Weaver, and the reigning Rafferteigh-Champion is Ed Anderson. The current game, being more relaxed and artistic, shall not simultaneously run a Raffearteigh game. Instead, the following shall occur...
13 * Arsy Hash-Assassins.
If you join or are forced into this Society, you will Die if you are caught going more than one minute without Making an Injoke, regardless of whether you are in a Socmeet or not at the time. As usual, you will then ressurrect after 10 minutes.
Concealment: any sizeable weapons should be well-hid yet accessible for use. Loose clothing, plastic bags, under a pile of coats...
Imagination: in choosing what to label and how to label it without being seen in a crowded room.
Surprise: in where to spring it from.
Timing: Especially use your societal powers to influence when the meeting closes, within the rules of that society. Only the first two attacks per society per closure will be allowed, and only two attacks involving people from that meeting moving to other meetings.
Lie and Betray: and take no offense from death, deception or treachery.
It's only a game!
Spy: During the meetings, you may determine who your target is.
Steal, Hide or Sabotage: you may attempt these during meetings if they are
not disruptive to the meeting &
label suitable new things as weapons,
so long as none of that disrupts the meeting.
E.g a pig was once swapped for a canister of silly string of equal size,
leaving a player defenceless.
E.g one player had all but their crucial - and better-hidden - weapon
sabotaged at a party.
E.g A certain Christian Union closed a meeting suddenly and early to kill
an infiltrator,
only to die for there were two more unspotted infiltrators behind them.
E.g A gormless fool called Robert turned up to a Sheila meeting,
exiting with a spectacular triple kill of experienced players. He
obviously wasn't a fool or `Robert'.
Long Live the Inner Half!
If you kill your Target, take 3 point off them on the scorecard and get a new Target card from Umpire.
If you kill someone for bearing, take 1 point off them on the scorecard.
If you kill somebody Wantedly, get 2 points from the Umpire (*Not* the Victim).
If you kill a Wanted Criminal, take 6 points off them on the scorecard.
PLAN 9: You additionally get 1 point per person present in each of your society meetings and a bonus of 9 points for the largest society meeting of the evening.
PLAN 9.1: The Fresher who correctly identifies the most parodies of real societies in the soclist also gets 9 points. Answers must be submitted in writing.
You are welcome to bring your own Silly Society. Here are some Examples for Guidance and for use by those who do not bring one of their own. Enjoy :)
Sheila and her Dog (founded 1986, is a real society) We are a Tyranny ruled by Dance Commanders and Interludes that Read Children's Books in Silly Voices. Our meetings start and close when our Apex drops a Penguin onto the Floor.
Root Veg Soc (Invented by a Societes Proctor in the 90's) : We are a nitpicking "democracy", devoted to fiddling the constitution so as to stay in power indefinitely. The constitution can only be changed by One who Holds an Adult Aubergine. Our Meetings end when the Constitution Says So, with the words 'Thus Spake A.A. Aubergine. Amen.'
The Carrollideans Croquet Subring (Founded in 2004 by E. Anderson) We are an Inconstitutional Tyranny, whose Meeting Shall Begin when One Present Proves Worthy of Queenship by Proving that there is No Such Thing as a Largest Prime. The others shall be alternately allocated the roles of Arches and Players. It's Standard(ish) Croquet except the Queen gets to perform one O(2) transformation on one of the Arches per full playing phase. The meeting ends when the Queen either wins or exclaims "off with their heads !!!". In the latter case, the game can resume, and ends when the first player has gone through all the Correctly-Oriented Arches.
Crocsoc (founded in 2000 by L.M. Dray and E. Anderson) We Construct Cardboard Crocodiles and Paint them Greeeeeeeeeeeen ! We are an Anarchistic Commune. Is only Open while at least one person present is Actively Working on a Crocodile.
Spocksoc (founded in TIH III) Special Missive: BjoernBorg AGM at QM, 666 Sullivan Street. We are an Oligarchy Ruled by Those with the Tallest Prosthetic Ears, Our Powerbase are the Chairbeings, who shall be known as 'those who are not Alligatorwomen from Posteriors V'. While our Apex, who shall be known as "the Ian", gets to close the meeting by 'Putting Orange Juice in the Fridge'.
Reclinesoc (founded in TIH I by S.P. Bird) We Recline to Comment on our Power-Structure. All merely sitting or standing (spit) are fair game to shoot and be shot. [now known as reclinesoc]
Societas Zingiberenifera Secreta (founded by Sally Clough in L00 as an excuse to kill an assassin-couple). We are the Secret Society that Brings Ginger Cake to Random People. We are not at all the Bavarian Illuminati. Has a "Pyramid-Sales" Recruitment Strategy based on the Number Five. All Hail Dischordia! [*Editor: This, and the equally nefarious Ducksoc, are now bound to remain in their starting partition; also such as throwing knives and bandguns no longer constitute valid Honorary Ducks.]
Capture The Wig (founded in TIH I by S.P. Bird) We are an Indoor Battle Assassin Society. Due to Amazingly Timed Terraqueous Teleportation, our Power Structure is not two but Three! Rival Armies - Red Headbands, Yellow Headbands *and* Sentient Race of Evil Spaceturtles (Lortnoi). We play First Team to Two Wins. Winning Army gets to close the meeting!
The perpetually amazed ornithologists (founded in TIH IV by B. Weaver) Meeting is opened by "look, there's a ... [insert species of bird NOT MENTIONED BEFORE THAT GAME]" and closed by "look, there's a ... [insert species of mammal likewise not mentioned before that game.
CULESBIGAY (from TIH III, first Rep. by J.G. Blanchard-Lewis) We will be putting on a performance of Bafta Tame's "the Irrelevance of being Bertie", a light episode of 1910's Sesame Street. We shall meet Thrice: to write the script and audition for the cast, to rehearse and to perform. Powerbase: all present at the first meeting must have a character. Once the last line is written/said, Open Fire!
Leisure Lap (founded in TIH V by E. Anderson and A. Danks) We are a society of Exotic Dancers that Remove Layers of Boiled Leather and Chainmail, ruled by those who have taken off the most such layers *Editor: while remaining decent.* Our Meetings are closed whenever a Skeleton walks in and is Brained with a Blunt Weapon, this being connected to the Powerstructure in that it is down to the Apex to provide a Skeleton when it suits them.
StonedSoc (founded in TIH V by E. Anderson) We are a Moshocracy ruled by those with the Highest-Velocity Hair. This might just serve to Centrifuge the Uranium Ore and other Illicit Heavy Metals that we Smoke all the way up to Weapons-Grade Quality. Our meetings are closed by "obtaining a Kebab from the Van of Death".
The Trinity Foot Bagels (founded in the 1990's) We Bravely Chase Vicious Chicken-Murdering ... cream-cheese-filled buns, and Do For Them, Chiefly with our Packs of Rottweilers and our Trusty 350mm Howitzers, although we sometimes then give them a Jolly Good Stomping (in Antique Diving Boots) "just to make sure"... Our meeting ends when nobody has had Scent of a Bun for over two minutes. Tally Ho!
Kick--You (founded in TIH IV by M. Donaghy) We are a Violontocratic-Konvertive Martial Arts Society focussing on dealing blows with the legs *Editor strictly slow noncontact movements only* and finishing our opponents off with our deadly Psalm Strike To The Face. Anyone Receiving a Deadly Psalm Strike is Automatically a Member and thus forced to attend our half-hourly meetings (unless 'turned' back by a FUCS Chapelstrike) Our Apex, to be known as the Sensei of Southwark, is whoever holds the lead in adminstering Psalm-Strikes and shall close the meeting by Hailing "Paramilitary Shift"!
FUCS (Fetish University Cambridge Society, founded in TIH V by E. Anderson and A. Danks) We are Ruled by Those with the Most College Crest Bearing Plastic Hair Extensions. We filthify/fantasize over certain of the architecture, derive pleasure from accounts of Trinity beating Johns again, Jesus "bumping" Magdalene etc. We are also Konvertive, by a strike with a suitably defaced picture of Kings Chapel, and our Apex, to be known as Vulpie Larpnursesson, closes the meeting by inappropriate mention of Queens Backs.
Effects: Psalmstrike: Vanilla --> Kick--Youite, FUCSian --> Vanilla; Chapelstrike: Vanilla --> FUCSian, Kick--Youite --> Vanilla.
Arsy Hash-Assassins (New, Guest-Star Attraction at TIH VI) We are a Injokeocracy Ruled by the Cabal Where The Sun Don't Shine. We spend Absolutely All Our time Sending Each Other Smoke-signals with our Spliffs because Hash is so the same thing as the Assassins Game. The meeting is closed when the Cabal Appoints-a-new-Injoke-Umpire-Without-Ever-Giving-A-Reason. The purpose of this "Impire" is i) to Thunderbolt any Cabal Member who dares to spend more than the Incompetence Deadline of one minute without uttering an Injoke, regardless or not of whether they are in a society meeting. ii) to join the Cabal when a new Impire is appointed. Nobody *Ever* Leaves The Cabal.
Note A: following the great Roisin Kiberd, it is obligatory to Phys-rep Spliffs with Celery.
Note B: Thunderbolts count as Deaths for the Inner Half Assassins Game but not as Kills for the Impire. You Lose 2 points for being Thunderbolted.
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. . . HISTORY AND ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
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