Assassination should consist of Universally Tasteful Practical Jokes. Assassination should be subtle. And laid-back Society Meetings, while no-kill zones, should not be entirely safe either (read espionage and `sabotage')... This is the Inner Half of Assassination...
You are the President of a Silly Society. You must advertise that society and run a number of meetings in one of the partitions of the flat. You will also be given the unnamed Presidents of other Silly Societies as targets for assassination. Also, Paddy Rafferteigh has formed a Breakaway Assassin Society that will be simultaneously playing a *different* game of Killer, so there will be as much Confusion as Carnage... Let the Lord of Chaos Rule!
Assassinations can only occur in partitions in which a society meeting is not open at the time. Anyone bearing weapons or committing Wanted Offenses will be fair game for everyone else, so such things are not necessarily a good idea... If you Assassins-die, you will Assassins-Ressurrect after 10 minutes, and, we gather, if you Rafferteigh-die you will Rafferteigh-Ressurrect after 5 minutes. For indeed, not all Assassin-kills are Rafferteigh kills or vice versa. Oh dear! Let the Lord of Chaos Rule indeed!
There is room for 3 or 4 society meetings to be open in distinct partitions at any one time. You can only open a society meeting in a partition not already containing one. It cannot then migrate from that partition (but some societies have obligatory non-meeting activities all over the place; these are NOT protected from assassination). Society meetings cannot go on for longer than 10 minutes total. If a Meeting closes, one cannot open a different meeting for 10 seconds. One can however resume the original meeting so long as the total time does not exceed 10 minutes. Each meeting has a fixed way of being closed by the President/Apex or whoever else its Constitution permits to close the meeting.
Day: Sunday 4 November
Time: Within 15:00 - 19:00
Place: Flat 1, 24 Fitzwilliam Street (Opposite Namesake Museum, off Trumpington Street).
This is presently being organized by Ed Anderson, Joshua Guy Blanchard--Lewis, Michael Donaghy, Emma Pewsey and Emilie Yerby.
0. It is a fun party and please note that the killing is only a game!
Thus No Part of the Evening merits nasty or inappropriate behaviour.
If you are killed, betrayed, lied to or plotted against in the killing,
that is no grounds for taking real-life offense.
1 no part of the evening merits causing Trouble or Nuisance. That's quite easy this time (for an assassinesque event), for it's in a sealed-off private location. Please bring your weaponry discretely to and from the flat, noting beforehand that the weapons allowed are in any case rather small (as befits playing killer in a small place). Also, everyone will talk quietly throughout rather than turn up their volume. While there will be drink, we do not want any alcohol abuse.
2 The purpose of a pluralistic silly party, and of assassins, is the constant meeting of new people and the making of friends. You will see and hear many strange and wonderful things, and you will need to find out who those targets are... Encourages you to mix.
N.B. you are welcome to come as a non-assassin, provided that you nevertheless consent to occasionally being stabbed or shot with safe, carefully handled toy weapons/ fluffy toys/ pieces of cardboard (for you may be misidentified, or killed accidentally, or randomly), and preferably if there are at least eight players present at the party at the time.
3 The Rules of Killer, List of Societies and Scoring System will be publically displayed on the wall. You are not allowed to play any game of Killer unless you've read its rules.
To play, turn up and fill in cards saying what you are the president of and what its power structure and means of closure are. Or take some of the pre-prepared cards for "standard" Silly Societies.
The Inner Umpire on duty has the traditional Immortal and Unbiassed traits of Umpires as regards the assassination bit of the party. The Inner Umpire says:
* All assassin attacks should be Universally Tasteful
Practical Jokes.
I * The assassining is set up to favour those who are keen on assassining on the night.
Reincarnation every 10 minutes will allow the keen but initially hapless quite a number of opportunities
to become proficient/get even...
II * Assassins is not a `contact' or `physical strength' game.
Thus little and large and weak and strong can play together both
evenly, and SAFELY.
Emphasis: Assassins is Never about pushing people around or
forcing them out of your way.
particulars: 1) If someone is holding a door closed you should not attempt
to push it open,
2) Likewise no actual knocking weapons out of other people's
hands.
3) Certainly don't do anything that might even slightly hurt
you or anyone else.
III * You may not kill people in open society meetings.
IV * Only *live players* can kill people. If you are dead, stay totally out of it till you reincarnate...
If you kill anyone not bearing arms, not Wanted, not your target or not your assassin, you are Wanted and everyone will be told that you are and what you are President of.
0 * You may only use something not listed below if the Umpire sees it and approves it.
1 * Labelling: You may improvise attacks by attaching sticky labels to things lying around such as fluffy toys, tissue boxes or blunt pieces of cardboard. The label should say which of the weapons below it's supposed to be. Certainly hard objects such as cutlery or shoes, or overly large objects like pillows, or messy objects such as food items not on the list below are NOT permitted to become weapons by labelling.
2 * Knife: labelled blunt cardboard knives or nerf-darts may be used to TAP WITH NO FORCE IN THE BLOWS. NO ACTUAL STABBING OR SLASHING. These may be thrown. PENS are NOT ALLOWED.
3 * Club: NB this is fatal, not a stun-weapon. labelled rolled-up newspaper, Penguin or Aubergine may also be used to TAP WITH NO FORCE. These may NOT BE THROWN. NO SWORDS ARE ALLOWED.
4 * Furthermore you are NOT ALLOWED TO TAP TO THE FACE OR THE NAUGHTY BITS.
5 * Gun: This game is NO WATER WEAPONS. Also, given the sizes of the rooms and the propensity for strikes
being at close quarters round doorways, you may ONLY use a bandgun to shoot from 1 partition through a second
partition into a 3rd partition (ie as a sniper rifle).
You can use GENTLY FLICKED bands and specifically approved very low power foam dart guns at all ranges.
There are no Bang-Kills.
6 * Grenades: you may throw the Foamballs and Teddy Bears provided. Non-pathological paper balls will also
be allowed. Neither grenades nor knives may be Multi-thrown. Throwing is not allowed if there are glasses/
drink/food in the line of fire.
7 * Razor-Edged Hats: Those labelled hats that are Soft Enough to be Approved by the Umpire cut you right in two!
8 * Blocking is allowed with hand-held weapons. Ricochets count as hits.
There are to be No Blocking Extensions appended onto weapons and No Shields. However, the furniture
etc counts as blocking all weapons, so long as you are not moving it at the time of the hit
(a moving chair cannot also be built out of bullet-deflecting Solid Steel...).
What constitutes a hit and disagreements over kills
9 * Death is instantaneous if hit in the head or torso (unless it's an illicit tap strike, CF * 4).
10 * A hit to a limb results in the loss of that limb as regards playing
assassins until the next incarnation.
11 * Be honest. If you disagree about the outcome of an attack,
12 * This Will be a blindfolded flicked rubber band duel, each starting with 3 bands and there being 6 more bands on the floor. It may take part in a nearby street if there are still a lot of people around at the time.
In addition to Champion, there will also be Actual Prizes for Most Innovative Society Organizer, Most Entertaining Societal Performance, Most Spectacular Kill, Most Deaths, Bringing Criminals To Justice, Longest Run... as well as possible One-offs like Double and Triple Kill Prizes, Worst Pun Prizes, All Souls Merit and Distinction Performance Awards (currently held by only 1 and 3 people respectively) and the All Souls MSc award for any particularly outstanding non-winning performance (currently held only by the Charming and Dread Mr Martin Lester). The Reigning Inner Half Champion is Simeon Bird.
Concealment: any sizeable weapons should be well-hid yet accessible for use. Loose clothing, plastic bags, under a pile of coats...
Imagination: in choosing what to label and how to label it without being seen in a crowded room.
Surprise: in where to spring it from.
Timing: Especially use your societal powers to influence when the meeting closes, within the rules of that society. Only the first two attacks per society per closure will be allowed, and only two attacks involving people from that meeting moving to other meetings.
Lie and Betray: and take no offense from death, deception or treachery.
It's only a game!
Spy: During the meetings, you may determine who your target is.
Steal, Hide or Sabotage: you may attempt these during meetings if they are
not disruptive to the meeting &
label suitable new things as weapons,
so long as none of that disrupts the meeting.
E.g a pig was once swapped for a canister of silly string of equal size,
leaving a player defenceless.
E.g one player had all but their crucial - and better-hidden - weapon
sabotaged at a party.
E.g A certain Christian Union closed a meeting suddenly and early to kill
an infiltrator,
only to die for there were two more unspotted infiltrators behind them.
E.g A gormless fool called Robert turned up to a Sheila meeting,
exiting with a spectacular triple kill of experienced players. He
obviously wasn't a fool or `Robert'.
Long Live the Inner Half!
You only get points by collecting tokens from the persons in question.
If you kill your Target, get 3 points from them and swap that Target card for 2 new Target cards from the Umpire. If you kill your assassin, get 3 points from them and 1 new Target card from Umpire.
If you kill someone for bearing, get 1 point from them.
If you kill somebody Wantedly, get 2 points from the Umpire.
If you kill a Wanted Criminal, get 6 points from them.
PLAN 9: You additionally bet 1 point per person present in each of your society meetings and a bonus of 9 points for the largest society meeting of the evening.
You are welcome to bring your own Silly Society. Here are some Examples for Guidance and for use by those who do not bring one of their own. Enjoy :)
So far, the following Sillynesse has been construed. Be welcome to add/implement/further develop new silly societies if you so wish...
* 1 Root Veg Soc: We are a nitpicking "democracy", devoted to fiddling the constitution so as to stay in power indefinitely. The constitution can only be changed by One who Holds an Adult Aubergine. Our Meetings end when the Constitution Says So, with the words 'Thus Spake A.A. Aubergine. Amen.'
* 2 The Carrollideans Croquet Subring. We are an Inconstitutional Tyranny, whose Meeting Shall Begin when One Present Proves Worthy of Queenship by Either Proving that there is No Such Thing as a Largest Prime, Or being from Trinity. The others shall be alternately allocated the roles of Arches and Players. It's Standard(ish) Croquet except the Queen gets to perform one O(2) transformation on one of the Arches per full playing phase. The meeting ends when the Queen either wins or exclaims "off with their heads !!!". In the latter case, the game can resume, and ends when the first player has gone through all the Correctly-Oriented Arches.
* 3 Crocsoc. We Construct Cardboard Crocodiles and Paint them Greeeeeeeeeeeen ! We are an Anarchistic Commune. Is only Open while at least one person present is Actively Working on a Crocodile.
* 4 Spocksoc. Special Missive: BjoernBorg AGM at QM, 666 Sullivan Street. We are an Oligarchy Ruled by Those with the Tallest Prosthetic Ears, Our Powerbase are the Chairbeings, who shall be known as 'those who are not Alligatorwomen from Posteriors V'. While our Apex, who shall be known as "the Ian", gets to close the meeting by 'Putting Orange Juice in the Fridge'.
* 5 Hammocksoc. We Recline to Comment on our Power-Structure. All merely sitting or standing (spit) are fair game to shoot and be shot. [now known as reclinesoc]
* 6 Entsoc. We will run a Cosplaying Ent. The person most dressed like a tree when the music stops for the first time gets to stop the music the second time so as to end the meeting. Hrooom, Hoom, Now Let's Not Be Hasty!
* 7 Societas Zingiberenifera Secreta. We are the Secret Society that Brings Ginger Cake to Random People. We are not at all the Bavarian Illuminati. Has a "Pyramid-Sales" Recruitment Strategy based on the Number Five. All Hail Dischordia! [*Editor: has been banned from future Inner Half events unless it reforms its brazen gamesmanship. As has Ducksoc.*]
* 8 Capture The Wig. We are an Indoor Battle Assassin Society. Due to Amazingly Timed Terraqueous Teleportation, our Power Structure is not two but Three! Rival Armies - Red Headbands, Yellow Headbands *and* Sentient Race of Evil Spaceturtles (Lortnoi). We play First Team to Two Wins. Winning Army gets to close the meeting!
* 9 CULESBIGAY We will be putting on a performance of Bafta Tame's "the Irrelevance of being Bertie", a light episode of 1910's Sesame Street. We shall meet Thrice: to write the script and audition for the cast, to rehearse and to perform. Powerbase: all present at the first meeting must have a character. Once the last line is written/said, Open Fire!
* 10 Leisure Lap. We are a society of Exotic Dancers that Remove Layers of Boiled Leather and Chainmail, ruled by those who have taken off the most such layers *Editor: while remaining decent.* Our Meetings are closed whenever a Skeleton walks in and is Brained with a Blunt Weapon, this being connected to the Powerstructure in that it is down to the Apex to provide a Skeleton when it suits them.
* 12 The Trinity Foot Bagels. We Bravely Chase Vicious Chicken-Murdering ... cream-cheese-filled buns, and Do For Them, Chiefly with our Packs of Rottweilers and our Trusty 350mm Howitzers, although we sometimes then give them a Jolly Good Stomping (in Antique Diving Boots) "just to make sure"... Our meeting ends when nobody has had Scent of a Bun for over two minutes. Tally Ho!
* 13 Paddy Rafferteigh's Breakaway Assassin Society. We are a Megalomaniocracy which will simultaneously be playing a game of assassins with a slightly different ruleset to model what kinds of problems this gives rise to. Our power structure consists of, precisely, and eternally, Paddy.
* 14 Kick--You. We are a Violontocratic-Konvertive Martial Arts Society focussing on dealing blows with the legs *Editor strictly slow noncontact movements only* and finishing our opponents off with our deadly Psalm Strike. Anyone Receiving a Deadly Psalm Strike is Automatically a Member. Our Apex, to be known as the Sensei of Southwark, is whoever holds the lead in adminstering Psalm-Strikes and shall close the meeting by Hailing "Paramilitary Shift"!
* 15 Sheila and her Dog We are a Tyranny rules by Dance Commanders and Interludes that Read Children's Books in Silly Voices. Our meetings start and close when our Apex drops a Penguin onto the Floor.
* 16 StonedSoc We are a Moshocracy ruled by those with the Highest-Velocity Hair. This might just serve to Centrifuge the Uranium Ore and other Illicit Heavy Metals that we Smoke all the way up to Weapons-Grade Quality. Our meetings are closed by "obtaining a Kebab from the Van of Death".
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. . . HISTORY AND ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS . . .